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(Yahoo)   Stupid: Indian police are so fat they all look like Chief Wiggum. Stupider: The police department offers them extra money to lose weight. Fark: Out of 38,000 cops, 45 take the challenge   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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8177 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2006 at 6:20 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



71 Comments     (+0 »)


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2006-12-20 3:14:30 PM  
mmm exciting news
 
2006-12-20 3:16:41 PM  
Hopefully they're not all going to need to fly somewhere on Air France.
 
2006-12-20 4:41:54 PM  
Perhaps if the carrot doesnt work they should apply the stick, fire every fat man in India if they're still fat come january 2008, they have a year to lose weight, and for the love of god no one tell them about the fat causing bacteria, or whatever that nonsense story was about.
 
2006-12-20 4:42:33 PM  
who kept their weight under 70 kilograms (154 pounds).

That probably has something to do with the low turnout. Is that considered a normal weight in India? I'm a freaking stick and I weigh more than that.
 
2006-12-20 5:29:03 PM  
They probably started gaining all that weight when they stopped fighting the cowboys.
 
2006-12-20 6:24:58 PM  
Not that the Stupid/Fark; bad/Fark headlines are ever funny, but this has to be the worst of them all.
 
2006-12-20 6:25:48 PM  
Good job subby. Fat bashing and racist hatred in one thread. This sure is Fark.
 
2006-12-20 6:26:31 PM  
If every cop lost weight around here............Feed the poor. Not your fat azz.
 
2006-12-20 6:26:32 PM  
Shanrick -

Funny.

And thanks for listing me as "the worlds luckiest person" in your bio.
 
2006-12-20 6:26:37 PM  
Fatty trifecta in play?
 
2006-12-20 6:27:20 PM  
I didn't think they had donut shops over there.
 
2006-12-20 6:27:32 PM  
....I had something funny to say when I clicked onto the thread, but now I forgot it, so...

Eleanor: If you think the Indian police force is out of shape, you oughta check out Mt. St. Helen!
 
2006-12-20 6:27:55 PM  
farking fat people, get a job.
 
2006-12-20 6:29:02 PM  
Whichever mod greenlighted this needs a sense-of-humor transplant. I proudly never get greenlighted. But even I think I am funnier than this codswallop.
 
2006-12-20 6:29:39 PM  
I'm thin. About 118 lbs, tad more than 5'9". I also have a freakishly enormous wang and it looks pretty weird against my thin body but that's neither here not there.

So what I am saying is this: if the butter monsters stopped eating and simply had a vitamin pill and water for say 14 days, would they also not get thin ? I mean why is this so hard ? Why are there ANY fat people ? You just gotta stop stuffing your pie-hole for a few days...right ?
 
2006-12-20 6:30:06 PM  
MMMMMMMM Dooooooonuts!
 
2006-12-20 6:30:41 PM  
thefloyd

Drat, you beat me to it.

[image from img278.imageshack.us too old to be available]

/because one thread isn't enough Cartman...
 
2006-12-20 6:30:57 PM  
Captain Iceballs: Good job subby. Fat bashing and racist hatred in one thread. This sure is Fark.

I get tired of pointing this out to people: it is NOT racist to point out someone's race. Nowhere in the headline did Subby insult the Indian race. They actually are police from India. You fail.
 
2006-12-20 6:31:23 PM  
They just need to add some bacteroidete and firmicute to their chick peas and lentils.
 
2006-12-20 6:31:31 PM  
pstudent12

Nah, you have to pretty much stop stuffing your pie-hole for life, but that's not hard either.
 
2006-12-20 6:32:09 PM  
Could someone bother to explain the headline for those of us who don't get it, please?
 
2006-12-20 6:33:24 PM  
Still no cure for cancer?

Obesity is such an interesting topic. For a flamewar, it's not exactly turning up much heat...

/slow news day.
 
2006-12-20 6:35:01 PM  
Sounds like my dad's plant. They were paying the non-english speakers (in my area's case, Brazilian & Azorean types) to go to ESL classes. It didn't last long, mostly because they were dumb enough to pay them BEFORE they went to the classes. Which, of course, they never did.

Moral of the story: Sometimes no amount of money will pay people to stop being stupid.
 
2006-12-20 6:36:28 PM  
0100010: We *did* have a thread closed down today for breaking every rule in the book. There's burnout afoot.

\sorry if i've said too much...
 
2006-12-20 6:37:34 PM  
I work for the Mumbai Police Department, and i'm getting a real kick out of these responses.
 
2006-12-20 6:37:43 PM  
I hear Indian men have small weiners.
Dark, Small, Weiners.
 
2006-12-20 6:38:19 PM  
RamirezTheScot: breaking every rule in the book.

It broke one rule. A fairly obvious one that every first day Farker knows. Don't get too excited.
 
2006-12-20 6:38:56 PM  
EyeHaveRisen: Dark, Small, Weiners.

Look here Joseph Conrad, the description was too much already.
 
2006-12-20 6:40:06 PM  
I'm 6'0" and weighed 155 for years and years, and that was too skinny. I'm 175 now, and that seems normal.

Though th eaverage height in India may be around 5'8", so 154 isn't so far off.
 
2006-12-20 6:41:25 PM  
LadyHawke911

I get tired of pointing this out to people: it is NOT racist to point out someone's race. Nowhere in the headline did Subby insult the Indian race. They actually are police from India. You fail.

No-one asked you to point it out. You're making yourself tired by doing it.

1. I did not say the HEADLINE was racist.
2. I fail to see anything amusing in the article.
3. I fail to see how this got greenlighted.
4. I do think the headline had the makings of a racist and fat bashing THREAD.
5. Mensa focuses on academic intelligence and not common-sense right?
 
2006-12-20 6:47:47 PM  
Can we just bring back smallpox?? I am not a racist and I approve this message.
 
2006-12-20 6:49:18 PM  
Whats wrong with a little good ol'fasioned fat bashing?
 
2006-12-20 6:49:57 PM  
Wait, who said anything about Mensa?

Plus, 154 lbs.....that seems a little light.
 
2006-12-20 6:51:14 PM  
154 lbs? That's some little macaca!

/as ex-Senator Allen would say.
 
2006-12-20 6:52:55 PM  
Cash money isn't always the best incentive. For example, even in the US midwest, lottery ticket sales weren't so hot until they offered a brand new top of the line pickup truck as the grand prize.

Turns out people valued the pickup truck far more than the cash you would need to buy one. Go figure.

So what they need to do is to find out what motivates these cops. Maybe they would like to meet with some Bollywood actress, or something like that.
 
2006-12-20 6:54:51 PM  
Dude, 154 pounds? For $5.50/month? No wonder they don't have any takers.
 
2006-12-20 6:56:28 PM  
They are only offering these cops an extra $5.50 a month. That won't even buy you an extra doughnut a day!
 
2006-12-20 6:59:37 PM  
I'm evidently the only one who RTFA. The bonus was a whopping $5.50 a month.

This just in: Indian police smarter than smitty!
 
2006-12-20 7:01:10 PM  
ok, now the article-readers are out en masse. That's what I get for taking 5 minutes to type 2 lines.
 
2006-12-20 7:01:55 PM  
jtown

When you take into account that the average income in India is around $500 per year, that $5.50 per month suddenly seems like more. That's about a 13% pay increase to lose weight.
 
2006-12-20 7:05:01 PM  
Funkmaster Frank: Could someone bother to explain the headline for those of us who don't get it, please?

If only there were some way to read the same story the submitter did, the one that inspired the headline.
 
2006-12-20 7:08:19 PM  
Also, Indians are generally shorter and thinner than Americans. (Everyone is generally thinner than Americans except maybe Samoans)

So 154 lbs. is about = to 180 lbs here maybe. In terms of average male weight, not like earth vs. the moon.

And $5.50 buys a lot more there than here. they should have said what it was in terms of % of their monthly salary. Maybe like getting $25 extra per month here. Depends on what goods you're talking about, for food it goes a long way, but food is what they'd have to avoid to get the bonus, so, catch-22.
 
2006-12-20 7:09:23 PM  
1. They dont need to run fast. They have guns n tazers.
2. Donuts taste good.
 
2006-12-20 7:12:17 PM  
2006-12-20 07:01:55 PM LadyHawke911

jtown

When you take into account that the average income in India is around $500 per year, that $5.50 per month suddenly seems like more. That's about a 13% pay increase to lose weight.


It only matters what the income for a cop is. Since the average includes hundreds of millions of people in poverty, I'd guess a cop makes considerably more than the average.
 
2006-12-20 7:15:18 PM  
Captain Iceballs: 1. I did not say the HEADLINE was racist.

See No. 4 on your own list.

2. I fail to see anything amusing in the article.

Perhaps this will help (click to order):

[image from ec2.images-amazon.com too old to be available]

3. I fail to see how this got greenlighted.

Well, they have these guys called "Admins" who choose headlines they like and greelight them.

It's kind of technical.

4. I do think the headline had the makings of a racist and fat bashing THREAD.

Is it the thread you don't like, or the headline?

5. Mensa focuses on academic intelligence and not common-sense right?

This is a hyphen: -

This is an em dash: -

Two hyphens can stand in for an em dash in a pinch: --
 
2006-12-20 7:18:14 PM  
They didn't look too fat to me.

[image from home.comcast.net too old to be available]
[image from home.comcast.net too old to be available]

/A couple of photos I took last month in Bangalore and Agra.
 
2006-12-20 7:21:15 PM  
untrustworthy: They didn't look too fat to me.

What could be more comforting than seeing a cop reading a newspaper after propping his AK-47 against the wall about 5 feet away?
 
2006-12-20 7:24:21 PM  
MyNameIsNotMervGriffin

You tryin to pork ladyhawke911 ???
 
2006-12-20 7:28:09 PM  
Captain Iceballs: You tryin to pork ladyhawke911 ???

/looks at No. 1 on list in Anon-DIT
//looks at Captain Iceballs' profile
///profit!
 
2006-12-20 7:28:45 PM  
Captain Iceballs: You tryin to pork ladyhawke911 ???

Answer No. 2: Huh?
 
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