Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)   Does stabbing another man in the ass qualify as self defense? Let's find out   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

5775 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2006 at 2:51 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

71 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2006-07-18 11:19:59 AM  
probably depends on what you stab him with.
2006-07-18 11:22:11 AM  
it's called "turkish revenge".
2006-07-18 11:23:31 AM  
it is if he's trying to sit on you
2006-07-18 11:26:19 AM  
I try self-defense on my SO all the time but she ain't having it.
2006-07-18 11:28:15 AM  
In Bozeman it's like asking the guy out
2006-07-18 11:34:26 AM  
It's called sodomy and it's illegal.

Well, in some states at least
2006-07-18 01:37:40 PM  
The victim's name is Dick Cole? No wonder he got stabbed in the ass.
2006-07-18 02:53:00 PM  
If you punch a drunk guy in the ass, he'll shiat his pants.
2006-07-18 02:53:41 PM  
2006-07-18 02:54:30 PM  
Well, he assed for it. This happens when trouble rears its ugly head. I hope everything will end will, butt I doubt it.

/The DA said it was an easy case to crack.
2006-07-18 02:54:41 PM  
2006-07-18 02:55:07 PM  
Mutual combat by idiots. Dismiss the charges or charge them both.
2006-07-18 02:55:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2006-07-18 02:55:35 PM  
Ah whone
Ah Tahoo
Ah three...
2006-07-18 02:55:36 PM  
he's comin' right for us?
[image from too old to be available]
2006-07-18 02:55:39 PM  
If he were running at you ass-first.
2006-07-18 02:56:01 PM  
If his bum is on your lips, well then yes.
2006-07-18 02:57:07 PM  
If so...
This guy
[image from too old to be available]

is a Self Defender to the max!
2006-07-18 02:58:20 PM  
"Cole got out of his vehicle and told Farmer to slow down.

Farmer told police he "might have" responded by yelling, "Who the F*** are you?"

Cole, described as "big and burley" in court records, approached the driver's side of Farmer's vehicle and hit Farmer in the face.

Farmer grabbed a hunting knife from behind his seat to protect himself and got out of his vehicle."

"Farmer later told police he intended to kill Cole."
Yeah, sounds like self defense to me. How about roll up your window and drive away? Getting out of your car seems like the exact opposite of self defense.
2006-07-18 02:59:54 PM  
around here we call it fueling your car.
2006-07-18 03:01:59 PM  
Only if it's the Squirrel Master doing the stabbin'!!
2006-07-18 03:03:00 PM  
No way this can be a real story about a guy getting stabbed in the ass when his name is basically Dick Hole.
2006-07-18 03:03:40 PM  
Reminds me of the worst "road-rager" ever. Just the other day some dork on a crotch rocket type motorcycle in front of me felt I was following too closely. So the idiot slams on his brake!

Ok, in a car, maybe. But don't pull that stunt on a bike you idiot!

Darwinism will ensue for that one for sure. Just a matter of time.
2006-07-18 03:03:48 PM  
StrangeCock beat me to the punch.

2006-07-18 03:04:30 PM  
wine bottle... ok, hangers... maybe, but.. paint samples?
2006-07-18 03:05:12 PM  
That guy is a pain in the ass.

/kill me now
2006-07-18 03:05:16 PM  
Ha! I got stabbed in the ass in a bar fight in Singapore back in 90'.

I was hammered drunk in a bar called TGIF. Great place, total meat market packed with easy chicks looking for an
American to bang. So anyway, I thought that a guy passed out at the bar was a friend of mine, so I tried to wake him up. He wouldn't lift his head, so I did the senseble thing: I smacked him in the back of the head. Well, the guy looks up at me, and I don't know him. Next thing I know, I got a solid kick to the balls for my trouble.

It was on at that point. I have been in quite a few bar fights, and this one was a doozy. Somehow, I had the guy by the throat bent backwards over the brass rail around the dance floor. As I pulled my fist back to piledrive his face, I got tackled from behind by a group of his buddies and bouncers. Of course, I got thrown out, so I walked to the next bar that was on the 6th floor.

As I was sitting there, my butt cheek started to itch. I gave it a scratch, and then I saw my hand was covered in blood. Nice, deep slash. Never saw it, never felt it happen. Took 10 stitches to close, and I have a cute scar on me bum.
2006-07-18 03:05:54 PM  
I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Florida, if someone reaches into your vehicle and assualts you, you have every right to defend yourself.

A friend of mine was nearly sideswiped by some idiot. Her response was to yell "stupid biatch" and give her the finger. Said idiot got out of her car at the redlight and leaned into the window of my friends car and punched her. She promptly got out and laid the smackdown to her. The cops had to drag her off the other chick. Not only did the idiot get charged with assualt, she wore a serious butt kicking to boot
2006-07-18 03:07:39 PM  
If he's fat enough and he's trying to sit on you, yeah, that's self-defense.
2006-07-18 03:08:15 PM  
Detour: Lets

2006-07-18 03:08:36 PM  
It's not just self defense, it qualifies you for special legal status in many places.
2006-07-18 03:09:31 PM  

Ten stitches? Bah! I've done worse to MYSELF with a knife!

//don't show off to cute girls
///hey, she stayed the night with me (in the ER).
2006-07-18 03:09:35 PM  
FarkinHostile: I have been in quite a few bar fights

Why does this not surprise me?
2006-07-18 03:10:21 PM  
Getting out of the car during a "road rage" incident is an act of aggression. Short of actual ramming or firing a gun, there's no way to escalate otherwise. There's nothing any person needs to say. Call the cops and leave the area is the only right choice anything else and you are willing combatant with all the associated risks.

So anybody that does get out and approach a window that is not a uniformed police officer should expect to get shot/killed/ass-stabbed/beaten.

/Of course, if you are Dick Cole, it's sort of inevitable that something like that happens... too bad it wasn't with snakes or something. "Dick Cole ass slithered" has sort of a ring to it...
2006-07-18 03:12:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-07-18 03:12:59 PM  
Our date was just a waste of time
The thought of it is like a knife,

So if you think to try it once more
Don't call again: it steals my life.
2006-07-18 03:16:03 PM  
debug: so when someone hits you in the face, you just walk away? Are you Amish or something?

Anyway, the real mystery here is, how did the big guy break his collar bone?
2006-07-18 03:16:51 PM  
I can picture it now:

Big Mike: "So, what are you in for?"

R. Farmer: "I stabbed a guy in the ass."

Big Mike grins, unzips pants.
2006-07-18 03:20:20 PM  
So, Is that a knife in your pocket...
2006-07-18 03:22:22 PM  
oh billy!
2006-07-18 03:24:13 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

/Chicken Cow?
2006-07-18 03:24:46 PM  
St00pidN00b: It's called sodomy and it's illegal.

Well, in some states at least

Well, N00b, you can always plea-bargain it down to "Following too closely."
2006-07-18 03:25:15 PM  
Big Mike grins, unzips pants.

2006-07-18 03:26:12 PM  
FarkinHostile: I have been in quite a few bar fights

Why does this not surprise me?

Come on, untrustworthy, my username is farkinhostile. Would you expect no less?
2006-07-18 03:35:11 PM  
Wow. A Taco John's, an official misspelling ("burley") AND someone got stabbed in the ass?

I just love Fark.
2006-07-18 03:36:50 PM  
St00pidN00b, see Lawrence and Garner v. Texas

Why don't I have a Singapore bar fight story. Mine are all: this one time we were at a bar down town... but when I woke up she ended up being fat.

FarkinHostile, is like royal tenenbaum or something.
2006-07-18 03:37:45 PM  
If the guy was clinching up at the time then I'd say "yes", that's self defense.
2006-07-18 03:37:46 PM  

I think the question you meant to ask is "Would you expect *any* less?".

/please don't hit me
2006-07-18 03:41:07 PM  

I think the question you meant to ask is "Would you expect *any* less?".

Heh, I kept sounding it out in my head, and I couldn't get it to sound right. Thanks, I'll remember that.
2006-07-18 03:42:40 PM  
Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "knife" with "wang" in the article. Let's see the results:

Man stabs another man in buttocks during drive-through lane brawl

By TED SULLIVAN Chronicle Staff Writer

A Bozeman man told a judge Monday he was defending himself when he stabbed another man in the buttocks during a weekend fight in Taco John's drive-through lane.

Cole, described as "big and burley" in court records, approached the driver's side of Farmer's vehicle and hit Farmer in the face.

Farmer grabbed a hunting penis from behind his seat to protect himself and got out of his vehicle.

As he stood up, Cole placed him in a choke hold. Moments later, both men fell to the ground and rolled around.

At some point, Farmer stabbed Cole in the buttocks.

Farmer later told police he intended to kill Cole. Eventually, he placed the wang in his car and waited for officers to arrive.

Cole was taken to Bozeman Deaconess Hospital with a stab wound and a broken collar bone. Farmer was arrested and taken to jail.

In court Monday, Deputy County Attorney John Worsfold asked the judge to hold Farmer in jail on $25,000 bail to protect the community.

"After a scuffle, the defendant put an 8- to 10-inch wang into the buttocks of the victim," he told the court.

But Farmer's attorney, Public Defender Jacey Messer, asked the judge to release her client on his own recognizance.
Displayed 50 of 71 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.