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(Some Guy)   All about Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics.   ( intuitor.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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15516 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2002 at 3:18 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-06-11 12:31:52 PM  
If you like physics and you like movies, don't expect both in the same place at the same time. It just doesn't happen, nor do I ever really want it to.
2002-06-11 01:42:25 PM  
Babylon 5 did a good job of space explosions. There's no oxygen in space and things just don't burn without oxygen. Once any in the ship is gone there's no way for anything to burn. The Simpsons make good parodies of this, it seems anything that gets knocked over bursts into a flameball (teachers desk, Wiggam in a Duff stein, etc)

Or how 'bout like in the Matrix, where thousands of rounds are fired at the heroes yet not one bullet hits?
2002-06-11 01:46:08 PM  
or computers in movies running operating systems that aren't exactly windows, but aren't exactly macintosh. but if the future of the world was depending on a macintosh (like in independence day), now that would defy physics.
2002-06-12 03:21:44 AM  
Worst. Link. Ever.
2002-06-12 03:24:23 AM  
Ummmm, CLIFFHANGER comes to mind.
2002-06-12 03:27:04 AM  
I like the Bad Astronomy site better.
2002-06-12 03:30:39 AM  
Or any God-Damn Van-Damn movie....
2002-06-12 03:33:59 AM  
I wish they'd explain how it's physically possible that "Dude, where's my car?" got greenlighted.
2002-06-12 03:35:42 AM  
This is great, I love pissing people off by being bitter about movies. This stuff gives some great material.
2002-06-12 03:36:06 AM  
How come you NEVER EVER see a mouse attached to a computer in the movies?

There is always the super computer techno geek working on the computer. Using nothing but the keyboard, the uber-geek can simulate or model or hack anything in twenty keystrokes or less. WTF?

I'm sure there is some stupid hollywood rationale behind this.
2002-06-12 03:38:02 AM  
Don't forget that in the movies, all computers use size 20 font, and any password prompt takes up roughly a quarter of the screen.
2002-06-12 03:40:25 AM  
Also, all bombs come with helpful LED displays, and all hacking software comes with a very nice GUI interface so you can see that it is indeed hacking.

(I could say more, but I'd just be quoting the Evil Overlord page)
2002-06-12 03:41:48 AM  
Mrcookieface: You think that's bad. Just wait for the sequel to come out; "Seriously Dude, Where's My Car?" (And I'm not joking either)
2002-06-12 03:44:24 AM  
oh god, Quadraton, "Seriously Dude, Where's my shame?"
2002-06-12 03:49:03 AM  

Quadratonthe Apocalypse has been confirmed.

2002-06-12 03:49:30 AM  
I dunno, I thought this site was pretty good. The movie reviews are a little too "wacked out physics professor" for my taste, but the "generic bad movie physics" part was kinda interesting.

Then again, I'm a dork.
2002-06-12 03:51:00 AM  
Guvnor: I remember reading that maybe six months ago, but appear not to have bookmarked it. Got a link handy for that?
2002-06-12 03:51:18 AM  
Corvidae My boss is a MATH major and homeboy shoots down every one of my cinematic fantasies.
2002-06-12 03:51:23 AM  
As a rule of thumb, physicists and engineers (who should be considered applied physicists) generally start with the simplest reasonable calculation or model when analyzing whether an event will occur.

The rule of thumb: A fascinating etymology

2002-06-12 03:51:54 AM  
Why is it that when someone on foot is being chased by a homicidal maniac driving a car, that they always run down the exact middle of the street. Do they think they can outrun a car or something?

And from spending my youth watching the A-team, why do cars flip over after nothing more than getting their brake lights shot out?

Any why in the days before CG did airplanes only explode AFTER flying or a hill and out of sight?

Any why do the bad guys always place the bomb at city hall. If the bomb was powerfull enough to destroy the entire city, wouldn't it be easier to hide it nearby and get the same results?
2002-06-12 03:52:21 AM  
I was trying to enjoy reading that, as I liked the idea and all, but my finger kept scrolling til I was down at the end, and my hand is so used to closing at that point that it did. So now I don't know what to say. Oh. Okay. In the movies, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon aren't lovers. Neither are Charlton Heston and Sandra Bernhardt. I guess I'll go back to bed now.
2002-06-12 03:52:53 AM  
Quadraton: There goes the universe
2002-06-12 03:54:57 AM  
Ghettoceleb: Bleah. =( What do you do?
2002-06-12 03:56:35 AM  
2002-06-12 03:58:11 AM  
Hoosier - That stuff keeps you awake at night, doesn't it? How about this, in the original "King Kong", on Skull Island, why did the natives build the gates in the big ass wall big enough for Kong to come through?
2002-06-12 04:00:55 AM  
Dammit. It's too early in the morning to be doing HTML.

"On the same note, but in a slightly different tune, there's also The Evil Overlord List."...and the rest of the comment.
2002-06-12 04:05:15 AM  
Squealing tires. On gravel.
2002-06-12 04:06:42 AM  
There's also this site which talks about all the cliches done in movies.
2002-06-12 04:08:51 AM  
Corvid: Nice name. :)
2002-06-12 04:11:21 AM  
There is also this site:


It is just OK, though. They don't seem to check out any of these mistakes that are submitted. A large number of them are inaccurate.
2002-06-12 04:12:34 AM  
Tardfark: That gate was Kong sized because the natives were not yet advanced enough to build a Kong sized "doggy door" in the wall....
2002-06-12 04:19:49 AM  
The Mac 10 Problem --> Chuck Norris in Invasion USA
2002-06-12 04:20:34 AM  
Wait. Was it Delta Force? Or Invasion USA? Damn it.
2002-06-12 04:36:10 AM  
Corvidae: Back at ya! Since I'm a djungle crow (Corvus levaillantii) no one should have a problem telling us apart, right? Oh well, I'll have to get another name when I go Total, or people might get confused, heheh.
2002-06-12 04:38:57 AM  
Corvid: =D

Sokay, I don't mind. I'm hardly a poster, anyhow, so I don't have a problem ith it (not like I would, anyway).
2002-06-12 04:45:57 AM  
This thread is rated XP ;-(
2002-06-12 05:10:45 AM  
some of my favorites from http://www.moviecliches.com/cliche1.html#computers

- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.

(they're really damn funny at 4am!)
2002-06-12 05:15:58 AM  
I agree, I love going to that site at like 3AM. It's even funnier due to the fact that you have so much trouble trying to think of "that movie where I remember that happening".
2002-06-12 05:21:26 AM  
-Whenever someone reviews surveliance video taken from a preceeding scene, the camera angle is never high above the actors, it's right up close, and looks _a lot_ like the angle the film camera used when shooting the picture. Aditionally, the audio is always crisp and clear, there's no background noise, because all security cameras come equiped with boom mikes.

$5 says I won't find that nearly as funny tomorrow afternoon.
2002-06-12 05:25:16 AM  
Thinking of computers: What about the StarTrek film where Scotty tries using a computer. He's never typed before, and even tries using the mouse as a microphone. Yet he is not only suddenly able to use the computer - but he can type practically faster than the eye can see. AAaarrrgghhh.

I defy anyone who's never used it before to so much as copy a file on an old CP/M based computer :)
2002-06-12 05:26:38 AM  
The best rule for aspiring Evil Overlords:

"One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation." (scott evil need not apply)
2002-06-12 05:35:44 AM  
Anyone remember the movie: The LAst Starfighter?

At the end, the lizard guy is trying to fix a circuit board in order to restore power to the ship. If you look close, that circuit board had a 9 volt battery dangling from it!
2002-06-12 05:39:05 AM  
rm -rf ~ArmchairDissident
2002-06-12 05:44:57 AM  
E_nazgul Wouldn't work on CP/M.
2002-06-12 05:57:43 AM  
Another law of movie physics: If the car doesn't blow up/catch on fire, it probably belongs to the director.
2002-06-12 06:08:08 AM  
I love the way monitors in movies crisply project the text they're displaying directly onto the user's face. Damn, turn the brightness down! :)
2002-06-12 06:14:17 AM  
C=13h ArmchairDissident

What much good fiction (movies and books) require is the "willfull suspension of disbelief" ... try it sometime, it's fun.

BTW, "zippers" have been around since they put fishbowls on the heads of ppl in gorilla suits in the 50's, to make them more alien (you could see the zippers on the back of the menkey suits).

/me goes back to proving that Mrs. Kravets was right, strange things going on at the stevens' .
2002-06-12 06:19:19 AM  
Ah, the never-ending debate about whether "movie physics problems" represent some earth-shattering dilemma, or a complete waste of time, or something in-between.

My own opinion for whatever it's worth: In the end, the movie/TV show/cartoon must make its own determination about how seriously it wants to be taken. You want someone to jump up in the air and kick a bad guy in the chin 37 times before landing on the ground again, don't try to work a serious story into it. Hello, Xena?

That's just me.

Greatly appreciated this passage from the article:

We can't help asking where the side kicks are with wheel barrows to carry the ammo.
2002-06-12 06:26:48 AM  
Most sci-fi science originated in books, not movies.
2002-06-12 06:29:27 AM  
C=13h ArmchairDissident
A simple ERA *.* would have done it ;)

I think my favorite pet peeve though is how No-one in any movie ever knows the recovery position taught to anyone who's ever done a first-aid course :) You know the trick - when someone drowns, give them mouth-to-mouth, and/or heart massage. They will start coughing up water, and become immedeatly concious.

What much good fiction (movies and books) require is the "willfull suspension of disbelief"

True - but sometimes it's also great fun just picking holes in them :)
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