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(Omaha World Herald)   Today's headline no one could make up: "Hidden bodies often a signpost of fraud"   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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6825 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2006 at 9:08 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

31 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-08-17 9:09:28 PM  
Someone apparently made it up Submitter.
2006-08-17 9:10:32 PM  
Often, but not always. I have never committed an act of fraud, and I must have six or seven bodies buried on my property. Who can keep track?
2006-08-17 9:13:18 PM  
"Authorities are trying to determine if Haas was receiving benefit payments, and whether her adult daughters were using the money. Both daughters are charged with conspiracy and abuse of a corpse."

Okay, it's one thing to collect your dead mother's benefits, but to abuse a corpse for your secret Oedipus lesbian fantasies is just wrong !!!

2006-08-17 9:13:23 PM  
I'm all for biodegradeable signposts, but really.
2006-08-17 9:13:32 PM  
Where is the aticle? Fraud.
2006-08-17 9:14:05 PM  
"The fact she's 90 years old, there's a good chance she was," said Dan Majewski, a Social Security spokesman in Pittsburgh. "But we don't know that yet."

Um, present tense and past tense collidng in the same sentence is probably a bad sign if you are a "spokesman"
2006-08-17 9:15:55 PM  
At the morgue, do they keep all of them out in the open? Or are they *hidden* in fridigators.

\\refrigerators.....I know
2006-08-17 9:18:16 PM  
ClipJoint "The fact she's 90 years old, there's a good chance she was," said Dan Majewski, a Social Security spokesman in Pittsburgh. "But we don't know that yet."

Um, present tense and past tense collidng in the same sentence is probably a bad sign if you are a "spokesman"

Read in context, the statement is "The fact she's 90 years old (indicates) there's a good chance she was (receiving benefits).

In conjunction with the rest of TFA, it looks grammatically correct to me, but what do I know, I'm the product of the public education system.
2006-08-17 9:21:11 PM  
Do the bodies weigh more than 6 pounds plus gravity?

2006-08-17 9:22:08 PM  
You know, I always try to see things from the other person's point of view, but I really have to wonder what these people are thinking when they hide a relative's corpse. They must know that it can't go on forever. Sooner or later, the Guinness Book of World Records people are bound to start asking questions.
2006-08-17 9:22:40 PM  
If you are going to try something like this, you need to plan ahead to get rid of the body, not leave it lying around.

Best deal is to seal it into a steel barrel, weight it down with rocks, and roll it into the ocean far offshore.

Decomposing bodies release a lot of gas, so make sure you punch lots of holes round about the sides and the ends.

See how easy it is when you know what you're doing?
2006-08-17 9:25:45 PM  
One of the best headlines I've seen was in the Japan Times when I was there in 1998. It was a birdwatching article with the headline "How to tell your tits apart."

I saved that one.
2006-08-17 9:28:50 PM  
I don't know, I can see it happening. When someone's in a hard enough financial state to consider something like this, it must make perfect sense at the time. Not only do you have to pay for a funeral if you report it, but any income gets cut off, and it's not like a dignified funeral brings anyone back from the dead. Then the house gets seized, you lose all your stuff, and the person isn't any less dead.
2006-08-17 9:33:16 PM  

Great. Now all you have to do is rid yourself of the absence of the beneficiary, and the scam is foolproof.

Alas, since I don't live near the ocean, I'll have to rid myself of the absence of the beneficiary some other way.
2006-08-17 9:36:35 PM  
2006-08-17 9:43:00 PM  

Oh sure, I know that desperation can really fark with your ability to think straight. That's why it's so hard for me to imagine it from their point of view. I wonder what they must tell themselves when they can surely see that there's no way out of it. It's terribly sad.
2006-08-17 9:46:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-08-17 9:52:36 PM  
MonkeyTherapy: I'm the product of the public education system

THE product of the public education system? You're the only student who ever graduated?

/honor to meetcha
2006-08-17 10:04:57 PM  
You keep Grandma in the freezer because you need the money to pay the electric bill so you can keep Grandma in the freezer because you need the money to pay the electric bill...

It's a sad trap in which many young people have found themselves ensnared.
2006-08-17 10:07:38 PM  

This shouldn't be as funny as it is. Hiding the bodies of dead elderly people is so very very wrong.
2006-08-17 10:14:00 PM  
its sad, but people often overlook the nutritional value...
2006-08-17 10:14:50 PM  
Dan Majewski,
After further review, the play still stands,

close enough
2006-08-17 10:16:07 PM  
What I meant is,

We have a reversal
2006-08-17 10:24:23 PM  
Poor Mr. Gasper, his son just swept him under the rug.
2006-08-17 11:13:36 PM  
Federal authorities unraveled the scheme when they tried to hand-deliver a 100th birthday card to Carrigan's mother, a commonly used tactic to discover if a person collecting benefits is actually alive.

Damn LIEbural media giving away secrets to the enemy again
2006-08-18 1:07:04 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

To some, hidden bodies are a signpost of lunch.
2006-08-18 1:37:07 AM  
Okey Submitter...Omaha is not in PA...

Farking American school system
2006-08-18 2:24:15 AM  
I concur - wth is with the use of the tag?

Mods are not on their toes today.
2006-08-18 8:54:52 AM  
I approve of this headline however have missed the thread, obviously.
2006-08-18 10:19:49 AM  
I think the best way to get away with this, would be if you could somehow pass yourself off as the deceased. You know, if your mother / father and yourself were close enough in age... there's not that much difference between 80 & 96, right?

It shouldn't be too hard, really, at least in cases like this where neighbors / relatives wouldn't notice someone wasn't leaving the house anymore.

Dental records could be a problem... but not if you get them all pulled and have dentures!

/I think I thought of everything...
2006-08-18 3:09:03 PM  
Big Brother: Soylent Green
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