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(Fox News)   Step 1: Zarqawi found alive after bombing. Step 3: Condition quickly upgraded to 'dead'   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
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26936 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2006 at 9:32 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

271 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-06-09 09:47:07 AM  
I hope all of his virgins look like Roseanne Barr and Bee Arthur.

Oh hell, YES!

2006-06-09 09:47:45 AM  
There's something Stoogishly slapstick about him rolling off the gurney trying to escape.
2006-06-09 09:47:45 AM  
i'm undecided as to whether or not they would keep him prisoner and tell the world he's dead. i just hope when they plant his corpse in the dry earth of iraq, the give him a pigskin for a burial wrap.

/no 72 virgins for you. one year.
//or eternity....whatever
2006-06-09 09:47:50 AM  
We bombed him probably because we did not have enough time and the resources in place for a capture operation.

Snag and grab operations are very difficult especially if your target will probably off himself if he thinks he will be caught you need overwhelming force at the right time and place if you don't have it a lot of the good guys would get killed.

So if they decided operationally a snag and grab was a no go the only other thing to do would be to off him.
2006-06-09 09:47:52 AM  
Hopefully they played a little football with him before he went to Allah...he looks like the kind of guy who could hold the pigskin quite well. ;-)
2006-06-09 09:48:07 AM  
interesting... for a second I saw the article, then "page cannot be found"

2006-06-09 09:48:41 AM  
Step 2: A shovelful of dirt and wait 5 minutes.
2006-06-09 09:48:45 AM  

2006-06-09 09:48:54 AM  
Too bad.

He could've had his own show on Air America.
2006-06-09 09:49:13 AM  
just another dead muslim extremist... my heart bleeds none.
2006-06-09 09:49:18 AM  
I think it's obvious that we really did capture him and bombe the house after we grabbed him. Of course that means we drugged him and used make up to make the picture of him 'dead' and we are of course torturing him right now violating all of his rights.

It's a fact! Cover-up!

/not really
//just copy and pasted the theory from above
///slashies for effect
2006-06-09 09:49:37 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
/begone, before someone drops a house on you
2006-06-09 09:50:35 AM  
Lead poisoning? Kinetic energy poisoning?
2006-06-09 09:50:42 AM  
I'm glad the bastard is dead because after $500 billion, 2400 American lives, my phone getting tapped, Muslims pouring over the border with the Mexicans, and my daughter's Biddy Baby knapsack getting searched for bombs commonly found on 7 year olds, we finally got something to show for it.

I hate Bush, hate everybody that works for him, hate almost every single policy he's been responsible for, and am beginning to hate the same damn country I served in the Marines for because of what we've become in the name of the Republican party (which I'm still registered as). But I am glad this motherfarker is horizontal.

Good job troops. Very, very well done.
2006-06-09 09:50:44 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
We've been waiting for you!!

2006-06-09 09:50:51 AM  
moller: boobies

Ha ha.
2006-06-09 09:50:52 AM  
What happens in Gitmo stays in Gitmo
2006-06-09 09:51:06 AM  
Hero: If and To whomever upgraded his condition.
2006-06-09 09:51:23 AM  
They should have made a beheading video starring this piece of shiat.

Does anyone have the Post Cover with him saying, "Warm up the Virgins?"
2006-06-09 09:51:24 AM  
2006-06-09 09:51:38 AM  
2006-06-09 09:51:47 AM  
It would be neat if we find out that the pilot of the plane that dropped the bomb was female and a Jew.

/ also would be nice if they smeared the bomb with bacon.
2006-06-09 09:52:02 AM  
The Bush Administration is running out of boogeymen to keep the American people in fear.
2006-06-09 09:52:28 AM  
I think the intelligence came from some other sites they raided at the same time... heard something about that.

I'm sure if he didn't die in the blast, then the overpressure / shock wave likely did a number on some of his more vital internal organs, so I could see a scenario in which he lived briefly while bleeding out into his abdomen from a grade IV splenic rupture or something...

As far as intact cinder blocks, I think that counts as landscape design in modern bagdhad...

Still, we killed him, but two more will take his place... it's like some sort of terrorist hydra... Remember when Israel killed those important PLO leaders back whenever? Cleared their terrorist problem right up, didn't it?

2006-06-09 09:52:28 AM  
However it happened, it was probably better that he was taken out of the picture.

No 72 virgins for this guy. Not even slightly used sorority girls from Ole Miss.
2006-06-09 09:52:32 AM  
TFA: No one is likely to be awarded the reward money since the United States is probably not going to give the cash to members of Zarqawi's own terror group.

Does that sound sorta sucky? I mean I understand, but it struck me as odd.
2006-06-09 09:53:08 AM  
We caught him alive, turned him over to the Iraqui authorities for detention, and he died in custody. there is no step 2 missing.
2006-06-09 09:53:18 AM  
We could always use you moops
2006-06-09 09:53:23 AM  
be really cool if they run across the body of Osama...

can you say, raise that support poll Mr. Bush ?
2006-06-09 09:54:13 AM  

He could've had his own show on Air America.

Ha! I get it. You are saying that liberals support terrorists! Brilliant!

Seriously hough, if you give any credence to that line of thought you're a twerp and will be treated accordingly.

So... do ya?
2006-06-09 09:54:16 AM  
The first 500,000,000 Monty Python references were funny. Now, meh.

taglius: //obscure?

You have got to be farkin kidding me...
2006-06-09 09:54:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

/step two
2006-06-09 09:54:22 AM  
"it's just a flesh wound"

/this would sound better if I could type in "British"
2006-06-09 09:54:31 AM  
Fox News.... who broke this story... is now saying that "homicide vests" were found at Zarqawi's "unsafe house."

I love that channel. It's quality comedy.
2006-06-09 09:54:45 AM  
yogsothoth: shrøedinger's zarqawi?

2006-06-09 09:54:58 AM  
.S. forces immediately identified him as Zarqawi but were unable to interrogate him because he died "shortly after" being pulled from the rubble, Caldwell said.

Why the quotes on two words? (well, to make it sound "suspicious", of course

why not say

... unable to "interrogate" him because he "died" shortly after being pulled from the "rubble"...
2006-06-09 09:55:20 AM  
mercator_psi: From TFA: No one is likely to be awarded the reward money since the United States is probably not going to give the cash to members of Zarqawi's own terror group.

NPR said this morning the person would be getting the $25 million reward. In fact, if they don't give it, it makes all the other rewards meaningless, an dthe next guy in line won't step up to grab one.
2006-06-09 09:55:25 AM  
SnowCrashed: Nah. That's all we would need... another Saddam-like trial. It's better he's dead and not able to millk court appearances, etc. Those troops who found Saddam should have done the same thing: Say he put up a fight and brought him out dead. Would have been better all around. While a dead martyr is a problem, a living one is even worse.

If Zarqawi was found alive, I guarantee he would have been on a plane to some eastern european country or 3rd world ally post-haste...
2006-06-09 09:55:30 AM  
Step 2 - Drag him through the streets, burn his body, dismember said body, kick him a few times, pose with a she-male soldier on top of him, photgraph and video the whole thing, and then Step 3. Oh, yeah, behad the body on Al Jazeera.

Oh, wait, we don't do that? I must have mistaken us for the turrists.
2006-06-09 09:55:39 AM  
If he was only MOSTLY dead, they could have taken him to Miracle Max.
2006-06-09 09:55:41 AM  

The Bush Administration is running out of boogeymen to keep the American people in fear.

Do you ever enter a thread without attempting to troll? And please, there are always new bogeymen to invent whatever political course you follow.
2006-06-09 09:56:14 AM  
Nothing mysterious about it. He just fell off the gurney. Onto some bullets.
2006-06-09 09:57:20 AM  
Theobold Holsopple: So... do ya?

What a lame, boring life you must have.
2006-06-09 09:57:29 AM  
Give the $25 mil bounty to the farker who dropped the bombs on his ass.
2006-06-09 09:57:38 AM  
simple case of lead poisoning.
[image from too old to be available]
2006-06-09 09:57:41 AM  
Also, for the record, the Army press guy said there was "no evidence Zarqawi [had been] shot."
2006-06-09 09:59:09 AM  
There didn't seem to much in the way of an explosion. No real sign of fire

I know what I'm about to say is contrary to anything Hollywood has ever shown us, but... BOMBS DON'T MAKE FIREBALLS!! Unless they rupture a gas main or find another volatile liquid and set it on fire. The 500 lbs bombs also don't make huge craters in the ground. The most evidence you might see of burning is some charring in the immediate vicinity of the explosion

Papers and/or computers that survived two 500-lb bombs?

I've seen it happen before. Like I said, there's no fire, so it's not unreasonable that papers would survive. It's unlikely that a computer would, but not impossible
2006-06-09 10:00:33 AM  
OK, you've tested twerp positive.
2006-06-09 10:01:06 AM  
Enjoy hell, buddy
2006-06-09 10:01:44 AM  
If there is anything funny about this, it's those who think this is propaganda.
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