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(USA Today)   "No matter your age, if you are reading this, you are growing older." Finally, some hard-hitting investigative reporting   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

3884 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2006 at 6:52 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

38 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-09-22 5:53:39 PM  
Pigkiller: "Remember: no matter where you go, there you are."
2006-09-22 6:26:54 PM  
And now you're even older, and now you're even older, and now you're older still.

/TMBG fan from way back
2006-09-22 6:54:37 PM  
We're all born dying.
2006-09-22 6:54:49 PM  
Did Ric Romero do this story?
2006-09-22 6:54:50 PM  
Damnit Santos!

Time is marching on!

And time

Is still marching on!
2006-09-22 6:55:09 PM  
You mean we're all dying right now? EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

//didn't rtfa
///getting too old for that sort of the second...
2006-09-22 6:58:05 PM  
Tell that to the guy celebrating his 365th birthday in Siberia...

//someone needs to post the ancient laughing quaker...
2006-09-22 7:00:21 PM  
I'll be fifty in fourty five days...don't know if i wanna be.
2006-09-22 7:12:24 PM  
If you find a way to stop it, please let me know.

/happy early birthday
2006-09-22 7:17:04 PM  
Man, why does anyone read USA Today? It's the least journalistic "journalism" you can FIND off of the internet.
2006-09-22 7:17:16 PM  
Another day older, another day closer to death.
2006-09-22 7:23:01 PM  
Our worst nightmare (or greatest dream for some farkers) has come true: Ric Romero has cloned himself and/or raised an army of sub-room-temperature-IQ "journalists" to do his evil deeds.
2006-09-22 7:24:24 PM  
I'm glad to see that someone already quoted TMBG in here.

/This day will soon be at an end...
2006-09-22 7:25:15 PM  
No tag?
2006-09-22 7:26:42 PM  
The definition of "old" has changed. The biblical "three score and 10" (70) for one's lifetime is outdated. At birth now, the average life expectancy in the USA is 74.9 for males, 80.7 for females.

OMG!!!11!1!1 The definition really has changed! It's shifted by 4.9 whole years!!!1!1one!

/stupid freaking article
2006-09-22 7:29:50 PM  
can we say ADVERTISMENT?
2006-09-22 7:30:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Time flows. More at 11
2006-09-22 7:35:33 PM  
this farker is not gonna get laid anytime soon, story at 11
2006-09-22 7:36:27 PM  
MORB: Time flows.

[image from too old to be available]
Wind blows
Fire burns
Water... er, washes
and, um


2006-09-22 7:47:08 PM  
Mitch Hedberg

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I am older." "You son of a biatch, how'd you do that? Let me see that camera."
2006-09-22 7:49:28 PM  
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
2006-09-22 7:58:02 PM  
"And I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I
don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime."

Pink Floyd
2006-09-22 8:16:51 PM  
I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here.
2006-09-22 8:28:04 PM  
USA Today is like Weekly Reader for retarded grownups. I'm surprised they didn't have colorful charts and graphs to illustrate that sentence.
2006-09-22 8:46:23 PM  
This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

/HA HA another movie quote
2006-09-22 8:58:56 PM  
She'll be the toast of the Big Apple on Saturday night when she celebrates her 100th (which actually was Sept. 10)

Birthdays are pointless enough as it is ("Look at me-I didn't die during the last revolution of the earth around the sun!"); celebrating them 13 days too late is just major lame.
2006-09-22 9:49:02 PM  
Reminds me of a note my dad left for my uncle one time that concluded with "If you do not get this message, please disregard."
2006-09-22 11:20:23 PM  
Heh, didn't RTFA. That will save me at least 5 seconds of wasted time.
2006-09-23 12:07:19 AM  
my new purpose in life is to prove this story wrong, if not only for a split second
2006-09-23 12:23:30 AM  
"If you're not busy bein' born you're busy dieing"

Jimi Hendrix
2006-09-23 12:44:19 AM  
Birth is the leading cause of death.
2006-09-23 1:05:49 AM  
Mel_odie, That's a line from a Dylan song. If Hendrix said it he was quoting Dylan.
2006-09-23 1:34:28 AM  
what is a totally insipid article by a major reason Americans are idiots, Alex?
2006-09-23 3:53:11 AM  
Iworkformsn: Thank You, i'm workin' on it.
2006-09-23 5:01:42 AM  
so if we don't read it, are we not growing older?

someone find me a philosophy major
2006-09-23 10:19:57 AM  
Well I was growing older, but the early frost kind of put a damper on the whole project.
2006-09-23 3:10:41 PM  
I live in the upstate New York town where Norman and Ruth Peale live/lived. Dr. Norm was, without a doubt, the most engaging, warm, inspiring person you could ever meet. He was so concerned with his fellow inhabitant of Earth that he didn't have the time or inclination to market his charisma. That job belonged to Ruth Stafford Peale, who is one of the coldest, most calculating, profit-minded people alive. She built the Peale fortune with her bare hands, teeth, blood ... er, wait. That stuff came from the hundreds of people she used to catapult her husband's innate congeniality to a multi-million non-for-profit (aren't they mutually exclusive?) conglomerate. Woe betide the person who got in Mrs. Peale's way. Knowing the people involved with the planning for this "little party" for Ruth's 100th, I can tell you that no expense was spared, and all sizeable donations required from the star-studded guest list were tax deductible.
2006-09-23 4:54:20 PM  
Another day older, another day closer to death.

Don't you mean, "shorter of breath and one day closer to death"?
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