Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Scotsman)   "How do you go to the toilet when you are sewn into a suit made from 11,000 spiky seed cases and you've been drinking?" (pic)   (edinburghnews.scotsman.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

30865 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2006 at 12:20 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



73 Comments     (+0 »)


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2006-08-12 11:16:01 AM  
I'm sure that image will appear in my nightmares at some point.
 
2006-08-12 11:36:07 AM  
He's covered in burrs

/Nearly Izzard
 
2006-08-12 12:23:06 PM  
whiskey
tango
foxtrot
 
2006-08-12 12:26:50 PM  
So uhhh, who pulls it out?
 
2006-08-12 12:26:53 PM  
...leaving small holes for his eyes and at his mouth so he can sip whisky through a straw.

Willy approves
[image from img228.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2006-08-12 12:26:57 PM  
IKillBugs:
whisky
tango
foxtrot


Fixed.

/Damn Un-American spellers
//Can't strike a single letter?
 
2006-08-12 12:27:20 PM  
WTF Indeed.

FTFA: "If I need to go my dad will have a pair of scissors and will cut through. In the past he has cut through my long johns a bit and then patched me up with burrs."

Sounds like a LOT of fun. 35 yr old man having his dad help with restroom duties.

What some people will do for free drinks......
 
2006-08-12 12:27:31 PM  
Lasher Dragon: So uhhh, who pulls it out?

Not It!!!!!!
 
2006-08-12 12:28:46 PM  
 
2006-08-12 12:29:35 PM  
"If I need to go my dad will have a pair of scissors and will cut through. In the past he has cut through my long johns a bit and then patched me up with burrs."

I hope his dad stays sober else he's gonna be Bobbitt Man.
 
2006-08-12 12:30:27 PM  
ignoramus: Fixed.

BELETED!
[image from img76.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2006-08-12 12:31:30 PM  
at least it's not his mom


btw


To prepare for the ritual, the Burry Man dresses in trousers, T-shirt, long johns, long-sleeve vest and a balaclava, before being covered from head to toe with 11,000 of the sticky seed pods from the burdock plant.

[image from mideastdelights.com too old to be available]
 
2006-08-12 12:31:42 PM  
Can't they just use a condom with the end cut off attached with a hose to plastic bags taped to the legs.
 
2006-08-12 12:31:57 PM  
Answer:

Very, very carefully.
 
2006-08-12 12:35:21 PM  
I want to be Chicago's "burry man". I'll roam around every weekend, and people can give me whiskey. What could possibly go wrong?
 
2006-08-12 12:35:48 PM  
Balaclava
[image from hikepa.com too old to be available]
 
2006-08-12 12:40:16 PM  
There's easier ways to get free drinks. Just tell 'em you're FDNY, and then make up some sob story about your kid being run over by a drunk driver, and your wife pregnant with your OR your brother's kid.
/worked for Denis Leary
 
2006-08-12 12:41:22 PM  
barryq


Can't they just use a condom with the end cut off attached with a hose to plastic bags taped to the legs.

Strangely well thought out. I wonder what your motivation might be...

/hides the pee bags.
 
2006-08-12 12:51:09 PM  
1. Wear a ridiculous costume resembling a pruned hedge
2. Roam around downtown soliticing liquor and plant material attached to said costume
3. Profit !? or just get stinking drunk

/sounds like a job I could handle
 
2006-08-12 12:54:05 PM  
IKillBugs: ignoramus: Fixed.

BELETED!


Is Edinburgh in Ireland now ? Eejit.
 
2006-08-12 12:54:38 PM  
MAN I love the Scots! They are so bad-ass in finding ways to hurt themselves and then not even complaining when hurts like the dickens
 
2006-08-12 12:55:44 PM  
barryq: Can't they just use a condom with the end cut off attached with a hose to plastic bags taped to the legs.

They call it a catheter. It's for the sick, the elderly, and probably for some really lazy people.
Someone should start marketing them to Internet or MMO addicts. They're going to sell like hotcakes. "Game all night without getting off the seat! Only our catheters are CPL certified for the thrills and spills of tournament gaming. Rubber size available are small, medium and the dick you claim to have on the Internet."
 
2006-08-12 12:56:25 PM  
ch4r7ie: long-sleeve vest and a balaclava,


Balaclava vs Baklava.

Know the difference, or you are going to be wearing at strudel for your bank robbery....
 
2006-08-12 12:57:54 PM  
i work for a scott. scotch at the morning meetings and threats of his wife's haggis are commonplace. cool guy. biggest beer snob i've ever met, and i'm considered a beer snob.
 
2006-08-12 12:58:29 PM  
alienchickenpie: barryq: Can't they just use a condom with the end cut off attached with a hose to plastic bags taped to the legs.

They call it a catheter.


Aren't you in for a nasty shock if you ever have to be catheterised !
 
2006-08-12 1:00:21 PM  
His Dad?!? Ain't no man touching me down there, let alone my dad. I would have a female to cut my pants and help me out.

/Shaaay baby, hick, shee if you can spell my name.
 
2006-08-12 1:00:45 PM  
Hey you crazy damn dim Scotsman (and Farkers it seems).
There is this crazy new invention out.
It will SOOOOOOOOOO help in this little problem of urination and costum.
Whats more, even a retard could use it.

You might have a problem finding it tho, seeing on how rare it is and all.

Its called velcro.


/Seems common sense has gone out with shoelaces....
 
2006-08-12 1:03:50 PM  
[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]

separated at birth?
 
2006-08-12 1:04:34 PM  
Jof? Pick Me!
 
2006-08-12 1:05:33 PM  
How much does he drink BEFORE he puts the suit on?
 
2006-08-12 1:05:50 PM  
alienchickenpie: barryq: Can't they just use a condom with the end cut off attached with a hose to plastic bags taped to the legs.

They call it a catheter.

FarkinNortherner:
Aren't you in for a nasty shock if you ever have to be catheterised!



Yes he is......very very much so.
A hint to what FarkinNortherner: is talking about.
A catheter.....they arent "worn" on the outside.

.......Get the idea?
 
2006-08-12 1:07:42 PM  
just disguise his meatus as a burr, pull it out amongst the other burrs. when someone offers you a drink of scotch and a short chat, quietly micturate on their leg!
 
2006-08-12 1:11:12 PM  
 
2006-08-12 1:11:18 PM  
Hey I lost an E somewhere......anyone see my missing E????

Yeah it goes on the end of costum_.


/Damn sausage fingers.
 
2006-08-12 1:12:32 PM  
FarkinNortherner: Aren't you in for a nasty shock if you ever have to be catheterised !
Only the long-term catheters, like the ones they use for people who have a hugeass prostate, are fed down the keyhole.
If you're just an old man who needs to pee a lot, or really badly., a condom cathether is available. They have special little condoms with tubes on the end, so they can hook up to the bag using a longer tube.
/still shudders at the time my dad told me he had to go out to get grandpa some rubber.
 
2006-08-12 1:15:23 PM  
This reminds me of the "Wicker Man", but I'd rather be the "Burr Man", even with the catheter.
 
2006-08-12 1:18:22 PM  
jayday: Yes he is......very very much so.
A hint to what FarkinNortherner: is talking about.
A catheter.....they arent "worn" on the outside.


Hypothetically, if I had been wrong about that, it would've been ignorance, not stupidity. I got his drift, double checked it, and saw they actually existed.
 
2006-08-12 1:20:47 PM  
jayday The funny thing is, velcro is based on burrs (designed to stick the same way).
 
SGF
2006-08-12 1:23:00 PM  
Franz Ferdinand died in part because the suit he was wearing when shot was sewn onto his body
 
2006-08-12 1:24:10 PM  
I was thinking something like Depends.
 
2006-08-12 1:26:19 PM  
This is what I use

http://www.fifthd.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=118

works well but if that thing slips off your willie there will be a mess when you come up for air.
 
2006-08-12 1:32:18 PM  
So even if they help him free willy, and sew him back up afterwards, somebody has to hold him, and shake him off when he's done. Much rather that to be a wee bonnie lass than my dad!
 
2006-08-12 1:32:20 PM  
[image from images.amazon.com too old to be available]
 
2006-08-12 1:35:43 PM  
FTFA- "long-sleeve vest"

In America, we call them "shirts".
 
2006-08-12 1:37:43 PM  
alienchickenpie
Hypothetically, if I had been wrong about that, it would've been ignorance, not stupidity. I got his drift, double checked it, and saw they actually existed.



Ehhh no big deal either way.
And BTW I the reason those are refered to as a "catheter" is simply because its a tube used for draining.
Which is the definition for about any tube used for draining in the medical field( e.g. you can have a catheter placed in a wound to drain fluid from it).

All that said....
If you end up in a hospital and they say they are giving you a urinary catheter....lets just say you should start cringing.
 
2006-08-12 1:37:49 PM  
They call it a catheter. It's for the sick, the elderly, and probably for some really lazy people.
Someone should start marketing them to Internet or MMO addicts.


Just as long as they come up with a cream to prevent the inevitable bedsores...
 
2006-08-12 1:47:21 PM  
We did cut him out at one point. We cut seven or eight inches and pulled his long johns down...

Now there's a real man: he had 7 or 8 inches to spare!
 
2006-08-12 1:50:10 PM  
"There would be no shame if I needed to wet myself..."

/the smell might cut down on the free drinks and comradeship.
//just hire a wino.
 
2006-08-12 2:00:45 PM  
noit


FTFA- "long-sleeve vest"

In America, we call them "shirts".



Dammit! 35 minutes too late!!!
 
2006-08-12 2:16:36 PM  
If the method is scissors, I'd rather piss myself and blame it on the whiskey!
 
Displayed 50 of 73 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.