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(Reuters)   Bob Dylan bores Simon Cowell to tears. In related news -- well, actually there is no related news. Or news, for that matter   (today.reuters.com) divider line
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1279 clicks; posted to Music » and Entertainment » on 12 Jan 2007 at 2:04 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)


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rotsky [TotalFark]
2007-01-12 1:43:42 PM  
It's a wonder he knows even how to breathe. Simon, that is.
 
jake_lex
2007-01-12 2:09:33 PM  
All you need to know from the article:

On the other hand, he told Playboy that inaugural champ Kelly Clarkson is "a young Aretha Franklin," and he much preferred her music to Dylan's.

I think that speaks for itself.
 
Boyd Schidt
2007-01-12 2:14:46 PM  
I agree. Dylan is not the genius he is made out to be.
 
TheAnvil
2007-01-12 2:15:55 PM  
Boyd Schidt: I agree. Dylan is not the genius he is made out to be.

True, but he's got scoreboard all over Simon Cowell.
 
Pocket Ninja [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2007-01-12 2:16:13 PM  
I have been listening to Modern Times more or less non-stop for the past week.

I can't listen to Simon Cowell for longer than about 10 minutes without wanting to physically harm him.

I think that's all there really is to say about that.
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2007-01-12 2:21:41 PM  
submitter: In related news--well, actually there is no related news. Or news, for that matter

Well then, you've come to the right place!
 
Mega Steve
2007-01-12 2:24:24 PM  
Pocket Ninja

I can't listen to Simon Cowell for longer than about 10 minutes without wanting to physically harm him.

The cover your ears. The beast feeds on hate.
 
BrotherTheodore
2007-01-12 2:32:11 PM  
Boyd Schidt: I agree. Dylan is not the genius he is made out to be.

Not true.

He's a genius for making people think he's a genius.
 
catatonicsrus
2007-01-12 2:33:53 PM  
Dear Boyd Schidt,
Dylan is more influential to music than you will ever be to anything in history, ever. Go put in some Kelly Clarkson and take a warm bath in your own semen and s**t while puffing on a cigarette dreaming that you could be her... you could touch her... then you touch yourself and pretend it's her... since she's been gone... you can breath for the first time... you're touching yourself.... yeah, yeah... thanks to her... now you get... what you want... masturbation
 
SoupGuru [TotalFark]
2007-01-12 2:37:15 PM  
catatonicsrus

That's hot. Please, continue....
 
HulkingMenace
2007-01-12 2:45:33 PM  
Dylan is a mumbly boring schmuck. Whatever talent he once possessed has long been disbursed, and his music is actively painful. Don't get me wrong, Idol is crap, and it's 'stars' should be collectively shot, but they don't irritate me on nearly the same level Dylan's boring droning does.
 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark]
2007-01-12 2:46:06 PM  
Dylan has his place, and he was massively influential, but I find his lyrics too moon/june/spoon. Trying hard to make a rhyme and a point at the same time, sometimes the rhyme wins, sometimes the point wins. He's a voice for some people; he has never really spoken to me so much.

Then again, I think Mark E. Smith writes the more brilliant lyrics around, so you can tell me to go fark off if you like.
 
RedMosquito
2007-01-12 2:50:12 PM  
catatonicsrus: you're touching yourself.... yeah, yeah

Dude, did you just get off?
 
floridian62
2007-01-12 2:57:15 PM  
yuuuu used bathe in other people's semen and loved the skank of it
yuuuuuuuu used to sniff other people's undies and almost tanked from it
you used to be
so amused
by rimjobbing fags
and trimming their pubes
 
MrJesus
2007-01-12 3:09:17 PM  
floridian62: AWWW HOW DOES IT FEEL
 
catatonicsrus
2007-01-12 3:19:29 PM  
RedMosquito
No, those are the real lyrics, i swear. Don't google it. I swear. SINCE YOU"VE BEEN GOOOOONNNEENEN!!!!!that song makes me want to shoot myself, or others... basically something needs to die when I hear it, and it's usually a part of my soul.
 
amindtat
2007-01-12 3:20:04 PM  
PC LOAD LETTER

Dylan has his place, and he was massively influential, but I find his lyrics too moon/june/spoon. Trying hard to make a rhyme and a point at the same time, sometimes the rhyme wins, sometimes the point wins.

I got all knee-jerky and was going to argue your point and find as many songs as I could by Dylan that didn't rhyme, but I didn't get very far. Here's the few Dylan gems (and no, not all of his songs are gems) at least that don't rely on rhyming:

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall- other than "son" and "one" there are no rhymes
Masters of War- one rhyme- "brain" and "drain"
Gates of Eden

/But he's still real to me, dammit!
 
mitchcumpstein
2007-01-12 3:24:09 PM  
Simon Cowell has no place commenting on any music other than 'pop.' And simply the fact that all 'pop' music combined has the musical depth of a blade of grass I think we can all agree that Simon Cowell's opinion isn't worth a chunk of shale. But hey, he is good at packaging tasteless music to the brainwashed masses, if you consider that a redeeming quality.
 
mpv81
2007-01-12 3:24:09 PM  
I'll step out on a limb here and say that, while I do like a lot of Dylan's work (Blood on the Tracks), I think he has mistakingly been cast into a godlike figure.

Whew. Catharsis! I finally said it out loud (sort of).
 
donk the honkey
2007-01-12 3:27:15 PM  
amindtat

if you think masters of war only has one rhyme you better revisit the lyrics.
 
Darkslide
2007-01-12 3:29:47 PM  
Dylan is an insanely prolific (~50 albums), and legendary performer, who has been touring for like 40 years. His rise to fame was music that was meant to change the minds of those hating on the younger generations, His music has deep meaning. Countless books, and films have been made about him.

Clarkson has 2 albums, writes none of her own music, and will be forgotten within 10 years.

You can't even compare the two.

/Simon Cowell is an Idiot
//Yes I will Probably watch Idol this year
///No I don't vote
////Yes I'm a Dylan fan under 21.
//Slashes are the most fun you can have sober.
 
haplo53
2007-01-12 3:39:58 PM  
Pocket Ninja
I have been listening to Modern Times more or less non-stop for the past week.

it really is quite terrific, isn't it?
 
Already Disturbed
2007-01-12 3:42:14 PM  
I'd like to see Cowell's blood on the tracks.
 
JohnnyCanuck
2007-01-12 3:55:00 PM  
Dylan is one of the best lyric writers in history. What he did was not to appease the masses of idiots...like Simon whatshisface...but to satisfy his own longings and emotions. If you can share that with him in song...lucky you.
 
davynelson
2007-01-12 4:07:04 PM  
Simon Coward will say ANYTHING contrary just to get a reaction and stay on Fark.

Don't even link to his every second thought anymore.
 
honk if you demand satisfaction
2007-01-12 4:24:58 PM  
got too drunk last nite. musta drunk too much. woke up this morning with my mind on freedom & my head feeling like the inside of a prune ... am planning to lecture today on police brutality. come if you can get away. see you when you arrive. write me when you're coming

your friend, homer the slut

/obscure????
 
carmody
2007-01-12 4:34:54 PM  
How many Dylan bashers in this thread were actually listening to music when Bob's first records came out?

Out of context it's easy to underestimate his influence.
 
soon2BheadDoc
2007-01-12 4:39:09 PM  
Anyone hear that song by Dylan; "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ"? That one was my fav!
 
slag
2007-01-12 4:40:56 PM  
Dylan is brilliant, and Simon Cowell is an idiot.

It is that clear cut.
 
sn0
2007-01-12 5:09:21 PM  
Who the hell is Simon Cowell?
 
Valdes
2007-01-12 5:23:27 PM  
Bob Dylan's son is more talented than all of Simon Cowell's bastard children put together.
 
Valdes
2007-01-12 5:24:15 PM  
Bob Dylan's son is also more successful than all of Simon Cowell's bastard "talent" put together.
 
FriarTuck
2007-01-12 6:07:04 PM  
Dylan is a lot of things, a poet, a rocker, a rogue, a jew, a christian, a junkie, a nashville cowboy, a brilliant songwriter, incoherant filmmaker, off key....but he ISNT boring.


Simon Cowell and the A.I. crew, OTOH, are very boring. Every singer on his show who oversings from her gut is 'the next Aretha'. Gimme a break. You have a show of glorified karoke where you own their musicial contracts after they win.

The only thing I have nice to say about Cowell is that he's a shrewd businessman.
 
First Post
2007-01-12 7:48:28 PM  
On the other hand, he told Playboy that inaugural champ Kelly Clarkson is "a young Aretha Franklin

I remember that one time on the show when he said that Aretha
wouldn't have made it on AI (mostly because of her looks).

In other words, "Don't expect integrity or timeless talent from our show."

Except William Hung, of course. And it galled Simon that he was successful.
 
Digitalstrange
2007-01-12 7:52:59 PM  
Darkslide

You can't even compare the two.

True Dylan writes great music, but can't sing for shiat

Kelly Clarkson sings beautifully but doesnt write music.

So get Dylan to pen songs for Kelly Clarkson and we will all be happy.
 
ilovetacos
2007-01-12 8:58:59 PM  
Dylan, great poet, piece of crap musician. Hippies should not play music.
 
Hibno
2007-01-12 9:46:44 PM  
Simon Cowell has no taste.

Kelly Clarkson is a flash in the pan. Aretha would kick the crap out of her.
 
AaaPha
2007-01-13 1:03:20 PM  
Speaking as an Englishman, I'd just like to say to my American friends that I'm so, so terribly sorry about Simon Cowell. Really, I mean I know we've done some crappy things over the years, but producing Cowell and letting him loose on the world has to rate as one of the worst. I'm sorry, I really am.

Can't stand Dylan though. But still. Sorry.
 
theurge14
2007-01-13 3:08:24 PM  
If you doubt the genius of Bob Dylan, just buy any issue of the Rolling Stone, any decade, and they'll be sure to tell you at least 10 times between the front and back cover.
 
theurge14
2007-01-13 3:12:47 PM  
AaaPha: Speaking as an Englishman, I'd just like to say to my American friends that I'm so, so terribly sorry about Simon Cowell. Really, I mean I know we've done some crappy things over the years, but producing Cowell and letting him loose on the world has to rate as one of the worst. I'm sorry, I really am.

No apology necessary my English friend. I've avoided the show for years on principle. Your country has given me Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Radiohead and Blackadder. That more than makes up for it and then some.
 
SumoJeb [OhFark]
2007-01-13 3:59:31 PM  
Dylan is one of the mighty music gods that has the power to smite the evils of 21st century pop music.
 
kittenpole
2007-01-13 7:36:49 PM  
Somehow I doubt that Kelly Clarkson will have a career that spans forty plus years and will still be actively touring and filling houses at 65 years old. Suck that Simon.
 
noahad
2007-01-13 8:45:07 PM  
IMO, Dylan was really an impressive lyricist when he took a break from the preachy culture-centric stuff and just wrote poetry. "Tangled up in Blue" "It's all Over Now, Baby Blue" "Don't Think Twice, It's all Right" and "She's Your Lover Now" are all fairly cotidian and personal sagas or monologues.

But everyone judges music based on a different set of values.

\and my values are better than yours!
 
Electrify
2007-01-13 9:33:35 PM  
After all, it's not news, it's Fark.com
 
mona bone jakon
2007-01-14 3:01:45 AM  
saw him live not too long ago, didn't even play the guitar, played the keyboard, or at least gave the impression that he was, i secretly think he was supporting his weight with it.

willie was there too and his sons, his young sons
 
Stavros
2007-01-14 12:25:26 PM  
Personally, I think Dylan is an incomparable genius - but if you don't, perhaps at least you can understand why there are those of us that do.

I doubt anybody has ever thought that about Simon Cowell. His opinion about actual music is completely worthless, so he should just stick to what he does incredibly well - marketing bland rubbish to people who don't really like music, and generally being an insufferable turd.
 
TrickyPG
2007-01-14 2:50:06 PM  
mona bone jakon

Arthritis. The last decade has not been kind to his ability to play the guitar.
 
Darth_Lukecash
2007-01-14 4:38:18 PM  
The point of Bob Dylan is not that he's a great muscian.

He's a great songwritter.

ANYONE can sing a song he wrote...its up to their interpetation.
 
TwoWordReview
2007-01-16 11:38:51 AM  
Sure Dylan rhymes a lot, and the words he rhymes are generally common as muck, but it's the rest of the line leading up to that rhyme that makes him a genius!
 
vile_cracker
2007-01-16 3:53:31 PM  
[image from i14.photobucket.com too old to be available]

Stavros, agreed.
 
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