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(Treat?)   A sure-fire way to have your house egged this Halloween   (wikihow.com) divider line
    More: PSA  
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33796 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2006 at 12:34 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



195 Comments     (+0 »)


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2006-10-30 12:34:03 AM  
I give out a small box of raisins AND a chocolate bar.
So suck it.
 
2006-10-30 12:38:21 AM  
Wow. Egging is right. I hate people.
 
2006-10-30 12:39:32 AM  
I've eaten all the good candy that I bought to hand out. Trick or traters are getting the Dots, Lemon Tootsie Rolls, & generic hard candy.
 
2006-10-30 12:39:54 AM  
Bundle little pretzels in cellophane

Different flavors of popcorn - tie in small cellophane bags with ribbon

Hand out individual homemade fruit sweetened cookies


Isn't it considered wrong to hand out stuff that isn't pre-packaged? They already mentioned the 'pins in the fruit' deal that freaked so many people out, so why would homemade cookies be any less suspicious?
 
2006-10-30 12:39:57 AM  
I thought kids aren't suppose to eat stuff that is hand wrapped? What a waste of time for something that most kids don't want, and most parents won't let em have anyways.
 
2006-10-30 12:40:22 AM  
No trick-or-treaters where we live.

Ain't it great?
 
2006-10-30 12:40:48 AM  
strapped for cash? Make a sign that says "Please take one piece only!!!!" then leave it out with an empty bowl.
 
2006-10-30 12:40:59 AM  
Raisins? To kids?
 
2006-10-30 12:41:42 AM  
I see what you did thar subby.
Lmfao
 
2006-10-30 12:41:57 AM  
I just shout "NO TREAT FOR YOU!!" in a voice similar to the one a drill sergeant might use to yell at a recruit, and then I slam the door as hard as I can.
 
2006-10-30 12:42:17 AM  
When I was trick or treating my mom would check our bags before we ate anything. If it was homemade, it went straight to the trash.

This was a long time ago, back when stories about razor blades in apples started circulating.

What? Get the fark off my lawn!
 
2006-10-30 12:42:47 AM  
Frantic Freddie

No trick-or-treaters where we live.

Ain't it great?


Well, no, not really. How else can you scar dozens of small children for life by jumping out from underneath a cardboard box in front if their parents, and get away with it?
 
2006-10-30 12:42:51 AM  
I like to give out travel-sized Nyquil and NAMBLA pamphlets.
 
2006-10-30 12:43:34 AM  
I'm making popcorn balls for the neighbor's kids tomorrow night...

And the other half will be sitting out on Tuesday afternoon/night with the candy bowl, making sure each of the little brats only takes one piece (depending on how many kids we get). Me? I'll be scaring the shiat out of the older kids..

/Halloween is my Christmas
 
2006-10-30 12:43:48 AM  
Boxed raisins are usually coated with enough sugar to pretty much make them candy.
 
2006-10-30 12:44:30 AM  
Has anyone ever heard of someone getting a pin in their apple? Just asking. You hear all kinds of warnings, but I've never heard of it happening.
 
2006-10-30 12:44:37 AM  
I bought my candy today. Bag of chocolate, two bags of dum dums.

/maybe 1-2 kids come to my door each year, so they get hooked up

/leftovers end up in a tray in my office

/tray is stocked year round, due to a combined effort between 3 folks in our office
 
2006-10-30 12:44:52 AM  
These people would have hell brought upon their houses in the form of eggs, toilet paper, bags of poo on fire, and paintballs.
 
2006-10-30 12:46:45 AM  
Screw the little bastards, when I was a kid I didn't get halloween candies.

I have some nice weapons to take care of any jack ass kids who get mad they don't get candies.

When you are old enough to egg a house for not getting candies is when you are old enough to not get candies, and to work too. You spoiled yuppy brats.

I have some nice paintball guns for first time offenders, repeat offenders get a nice salt rock peppering, third time I say you were a threat to me and my family and level your ass with a .44 s&w, double barrel, or a 30-06.
 
2006-10-30 12:46:48 AM  
fark that, I serve good stuff.

Like Kobe beef cut off of a live sedated Wagyu, I don't really like candy
 
2006-10-30 12:47:27 AM  
FTFA: Be warned that some children will NOT appreciate most of these attempts. The parents may love you, but the children may skip going to the house that gave them toothbrushes.

Dude, I'm not a parent - but I'd encourage my kids to skip the house giving these away. Seriously. Halloween is all about the candy - and how we older people get to take the candy away from the younger ones.
 
2006-10-30 12:47:34 AM  
I give them bacon. Everyone loves bacon.
 
2006-10-30 12:48:02 AM  
WaffenSS--Why not just beat them up with your fists? Scared of little kids?

(the traps are so they can't run away either)
 
2006-10-30 12:48:02 AM  
any household that gave me something like popcorn in a bag or animal crackers wrapped in tin foil got it promptly returned onto their roof. I assumed that it jammed up the eaves real good.
 
2006-10-30 12:48:38 AM  
toothbrushes?

TOOTHBRUSHES???

Jeez, why not hand out old bus tokens while you're at it?
 
2006-10-30 12:49:00 AM  
Av8rLuvr: When I was trick or treating my mom would check our bags before we ate anything. If it was homemade, it went straight to the trash.

This was a long time ago, back when stories about razor blades in apples started circulating.


They still do this. Paranoid soccer moms with a ton of time on their hands and no concept of the website "snopes" pass around urban legends that just won't die. Always hand out prepackaged candy or it is going in the trash, therefore wasting your time.
 
2006-10-30 12:49:02 AM  
If I get a reputation for handing out Cliff Bars, maybe those damn kids will stay off my lawn.
 
2006-10-30 12:49:13 AM  
Persepolis, that was awesome.
 
2006-10-30 12:49:26 AM  
If the kids eat right the rest of the year a week of extra sugar is not going to kill them. If they don't, it's not their fault and it won't kill them that much faster. Let them have their damn tiny Crunch bars and Reeses shaped like pumpkins.
 
2006-10-30 12:50:12 AM  
Quid Pro Quidnunc: Boxed raisins are usually coated with enough sugar to pretty much make them candy.

good point.
 
2006-10-30 12:50:49 AM  
i lol'd @ hexane
 
2006-10-30 12:51:59 AM  
Ketchup packets and Taco Bell hot sauce packets!
 
2006-10-30 12:53:10 AM  
I got an apple once when I was a kid...
with a razor blade in it!!!
 
2006-10-30 12:53:43 AM  
they want Candy eh... well they can only have her for a little while damn it, she's mine!
 
2006-10-30 12:55:20 AM  
Jeez, why not hand out old bus tokens while you're at it?

Other bullshiat "treat" ideas:

Pennies
Religious tracts
Erasers (those pink inch-long kind)
Combs
 
2006-10-30 12:55:20 AM  
Two things that piss me off about what this holiday has become:

1: People who bring their kids to areas of town where they don't belong. I don't care if they give out better candy, you trick-or-treat in your own neighborhood.

1a: in cars. Walk, you fat bastards. If you need the car, you're either going too far or too lazy.

2: "Official" hours. When I was a kid, we'd start when the sun went down and wouldn't finish till 10:00. Don't tell me my daughter can't start till 7 and has to be home by 8. What the crap is that?
 
2006-10-30 12:55:46 AM  
Ok I'm sick of all the "candy rots your teeth" crap. How many people do you know who have rotten teeth from anything let alone candy? Hell, I used to work in a candy store. The owner encouraged me to eat the candy. Make sure it's fresh and to get to know the product for when customers asked. My teeth are perfectly healthy. So parents need to stop their whinning and let their kids have some candy once a year. Just make sure they brush their teeth a little more or something.
/working in a candy store kicks ass
//until you start to hate candy
 
2006-10-30 12:56:36 AM  
h to the 'ojo, I live on 2.5 acres, I figure if they can throw an egg to reach my house they could be lethal with rocks, so I take the necessary precaution. Yes, I could take them down hand to hand, but what the hell kind of fun is that?

Anyways, nearest police response to my place is over 30 minutes away if not more. Out here, we take care of it the old fashioned way.
 
2006-10-30 12:57:00 AM  
MajorityWhip: I got an apple once when I was a kid...
with a razor blade in it!!!


There was a dude in my neighborhood years back that handed out apples one year.

The apples had quarters and dimes jammed into them. So far in that you couldn't even see them. I noticed weird bruising and cuts in it, so I gave it to my parents, who cut it open to find out about it.

I don't think he was trying to hurt people. He was a little "off", I think he really thought it was a cool treat. To get an apple, and be suprised with money as well.
 
2006-10-30 12:57:13 AM  
Give mini-toothbrush sets.

This has got to be the worse thing on the list.

Honestly, why not let kids be kids, let them have fun, let them collect the candy and not hound them about the evils of junk food?

At least there was no mention of passing out those stupid ass 'chick tracts' on how great Jebus is.

I'm going to be preforming a Samhain ritual at my girlfriend's house that night and won't be home.
 
2006-10-30 12:57:21 AM  
unit63: Jeez, why not hand out old bus tokens while you're at it?

Could be worse. You could give them out-of-date bus schedules.
 
2006-10-30 12:57:36 AM  
2 words: Soylent Green.

/It's Tuesday.
//Tuesday is Soylent Green Day.
 
2006-10-30 12:57:48 AM  
i'm handing out pre-packaged apples with razorblades in them.

/love that laminator...
//don't know how i'm gonna shave this week though...
 
2006-10-30 12:58:56 AM  
WaffenSS: I have some nice paintball guns for first time offenders, repeat offenders get a nice salt rock peppering, third time I say you were a threat to me and my family and level your ass with a .44 s&w, double barrel, or a 30-06.

ur teh internet tough guy lolz
 
2006-10-30 12:59:02 AM  
What about condoms?
 
2006-10-30 12:59:10 AM  
Yea but growing up with the rep as being "that house" has gotta have some credit. When the times right... just throw cats at the kids.. =P

One year when I was younger I swear some guy was just giving out old office surplus. I got a clock with a old calendar... awesome.
 
2006-10-30 1:00:39 AM  
Give mini-toothbrush sets.

Not to mention that most of the toothbrushes in these thing suck.

/Getting too old to trick or treat
//Gave out dollar bills last time I got trick or treaters
///That's what you get for trick or treating in a college campus apartment complex.
 
:P
2006-10-30 1:00:52 AM  
andrew131: What about condoms?

Depends on what you put in them.
 
2006-10-30 1:01:43 AM  
Little packets of organic raisins (sultanas) - but see dentist's concern below


I can begin to explain why this is hilarious.
 
2006-10-30 1:02:03 AM  
I thought the whole point was to make other people's kids teeth rot?
 
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