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(Some Guy)   Secret Service alertly thwarts a threat to Bill Clinton's life -- and golf game -- by shutting down a five-year-old girl's birthday party   (reviewjournal.com) divider line
143
    More: Dumbass  
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19543 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 26 Apr 2006 at 6:59 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



143 Comments     (+0 »)


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abuttino
2006-04-26 5:21:48 PM  
This article deserves a greenlight. Quite funny

/not sumbitter
 
Kazan
2006-04-26 5:34:40 PM  
which the family wasn't angry about, infact said they would have invited expresident clinton over

just the secret service being anal.
 
IChuckPens
2006-04-26 5:34:54 PM  
abuttino

Seconded


/also not submitter
//anticipating revival of President Clinton jokes if only short-lived, if only for a day
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-04-26 5:36:35 PM  
"Sir, do not fire that rocket. We cannot have you shooting rockets at President Clinton."

Comedy gold.
 
Dancin_In_Anson
2006-04-26 5:52:32 PM  
"If we'd known it was Bill Clinton, we would have invited him to the party," said McKelvey.

He's probably pissed that they didn't...
 
Oldiron_79
2006-04-26 5:55:28 PM  
I wasn't a big fan of Clintler as Prez, but He'd probably be a blast at a party.....
 
Gwendolyn
2006-04-26 6:03:50 PM  
They didn't shut down her birthday party. They asked them not to launch off fireworks until the president was out of the way. The famly said sure and shot off the fireworks later. Christ submitter way to misrepresent in the headline.
 
Stoj
2006-04-26 6:16:58 PM  
Warning: Reading comments in this thread may require a sense of humor. Failure to maintain a sense of humor may be hazardous to your health.
 
untrustworthy
2006-04-26 6:18:46 PM  
They weren't protecting Clinton, they were protecting the little girl. After all, she was wearing a cute little blue dress.
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2006-04-26 6:38:04 PM  
Gwendolyn: Christ submitter way to misrepresent in the headline

Disclaimer: Fark is a humorous/satirical headline posting service. Anyone taking headlines posted on Fark seriously is urged to run, not walk, to the nearest store and get a life as soon as possible.

/submitter
 
boxster
2006-04-26 7:03:14 PM  
2006-04-26 05:55:28 PM Oldiron_79 [TotalFark]

I wasn't a big fan of Clintler as Prez...

Thanks for telling us. We could have never figured that out on our own.
 
moops
2006-04-26 7:04:38 PM  
Let the Clinton hating begin!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG Bill XXXlintoon raped a little girl with fireworks while ogling a porn star! Perjury!! Vince Foster!!!!
 
Crown Of Negativity
2006-04-26 7:05:27 PM  
THAT'S NOT ICING!!!
 
the_gospel_of_thomas
2006-04-26 7:05:47 PM  
I Love Clinton and feel very greatful that he's okay.
 
Darknyte7
2006-04-26 7:05:56 PM  
Wait a minute. What 5 year old has a fireworks display in observance of their birthday?
 
dg41 [OhFark]
2006-04-26 7:06:14 PM  
Dancin_In_Anson: He's probably pissed that they didn't...

Hell, with a porn star, amateur rocketry, and an overprotective secret service, I'm pissed that I didn't.
 
Snarfangel
2006-04-26 7:07:08 PM  
untrustworthy
They weren't protecting Clinton, they were protecting the little girl. After all, she was wearing a cute little blue dress.

So, they were protecting her from second-hand smokes?
 
AlienOmega
2006-04-26 7:07:43 PM  
Darknyte7: Wait a minute. What 5 year old has a fireworks display in observance of their birthday?

I was thinking the same thing. Also, at a golf course?

[/DRTFA, maybe I should have]
 
squashedbeaver
2006-04-26 7:07:44 PM  
our tax dollars in overtime...
 
Homercles_cares_not_for_beans
2006-04-26 7:08:15 PM  
Mommy, what do you do for a living?
 
Dancin_In_Anson
2006-04-26 7:08:29 PM  
dg41: Hell, with a porn star, amateur rocketry, and an overprotective secret service, I'm pissed that I didn't.


It does sound like that was the place to be eh?
 
SpoonPlz
2006-04-26 7:10:00 PM  
the_gospel_of_thomas is stinkin' Liberal!
 
Disdainful
2006-04-26 7:10:25 PM  
When the youngest toddler accidentally lets go of their balloon, that's a signal! Watch out Bill, the airstrikes are coming!

/fortunately there are plenty of bunkers to hide in
 
mount.diablo
2006-04-26 7:10:33 PM  
"28-year-old porn star Sophia Rossi, won't forget."

He let her keep the cigar as a rememberance.
 
swiftfoxlit
2006-04-26 7:12:36 PM  
I love how they said the launch was 'scrubbed'. Some days i feel like the space shuttle is a big fireworks display.
 
serutan
2006-04-26 7:12:57 PM  
One of the few SFW pics available of the girl's milftacular mom.
[image from hongdou.gxnews.com.cn too old to be available]
 
waste301
2006-04-26 7:14:13 PM  
Haha-

She named her daughter Savannah.

/tribute to the great one?
 
AlienOmega
2006-04-26 7:14:14 PM  
serutan: One of the few SFW pics available of the girl's milftacular mom.

I'd putt it.

[/best I could come up with]
 
DarkSoulNoHope
2006-04-26 7:14:58 PM  
I am sure they would have no interrupted the party if it was for Playboy. "Oh Mr Cliton, show me your rocket!"
 
Old enough to know better
2006-04-26 7:15:34 PM  
Secret Service also halted air traffic over the area. We can't have them you know, dropping engine parts on President Clinton.

Overzealous much?
 
robsul82
2006-04-26 7:17:15 PM  
It's not satire to completely misrepresent what happened in an obviously non-joking manner. Sorry, your bias is showing.

/also, your epidermis
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-04-26 7:17:16 PM  
Porn star, 18 incher shooting off, and Bill Clinton. A fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas ... oh, wait, I guess they did.
 
Maccabee
2006-04-26 7:18:03 PM  
the article is flagged DUMBASS

for Clinton?

did he direct the secret service to shut down the party?

uhhh....no. they generally act on their own

clinton haters are the dumbasses
 
karst
2006-04-26 7:18:43 PM  
I still haven't figured out why we give former presidents secret service protection. Yes they know sensitive information that a kidnapper might extract, but wouldn't it be cheaper to just tell everyone they're enjoying a sunny retirement on their private island and kill them? Sort of like Running Man's retired participants.
 
LightRider
2006-04-26 7:20:47 PM  
But, but...Bush!...
 
Geotpf
2006-04-26 7:22:31 PM  
"2006-04-26 07:05:56 PM Darknyte7

Wait a minute. What 5 year old has a fireworks display in observance of their birthday?"

One who's mother is a porn star, that's who.

/I actually RTFA
 
stoneboy
2006-04-26 7:23:14 PM  
Is it me, or does the columnist look like a pirate?
 
emotion_lotion
2006-04-26 7:23:26 PM  
My sister met Clinton at a fund raiser at her friends house in Vancouver, she said he was a cool guy. There were no missles in site.
 
Geotpf
2006-04-26 7:23:33 PM  
"2006-04-26 07:18:43 PM karst

I still haven't figured out why we give former presidents secret service protection. Yes they know sensitive information that a kidnapper might extract, but wouldn't it be cheaper to just tell everyone they're enjoying a sunny retirement on their private island and kill them? Sort of like Running Man's retired participants."

They actually canceled it recently. Clinton will be the last president to get such protection.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-04-26 7:23:41 PM  
the article is flagged DUMBASS

for Clinton?

I figured it was for the Secret Service.

If I were president and my security detail messed with a kid's birthday party like that I'd invite the family to a real rocket launch. Or have SAC lob a nuke into space over the party. Because what fun is being president if you can't use the big red button once in a while?
 
RandomPrecision
2006-04-26 7:23:42 PM  
Clinton? Didn't we elect a new president?
 
RALEX
2006-04-26 7:25:27 PM  
Her daughter's name is Savannah?

"Next up on the stage is Savannah! C'mon guys let's give it up for Savannah! She'll be available for a little VIP room action latter!"

Sheesh. Talk about setting this kid up for a fine career in stage dancing.
 
ZipBeep
2006-04-26 7:27:40 PM  
Come on. They made that up. :D

Hahaha!

The 5 year old daughter of a stripper?
Shooting off a ROCKET?
Clinton just happens to be in the area?

/Nice work by the Secret Service, though.

Hahaha!
 
Sunday
2006-04-26 7:28:41 PM  
So like the secret service only lets Bill golf at night or are fireworks advanced enough to be seen in daylight now? I'm old, please don't hurt me!
 
Obscene_CNN
2006-04-26 7:28:56 PM  
Any mom who invites Clinton to her daughter's birthday party should be reported to CPS
 
Cybernetic
2006-04-26 7:29:51 PM  
TFA:: the 5-year-old daughter of 28-year-old porn star

Since this is Vegas, can I get an over/under on the kid's future therapy bills?
 
Chair of Indefinite Studies
2006-04-26 7:31:27 PM  
the_gospel_of_thomas

I Love Clinton and feel very greatful that he's okay.

Dude, I think you received the wrong Kool-aid this week.
 
feepness
2006-04-26 7:32:49 PM  
The CraneMeister: Disclaimer: Fark is a humorous/satirical headline posting service. Anyone taking headlines posted on Fark seriously is urged to run, not walk, to the nearest store and get a life as soon as possible.

B-b-b-b-b-b-but... I LOVE CLINTON!
 
mount.diablo
2006-04-26 7:33:06 PM  
"Any mom who invites Clinton to her daughter's birthday party should be reported to CPS"

Unless she's a porn star. No point wasting any time on saving the future starlet.
 
Meepzoid
2006-04-26 7:34:13 PM  
Goshiathis sure distracted my attention away from an illegal war, illegal searches, illegal torture, and a record deficit to pay for 'em!

How do they do that?!?
 
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