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(Denver Post)   This just in: "Semen sales are serious business." Semen salesman react stiffly to semen jokes, saying it's hard work and they just need the occasional stroke. Business is goo, though. I mean, GOOD -- business is GOOD   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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4997 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 12 Jan 2007 at 6:25 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

88 Comments     (+0 »)

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2007-01-12 3:46:02 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

/thanks Imageshack and ilovebacon
2007-01-12 3:46:05 PM  
That'd be one job that'd be quite the interesting resume' entry....

Sold spoo.

Reason for leaving:

Too much bull shiat.
2007-01-12 3:53:16 PM  
I once sold insurance to a guy who sold semen.
2007-01-12 4:01:25 PM  
Their sample cases must hold quite a load.
2007-01-12 4:06:48 PM  
buried_alive: I once sold insurance to a guy who sold semen.

I'd love to read that policy. Did it have an accidental thawing clause or a clause for when they accidentally give the doctor ranch dressing instead?
2007-01-12 4:10:25 PM  
"Their industry is growing," he said, "and we hope to have a hand in that."

[image from too old to be available]
2007-01-12 4:24:00 PM  
Haha - that's sperm.
2007-01-12 4:30:52 PM  
People only do this because Jack helped them off the bull...
2007-01-12 4:31:34 PM  
Oh cum on, I'm sure Semen salesmen have to be very protein protean to get the hard sales.
2007-01-12 4:39:44 PM  

*head a'splodes
2007-01-12 5:02:09 PM  
Semen salesman must be the only career where you want to get the sac.
2007-01-12 5:03:44 PM  
2007-01-12 5:23:38 PM  
No Catchy Nickname: Semen salesman must be the only career where you want to get the sac.

It's a high-pressure and rather hard profession--unless you have brass balls and a proficiency in bulls hitting, you won't get jack.

If you're good, though, you'll be able to hold yourself erect with pride, as you cum to realize the fertility of your chosen profession.
2007-01-12 5:24:45 PM  
I have nothing to insert, so I'm just gonna say bwaahahaha
2007-01-12 5:42:48 PM  
2007-01-12 6:28:04 PM  
As long as demand holds firm, sales should remain fluid, and the product is so valuable it's practically a liquidity.
2007-01-12 6:29:00 PM  
From our sales team:
Thank you for your jizzness
2007-01-12 6:29:46 PM  
My mom gave selling Bull Semen a shot back in 1990. No one bought it.
2007-01-12 6:32:23 PM  
2007-01-12 6:34:08 PM  
2007-01-12 6:34:10 PM  
I've always wondered just how exactly they get the Bull Semen. Do they show the master-bull pics of old dirty FarSide cartoons?
2007-01-12 6:34:11 PM  
subby has good comedic timing.
2007-01-12 6:34:20 PM  
I bet they have handfuls of, I mean, buttloads of business...

/ man's buttload is another man's handful
//or so I was told...
2007-01-12 6:35:05 PM  
Too easy a target......
/got nothin'......
2007-01-12 6:35:23 PM  
Saw this on Miami Vice 20 years ago.

/stolen sperm worth $1 million
//no bull
2007-01-12 6:35:40 PM  
Wait, so someone installed a tap in Paris Hilton's belly button?
2007-01-12 6:35:50 PM  
It's busy over there as donors and coming and going, going and coming... and always too soon.

/not mine, Mels
//no, no, the Jewish one that's intentionally funny
2007-01-12 6:36:28 PM  
They're making money hand over fist!
2007-01-12 6:37:14 PM  
It takes a firm hand in this business. We don't mess around, we go right for the prize.

Our mission statement is: Stroke your way to happiness.

We want to provide you with maximum satisfaction, giving you more bang for your buck.

We can be as bullish or gentle as you need, tending to your business, watching out for those tender moments when all you need is a paper towel and a shoulder to cry on.

We care. We touch you. We go deeper than any other business.

Four Stroke Inc. We milk the competition.
2007-01-12 6:37:35 PM  
Good business, so long as you know how to squeeze out a profit.
2007-01-12 6:37:40 PM  
Give until it hurts my new motto
2007-01-12 6:37:46 PM  
Stephen Colbert unavailable for comment.
2007-01-12 6:39:52 PM  
Stephen's doing it-
It's gotta be a great business.

/An old couple were in a doctor's office and the nurse told the old man that she needed a semen, urine and stool sample. The old man looked at his wife and said, "What did she say?"

His wife said, "She wants your underwear."
2007-01-12 6:40:40 PM  
2007-01-12 6:40:55 PM  
2007-01-12 6:41:23 PM  
FTA: "Their industry is growing," he said, "and we hope to have a hand in that."

/no further commment needed.
2007-01-12 6:42:04 PM  
I became more and more interested the subject, and then I suddenly lost all interest in it.
2007-01-12 6:42:21 PM  
Healty fear of bears Colbert - now we know the rest of story?
2007-01-12 6:42:28 PM  
What, no PlayCow magazine pics?
2007-01-12 6:42:39 PM  
This thread is great. Of course, my wife walks in and sees the "Win $500 Free Semen" pic at the top. She gave me a very funny look.
2007-01-12 6:44:08 PM  
I think that headline tried to head in about 5 directions at once.
2007-01-12 6:44:49 PM  
I want in on the door to door end of that...
2007-01-12 6:45:03 PM  
balls balls balls

Nice job subby
2007-01-12 6:45:41 PM  
I'm guessing semen sales requires someone with spunk.
2007-01-12 6:46:53 PM  
2007-01-12 6:48:22 PM  

Was it a funny "Win me that semen" look?
2007-01-12 6:49:52 PM  
clevershark: It's all good and fine if you're in sales, but if you're stuck collecting the product you've got the third worst job in the science world.

It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
2007-01-12 6:50:40 PM  
Me? I can't give the stuff away.
2007-01-12 6:50:53 PM  
Hey Bull, wanna cigarette?
2007-01-12 6:51:16 PM  
"Nice to meet you. What do you do for a living?"

"I sell cum."
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