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(Fox News)   "Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love." Finally, some hard-hitting journalism   (foxnews.com) divider line
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12531 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Nov 2006 at 6:46 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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C1ofUnknown
2006-11-17 3:38:22 PM  
Shouldn't the crime be trespassing seeing as how fornication was ruled unconstitutional? So therefore, he shouldn't have to pay the fine for the fornication. Trespassing: yes.
 
el_hueso [TotalFark]
2006-11-17 6:51:14 PM  
"In the butt, Bob".
 
Donald_McRonald
2006-11-17 6:55:28 PM  
The misdemeanor charge of fornication - sex between an unmarried man and women - is still on the books in South Carolina, although the state Supreme Court has ruled the law unconstitutional.

Um, so then how can they charge him for it?
 
Ditto
2006-11-17 6:55:43 PM  
Hard hitting. *snicker*

Yeah, I bet he hit it pretty hard.
 
FukkyMcFuk
2006-11-17 6:56:31 PM  
I remember consummating my love in a dumpster behind my High School after prom, with a rat. I got it to hold still by offering it some of the spiked punch.
 
BassPlayinManiac
2006-11-17 6:57:06 PM  
hmm, see my girlfriend and I consummated our love in her bedroom when her mom was gone, like normal people. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

/has a problem having sex in a house thats not mine.
 
skinink [OhFark]
2006-11-17 6:58:52 PM  
"Knowing his DNA was...left at the scene, the frisky firefighter was forced to confess to his crime, saying the couple had wanted to be the first "to have sex in the mansion.""


They should have thrown him in jail, where his cellmate would be the first to have sex in his bunghole.
 
Kanemano
2006-11-17 7:04:28 PM  
$200 for a fark, should have just gone to a pro.
 
Khaos_Theory
2006-11-17 7:05:27 PM  
off the topic, but what about the monkey in the story below?

'Savage-Rumbaugh said she explained the danger of such mischief and Panbanisha promised not to do it again.'

Monkey's can talk now?
 
vwfst55
2006-11-17 7:06:38 PM  
Heh, that is nothing. I wasn't careful, fell of a roof.
 
dumpstergirl
2006-11-17 7:07:15 PM  
Knowing his DNA was...left at the scene, the frisky firefighter was forced to confess to his crime, saying the couple had wanted to be the first "to have sex in the mansion.

What a fool. What would make them think it was him? Were they going to give a DNA check to any first responded who entered the house, and every guest? Unless someone witnessed the act and recognized him, he was home free. Idiot.

/likes to tresspass
 
pleasuretaco
2006-11-17 7:08:51 PM  
[image from img175.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
hbgdaddy
2006-11-17 7:09:43 PM  
if anyone has purchased a model home in so. cal., my buddy and his wife did it in your house. they're freaky.
 
NinjaFapper [TotalFark]
2006-11-17 7:09:45 PM  
I got caught my first time by a cop. Before I even knew I was caught, my brilliant idea to destroy the evidence was to throw the contaception out the car window. I hit his pants, then drip to the foot. He made me get out of the car - I thought a beat down was imminent - pick up the "trash", and walked me to the nearest dumpster still in my boxers. I got lecture the entire time, then the obligatory "ma'm, was this consetual?"

I would have torched my car just to avoid that.
 
Jawspike
2006-11-17 7:10:17 PM  
SC getting a stain on the Map!
 
Boobies!!!
2006-11-17 7:13:28 PM  
Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love

I'll say "in the ass," Bob.
 
Nakito
2006-11-17 7:13:50 PM  
He confessed because ... why?

Because he feared that some arson investigator was going to notice a semen stain in a burned house? And then analyze it for DNA? And then do what, just decide to take semen samples from the members of the fire department to see if any of them, by chance, had left that stain? Or check it against some database of fireman semen that they just happend to have on file somewhere? And that as a result, they would figure out that one of the firemen who put out the fire had previously had sex in the house?

"No, don't bother, I know you've got me, I confess, that was my stain."

I'm so confused.
 
excusemesenator
2006-11-17 7:15:03 PM  
"the crime of fornication"

Seriously? What the frig is this, Saudi Arabia?
 
farktimenow
2006-11-17 7:15:19 PM  
I didn't know fireman gave their employer a DNA sample.
 
kirbeep
2006-11-17 7:19:16 PM  
I didn't know fireman gave their employer a DNA sample.

Obviously you don't visit the same web sites I do.
 
smeegle
2006-11-17 7:22:12 PM  
But given the circumstances of the entrance, the police determined that the real crime was fornication.


He poke her -
now it a smoker.
 
BassPlayinManiac
2006-11-17 7:27:48 PM  
so I think we should just turn this into a thread about who we would like to consummate or love with... I'll go first
[image from i80.photobucket.com too old to be available]
mmmm liv tyler... *Drool* probably about 100 more women, but this will do.
 
zerkalo
2006-11-17 7:27:58 PM  
Was miscegnation involved? Cuz, you better beleive that's a paddlin' in SC
 
Mr. Xhin
2006-11-17 7:30:46 PM  
The weirdest place I ever consumated my love...was in the ass.

[image from dvdfuture.com too old to be available]
 
BassPlayinManiac
2006-11-17 7:37:05 PM  
[image from i80.photobucket.com too old to be available]
just for your information.
 
gottabekiddinme
2006-11-17 7:40:40 PM  
dumpstergirl: Way to trespass. Fan myself.

Also: like they'd DNA test the house for arsonists. CSI notwithstanding, there's a dearth of actual forensics labs these days.

/geneticist
 
Saul Good
2006-11-17 7:42:06 PM  
"Fornication still on the books."

LOL LOL LOL...Backward assed farking eejit Jesustanians.
 
notmyrealemail
2006-11-17 7:45:01 PM  
Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love, Eugene.
 
Corporate Mofo [TotalFark]
2006-11-17 7:54:54 PM  
In the butt.
 
Hactar42
2006-11-17 8:02:35 PM  
NinjaFapper That's really funny. I bet you're still dealing with the emotional repercussions from that.
 
Redsrevenge
2006-11-17 8:03:16 PM  
That sounds like a great name for a shiatty-yet-catchy single.

/Careful Where You Choose (To Consummate Your Love)
//baby.
 
No Such Agency
2006-11-17 8:04:36 PM  
BassPlayinManiac:
so I think we should just turn this into a thread about who we would like to consummate or love with...

[image from missioncontrol-fx.co.uk too old to be available]
 
Clarity
2006-11-17 8:05:03 PM  
*giggle* that I think is funny.. ...that's what you get...then again... ...everyone will be laughing about it later.. ...haha *rock on* way to go firefighter!!!
 
No Such Agency
2006-11-17 8:06:40 PM  
Oops wrong pic! :O I meant

[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]
 
BassPlayinManiac
2006-11-17 8:12:40 PM  
clarity... *shutters*. not funny.

/ew
 
Bon_Scott
2006-11-17 8:13:57 PM  
I guess they found that blonde in Aruba.
 
BassPlayinManiac
2006-11-17 8:18:10 PM  
Bon_Scott: no shiat?
 
The Shiny
2006-11-17 8:23:34 PM  
Donald_McRonald: "The misdemeanor charge of fornication - sex between an unmarried man and women - is still on the books in South Carolina, although the state Supreme Court has ruled the law unconstitutional.

Um, so then how can they charge him for it?"

Well, I don't know South Carolina's constitution, but if it's like the US constitution, then the Supreme Court has no right to decide what is and is not a law.

Therefore, Supreme Court can say whatever it wants, but if the Congress doesn't pass legislation repealing the law, it's still law.

/Know's maybe too much about The Constitution
 
Somacandra [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2006-11-17 8:23:38 PM  
With a canteloupe, Bob.
 
quisph
2006-11-17 8:24:32 PM  
"Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love."

Syphilis kindly asks you to ignore this advice.
 
Ken_B
2006-11-17 8:26:39 PM  
Wonder what impact that had on the home's price, unless it was pre-bought.
 
21-7-b
2006-11-17 8:31:38 PM  
i'm pretty caned and i can't follow what's going on. there's a fireman and someone else and a writer who looks like he or she used to write british comedy films of the 60s, then it says 'Story continues below' and there's a friggin monkey in there as well. has someone farked the monkey? was the monkey watching? were they in the monkey house at the zoo? what is it, carry-on up the farkin monkey?
 
mofomisfit
2006-11-17 8:32:11 PM  
Careful Where You Choose to Consummate Your Love, Eugene.

A Small Group Of Furry Animals In A Cave Choosing To Consummate Their Love With Picts?
 
dumpstergirl
2006-11-17 8:36:01 PM  
Well, I don't know South Carolina's constitution, but if it's like the US constitution, then the Supreme Court has no right to decide what is and is not a law.

Ow. Please tell me this is irony. Please.

If a law violates the constitution, the Supreme Court can rule it unconstitutional. They can not write or edit laws, that is Legislative only. Checks and balances, ftw!
 
mofomisfit
2006-11-17 8:37:33 PM  
err

Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Choosing To Consummate Their Love With A Pict.

yeah.
 
Somacandra [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2006-11-17 8:38:30 PM  
"And we'll meet a woman from Omaha who's hiding a banana--we'll find out where."

[image from images.google.com too old to be available]

giggity giggity, giggity goo.
 
Somacandra [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2006-11-17 8:39:24 PM  
mofomisfit

+1 for the Ummagumma reference.
 
JonBonham
2006-11-17 8:40:52 PM  
dumpstergirl "they can not write or edit laws, that is Legislative only. Checks and balances, ftw!"

Umm, judge-made law is law. All they need is a case or controversy and they can make laws. They just aren't statues, like legislature, which is what you were probably talking about...
/not to be a dick...
 
mofomisfit
2006-11-17 8:41:26 PM  
If a law violates the constitution, the Supreme Court can rule it unconstitutional. They can not write or edit laws, that is Legislative only. Checks and balances, ftw!

Yes, but since law (being ruled on in courtrooms, not the actual code given by legislative bodies) is comprised of said coded legislation as well as precedent, a law deemed unconstitutional would be given almost no weight in a courtroom. This man could fight the charge and he'd almost certainly prevail. My guess is that for him paying the fine is easier than the alternative of going to court over it.
 
mofomisfit
2006-11-17 8:42:50 PM  
Well, thanks, but notmyrealemail deserves kudos for the original reference!

/where's i love this thread kitty?
 
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