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(USA Today)   USA Today columnist: "All my predictions for 2006 were wrong. So here are my predictions for 2007"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
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14015 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2006 at 3:52 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



64 Comments     (+0 »)


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JabbaTheButt
2006-12-31 3:53:40 PM  
I predict a bunch of loser libs will complain on FARK.
 
orbital42
2006-12-31 3:53:46 PM  
i'm going to make all the same new years resolutions i made last year.

i figure with a little experience and practice i can keep them this year
 
The Glass Dragon
2006-12-31 3:56:23 PM  
I predict I still won't be getting laid any time soon.
 
ELKAY
2006-12-31 3:56:41 PM  
My prediction for 2007: Hell will become full and the dead will walk the Earth seeking to consume human flesh.
 
mdbirt
2006-12-31 3:59:53 PM  
Here's my prediction for 2008:

American idiots will yet again elect one of their own into presidential office just because he seems like an OK guy!
 
jman11jman
2006-12-31 4:00:12 PM  
So, if his prediction from last year is anything to go by then 2007 should be a pretty good one. That whole Iraq mess is going to be sorted out. Less troops, less deaths. Sounds nice.
 
RfromP
2006-12-31 4:01:40 PM  
Top Ten Dumb Guy Hopes For The New Year


10. More movies with car chases and banjo music

9. Other foods besides cheese available in whiz form

8. Michael Jordan makes his long-awaited return to baseball

7. Bring back that "Who Lets The Dogs Out?" song -- that was genius

6. "Pizza on earth"

5. Somebody invent a thing to get whiskers off my face so I don't have to pluck them one-by-one with tweezers

4. An affordable monkey

3. Who cares -- it's only September

2. Five words: "Dude, Where's My Other Car?"

1. Oprah will invite me to appear on her show

Thanks Dave
 
The Billdozer
2006-12-31 4:02:34 PM  
I predict anytime anything that happens that is a major positive for the people of Iraq or on the WOT, ESPN will run yet another special on Pat Tillman to prove how they too can be a propaganda machine.
 
Omegamerc
2006-12-31 4:02:44 PM  
I predict I will be getting laid soon.

/sucks for glass
 
SonicReducr
2006-12-31 4:17:11 PM  
You only gots to be right once.
 
MisterBill [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2006-12-31 4:19:00 PM  
I predict every time there's another atrocity committed or yet another civil or human right is violated by the Bush administration, Fox News and various troglodytes on Fark will scream "Stay the course! Cut and run! Libtards! Sore Loserman!"
 
Chimpy McFlightsuit
2006-12-31 4:21:08 PM  
5. Somebody invent a thing to get whiskers off my face so I don't have to pluck them one-by-one with tweezers

[image from fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg too old to be available]

wtf?
 
Oldiron_79
2006-12-31 4:23:45 PM  
My predction, the partisan hacks will be so busy trying to talk smack to one another, that they won't even notice when the Mother ship lands and proclaims that "all your base are belong to us"
 
Chelsea Clinton Is Carrot Top's Lost Twin
2006-12-31 4:24:18 PM  
JabbaTheButt: I predict a bunch of loser libs will complain on FARK.

[image from fusionanomaly.net too old to be available]
your troll-fu is weak, young grasshopper...
 
Oldiron_79
2006-12-31 4:25:26 PM  
I for one would like to Welome the new overlords mentioned in my Boobies as long as they don't divide themselves into just 2 parties
 
Canadian Canuck
2006-12-31 4:25:39 PM  
JabbaTheButt

I predict that the right-wingers will make the libs suck it even more!
 
CHAZZZ
2006-12-31 4:26:48 PM  
I predict our fearless leader will bring peace to the middle east.
 
natewill
2006-12-31 4:30:37 PM  
I predict that wearing onions on belts will become fashionable again.
 
Bon_Scott
2006-12-31 4:30:46 PM  
"I predict painnnnn!"

[image from publius.mu.nu too old to be available]
 
Chimpy McFlightsuit
2006-12-31 4:31:38 PM  
Oldiron_79 [TotalFark]

I for one would like to Welome the new overlords mentioned in my Boobies as long as they don't divide themselves into just 2 parties

I can't wait to say "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos"
 
Semper Fi Wifey
2006-12-31 4:31:40 PM  
Hmm...I will also go with the prediction that I won't be getting laid anytime soon

/another reason to hate this f'ing war

//support the troops!
 
interruptive_cow
2006-12-31 4:32:33 PM  
Why is it liberals can't go four seconds without bringing up politics? Is this columnist completely unaware that she/he could make predictions about things other than the war in Iraq? I guess I'm just sick of hearing about it.

Liberal: "Bush is a moran, except when he's diabolically trying to take over the planet! Millions are dying in Iraq, all of them either women or children or both!"

Grocery store guy: "Ma'am, all I asked was paper or plastic...please get down off the conveyor belt."

Liberal: "CONSERVATIVE NAZI!"

Grocery store guy: *suffocates himself with a plastic grocery bag*

/Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of flame!
 
Maccabree'sDance
2006-12-31 4:37:04 PM  
Who is that butthole? He can't even predict the present:

"Iraqi civilian deaths, now estimated to be in the tens of thousands, will increase dramatically as the civil war expands."

No, dude. It's now estimated to be six HUNDRED thousand Iraqi civilian deaths, with another 1.2 million having left the country as refugees. Compare those figures to those of a certain dead dictator and you should start to feel a little queasy.

600,000
1.2 million
 
CHAZZZ
2006-12-31 4:39:29 PM  
Maccabree'sDance: No, dude. It's now estimated to be six HUNDRED thousand Iraqi civilian deaths, with another 1.2 million having left the country as refugees. Compare those figures to those of a certain dead dictator and you should start to feel a little queasy.

We liberated them from their lives.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-12-31 4:40:19 PM  
RfromP: Other foods besides cheese available in whiz form

Hmm. "Steak Whiz." "Chips Whiz." "Pretzel Whiz." "Beer Whiz." "Sushi Whiz."

Nope. Not workin' for me. Sounds too much like space food.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-12-31 4:41:37 PM  
Oldiron_79: the new overlords mentioned in my Boobies

Filter PWNED!
 
Alex Chilton
2006-12-31 4:42:42 PM  
interruptive_cow

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-12-31 4:45:54 PM  
Maccabree'sDance: It's now estimated to be six HUNDRED thousand Iraqi civilian deaths

I call bullshiat. Even the article you link to says this estimate would require quadruple the highest number of deaths per month ever recorded.

Last year they were tossing around the 100K figure, which even the "researchers" who produced it admitted was a bit shaky: they estimated somewhere between 8,000 and 194,000 civilian deaths in Iraq. Nice going, guys--that's a error margin of more than 97 percent.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-12-31 4:48:06 PM  
Alex Chilton: What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.

Really? You mean you haven't noticed how liberals can't decide whether Bush is an idiot or a diabolical genius?

And given the outrage over the Curious George books last year, I'd say some lib/green flipping out over the paper-or-plastic question ain't too much of a stretch.
 
CHAZZZ
2006-12-31 4:48:21 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin: Nice going, guys--that's a error margin of more than 97 percent


Kind of fits with the whole Iraq debacle.
 
bingethinker [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2006-12-31 4:52:17 PM  
Why does anybody pay attention to anything in USA Today? It's the newspaper for people who don't read. Was there a big colorful pie chart?

/mmm... pie
 
Bon_Scott
2006-12-31 4:52:59 PM  
Maccabree'sDance: It's now estimated to be six HUNDRED thousand Iraqi civilian deaths

I predict that a small minority will have bought the 600k estimate that was universally panned by the media and both sides of the aisle.


/I'm against the war.
 
Bon_Scott
2006-12-31 4:55:23 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin:

Alex Chilton: What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard.

Really? You mean you haven't noticed how liberals can't decide whether Bush is an idiot or a diabolical genius?

I'd say the general consensus is that he's a diabolical idiot.
 
CHAZZZ
2006-12-31 4:57:40 PM  
Bon_Scott: I'd say the general consensus is that he's a diabolical idiot.

I say he is stubborn and arrogant. I guess refusing to consider different opinions could qualify you as a idiot.
 
greaser_77
2006-12-31 4:58:04 PM  
I predict more sponsored links and a killer hangover tomorrow.
 
tatsumaki4ryu
2006-12-31 4:59:54 PM  
Maccabree'sDance

Don't get me wrong. I've never been real gung-ho on this war. I thought it was a mistake from the beginning. And it's horrible and obvious that a large amount of Iraqis are dying in horrific circumstances. But weren't the results of that survey proven to be at best dubious? Of what I remember reading, it was very unscientific, it may have counted deaths multiple times, and it possibly included a great amount of deaths that were connected to the war and occupation by at best a stretch.
 
sandantoro
2006-12-31 5:00:08 PM  
i predict my predictions wont be very detailed, leaving myself open for more correct predictions.
 
skifdank
2006-12-31 5:07:01 PM  
[image from necps.org too old to be available]
 
Josu
2006-12-31 5:13:04 PM  
6000 before 4000.
 
Nightjars
2006-12-31 5:14:23 PM  
I predict that more people will try to make misguided predictions about next year.
 
Oldiron_79
2006-12-31 5:16:18 PM  
amn i, i let my gaurd down and got pwn3d by the filter
 
nytmare
2006-12-31 5:17:55 PM  
Dear interruptive_cow

Only the other side ever brings politics into a non-political discussion, right?
 
TheMothership [TotalFark]
2006-12-31 5:18:57 PM  
Oldiron_79: My predction, the partisan hacks will be so busy trying to talk smack to one another, that they won't even notice when the Mother ship lands and proclaims that "all your base are belong to us"

I refuse to land until I come up with a better catchphrase. Y'all will just have to wait.
 
computer wizard
2006-12-31 5:20:01 PM  
Here is my only resolution:

Please VP Cheney, take bush hungting and shoot him in the face!
 
man hands
2006-12-31 5:22:42 PM  
I predict that 40 will be the new 20.
I predict that my kick game will be rediculous.
I predict that I'll bring sexy back.

/big ups to Jay-Z, K-fedex, and JT
 
Mercury Lemonade
2006-12-31 5:22:56 PM  
Submitter: USA Today columnist: "All my predictions for 2006 were wrong. So here are my predictions for 2007"

So, perhaps we can rest assured that none of the predictions of our little anti-Nostradamus will come true this year either. I would certainly like to see less deaths in Iraq.

/Why no by-line?
//Too ashamed to claim that sad, vague little article?
 
Get Roud
2006-12-31 5:25:30 PM  
I predict that the liberals in our government will increase taxes, federal deficit, healthcare costs, tax cuts for the wealthy, and illegal messicans entering this country. Liberals will also screw up the Iraq War by further reducing body armor for the soldiers, staying the course, and extending the soldiers occupation in Iraq.
 
MichaelMoron
2006-12-31 5:26:47 PM  
My prediction:

The new radical leftwing congress will raise everyones taxes.
 
Dinki [recently expired TotalFark]
2006-12-31 5:28:56 PM  
I predict that every prediction by rightwing idiots will be as accurate as all their predictions about Iraq.
 
CHAZZZ
2006-12-31 5:32:31 PM  
I predict a lot of idiots will have faith in some politicians because they have the correct letter in front of their name.
 
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