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(Portland Ground)   Fed up with high gas prices, man switches to vehicle powered by small children (w/ pic)   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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30937 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2006 at 2:02 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

81 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-07-29 9:25:27 PM  
Uh, teh wrong!11

I invented the child-burning engine. I have patents to prove it!
2006-07-29 9:37:18 PM  
FTFA: He expects that the next generation of this kind of vehicle will be about 100 pounds lighter, and closer to 200 pounds than the 300 pounds that this one weighs.

Thank you for doing the math for me, genius
2006-07-29 9:37:55 PM  
I'd hate to see his shower.
2006-07-29 9:39:03 PM  
bad news, kids; dad wants to pass.
2006-07-29 9:42:36 PM  
I hope the Professor gets royalties.
2006-07-29 9:52:42 PM  
damn impractical hippies

that's right, start them off getting used to being unwashed and smelly young.
2006-07-29 9:57:38 PM  
Good, just in time for Bugsy Malone to pick up Tallulah for their big date tonight.
2006-07-29 10:06:10 PM  
2006-07-29 10:07:01 PM  
For having a car that runs on the sweat and tears of children. This guy has a couple of fattys sittin up front
2006-07-29 10:07:06 PM  
Excellent! Start them young and they won't mind when we enslave them later on.
2006-07-30 12:59:06 AM  
Fat powered cars?

I like it!

BTW, that pic is begging for a PS.
2006-07-30 2:10:27 AM  
That doesn't look like it would hold up too well if it were to ever be involved in an accident. He should find a way to make the children absorb most of the impact.
2006-07-30 2:11:20 AM  
Looks to me like this family could use some human-powered car time, frankly. Props to the fam for killing 2 birds with one stone.

I second the PS request for this one. ©
2006-07-30 2:11:44 AM  
One day, I want an article written on me...

"Fed up with high gas prices, man invents Mr. Fusion."
2006-07-30 2:13:01 AM  
2006-07-30 2:13:05 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

meh we have these 4-person bicycle contraptions in monterey, CA already. they're called surreys. the tourists love 'em. bad pic but u get the idea
2006-07-30 2:13:07 AM  
I read that as "powered by a small chicken" and thought, "this I gotta see".

Boy was I disappointed.
2006-07-30 2:13:38 AM  
BillaBong: That doesn't look like it would hold up too well if it were to ever be involved in an accident. He should find a way to make the children absorb most of the impact.

That's beyond funny. Well done. ©
2006-07-30 2:15:10 AM  
*reads headline*

*looks over at his three children*

*smiles evilly*

/Bwha ha ha...
2006-07-30 2:18:12 AM  
My sex-powered car still gets better mileage.

/and the fuel is free
2006-07-30 2:18:56 AM  
rawkus: They have those too at the Jersey Shore. Some boardwalks even have Surrey lanes.
2006-07-30 2:19:34 AM  
In five years, they will be the proud parents of some embarrassed kids.
2006-07-30 2:19:53 AM  
SockMonkeyHolocaust: Good, just in time for Bugsy Malone to pick up Tallulah for their big date tonight.

Sweet reference!

First thing that came to my mind as well.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-07-30 2:22:12 AM  
OK everyone sing!

"Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang,
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
We love you.
And, in
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
What we'll do.
Near, far, in our motor car
Oh what a happy time we'll spend.
Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four fendered friend.
Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four fendered friend."
2006-07-30 2:22:59 AM  
This needs to be a photoshop.
2006-07-30 2:27:54 AM  
Oh and:
[image from too old to be available]

/yeah, I know she was only 14
//so was I, once
///prolly still going to hell
2006-07-30 2:32:46 AM  
2006-07-30 2:45:44 AM  
2006-07-30 2:55:18 AM  
Those crazy Swiss and their Zero Emissions Machine
2006-07-30 3:04:29 AM  
Now for a car powered by self-satisfaction.

2006-07-30 3:11:02 AM  
bwahaha that thing looks so retarded.
huge metal frame on those dinky weak wheels, they wouldn't be pedaling that wagon uphill.

no wonder they arent produced anymore, what kind of dreamland are you supposed to ride that thing through?
2006-07-30 3:14:50 AM  

[image from too old to be available]
2006-07-30 3:24:45 AM  
By the look of that kid he needs to pedal for a few miles.

Although I would prefer the children liquified and put into a tank.
2006-07-30 3:30:06 AM  
$5 says the fuel for the family in the form of water and food costs far more per gallon than the gas would.
2006-07-30 3:30:46 AM  
That thing looks fun. What's with the outfits, though? I truly, honestly, glanced at the shot and thought it was a publicity photo for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I don't mean I thougth it was on that level, I mean I honestly thought it was the cast.
2006-07-30 3:43:36 AM  
Tie-dye should be illegal unless Cherry Garcia is involved.
2006-07-30 4:16:20 AM  
YEah, but what's the insurance on those things
2006-07-30 5:15:29 AM  
HiFiGuy: Those crazy Swiss and their Zero Emissions Machine

Those lack an engine. If you add the engine, you'll find it emits plenty of Co2. And, sometimes, farts.
2006-07-30 5:24:27 AM  
Yeah, but how many miles per kid does it get? With declining birth rates, kids aren't just lying around these days. Does the mileage get worse if you use low octane poor kids?
2006-07-30 5:29:14 AM  
Any surprise the dad's email is something at

$6K for a quadcycle to move your portly family about Portland? Buy the gas so we don't have to see you sweat.

2006-07-30 5:32:05 AM  

who is that? should I know her?
2006-07-30 6:16:04 AM  

"The Lambs, they were screaming"
2006-07-30 6:20:20 AM  
It must be a terrible genetic problem that this family lives so healthy and (aside from the little brother) looks like typical inactive Americans.
2006-07-30 6:52:46 AM  
Is the one in the purple shirt a boy or a girl? Can anyone else not ID it?

Coinoperatedboy that's Jodie Foster. From Taxi Driver. Where she played a 14 year old hooker.

2006-07-30 7:08:29 AM  
I see that YouPeopleAreCrazy already beat me too it but I'll post it anyway because it's a different photo. Someone stared a tour around Boston with these things. I feel bad for the poor bastard who has to ride backwards through the whole thing.

They are maddeningly slow and take up an entire lane of already congested traffic. Thank god I just took a new job in the suburbs!

[image from too old to be available]
2006-07-30 7:37:11 AM  
Where is the whip? How are you supposed to go any faster without a farking bullwhip?
2006-07-30 7:48:36 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Just a fad folks - move along....
2006-07-30 8:09:32 AM  
saw one of them there conferencebike contraptions in NYC - my cabbie darn near creamed the thing when the teenagers couldn't muscle it into gear.
\too early for dead baby jokes?
2006-07-30 8:17:15 AM  
I wish I could bottle up my 4-year-old's energy and use it instead of gas....
2006-07-30 8:44:12 AM  
Yabba-Dabba Doo!
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