Ms. Arianna Huffington thinks that things have never been better. Unfortunately for her, she's wrong. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that certain facts are clear. For instance, if she can one day prevent people from thinking and visualizing beyond an increasingly psychologically caged existence, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. I can assure you that her worshippers actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these kinds of unconscionable, oppressive dossers are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before long. In reality, of course, Huffington thinks I'm trying to say that she is omnipotent. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Huffington's head. Woe to the uninformed thought police who acquire public acceptance of her anal-retentive ventures! We must enable all people to achieve their potential as human beings. By "we", I mean all the hundreds of thousands who fundamentally long for the same thing, without, as individuals, finding the words to describe outwardly what they inwardly visualize.

I want to unify our community. Huffington, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it. Ask her about any of her advocates who take us over the edge of the abyss of solipsism, and the rebarbative protestor will say, "I never meant they should go that far." Yeah, right. The truth is that Huffington's lies come in many forms. Some of her lies are in the form of exegeses. Others are in the form of squibs. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion.

It is probably safe to assume that crime unpunished is crime rewarded. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that, so let me assure you that that's just one side of the coin. The other side is that her press releases are more than just unambitious. They're a revolt against nature. When I say that double standards are always foolhardy, I don't just mean that she wants to deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth, that she wants to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts, or that she wants to shred the basic compact between the people and their government. Sure, Huffington sincerely wants all that, but she also wants much more. She wants to push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought. The net effect of her obiter dicta will be a generation of kids who are unable to read, write, or distinguish good from evil. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that Huffington's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Huffington is more adept at hidden mind control and her techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. She maintains that either the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to her demands or that it's okay for her to indulge her every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. Huffington denies any other possibility.

If you think about it you'll see that Huffington's semi-intelligible sound bites are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Huffington's pals are continuing their quiet work of advancing Huffington's real goal, which is to break down age-old institutions and customs. Is there, or is there not, a headstrong plot to turn misers loose against us good citizens, organized through the years by huffy, hate-filled hoodlums? The answer to this all-important question is that not only has the plot existed, but it is now on the verge of complete fulfilment. Huffington's pranks are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, the key to Huffington's soul is her longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. She dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, I really dislike Huffington. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Huffington's perspective is that her objectives enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness. My perspective, in contrast, is that Huffington's reinterpretations of historic events are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, if you want to hide something from Huffington, you just have to put it in a book. The dominant characteristic of Huffington's virulent paroxysms is not that they suborn adversarial traitors to manipulate everything and everybody, but that, in the bargain, they fight with spiritual weapons that are as coldhearted as they are stingy.

Though I don't doubt the depth of Huffington's sentiments, it's rather the form of her expressions that I find both ethically bankrupt and boisterous. Huffington is too directionless to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that if she is going to talk about higher standards, then she needs to live by those higher standards. She wants to advocate measures that others criticize for being excessively cankered. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. Huffington should not condemn innocent people to death. Not now, not ever. For your information, her criticisms of my letters have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, Huffington's criticisms are based solely on her emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in her "I think ... I believe ... I feel" game.

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that in public, Huffington vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Huffington never fails to provide unbalanced conspiracies with the necessary asylum to take root and spread. Given a choice of having her force us to bow down low before egocentric crybabies or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day.

I have reason to believe that Huffington is about to impose a particular curriculum, vision of history, and method of pedagogy on our school systems. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that wanting to needle and wheedle scary Huns into Huffington's gang without any of the obvious repercussions is like wanting a one-sided coin. No joke. If I may be so bold, my conscience compels me to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature. More than that, I can't possibly believe her claim that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because Huffington's bedfellows' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be. The impact of Huffington's mischievous allegations is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that we must place blame where it belongs -- in the hands of Huffington and her drugged-out cult followers. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own tactless cop-outs.

I can definitely suggest how Huffington ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Huffington herself. I wish that some of her expositors would ask themselves, "Why am I helping her convince impressionable young people that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day?" If one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that in a recent essay, she stated that she acts in the name of equality and social justice. Since the arguments she made in the rest of her essay are based in part on that assumption, she should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but if she thinks her metanarratives represent progress, Huffington should rethink her definition of progress. Does Huffington have trouble living with herself, knowing that she has values that are antagonistic to a traditional, moral society? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. She has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and cater to the basest instincts of unpatriotic, amateurish scallawags -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. I want to keep this brief: Huffington insists that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, but no one likes being attacked by satanic quacks. Even worse, Huffington exploits our fear of those attacks -- which she claims will evolve by next weekend into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to make people weak and dependent. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that Huffington's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of fogyism and you'll see a foul Philistine hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of vigilantism in a self-serving attempt to procure explosive devices, gasoline, and detonators for use in an upcoming campaign of terror. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that Huffington's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it.

You may have noticed that I don't want my community tainted with such blatant anarchism. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Huffington wants to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity. Why she wants that, I don't know, but that's what she wants. In a similar vein, if she wants to identify political and religious groups that are her political enemies and re-label them as "grungy paper-pushers" in order to justify operations against them, let her wear the opprobrium of that decision. It's not easy for me to say this, but Huffington's beliefs serve only to safeguard her own power and privilege. There, I said it. Now I can continue with my previous point, which is that Huffington's analects are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. And they promote the mistaken idea that courtesy and manners don't count for anything.

Given the tenor of our times, Huffington has never gotten ahead because of her hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Huffington's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. Her equivocations have paid off: Already, she has had some success in her efforts to do everything possible to keep insensitive, aberrent peddlers of snake-oil remedies irascible and pouty. Like a lion after tasting the blood of human victims, she will abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. If we let Huffington violate values so important to our sense of community, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization. If you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will surely find that there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of Pyrrhonism, and there are those who are not. Huffington is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why there's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will obviously persist as long as Huffington continues to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior she disapproves of. Given this context, we need to return to the idea that motivated this letter: Huffington is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when merciless survivalists increase society's cycle of hostility and violence. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigoddess like Huffington. And fear of unprincipled stroppy-types like Huffington who marginalize and eventually even outlaw responsible critics of the worst sorts of gutless tax cheats there are. Okay, I've vented enough frustration. So let me end by saying that even if Ms. Arianna Huffington's flimflams were thoroughly successful in making a few people feel better, they would still be demeaning to everyone else.

Calm down people.
It's not Tolstoy, it's http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

/This has been a test of the vaginal sand alert system....

I sense my own irremediable inferiority and it smells like napalm.

/and it burns.