Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Scientists determine that women talk three times as much as men. Apparently, they stopped counting at three   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

5319 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 28 Nov 2006 at 11:14 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



171 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2006-11-28 8:07:08 AM  
Nah, the male scientists just stopped paying attention at three.
 
2006-11-28 8:12:43 AM  
The funny thing is, while women *TALK* three times as much as men, they don't really communicate three times as much information. Thus, a lot of what they say is either redundant or null data.

That is why our eyes glaze over, and we say "yes, dear".
 
2006-11-28 8:20:32 AM  
dittybopper: Thus, a lot of what they say is either redundant or null data.
That is why our eyes glaze over, and we say "yes, dear".


That's not something that's unique to women only. On occasion my hubby decides he wants to tell me all about his last raid on WoW, and as soon as I hear the words "Oh, on the game today..." my eyes unfocus and I go to my happy place. But, in any case, they get to say what they want to say, and they think you listened but you just got 30 mins to go into your own little world, and everyone is happy.
 
2006-11-28 8:54:22 AM  
I completely believe this.

But you know how people always throw out the stat about "women use three times the vocabulary of men in a given day"? I call Bolshevik. In my 28 years on earth, I have never found women to be the more concise gender, which is basically the entire functional point of having a large vocabulary. Hence the need to talk three times as much. It's inefficiency and redundancy.
 
2006-11-28 9:07:26 AM  
because we have to repeat everything we say to them 3 damn times.
 
2006-11-28 9:17:19 AM  
RedEyedAries: because we have to repeat everything we say to them 3 damn times.

I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention.
 
2006-11-28 9:33:32 AM  
Yes Dear.
 
2006-11-28 9:46:32 AM  
Women = Blah blah blah.

Men = Blah.

Either way, it's just "blah."
 
2006-11-28 10:11:30 AM  
RedEyedAries: because we have to repeat everything we say to them 3 damn times.

If y'all would stop dancing around the damn point...
 
2006-11-28 11:16:15 AM  
Now THAT is funny.
 
2006-11-28 11:17:03 AM  
Take all your clothes off and we will pay rapt attention to whatever you are saying.
 
2006-11-28 11:17:25 AM  
*folds paper planes and boats while listening to subby's mom
 
2006-11-28 11:17:27 AM  
Advice for genders:

Women: Dont talk to use while we're playing games, watching sports and fixing things.

Fellas: Dont talk to women just before they're on the rag. It's not pretty.

There. Now everyone's happy!
 
2006-11-28 11:17:27 AM  
I saw something about this on 20/20 weeks back - they said the female brain releases a chemical like endorphins when talking, so the vimens actually catch a buzz by yapping so much. Eventually they will evolve where their tongues are hung in the middle so they can flap on both ends...
 
2006-11-28 11:18:00 AM  
And, if that wasn't enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.

This explains so much. Women are addicted to talking.
 
2006-11-28 11:18:18 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff: I have never found women to be the more concise gender, which is basically the entire functional point of having a large vocabulary.

Not necessarily.

An extensive vocabulary is essential for, exempla gratia, poetry--especially lyrical poetry.
 
2006-11-28 11:18:54 AM  
bump: Eventually they will evolve where their tongues are hung in the middle so they can flap on both ends...

That can only be a good development for the BJ industry.
 
2006-11-28 11:19:31 AM  
Mmmm? Errr... Terracotta.
 
2006-11-28 11:20:33 AM  
And they actually *communicate* less...

All those words - so few concepts conveyed. You can keep a woman yapping for hours with just three simple responses:

"Really?

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Um hmm."

I learned this from a female hairdresser who had to pretend listen to her clients' incessant jabbering all day long. With these three simple phrases, the women in the chair felt they were having a pleasant two-way conversation.

dw
 
2006-11-28 11:20:42 AM  
bump: Eventually they will evolve where their tongues are hung in the middle so they can flap on both ends...


Oh no you din't! Awesome...and...funny.

A corrolary to this study found that men were done communicating by 5pm, and women get done around 11:00pm. That is where the extra communicating comes in. Once men are done, the women feel the need to fill the yap.
 
2006-11-28 11:20:48 AM  
RedEyedAries:

Yeah but you dont seem to realize it wasnt worth saying in the first place.
 
2006-11-28 11:21:51 AM  
I thought it just felt like three times as long. My wife's stories take longer for her to tell than the actual event being described.
 
2006-11-28 11:22:45 AM  
That's because they speak using whatever data is in their RAM chip instead of taking the time to hit their hard drive. That's always going to be faster.
 
2006-11-28 11:23:41 AM  
Man, I just don't understand people (men or women, doesn't matter), who can't stop talking. Twenty-four hours a day, every time I seen them, something's coming out of their mouths. Regardless of what's going on around them, regardless of having nothing of any remote value to say, they can't shut their pie holes. Yap, yap, yap all the damn time.

Douglas Adams had something to say about this issue...

At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he tought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains might start working.
 
2006-11-28 11:24:17 AM  
muninsfire
An extensive vocabulary is essential for, exempla gratia, poetry--especially lyrical poetry.

And scrabble... don't forget scrabble... I farking hate it that my wife keeps beating me in scrabble.

/and English isn't even her first language!
 
2006-11-28 11:25:42 AM  
dittybopper: The funny thing is, while women *TALK* three times as much as men, they don't really communicate three times as much information. Thus, a lot of what they say is either redundant or null data.

That is why our eyes glaze over, and we say "yes, dear".


Exactly. That concept is illustrated in this 30 second video
 
2006-11-28 11:25:56 AM  
miscreant

Mail order bride?
 
2006-11-28 11:27:25 AM  
astrahl
Mail order bride?

Heh, no. If they're mail order you can return them if they talk too much right?
 
2006-11-28 11:29:51 AM  
I win. I can listen for hours. ^_^
(girlfriend talks more than most)
 
2006-11-28 11:30:19 AM  
Gotta be way more than that. Anyone who has ever gone on a long car ride with a woman would know that.
 
2006-11-28 11:30:27 AM  
Some women may talk too much but it is all about the POP.
 
2006-11-28 11:30:28 AM  
astrahl
Mail order bride?

Heh, no. If they're mail order you can return them if they talk too much right?


That can be tricky since one of the first words they learn in English is "Half!"
 
2006-11-28 11:31:34 AM  
I'm inclined to agree with this study. I say stupid, meaningless shiat all the time. It doesn't really take me longer to say unless I'm suffering from ADD or under the influence, but I definitely talk more than most of my guy friends.
 
2006-11-28 11:34:09 AM  
"Already available in the US, The Female Brain will be available in the UK from April."

So European women are going to give the brain thing a shot huh? And who is this "April" that will be distributing these brains?!
 
2006-11-28 11:34:51 AM  
Three fastest forms of communication:
Television
Telephone
Tell-a-girl
 
2006-11-28 11:37:57 AM  
RedEyedAries: because we have to repeat everything we say to them 3 damn times.

d'Ahhhhh....What?
 
2006-11-28 11:39:10 AM  
Women's social networks depend upon talking and sharing issues extensively with others.

Men's social networks depend on doing, competing, and fixing issues for others. This usually requires very little communication.

gross over-generalization>

Seriously though, it seems to me everything is old hat to men that we have to talk about. I usually don't even have to complete a four-sentence little story before someone pipes up with "Yup, I know man... that's total bullshiat." or "That's awesome. Good luck with that." Empathy shared, meaning communicated, mission accomplished.
 
2006-11-28 11:41:25 AM  
chuggernaught
Anyone who has ever gone on a long car ride with a woman would know that.
No doubt. I can drive with a buddy for hours without saying a word and think nothing of it. If there is more then 5 minutes of silence while driving with a woman they start to think you are mad at them. Give it a try. Next time you are driving with a woman do not talk or just give yes/no answers and see how long you can go before she asks "What's wrong?"
 
2006-11-28 11:43:13 AM  
runningesq: I thought it just felt like three times as long. My wife's stories take longer for her to tell than the actual event being described.

Heh. My wife routinely forgets what story she is telling because she gets stuck on a tangent about what someone was wearing or some other detail THAT DOESN'T PERTAIN TO THE STORY!

There just doesn't seem to be any priority rating in her head as to whether she should include the info or not - she just tosses everything in there. We've been married seven years and when she tells our engagement story, she still mentions that I broke my shoelace two days before we got engaged. It adds absolutely nothing, NOTHING, to the story. It didn't change when we got engaged, how we got engaged, nada. Yet she will still interrupt me when I'm telling the story to point out that "You forgot to tell them about your broken shoelace."

Ladies, WTF?!!
 
2006-11-28 11:43:32 AM  
Listening to women speak is like torture. It is the worst torture.
 
2006-11-28 11:44:11 AM  
Its not the endless yapping that really gets to me, its the shrieking laughter that gets louder and more shrill the more women are in a group.
 
2006-11-28 11:44:39 AM  
Sample conversation between myself and my husband...

Me: blah blah blah blah blah blah
Him: ...
Me: blah blah blah...are you listening?
Him: No. I'm watching TV.
Me: Okay, I'll catch up with you later.

I know that talking when he's not listening is a waste of effort, and he knows to flat-out tell me when he's not paying attention so I don't get frustrated. We must have communicated somewhere along the way...
 
2006-11-28 11:45:00 AM  
lesliessexxy - Even fresh raspberries picked right off the bush in mid-summer late in the evening after the sun has set but it is still light out? C'mon now.
 
2006-11-28 11:45:59 AM  
nashBridges
You'll miss those details when she forgets them. She actually thought enough of the incident to commit brain cells to remembering it. That should tell you how important that time is to her. Cherish it.
 
2006-11-28 11:47:10 AM  
According to the national institute of studies I can't remember, talking releases the second most endorphins of anything a woman can do, the first being an orgasm. Or maybe that was crack...
 
2006-11-28 11:48:05 AM  
dittybopper
That is why our eyes glaze over, and we say "yes, dear".

"yes, dear" == /dev/null

The problem is that they intersperse important stuff in the data stream. "Blah blah blah, I need you to clean the gutters, blah blah blah." And then six months later she'll ask why you haven't cleaned the gutters.

That's why I make her write down the stuff that needs done that I have to do. Which is currently four 4x6 pages, front and back.

\Just cause it's written down doesn't mean I'll do it.
 
2006-11-28 11:48:11 AM  
Just have her sit so there's a TV on behind her and over her shoulder, nod, smile, etc. Just try not to exclaim, "God, I'd like to fark that!" when a hottie appears on the TV and the GF is talking about her mother.
 
2006-11-28 11:48:31 AM  
nashBridges: Heh. My wife routinely forgets what story she is telling because she gets stuck on a tangent about what someone was wearing or some other detail THAT DOESN'T PERTAIN TO THE STORY!

RedEyedAries: because we have to repeat everything we say to them 3 damn times.


This is going to be fun.
 
2006-11-28 11:48:48 AM  
nashBridges
You'll miss those details when she forgets them. She actually thought enough of the incident to commit brain cells to remembering it. That should tell you how important that time is to her. Cherish it.

Seriously, that was so sweet I now have diabetes

/no farkit at work
 
2006-11-28 11:50:35 AM  
[image from webpages.charter.net too old to be available]
 
Displayed 50 of 171 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.