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(The American People)   It's that time of year again. Here's the 2007 State of the Union drinking game rules. Tune in tomorrow after the speech to see who wins   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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14435 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2007 at 4:18 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

97 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-01-22 03:30:22 PM  
Heh, according to these rules, only Andre the Giant could have played along and lived to tell the tale the next day.
2007-01-22 03:40:48 PM  
2007-01-22 03:49:59 PM  
If it's a drinking game, we all win.
2007-01-22 03:53:16 PM  
At this drinking game I think the only real winners will be liver transplant centers and the biggest losers will be Farker's insurance companies
2007-01-22 03:54:30 PM  
This is too many to FOLLOW, not too many to drink to.

Need to find more common, or more general phrases. And less of them.
2007-01-22 04:03:42 PM  
Shouldn't we act like concerned and responsible citizens and listen attentively to the leader's ideas ?

Heh, just kidding.
2007-01-22 04:07:19 PM  
That's way too complicated. Here's the simple version:

Drink for every round of applause. Drink double if only one party applauds. Guranteed to get you just a drunk and far less confused.
2007-01-22 04:09:18 PM  
Every time he says "our troops" stand up, salute, and drink a shot.
2007-01-22 04:15:21 PM  
I have a pretty damn high tolerance for alcohol, but if I followed along with this by 5 minutes into it I'd be so drunk that if I tried to talk, what would come out of my mouth would make almost as little sense as what will be coming out of President Dickhead's mouth in that speech. The best anybody could hope for in this game is to pass out halfway through, but fatal alcohol poisoning is the more likely result.
2007-01-22 04:19:25 PM  
Good thing i already drink like a fish...
2007-01-22 04:21:21 PM  
The trick is to play this game two hours before, using a playback of last year's speech.

That's the only way this year's speech will make any sense at all.
2007-01-22 04:21:46 PM  
I'll drink every time Bush "I'm sorry" or "I made a mistake", then I'll drive everyone home.
2007-01-22 04:22:52 PM  
Break out the vodka at WVU, we're burning a couch for this!
2007-01-22 04:23:06 PM  
if i get drunk... i blame Bush
2007-01-22 04:24:07 PM  
"I'll drink every time Bush "I'm sorry" or "I made a mistake", then I'll drive everyone home."

2007-01-22 04:24:26 PM  
The only way I could watch/listen is if I was completely smashed before he started.
2007-01-22 04:24:55 PM  
BizarroHulk: I'll drink every time Bush "I'm sorry" or "I made a mistake", then I'll drive everyone home.

i lol'd

/getting started early
//hey, i turned 19 today, im allowed!
///miller lite tastes like piss
2007-01-22 04:25:07 PM  
What time is it on?
2007-01-22 04:25:10 PM  
My liver hurts
2007-01-22 04:25:53 PM  
Whew, I thought the SOTU was tonight, and thankfully it's not. I would rather watch Prison Break & Heroes.
2007-01-22 04:27:31 PM  
Anyone who's actually playing will have to drink heavily beforehand just to keep up.
2007-01-22 04:28:13 PM  
Bingo cards please!!!!
2007-01-22 04:28:30 PM  
In other news, this site will be a ghost town tomorrow following the alcohol-induced deaths of every farker on the planet.
2007-01-22 04:28:44 PM  
I prefer the SOTU bingo/drinking game, put $50 down, you get a 5x5 list of terms that the president will most likely say. You drink every time he says a phrase in your list of terms. (Preferrably something hard since it won't be as often as this game). If you get bingo, you get all the cash, and 5 more drinks as a congratulations.
2007-01-22 04:28:51 PM  
I am up for the challenge.
2007-01-22 04:29:06 PM  
There's not enough booze in the world to get me through Bush's state of confusion address. No way, no how.
2007-01-22 04:30:23 PM  
Mr. Flosty I am up for the challenge.

The Beakman Challenge?
2007-01-22 04:30:28 PM  
Too many rules. I also side with the "applause" set of rules.

Easy, straight forward, like nothing else in DC.
2007-01-22 04:30:55 PM  

I concur on the Miller Lite thing.
I would rather drink wino vomit.
2007-01-22 04:31:59 PM  
So what this piece of trash will say again...

Iran, bla bla bla, Iraq, bla bla bla, freedom, bla bla bla, terrorists, bla bla bla, war on terror, bla bla bla, WMDs, bla bla bla, Al-Qaeda, bla bla bla, 9/11, bla bla bla, nucular, bla bla bla, Israël, bla bla bla, Ben Laden, bla bla bla, democrats, bla bla bla...

What else? Ah yes, he's a moran.
2007-01-22 04:32:27 PM  
And shouldn't this game involve snorting up a rail of coke every once in awhile?
2007-01-22 04:32:28 PM  
BKITU: Heh, according to these rules, only Andre the Giant could have played along and lived to tell the tale the next day.

Well, at least we don't have to worry about him being in worse shape afterwards...

I'll just be observing...this could easily send me in for another liver biopsy
2007-01-22 04:35:50 PM  
URI will be playing!
2007-01-22 04:36:46 PM  
etoof: Andre?​tml

Awesome Article.

The time arrived, and the anesthesiologist was frantic. He had never put a person of Andre's size under the gas before and had no idea how much to use. Various experts were brought in but no solution presented itself until one of the doctors asked Andre if he was a drinker. Andre responded that, yes, he'd been known to tip a glass from time to time. The doctor then wanted to know how much Andre drank and how much it took to get him drunk.

"Well," rumbled the Giant, "It usually takes two liters of vodka just to make me feel warm inside."
2007-01-22 04:37:32 PM  
i had to drink to get through the rules.
2007-01-22 04:38:43 PM  
I feel sick already.
2007-01-22 04:39:32 PM  
Why are we drinking Irish car bombs for "sectarian violence"? Shouldn't we have an IED mixed drink by now?
2007-01-22 04:40:08 PM  
when's the part where we yell at the television?
2007-01-22 04:40:13 PM  
And then I answered my own question:
2007-01-22 04:40:53 PM  
I thought you were supposed to drink every time someone said "Bob". Guess that's something different.

Actually did that one night while watching Nick at Nite. I probably wouldn have been alright if I hadn't followed up with the "Gilligan" drinking game. Dear god.
2007-01-22 04:42:03 PM  
meddlin' kid

when's the part where we yell at the television?

If you're like me, that's pretty much constantly.
2007-01-22 04:42:28 PM  

You forgot how he's going to cite the progress we've made towards banning animal-human hybrids.

/"god-schmod, I want my monkeyman."
2007-01-22 04:43:31 PM  
Now I want an Irish Car Bomb and a Scotch egg, dammit.
2007-01-22 04:49:00 PM  
If he says "they hate us for our freedom" one more time, I will be boozing it up hard. Not because it's a fun game, but because awful lies make me drink.
2007-01-22 04:49:42 PM  
booze + shoddy politics = good time at my place tomorrow night.
2007-01-22 04:50:03 PM  
mill230: URI will be playing!

Yeah, like URI ever needs an excuse to start drinking ;)
2007-01-22 04:50:09 PM  
dammit ive got midterms
/still in highschool
2007-01-22 04:50:35 PM  
IXI Jim IXI: I'll just be observing...this could easily send me in for another liver biopsy

Great... now we're going to have more dead eskimo parts to clean up.
2007-01-22 04:51:21 PM  
mmmmm, irish carbomb...

[image from too old to be available]
2007-01-22 04:55:25 PM  
Ya mean a Boston Irish Car Bomb, doncha?

'Tis cute, though -- irish car bomb...I always thought that meant DeLorean.
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