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(Denver Post)   This just in: "Semen sales are serious business." Semen salesman react stiffly to semen jokes, saying it's hard work and they just need the occasional stroke. Business is goo, though. I mean, GOOD -- business is GOOD   (denverpost.com) divider line
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    More: Amusing  
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4997 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 12 Jan 2007 at 6:25 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



88 Comments     (+0 »)


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carrot
2007-01-12 3:46:02 PM  
[image from img101.imageshack.us too old to be available]

/thanks Imageshack and ilovebacon
 
muninsfire
2007-01-12 3:46:05 PM  
That'd be one job that'd be quite the interesting resume' entry....

2007-present
Sold spoo.

Reason for leaving:

Too much bull shiat.
 
buried_alive
2007-01-12 3:53:16 PM  
I once sold insurance to a guy who sold semen.
 
Slim Pickens
2007-01-12 4:01:25 PM  
Their sample cases must hold quite a load.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2007-01-12 4:06:48 PM  
buried_alive: I once sold insurance to a guy who sold semen.

I'd love to read that policy. Did it have an accidental thawing clause or a clause for when they accidentally give the doctor ranch dressing instead?
 
biandlarge
2007-01-12 4:10:25 PM  
"Their industry is growing," he said, "and we hope to have a hand in that."

[image from dts.ystoretools.com too old to be available]
 
BXRWXR
2007-01-12 4:24:00 PM  
Haha - that's sperm.
 
UberDave [OhFark]
2007-01-12 4:30:52 PM  
People only do this because Jack helped them off the bull...
 
sinistermonk
2007-01-12 4:31:34 PM  
Oh cum on, I'm sure Semen salesmen have to be very protein protean to get the hard sales.
 
insane_idoru
2007-01-12 4:39:44 PM  
So...many...jokes...

*head a'splodes
 
No Catchy Nickname
2007-01-12 5:02:09 PM  
Semen salesman must be the only career where you want to get the sac.
 
RocketRod
2007-01-12 5:03:44 PM  
Jerk.
 
muninsfire
2007-01-12 5:23:38 PM  
No Catchy Nickname: Semen salesman must be the only career where you want to get the sac.

It's a high-pressure and rather hard profession--unless you have brass balls and a proficiency in bulls hitting, you won't get jack.

If you're good, though, you'll be able to hold yourself erect with pride, as you cum to realize the fertility of your chosen profession.
 
Rose of Sharon
2007-01-12 5:24:45 PM  
I have nothing to insert, so I'm just gonna say bwaahahaha
 
wegro [recently expired TotalFark]
2007-01-12 5:42:48 PM  
+1
 
clevershark
2007-01-12 6:28:04 PM  
As long as demand holds firm, sales should remain fluid, and the product is so valuable it's practically a liquidity.
 
A Gentile in Boca
2007-01-12 6:29:00 PM  
From our sales team:
Thank you for your jizzness
 
MONSTERTRUCK
2007-01-12 6:29:46 PM  
My mom gave selling Bull Semen a shot back in 1990. No one bought it.
 
llarken
2007-01-12 6:32:23 PM  
9.9
 
jiggold
2007-01-12 6:34:08 PM  
Testicles.
 
MONSTERTRUCK
2007-01-12 6:34:10 PM  
I've always wondered just how exactly they get the Bull Semen. Do they show the master-bull pics of old dirty FarSide cartoons?
 
gtv42
2007-01-12 6:34:11 PM  
subby has good comedic timing.
 
kb7rky
2007-01-12 6:34:20 PM  
I bet they have handfuls of business...er, I mean, buttloads of business...

/whatever...one man's buttload is another man's handful
//or so I was told...
 
TMark765
2007-01-12 6:35:05 PM  
Too easy a target......
/got nothin'......
 
mysticgummibear
2007-01-12 6:35:23 PM  
Saw this on Miami Vice 20 years ago.

/stolen sperm worth $1 million
//no bull
 
you_idiot
2007-01-12 6:35:40 PM  
Wait, so someone installed a tap in Paris Hilton's belly button?
 
jiggold
2007-01-12 6:35:50 PM  
It's busy over there as donors and coming and going, going and coming... and always too soon.

/not mine, Mels
//no, no, the Jewish one that's intentionally funny
 
clevershark
2007-01-12 6:36:28 PM  
They're making money hand over fist!
 
palisade_hacker
2007-01-12 6:37:14 PM  
It takes a firm hand in this business. We don't mess around, we go right for the prize.

Our mission statement is: Stroke your way to happiness.

We want to provide you with maximum satisfaction, giving you more bang for your buck.

We can be as bullish or gentle as you need, tending to your business, watching out for those tender moments when all you need is a paper towel and a shoulder to cry on.

We care. We touch you. We go deeper than any other business.

Four Stroke Inc. We milk the competition.
 
jiggold
2007-01-12 6:37:35 PM  
Good business, so long as you know how to squeeze out a profit.
 
nobozo
2007-01-12 6:37:40 PM  
Give until it hurts my new motto
 
Malachamavet
2007-01-12 6:37:46 PM  
Stephen Colbert unavailable for comment.
 
WBlows
2007-01-12 6:39:52 PM  
Stephen's doing it-
It's gotta be a great business.

/An old couple were in a doctor's office and the nurse told the old man that she needed a semen, urine and stool sample. The old man looked at his wife and said, "What did she say?"

His wife said, "She wants your underwear."
 
Aughsum
2007-01-12 6:40:40 PM  
ZINGZINC!
 
clevershark
2007-01-12 6:40:55 PM  
It's all good and fine if you're in sales, but if you're stuck collecting the product you've got the third worst job in the science world.
 
Kinjana
2007-01-12 6:41:23 PM  
FTA: "Their industry is growing," he said, "and we hope to have a hand in that."


/no further commment needed.
 
clevershark
2007-01-12 6:42:04 PM  
I became more and more interested the subject, and then I suddenly lost all interest in it.
 
nobozo
2007-01-12 6:42:21 PM  
Healty fear of bears Colbert - now we know the rest of story?
 
MONSTERTRUCK
2007-01-12 6:42:28 PM  
What, no PlayCow magazine pics?
 
ChubbyTiger
2007-01-12 6:42:39 PM  
This thread is great. Of course, my wife walks in and sees the "Win $500 Free Semen" pic at the top. She gave me a very funny look.
 
trappedspirit
2007-01-12 6:44:08 PM  
I think that headline tried to head in about 5 directions at once.
 
zopi
2007-01-12 6:44:49 PM  
I want in on the door to door end of that...
 
Donnie Darko
2007-01-12 6:45:03 PM  
balls balls balls


Nice job subby
 
boonfarker
2007-01-12 6:45:41 PM  
I'm guessing semen sales requires someone with spunk.
 
tiiger [OhFark]
2007-01-12 6:46:53 PM  
[image from i73.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
The Flying Camel
2007-01-12 6:48:22 PM  
ChubbyTiger

Was it a funny "Win me that semen" look?
 
Funkmaster Frank
2007-01-12 6:49:52 PM  
clevershark: It's all good and fine if you're in sales, but if you're stuck collecting the product you've got the third worst job in the science world.

It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
 
Garble
2007-01-12 6:50:40 PM  
Me? I can't give the stuff away.
 
MONSTERTRUCK
2007-01-12 6:50:53 PM  
Hey Bull, wanna cigarette?
 
Epsilon
2007-01-12 6:51:16 PM  
"Nice to meet you. What do you do for a living?"

"I sell cum."
 
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