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(MSNBC)   Chuck Schumer says the Dems can win the White House the way they won the House and Senate: By getting people to vote for his imaginary friends. No, really. That's actually what he says   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line
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469 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Jan 2007 at 4:30 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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the_gospel_of_thomas
2007-01-22 1:50:40 PM  
"Biking through New York's boroughs in 2005, I thought about some old friends, Joe and Eileen Bailey. Though they are imaginary, I frequently talk to them. To me, they represent the hardworking and often-ignored families who are not tuned in to special-interest newsletters or editorial pages, but want a little something more from their government and their leaders."


Great.

First, we had George W "God speaks to me" Bush ... and now senator chuckie here tells us that he actually talks to his imaginary friends.

Wonderful.
 
jasonmicron
2007-01-22 1:51:54 PM  
Submitter doesn't understand what Joe and Eileen represent.
 
Tastes Like Chicken
2007-01-22 1:53:17 PM  
8 words. This is like a game.

Earn respect abroad. Foster equality domestically. Balanced budget.

First troll to post something stupid gets a cockpunch.
 
togamoos
2007-01-22 1:55:17 PM  
jasonmicron: Submitter doesn't understand what Joe and Eileen represent.

Neither does tgot. But hey, blatant misrepresentations of things other people say have gotten Republicans this far, why would they give up on a trusted tactic now?
 
sepuku2
2007-01-22 1:55:45 PM  
Joe and Eileen Bailey. Though they are imaginary, I frequently talk to them.

Okay. I kind of get it. But why doesn't he bother talking to real people? I mean his farkin constituents aren't imaginary are they?......Hmmm I may be on to something.
 
Nabb1
2007-01-22 1:59:02 PM  
I stumbled on his MySpace page where he describes a hot threeway with a couple named "Joe and Eileen." He didn't mention them being imaginary. Dude is a freak.
 
the_gospel_of_thomas
2007-01-22 2:01:04 PM  
... similarly confused as to what God represents as well.
 
Gulper Eel
2007-01-22 2:10:51 PM  
Good for Schumer.

After decades of New York Democrats registering thousands of imaginary people to vote straight party-line, it's about time somebody stood up to give these imaginary constituents something in return for their years of support.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 2:25:00 PM  
Yup.

GOP flacks fail at metaphor.
 
captainktainer
2007-01-22 2:27:03 PM  
sepuku2: Okay. I kind of get it. But why doesn't he bother talking to real people? I mean his farkin constituents aren't imaginary are they?......Hmmm I may be on to something.

Because they're an amalgamation of many people. Also, because if you choose a real family, you open yourself up to political vulnerability if the opposition gets to them. Look at the union guy that Reagan put in his ads in '80 and then came back and attacked him for being anti-union and anti-working class in '84.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:44:17 PM  
1. "Bush is an idiot because he has sometimes said things that seemed incoherent or at least badly put."

2. "Anyone who things what Schumer said was incoherent or at least badly put is an idiot for not being as brilliant as he is or at least trying to take the time to figure out what he really meant."

/just making sure I have the talking points clear
 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:44:57 PM  
Obsama homo abortion pot and commie jizz emporium?

That's 8 words. Jon Stewart outlined this a year ago.
 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:45:32 PM  
God dammit I made the one typo us libs aren't supposed to make.

Osama's homo abortion pot and commie jizz emporium?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:47:09 PM  
This Is Bold Text: Obsama homo abortion pot and commie jizz emporium?

You have just completed the "Two Degrees Between Obama and Osama" lightning round. Congrats!
 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:48:15 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin

You have just completed the "Two Degrees Between Obama and Osama" lightning round. Congrats!

And it was completely accidental. ARRGGGHHH!!!
 
Nabb1
2007-01-22 2:48:50 PM  
Skleenar: GOP flacks fail at metaphor.

Republican Party, Democratic Party, P-Funk Party, I don't care. If poking a little good natured fun at a notable politician who says he talks to imaginary friends is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Humor, you know?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:50:12 PM  
This Is Bold Text: And it was completely accidental. ARRGGGHHH!!!

Can't decide if I like "Obsama" or "Osbama" better. What do you think?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:51:27 PM  
Skleenar: GOP flacks fail at metaphor.

Oh, is that what it is? I thought it was that we are too stupid to understand nuance.

No, wait; that was with John Kerry. Never mind.
 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:51:35 PM  
Obsama has a better ring to it.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 2:53:36 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: /just making sure I have the talking points clear

You are really stretching in these threads.

It is getting hard to find Republicans who don't think Bush is an idiot these days.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:54:13 PM  
This Is Bold Text: Obsama has a better ring to it.

Obsama bin Hussein Laden Barack it is.

BRB. Gotta go call Sean Hannity.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 2:55:09 PM  
Nabb1: Republican Party, Democratic Party, P-Funk Party, I don't care. If poking a little good natured fun at a notable politician who says he talks to imaginary friends is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Humor, you know?

I think the headline was humor.

It is the jeering section in the thread that doesn't understand metaphor.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:57:13 PM  
Skleenar: It is getting hard to find Republicans who don't think Bush is an idiot these days.

So tell me your opinion, then:

How is it that Jimmy Carter, who was both president AND a nuclear physicist, never got called an idiot for saying "nukular," but people who ought to know better go around saying Bush IS an idiot for the same thing?

If you think sound bites and flubs Tivoed ad nauseum say anything worth hearing about someone's intelligence, I have a bridge for sale. If you think Bush is an idiot based on his policies, fine--at least that's arguable.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 2:59:33 PM  
Skleenar: It is the jeering section in the thread that doesn't understand metaphor.

Not only do I understand metaphor, I know it well enough to spot when someone fumbles one so badly he looks like he's asking people to vote for his imaginary friends.

If you don't like jeering, you're on the wrong site. Try this one instead (pops).
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:02:57 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: If you think sound bites and flubs Tivoed ad nauseum say anything worth hearing about someone's intelligence, I have a bridge for sale. If you think Bush is an idiot based on his policies, fine--at least that's arguable.

You just don't understand humor.

What, just out of curiousity, is your opinion of Mr. Bush's intelligence?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:06:50 PM  
Skleenar: What, just out of curiousity, is your opinion of Mr. Bush's intelligence?

Heh. I remember when the Gore camp started the whole "Bush is a moron and Gore is a public-policy wonk" debate, only to have some paper publish both their college transcripts--which showed Bush got better grades than Gore.

I think that:

1. No idiot gets an Ivy League MBA (no, his daddy did not buy it for him any more than Gore's daddy bought him his).

2. It'd be awful hard for idiot to be president, much less get elected.

Yes, that means I think Gore, Clinton and Bush are all intelligent men.

YOU tell ME: Is Bush an evil genius or a really, really lucky idiot?
 
Abagadro
2007-01-22 3:08:39 PM  
I don't need to read anyone's college transcripts to see that they are a dope. Bush is a dope.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:09:14 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: YOU tell ME: Is Bush an evil genius or a really, really lucky idiot?

How about an evil idiot?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:09:56 PM  
Abagadro: I don't need to read anyone's college transcripts to see that they are a dope. Bush is a dope.

In that case, don't need to see anything but your profile name to know that you molest sheep.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:10:30 PM  
Abagadro: I don't need to read anyone's college transcripts to see that they are a dope. Bush is a dope.

Nor, for that matter, do I need to know how they pronounce "nuclear".

That's just the funny icing on the idiot cake.
 
Abagadro
2007-01-22 3:11:43 PM  
In that case, don't need to see anything but your profile name to know that you molest sheep.

Only on Thursdays and never without consent.
 
Nabb1
2007-01-22 3:13:44 PM  
Skleenar: Nor, for that matter, do I need to know how they pronounce "nuclear".

Interestingly, I recall Jimmy Carter pronounced "nuclear" the same way, and he even had a professional background in nuclear energy.

I don't think we've ever had a President who was someone whom I would call an "idiot." Polk was a little slow on the uptake, but other than that, I think pretty much every President has been of at least better than average intelligence.

/How did we get from Schumer's imaginary friends to Bush's intelligence, anyway?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:14:05 PM  
Skleenar: How about an evil idiot?

Yeah. Evil enough to skip to go AWOL from TANG; stupid enough to hide all the evidence.

Dumber than Gore, but evil enough to switch their report cards.

Stupid enough to get elected; evil enough to get re-elected.

Evil enough to hire brilliant advisors; dumb enough to need them.

Evil enough to trick the entire United States Congress into giving him war powers; dumb enough to use them.

I just love when people proudly announce that they were duped into supporting the invasion of Iraq by an idiot who can't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:14:44 PM  
Nabb1: I don't think we've ever had a President who was someone whom I would call an "idiot." Polk was a little slow on the uptake, but other than that, I think pretty much every President has been of at least better than average intelligence.

Your thoughtful, reasonable remarks have no place here.
 
Abagadro
2007-01-22 3:19:58 PM  
I just love when people proudly announce that they were duped into supporting the invasion of Iraq by an idiot who can't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.

Speak for yourself skippy. Some of us weren't that gullible.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:23:33 PM  
Skleenar: Abagadro: I don't need to read anyone's college transcripts to see that they are a dope. Bush is a dope.

Nor, for that matter, do I need to know how they pronounce "nuclear".

Last time my IQ was tested it was 162. Nevertheless I often say "them" instead of "those," as in "I need one of them beers."

So what? I also make typos when I'm in forums and in a hurry? Does that make me an idjit?

Verbal gaffes do not an idiot make.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-22 3:24:23 PM  
Abagadro: Speak for yourself skippy. Some of us weren't that gullible.

This has been fun but I gots a meeting to go to for about an hour. I will no doubt just sit and drool on the table, but I have to actually be there. See y'all later.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:24:36 PM  
Nabb1: /How did we get from Schumer's imaginary friends to Bush's intelligence, anyway?

Ask Merv Griffin.

Interestingly, I recall Jimmy Carter pronounced "nuclear" the same way, and he even had a professional background in nuclear energy.

That doesn't really conflict with my point.

Oh, and as to your comments about Bush's intelligence--Obviously the man is not a functional idiot. He is a relatively high-functioning adult but one with some extremely troubling areas of disconnected thinking. And one who is profoundly incurious about issues vital to the exectution of a sound domestic and foreign policy. And he seems, at times, to be held in sway of ideological advice that appears to resist even the most jarring knocks applied by reality. He also seems to be profoundly lacking in empathy for large swathes of humanity

So, no, he isn't an idiot. Nor do I believe that he is evil.

But it is very hard to tell the difference sometimes.

/respectful answer to a respectful comment
 
Abagadro
2007-01-22 3:24:51 PM  
Last time my IQ was tested it was 162.

Wooo, newly created Maxim #7 gets another hit!
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:26:39 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: Last time my IQ was tested it was 162.

Yeah, well my schlong is 18".
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:29:15 PM  
Abagadro: Wooo, newly created Maxim #7 gets another hit!

Do I get a new maxim all my own?

Because, you know, with a schlong like mine, reading that magazine can sort of be, well, uncomfortable.
 
Abagadro
2007-01-22 3:54:23 PM  
Do I get a new maxim all my own?

Perhaps the Penis Size Corolary will be added at some future date. It needs to be more pervasive though to reach such exalted status.
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 3:56:40 PM  
Abagadro: It needs to be more pervasive though to reach such exalted status.

Mine has already reached exalted status.

/tryng to catapult the propaganda
 
DisneyOnIce
2007-01-22 4:00:38 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: Last time my IQ was tested it was 162.


I also make typos when I'm in forums and in a hurry

Obviously. An IQ of 16.2 is more likely.
 
implementor
2007-01-22 4:50:11 PM  
"Foster equality domestically."

Which really means "everyone must suffer equally".
 
Skleenar
2007-01-22 4:55:07 PM  
implementor: Which really means "everyone must suffer equally".

Right. Because there is no way that everyone could be comfortable if wealth were more equally distributed.

The only way to avoid discomfort is to accellerate the growth in the gap between rich and poor--

One just has to look at how miserable everyone was in the '50s to see what a more equal wealth distribution brings.
 
uh_clem
2007-01-22 5:19:05 PM  
From TFA:

Biking through New York's boroughs in 2005, I thought about some old friends, Joe and Eileen Bailey. Though they are imaginary, I frequently talk to them. To me, they represent the hardworking and often-ignored families who are not tuned in to special-interest newsletters or editorial pages, but want a little something more from their government and their leaders.
Two obvious points:

1) He knows that they're imaginary
2) He talks to them

When they start talking to him, and he believes that they're real, let's talk. Otherwise, STFU subtard.
 
Maud Dib
2007-01-22 5:20:14 PM  
Dumbya is NOT an evil genius. He's more like Evil Lite.
 
Fakk
2007-01-22 5:21:37 PM  
sepuku2: Okay. I kind of get it. But why doesn't he bother talking to real people? I mean his farkin constituents aren't imaginary are they?......Hmmm I may be on to something.

My thoughts exactly. Why exactly does he need to come up with a metaphorical set of people when he can talk to REAL constituents? It's quite possible that the real constituents want something different from the metaphorical ones.

Maybe he could have worded this differently, so as not to sound so dumb.

"If one were to take a summary of my constituents' needs, desires and concerns and turned them into an imaginary couple, say, a Joe and Jane Constituent...this is what they would say to me...[snip] and this is what I'd say to them...[snip]."

That doesn't sound AS dumb, but he should have just said, "My constituents care about this and this and this, and this is what I plan on doing about those things."
 
Gulper Eel
2007-01-22 5:25:00 PM  
Sitting on the same committee as those two blowhards Biden and Kennedy, it's a wonder Schumer only has two imaginary friends.
 
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