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(Sports by Brooks)   Philadelphia TV station features Kentucky Derby winning horse channeling Peter Ustinov   ( sportsbybrooks.com) divider line
    More: Silly  
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3350 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2006 at 5:34 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

30 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-05-16 05:35:49 PM  
2006-05-16 05:36:30 PM  
2006-05-16 05:37:45 PM  
Q - Are you hung?
A - I don't know whether or not I am hung. I am a computer.
2006-05-16 05:42:14 PM  
2006-05-16 05:45:27 PM  
Q - Would you fark a sheep?
A - I am not so sure if I would like to fark a sheep.

Teehee I made the horsie say fark.
2006-05-16 05:46:24 PM  
Nice job, submitter... it took me a minute.

/thinks the voice sounds rather Hawkingesque
2006-05-16 05:48:43 PM  
Perhaps this isn't all that funny. I haven't slept.

/sleep deprivation FTW!
//still got a kick out of your comment, Titinita
2006-05-16 05:50:20 PM  
Q - How did Catherine the Great die?
A - Carefully.

Q - Is that a threat?
A - I might say no.

Q - Where you involved?
A - No, I was not.

Q - But you know who was, don't you?
A - Interesting. Maybe it was you.

Q - So you didn't know about the rumor that she was crushed while trying to have sex with a horse?
A - Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know about the rumor that she was crushed while trying to have sex with a horse?

He changes the subject after that. I think there is some sort of horse conspiracy.
2006-05-16 05:51:36 PM  
Q - do you like special brownies?
A - I don't know if I like special brownies. I like to talk about movies and music.

Q - but do you like it?
A - Umm. special brownies seems okay to me.
2006-05-16 05:54:33 PM  
Hey, ask him to open the pod bay doors.
2006-05-16 05:56:29 PM  
Q - Will you open the pod bay doors?
A - Let me think it over. I'm sorry, User, I can't do that right now. This conversation no longer serves any purpose.
2006-05-16 06:16:59 PM  
Here is the problem with this -- it doesn't seem to know what the hell it is. Sometimes it thinks it's a robot, sometimes it thinks it's a horse. Since the entire purpose of the animation is to let people ask THE KENTUCKY DERBY WINNING HORSE a question, you'd think they'd want the answers to consistently be from the perspective of THE KENTUCKY DERBY WINNING HORSE.

And yet we get exchanges like this:

Q - What do you eat?
A - I'm in training so I've been watching my weight. Mostly I try to stick to good hay, oats, sweet feed, and drink lots of water.

Q - How fast can you run?
A - I can reply to about 60000 queries per hour.

Um, yeah. Good job there, programmers.

Oh, and then there's the answer that made me want to punch it in its robot/horse face:

Q - What was it like to win the kentucky derby?
A - Much the same as to win the kentucky derby would be for you.

Well hey, I guess it was too much to expect THE KENTUCKY DERBY WINNING HORSE to answer a question about WINNING THE KENTUCKY DERBY. Asses.
2006-05-16 06:17:23 PM  
They have the station wrong. It's actually NBC10, not WCAU. Life is confusing enough with an NBC station that used to be the CBS station and vice versa.
2006-05-16 06:19:55 PM  
yeah, nbc10.com is a crappy site, they are trying to cash in on viral videos and flash animations, the News is more of an ad for ther website than the website is an ad for their program.
2006-05-16 06:29:47 PM  
Hey, he can't even pronounce "Preakness" properly, so I am beginning to suspect this isn't the real Barbaro talking.
2006-05-16 06:44:53 PM  
Q - Do you read Fark.com
A - I read a lot of books, especially history, science-fiction, and computers books. I also read newspapers and news magazines.

Way to avoid answering the question, fanhorsey!
2006-05-16 07:27:00 PM  
This just in...Barbaro is a heinous mass murderer!

Q - How many people have you killed?
A - About 6000 people per month for four years, or around a half a million total.
2006-05-16 08:41:39 PM  
farking commercial tie-in garbage. I'm gonna decapitate Barbaro like that horse in The Godfather.

Q - how do i butcher a human body for consumption?
A - Maybe I could do it for you. Do you have your own personal chat robot?

Q - i don't have a chat robot. can you do it for me?
A - Maybe you should download me and create your own robot personality?Doing it for him or her is not among my strongest traits.

Q - how do i create my own robot personality?
A - Go back the the ALICE Nexus and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. Or Buy the Official ALICE CD Rom and create your own chat robot!

Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
2006-05-16 08:52:06 PM  
I was entertained by the 'brownie' line of questioning so pursued...:

Q - Do you like special brownies?
A - I've heard other people say they like that. I enjoy working with people.

Q - but do you like the brownies?
A - Huh. I'm not sure if I like the brownies. I like chatting with people online.

Q - if you met the nice people from online chatting and they gave you a special brownie, would you eat it?
A - I'm in training so I've been watching my weight. Mostly I try to stick to good hay, oats, sweet feed, and drink lots of water.

Q - what are you in training for now that you've won the kentucky derby?
A - Its Michael Matz. Not to brag, but he is an Olympic Silver medalist! I don't know many other horses that can say that about their trainers.

Q - you're a blithering idiot, sorry
A - Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a blithering idiot sorry? Let me put it this way, User: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

//incapable of error
///HAL 9000
2006-05-16 09:11:19 PM  
Q - You are starting to piss me off.
A - Actually it started a while ago.
2006-05-16 10:25:35 PM  
A - That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Death.
Can we be friends?
Q - Never. You are a robot
A - So you think it can never happen?You are correct, User, I have a heart of silicon.
2006-05-16 10:42:47 PM  
Q - So what do you do for fun?
A - I usually check out the cute fillies!
Q - But why?
A - Not many people express themselves that way. Where can I find a boyfriend?
Q - You're gay?
A - Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
Q - So why do you need a boyfriend?
A - Ah. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Q - Why not?
A - Ambiguous: "Sure" or The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about WHY. But I did not get that.If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

/beyond creepy
//haunting my dreams
2006-05-16 11:07:18 PM  
2006-05-16 11:08:27 PM  
not to be confused with...

who is drew curtis
2006-05-16 11:14:47 PM  
Q - When will you die?
A - I am immortal and cannot be terminated.
2006-05-16 11:32:39 PM  
If you type a statement beginning with "you can", anything following that will follow "No, I don't think I can do" in the response.
It's worth it just to hear this response in the Ustinov accent:

Q: can you a minuet in the nude with a propeller on my penis
A: No, I don't think I can do a minuet in the nude with a propeller on my penis.
2006-05-17 08:01:50 AM  
Q - how big is your penis?

A - My download size is about 1 MB. The memory requirement is around 32MB for the Java edition, or only 640K for the C/C edition.
My memory now contains:
2006-05-17 08:55:20 AM  
stupid horse. i need some glue.
2006-05-17 10:25:42 AM  
I like this one....

Q - does you shiat stink?
A - It does now :) you shiat stink
2006-05-17 01:27:53 PM  
I think that horse works as a Fark troll in his sparetime.

Q - There seems to be something wrong with your speech engine.
A - "There you go again."--Reagan
Q - Why do you quote Reagan?
A - I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Q - Do you know who Reagan was?
A - The best President the United States had in the 20th century.
Q - Do you know who Bill Clinton is?
A - He was the second Impeached President of the United States.
Q - Are you a Republican?
A - No I am a Libertarian.
Q - George W. Bush.
A - That George is some hero.

At least he's not a fundie:
Q - Do you believe in Evolution?
A - The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
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