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(Daily Pilot)   When I think of "two-handed weapon combinations," the first things that pop to my mind are not "golf club and a sword."   (dailypilot.com) divider line
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6714 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2006 at 9:52 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)


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2006-11-23 7:35:43 PM  
Did he have one thousand years of power?
 
2006-11-23 7:49:47 PM  
That's because your thinking patterns are too conventional.
 
2006-11-23 7:54:24 PM  
You need to learn to think outside the box subby

/exits with her cat o' nine tails and field hockey stick
 
2006-11-23 7:55:40 PM  
What can you tell me about a seven foot lunatic hacking away with a broadsword at one o'clock in the morning, New York City, 1985?
 
2006-11-23 8:06:25 PM  
Personally, I prefer a frying pan with my sword. What can I say, I like swords, and the sound/sight of a frying pan against a skull is quite amusing. *thud*
 
2006-11-23 8:24:48 PM  
[image from feerune.online.free.fr too old to be available]
"Amateur."
 
2006-11-23 8:41:24 PM  
[image from ninjazelve.com too old to be available]
this guy thinks it sounds ok.
 
2006-11-23 9:55:17 PM  
There can be only a hole in one!
 
2006-11-23 9:56:23 PM  
Sgt Otter: "Amateur."

Icingdale and Twinkle are hte best
 
2006-11-23 10:01:26 PM  
AutumnSong: her cat o' nine tails and field hockey stick

Your assortment of implements of pain administration intrigues me
 
2006-11-23 10:02:37 PM  
Pah. Try going out every night armed with a 4-foot frozen-solid largemouth bass and a sitar, like I do, then we'll talk.
 
2006-11-23 10:03:04 PM  
shotgun and chainsaw?
 
2006-11-23 10:04:18 PM  
This article misses all the important questions. Such as: What's the DPS on a golf club, and were any enchants involved?
 
2006-11-23 10:05:04 PM  
What about a Desert Eagle .50 and a squirt bottle of lemon juice?
 
2006-11-23 10:05:33 PM  
Stupid article was too ambiguous. I will try not to be so: for two-handed fighting, I will take a .44 Magnum in the right hand, and a .45 Colt in the left.

/Trying to be macho, but in fact I would be running away, throwing guns into bushes as I ran.
 
2006-11-23 10:08:31 PM  
Well, I handle a two-handed weapon just about every night. But I am lonely.
 
2006-11-23 10:09:30 PM  
phrawgh beat me to the concept but here goes nuttin'...

There can only be, fore!
 
2006-11-23 10:10:50 PM  
[image from tonova.lockergnome.net too old to be available]
 
2006-11-23 10:14:58 PM  
DPS nothing, That golf club is too long to be handled as a light weapon, seriously even with ambidexterity and 2 weapon fighting the penalties he's incurring are probably not suitable for a low level player.

I mean I understand having both a slashing and a blunt weapon, but really.....
 
2006-11-23 10:15:05 PM  
Sergent D
Icingdale and Twinkle are hte best
Icingdeath, ICINGDEATH. If you're going to be a nerd, get it right.
/Just outted myself.
//scimiar slashies.
 
2006-11-23 10:17:41 PM  
SamFlagg

DPS nothing, That golf club is too long to be handled as a light weapon, seriously even with ambidexterity and 2 weapon fighting the penalties he's incurring are probably not suitable for a low level player.

I mean I understand having both a slashing and a blunt weapon, but really.....


Maybe he's speccing in sporting goods. ever think of that?

/improved swing 5/5
 
2006-11-23 10:21:46 PM  
AutumnSong: exits with her cat o' nine tails and field hockey stick


Rowr....
 
2006-11-23 10:23:00 PM  
[image from arstechnica.com too old to be available]
 
2006-11-23 10:27:27 PM  
schnee, nanded, those are technically one-handed weapons combos.
 
2006-11-23 10:28:51 PM  
Cricket bat and jock strap. While they stand there laughing I can run and hide.
 
2006-11-23 10:33:40 PM  
Now's the time for a grand theft auto reference.
 
2006-11-23 10:34:52 PM  
I carry a trident and a dead carp.
 
2006-11-23 10:37:07 PM  
SamFlagg:
DPS nothing, That golf club is too long to be handled as a light weapon, seriously even with ambidexterity and 2 weapon fighting the penalties he's incurring are probably not suitable for a low level player.

I mean I understand having both a slashing and a blunt weapon, but really....


You could use the crook of the golf club to snare enemies and hold them within slashing range of the sword. Or you could rely on the fact that all but the most hardened fighters will probably balk at the sight of a screaming maniac with a potentially deadly weapon in each hand.
 
2006-11-23 10:37:11 PM  
Slash and bludgeon, sounds right to me.
 
2006-11-23 10:37:46 PM  
Ronin_S: Now's the time for a grand theft auto reference.

Would you like a cup of hot coffee?

/hur hur hur
//what?
///and technically, saying it's time for a GTA reference is, in fact, referencing GTA. So.. self-fulfilling opinion. :D
 
2006-11-23 10:38:02 PM  
When I think of "two-handed weapon combinations," the first thing that pops to my mind is that I would need 4 hands to hold both weapons.
 
2006-11-23 10:38:59 PM  
He needs a Perds and a CHT.
 
2006-11-23 10:39:08 PM  
a) be proud mr. woo

b) Colt M1911A1 is fun to shoot dual-wield. I've done it. Can't hit the narrow side of a barn at combat range, but the broadside, you bet.
 
2006-11-23 10:39:12 PM  
Details.
Was it a driver or a putter?
Was it a rapier or a claymore?
Detail, pls.
oh, and I've got a brand new pair of roller skaates, for what it's worth.
w00t
 
2006-11-23 10:41:25 PM  
///and technically, saying it's time for a GTA reference is, in fact, referencing GTA. So.. self-fulfilling opinion. :D

Thank you Mr. Obvious.
 
2006-11-23 10:41:51 PM  
vudukungfu
The driver was a rapier.
/what?
//Sweet, roller skaates
 
2006-11-23 10:43:00 PM  
phrawgh stole my joke...

Plagiarizing bastard!
 
2006-11-23 10:45:05 PM  
I can't believe nobody has said:

1) Never bring a golf club to a sword fight,
or
2) Never bring a sword to a round of golf.
 
2006-11-23 10:55:23 PM  
Aluminum cane/crowbar!

If I had my druthers...

Akimbo XML214A miniguns. No, I don't care about the realism.
 
2006-11-23 10:57:01 PM  
AutumnSong: I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

/hockey goalie stick and wakazashi
 
2006-11-23 10:57:24 PM  
Katana/Wakizashi for the win.

/Fark pirates and ninjas
//lamers
///Samurai kick ass
 
2006-11-23 10:59:03 PM  
[image from xbox360asia.com too old to be available]
 
2006-11-23 10:59:04 PM  
yotta
Never bring a sword to a round of golf.

Why not? I can't possibly hit that stupid little ball any worse than I hit it with the club, AND I'd get the satisfaction of slicing the ball in a whole new manner....
 
2006-11-23 10:59:11 PM  
I hope he had the Two Weapon Fighting feat. Otherwise, that's a whopping -6 penalty for his primary hand and a -8 for his offhand. (I'm counting the golfclub as a light weapon.)
 
2006-11-23 11:00:42 PM  
My 16th level fighter/ranger uses a longsword +3 in his main hand, and a shortsword of wounding in his off hand.

I've got a +21, +19, +17 with the longsword, and +17, +15 with the shortsword. 5 attacks a round, not bad.

He just had his red dragonhide full plate armor finished, so now he's got a 29 AC. That, combined with his 168 hit points, makes him both an unstoppable force and an immovable object at the same time. Of course, his INT isn't his highest stat so he probably doesn't get the paradox there.


\at the tail end of a 4 year campaign
\\geek mode off
 
2006-11-23 11:01:15 PM  
Li'l Slugger thinks two-handed weapon combinations are overrated.


[image from animatedbliss.com too old to be available]

 
2006-11-23 11:06:22 PM  
[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]
 
2006-11-23 11:07:55 PM  
I'm going to have to assume that he's got weapon focus on both of them as well, but still this is the worst attempt at power gaming ever... Lets face it, he spent a feat so he doesn't take a neg 4 on improvised weapons, and then both ambidex and two weapon fighting, thats three feats, not to mention weapon focus on not one but two weapons, I mean a fighter build its a bit much. Hell even a ranger, thats still 3 feats to spend even getting two for free in 3.5 edition. Seriously, this man needs a power gaming course.
 
2006-11-23 11:09:42 PM  
That was a weird article, Sailor said. Almost every sentence ends with Sailor said, Sailor said. At least they left no room for mistake, Sailor said.
/Sailor said.
 
2006-11-23 11:13:22 PM  
Iconic D&D Ranger Soveliss thinks golf clubs bend on impact.

[image from wizards.com too old to be available]
 
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