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(Some Guy)   Apparently a billion people now live in South Dakota, because according to this, that's how many are against the state's abortion ban   (argusleader.com) divider line
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18792 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2006 at 6:03 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



353 Comments     (+0 »)


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Hot Carl To Go
2006-08-11 5:46:59 PM  
Allright, allright. From an ealier thread:

Q: What is red and creeps up a woman's leg?

A: A homesick abortion.
 
totalsecurity
2006-08-11 5:50:22 PM  
If by people you mean sunflowers, or barley, then I'd agree.
 
neilpatrickharris
2006-08-11 6:05:42 PM  
Q: What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree?

A: A dead baby nailed to ten trees.

/Hooray for boobies and dead baby jokes
 
Rfairney
2006-08-11 6:05:57 PM  
did submitter RTFA ?
 
wmoonfox
2006-08-11 6:06:12 PM  
smitty is trying way too hard...
 
Rev. Skarekroe
2006-08-11 6:06:45 PM  
Good one.
The headline I mean, not Hot Carl To Go's "Truly Tasteless Jokes 5" reject.
 
xtex
2006-08-11 6:07:33 PM  
awesome. dead baby threads are teh best.
 
xkristinx
2006-08-11 6:07:48 PM  
Abortion will just return to back alleys and basements if they're banned.

/Abortions for all.
 
Manfred J. Hattan
2006-08-11 6:08:21 PM  
Just another smitty getting a cheap greenlight by stealing a James Taranto joke.
 
TemporarySanity
2006-08-11 6:08:46 PM  
Shortly after Billion made his statement, his younger brother issued a statement of his own to reporters - in support of the ban and the governor.

so, really, what they're saying is that billions in south dakota are against the ban, while billions more support it.
 
andrewman1
2006-08-11 6:08:59 PM  
ummm

the story's about a politician named Jack Billion....not the number 1,000,000,000
 
that1guy77
2006-08-11 6:09:46 PM  
Damnit, the neo-cons stopped us from labotomizing living fetuses and putting babies in a blender. Wha' we gon' do fellow libtards?
 
clgrin
2006-08-11 6:09:51 PM  
Wait, if fetuses are alive, and SD friggin empty, then... OMG the fetus are pro-choice!!! We have to destroy them to keep the status qu.... ohhhh. THis is a conundrum isn't it?
 
toonz
2006-08-11 6:10:04 PM  
well if weren't for abortion, maybe there'd actually BE a bilion South Dakotans, and then wouldn't THAT be paradise?
 
blink_183
2006-08-11 6:10:07 PM  
worst dead baby joke evar:

what do you get when you stab a dead baby in the ass with a screwdriver?

an erection
 
MrPerfectSU
2006-08-11 6:10:13 PM  
Abortions for some; miniature American flags for others
 
just wasting time
2006-08-11 6:10:14 PM  
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.

/of course.
 
griz212
2006-08-11 6:10:31 PM  
Rfairney...yes he RTFA...did you get the pun?

"Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jack Billion..."

/cheesy, yes, but still tasty
 
Quadraton
2006-08-11 6:11:22 PM  
xkristinx: /Abortions for all.

Wrong!

Abortions for some, little miniature American flags for others.

/I voted for Kodos
 
haemaker
2006-08-11 6:11:42 PM  
Gee, I thought Brazillion people were against it.
 
that1guy77
2006-08-11 6:11:44 PM  
andrewman1:

ummm

the story's about a politician named Jack Billion....not the number 1,000,000,000


Slap yourself.
 
just wasting time
2006-08-11 6:11:47 PM  
MrPerfect, you live up to your name by beating me by ONE SECOND!!!!
 
Free Radical
2006-08-11 6:12:05 PM  
Q: What's worse than running barefoot acroos a football field of dead babies?

A: Getting your toe stuck in an eyesocket.


On topic:

I wish we could instate a law that mandates the fiscal responsibility of unwanted children forced to be birthed to all who vote in these anti-abortion laws.

In other words; Put your money where your mouth is. You don't want babies aborted, fine, you now have to raise them yourself or pay child support until they are 18.
 
redbloodwyn
2006-08-11 6:13:14 PM  
blink_183

Sir, I take my hat off to you. Not because it was a funny joke, it was not. It was the WORST dead baby joke I have ever heard.

(I'm not offended but gawddamn.)
 
TemporarySanity
2006-08-11 6:13:23 PM  
andrewman1:
[image from img156.imageshack.us too old to be available]
the story's about a politician named Jack Billion....not the number 1,000,000,000
 
Nowhereman
2006-08-11 6:13:31 PM  
Eh, im not too worried on the one hand this is a republican state, on the other the laws regarding abortion are federal, not state.
 
milk_plus
2006-08-11 6:14:15 PM  
South Dakota: a state with a government so small it can fit in your uterus
 
toonz
2006-08-11 6:14:26 PM  
that1guy77

Damnit, the neo-cons stopped us from labotomizing living fetuses and putting babies in a blender. Wha' we gon' do fellow libtards?

your mom?
 
freudianslip84
2006-08-11 6:14:38 PM  
Abortion will just return to back alleys and basements if they're banned.

While this may happen, it's likely that they will become less prevalent. Also, people argue that back alley abortions are less safe than those performed in a clinic but A)either way a baby is going to be murdured and B)if a woman who is willing to murder her own child gets hurt/killed in the process, will that many tears really be shed? Are there that many people who feel the world would be a better place with more murderers around?
 
Doggie McNugget
2006-08-11 6:15:05 PM  
"You, you can't have an abortion. We are conservatives and there is only one way we don't like killing things, and it's that way." - American Dad
 
blink_183
2006-08-11 6:16:22 PM  
redbloodwyn

agreed, one of only 2 jokes that actually makes me feel bad telling. and i'm not telling the other.
 
totalsecurity
2006-08-11 6:16:35 PM  
Here's a tasteless one:

What's the difference between unloading a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

You don't use a pitchfork to unload bowling balls.
 
TemporarySanity
2006-08-11 6:16:39 PM  
freudianslip84: )if a woman who is willing to murder her own child gets hurt/killed in the process, will that many tears really be shed?

while it's true that we won't lose the cure for aids to the death of a back-alley "patient", you're still a soulless asshat.
 
atate_esq
2006-08-11 6:16:45 PM  
Free Radical

I wish we could instate a law that mandates the fiscal responsibility of unwanted children forced to be birthed to all who vote in these anti-abortion laws.

In other words; Put your money where your mouth is. You don't want babies aborted, fine, you now have to raise them yourself or pay child support until they are 18.

Deal. Does that mean I get to stop paying for the deadbeats I'm already paying for?
 
schrodingers cat
2006-08-11 6:16:57 PM  
Linda and Lyle Van Hemert of Sioux Falls and their six children, aged 4 to 17, stood in the back of the room wearing "Rounds for Governor" T-shirts. The family said they also support the abortion ban.


Apparently, SD is on their way....
 
Siamese Bream
2006-08-11 6:17:38 PM  
OK, my turn.

Q. How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

A. Depends how hard you throw them


Q. What's red and bubbly and taps on the window every few seconds?

A. A baby in a microwave


Q. What's more fun than spinning a baby round on a washing line at 200mph?

A. Stopping it with a shovel
 
ceruleanPhotography
2006-08-11 6:18:14 PM  
I need investors for my fetus farm...
 
Siamese Bream
2006-08-11 6:18:21 PM  
Oh, almost forgot:

Q. What's the first thing you should do after having a baby?

A. Put the nappy back on
 
blink_183
2006-08-11 6:18:51 PM  
ok i'll tell the other one...

what do you give a deformed one-legged homeless chinese kid with down syndrome for christmas?

aids
 
General Zang
2006-08-11 6:18:53 PM  
milk_plus said:

South Dakota: a state with a government so small it can fit in your uterus

Hehhehehe.
 
PotVsKtl
2006-08-11 6:19:57 PM  
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

A: You can't fark a rock.
 
we_hates
2006-08-11 6:19:59 PM  
freudianslip84: if a woman who is willing to murder her own child

Some of us don't believe that a soul-fairy flies down from heaven the moment a sperm swims inside an egg.

It's not murder - morally, ethically, or legally.
 
marleymaniac
2006-08-11 6:20:00 PM  
just wasting time

MrPerfect, you live up to your name by beating me by ONE SECOND!!!!

And you live up to yours you freaking procratinator!!!
 
atate_esq
2006-08-11 6:20:48 PM  
TemporarySanity

freudianslip84: )if a woman who is willing to murder her own child gets hurt/killed in the process, will that many tears really be shed?

while it's true that we won't lose the cure for aids to the death of a back-alley "patient", you're still a soulless asshat.

I kind of agree with you. I am merely posting to note that the we have no way of knowing what the baby may have accomplished. Of course, it is probably improper to assume that the mother might not have served society in some great way either...but with a baby there is more life left to get on a society-helping course, as opposed to a birth-age woman.
 
offacue [TotalFark]
2006-08-11 6:21:14 PM  
Paging Dr. Hanger. Dr. Hanger to the house down the street with the sixteen year old preggo chick. Dr. Hanger.
 
General Zang
2006-08-11 6:21:37 PM  
atate_esq said:

Does that mean I get to stop paying for the deadbeats I'm already paying for?

No. You and your family will be paying the cost of the Bush/Halliburton administration's credit card debt for the next several generations.

Enjoy.
 
atate_esq
2006-08-11 6:24:04 PM  
we_hates

Some of us don't believe that a soul-fairy flies down from heaven the moment a sperm swims inside an egg.

It's not murder - morally, ethically, or legally.

I'll agree with your position that abortion is not murder legally. However, there is an ongoing debate concerning its moral and ethical implications. To suggest that there is not is to elevate your world view above mine. That's not tolerance and that's something that pro-choice people constantly rail pro-life people about.

Stick with what is known and decided. In this country abortion is legal. There are still ethical and moral discussions insuing...and they are not likely to be universally resolved any time soon.
 
just wasting time
2006-08-11 6:24:08 PM  
marleymaniac,

I almost said that as well! But naturally, I was too lazy.

/and I'm not even high.
//dead babies.
 
Siamese Bream
2006-08-11 6:24:31 PM  
blink_183

I salute you for caving, sir. I must remember that one.
 
atate_esq
2006-08-11 6:25:04 PM  
General Zang

atate_esq said:

Does that mean I get to stop paying for the deadbeats I'm already paying for?

No. You and your family will be paying the cost of the Bush/Halliburton administration's credit card debt for the next several generations.

Enjoy.

Zing. Well played.
 
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