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(Omaha World Herald)   Today's headline no one could make up: "Hidden bodies often a signpost of fraud"   (pittsburghlive.com) divider line
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    More: Dumbass  
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6825 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2006 at 9:08 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
DarkSoulNoHope
2006-08-17 9:09:28 PM  
Someone apparently made it up Submitter.
 
Shrugging Atlas
2006-08-17 9:10:32 PM  
Often, but not always. I have never committed an act of fraud, and I must have six or seven bodies buried on my property. Who can keep track?
 
skinink [OhFark]
2006-08-17 9:13:18 PM  
"Authorities are trying to determine if Haas was receiving benefit payments, and whether her adult daughters were using the money. Both daughters are charged with conspiracy and abuse of a corpse."


Okay, it's one thing to collect your dead mother's benefits, but to abuse a corpse for your secret Oedipus lesbian fantasies is just wrong !!!
 
mmagdalene
2006-08-17 9:13:23 PM  
I'm all for biodegradeable signposts, but really.
 
Unabubbas
2006-08-17 9:13:32 PM  
Where is the Omaha.com aticle? Fraud.
 
ClipJoint
2006-08-17 9:14:05 PM  
"The fact she's 90 years old, there's a good chance she was," said Dan Majewski, a Social Security spokesman in Pittsburgh. "But we don't know that yet."

Um, present tense and past tense collidng in the same sentence is probably a bad sign if you are a "spokesman"
 
offacue [TotalFark]
2006-08-17 9:15:55 PM  
At the morgue, do they keep all of them out in the open? Or are they *hidden* in fridigators.

/DRTFA
\\refrigerators.....I know
 
MonkeyTherapy
2006-08-17 9:18:16 PM  
ClipJoint "The fact she's 90 years old, there's a good chance she was," said Dan Majewski, a Social Security spokesman in Pittsburgh. "But we don't know that yet."

Um, present tense and past tense collidng in the same sentence is probably a bad sign if you are a "spokesman"

Read in context, the statement is "The fact she's 90 years old (indicates) there's a good chance she was (receiving benefits).

In conjunction with the rest of TFA, it looks grammatically correct to me, but what do I know, I'm the product of the public education system.
 
ManBearPig
2006-08-17 9:21:11 PM  
Do the bodies weigh more than 6 pounds plus gravity?

/lawlz
 
quisph
2006-08-17 9:22:08 PM  
You know, I always try to see things from the other person's point of view, but I really have to wonder what these people are thinking when they hide a relative's corpse. They must know that it can't go on forever. Sooner or later, the Guinness Book of World Records people are bound to start asking questions.
 
olddinosaur
2006-08-17 9:22:40 PM  
If you are going to try something like this, you need to plan ahead to get rid of the body, not leave it lying around.

Best deal is to seal it into a steel barrel, weight it down with rocks, and roll it into the ocean far offshore.

Decomposing bodies release a lot of gas, so make sure you punch lots of holes round about the sides and the ends.

See how easy it is when you know what you're doing?
 
HumbleGenius
2006-08-17 9:25:45 PM  
One of the best headlines I've seen was in the Japan Times when I was there in 1998. It was a birdwatching article with the headline "How to tell your tits apart."

I saved that one.
 
desolationrow
2006-08-17 9:28:50 PM  
I don't know, I can see it happening. When someone's in a hard enough financial state to consider something like this, it must make perfect sense at the time. Not only do you have to pay for a funeral if you report it, but any income gets cut off, and it's not like a dignified funeral brings anyone back from the dead. Then the house gets seized, you lose all your stuff, and the person isn't any less dead.
 
quisph
2006-08-17 9:33:16 PM  
olddinosaur

Great. Now all you have to do is rid yourself of the absence of the beneficiary, and the scam is foolproof.

Alas, since I don't live near the ocean, I'll have to rid myself of the absence of the beneficiary some other way.
 
SAvoodoo
2006-08-17 9:36:35 PM  
IT WAS CHRISTMAS!
 
quisph
2006-08-17 9:43:00 PM  
desolationrow

Oh sure, I know that desperation can really fark with your ability to think straight. That's why it's so hard for me to imagine it from their point of view. I wonder what they must tell themselves when they can surely see that there's no way out of it. It's terribly sad.
 
jarbabyj
2006-08-17 9:46:41 PM  
[image from i5.tinypic.com too old to be available]
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-08-17 9:52:36 PM  
MonkeyTherapy: I'm the product of the public education system

THE product of the public education system? You're the only student who ever graduated?

/honor to meetcha
 
Regnad Kcin
2006-08-17 10:04:57 PM  
You keep Grandma in the freezer because you need the money to pay the electric bill so you can keep Grandma in the freezer because you need the money to pay the electric bill...


It's a sad trap in which many young people have found themselves ensnared.
 
facework
2006-08-17 10:07:38 PM  
*snort*

This shouldn't be as funny as it is. Hiding the bodies of dead elderly people is so very very wrong.
 
Big Brother
2006-08-17 10:14:00 PM  
its sad, but people often overlook the nutritional value...
 
Itys
2006-08-17 10:14:50 PM  
Dan Majewski,
After further review, the play still stands,

close enough
 
Itys
2006-08-17 10:16:07 PM  
What I meant is,

We have a reversal
 
hexane
2006-08-17 10:24:23 PM  
Poor Mr. Gasper, his son just swept him under the rug.
 
lelio
2006-08-17 11:13:36 PM  
Federal authorities unraveled the scheme when they tried to hand-deliver a 100th birthday card to Carrigan's mother, a commonly used tactic to discover if a person collecting benefits is actually alive.

Damn LIEbural media giving away secrets to the enemy again
 
screams incomprehensible
2006-08-18 1:07:04 AM  
[image from strk3.com too old to be available]

To some, hidden bodies are a signpost of lunch.
 
attention span of a retarded fruit fly
2006-08-18 1:37:07 AM  
Okey Submitter...Omaha is not in PA...

Farking American school system
 
Ripside
2006-08-18 2:24:15 AM  
I concur - wth is with the use of the Omaha.com tag?

Mods are not on their toes today.
 
TheSignPost
2006-08-18 8:54:52 AM  
I approve of this headline however have missed the thread, obviously.
 
QT_3.14159
2006-08-18 10:19:49 AM  
I think the best way to get away with this, would be if you could somehow pass yourself off as the deceased. You know, if your mother / father and yourself were close enough in age... there's not that much difference between 80 & 96, right?

It shouldn't be too hard, really, at least in cases like this where neighbors / relatives wouldn't notice someone wasn't leaving the house anymore.

Dental records could be a problem... but not if you get them all pulled and have dentures!

/I think I thought of everything...
 
ducktapeducktape
2006-08-18 3:09:03 PM  
Big Brother: Soylent Green
 
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