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(Yahoo)   Gasoline prices rise due to... *throws chicken entrails*... political turmoil in Nigeria   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
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3002 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2006 at 4:13 PM (17 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



91 Comments     (+0 »)


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2006-04-12 1:50:03 PM  
You'd think that with all the money they've made off my relatives' plane wrecks that the Honorable Slkjfew Alkdjfewf wants me to help with, they'd be able to lower the price of gas.
 
2006-04-12 2:02:28 PM  
I think they are rising due to the fact that we will have a greater demand for the fuel at some point in the future. Amazingly, it seems like there is always a greater tendency to travel by car every year according to the experts that justify the increases in fuel costs.

Its even worse now that the Chinese are now driving to the new Wong World and Chu Land amusment parks instead of staying at home during their vaction.
 
2006-04-12 2:11:28 PM  
Funny headline

"Save the neck for me Clark"

/obscure?
 
2006-04-12 2:47:04 PM  
LunaticOnTheGrass:

Funny headline

"Save the neck for me Clark"

/obscure?


If by 'obscure' you mean 'not even remotely obscure in any way whatsoever & aren't you all sick and farking tired of farkers that are too imbecilic to have the realization that they are on a site that is frequented/populated by a disproportionate number of pop-culture junkies & that there is a HIGH probability that they'll know 99% of all movie/music/game etc references that you throw out in order to come off as cool yet they do it anyway' then yes...it is.
 
2006-04-12 2:58:29 PM  
mr_sinister_31: If by 'obscure' you mean 'not even remotely obscure in any way whatsoever & aren't you all sick and farking tired of farkers that are too imbecilic to have the realization that they are on a site that is frequented/populated by a disproportionate number of pop-culture junkies & that there is a HIGH probability that they'll know 99% of all movie/music/game etc references that you throw out in order to come off as cool yet they do it anyway' then yes...it is. Wish I'd thought of that joke first.

Fixed that for ya.
 
2006-04-12 4:16:48 PM  
Consumers are unrelenting in their demand for oil in the United States," said Fimat USA analyst John Kilduff, adding that we have yet to see the breaking point where high prices at the pump impede demand.

He then ejaculated.
 
2006-04-12 4:16:57 PM  
yup. just went up by 45 cents/gallon here.

/93 Octane Ford Thunderbird driver here
//weeps
 
2006-04-12 4:17:01 PM  
I'm sure they're working really hard on getting those rigs 'damaged' by Katrina back up and running since that little event seems to have put a 10-15% gain on their profit margins for doing less.

/bastards.
 
2006-04-12 4:17:20 PM  
Nothing to do with Easter weekend coming up, no siree.
 
2006-04-12 4:17:33 PM  
Those idiots on Martha's Vinyard throwing a tantrum about the wind power farm pretty much sum up America's energy policy.

Until we star producing more domestic energy we will be at the mercy of unstable shiatholes.
 
2006-04-12 4:18:32 PM  
t
 
2006-04-12 4:19:43 PM  
mr_sinister_31

Off your meds again, eh?
 
2006-04-12 4:20:04 PM  
Must...not...become...imperialist...CRAP! Looked at the gas prices. Time to annex something.

/Make the dang-bursted trains run on time, too, I will.
 
2006-04-12 4:20:32 PM  
great headline Submitter

i did LOL
 
2006-04-12 4:20:37 PM  
"Those idiots on Martha's Vinyard throwing a tantrum about the wind power farm pretty much sum up America's the Wests energy policy."

12.7% of the Globes land mass would have to be covered with 6 turbines in every KM just for wind to have an effect.

Windpowers Shiat Anyway's it only works in certain wind speeds
 
2006-04-12 4:21:39 PM  
The CraneMeister

mr_sinister_31: If by 'obscure' you mean 'not even remotely obscure in any way whatsoever & aren't you all sick and farking tired of farkers that are too imbecilic to have the realization that they are on a site that is frequented/populated by a disproportionate number of pop-culture junkies & that there is a HIGH probability that they'll know 99% of all movie/music/game etc references that you throw out in order to come off as cool yet they do it anyway' then yes...it is. Wish I'd thought of that joke first.

Fixed that for ya.


[image from netsoc.tcd.ie too old to be available]
 
2006-04-12 4:22:44 PM  
mr_sinister_31: If by 'obscure' you mean 'not even remotely obscure in any way whatsoever & aren't you all sick and farking tired of farkers that are too imbecilic to have the realization that they are on a site that is frequented/populated by a disproportionate number of pop-culture junkies & that there is a HIGH probability that they'll know 99% of all movie/music/game etc references that you throw out in order to come off as cool yet they do it anyway' then yes...it is.

[image from members.lycos.nl too old to be available]
 
2006-04-12 4:23:51 PM  
[image from thanksalotw.com too old to be available]

/just saying
//not that there's anything wrong with that
///yada yada yada
 
2006-04-12 4:24:13 PM  
[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]

I like a good haruspex reference...
 
2006-04-12 4:24:42 PM  
www.thanksalotw.com

sorry 'bout that
 
2006-04-12 4:24:58 PM  
There's no conspiracy here. Oil prices rise on the open commodities markets because that is how much people are paying for it.

Gasoline prices, on the other hand, suffer from monopolistic practicies
 
2006-04-12 4:26:32 PM  
same discussion as the gas station owners barely squeaking by thread from yesterday in 3, 2, 1....
 
2006-04-12 4:26:33 PM  
I think people will adjust when it hits $10 a gallon, I used to think $5 a gallon but I think I was mistaken and underestimated the stupidity of the common man.

Hell most will just run up their credit card debt...
 
2006-04-12 4:26:34 PM  
"Ha Ha Ha. More record profits on the way for me.
Maybe I can buy a 3rd chin."
[image from boomantribune.com too old to be available]
 
2006-04-12 4:27:53 PM  
Latest Email-based campaign to crush big oil:

GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work

This was originally sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. It ' s worth your consideration.

Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea.

This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them.

BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read on and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $2.79 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace..... not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.

HERE'S THE IDEA:

For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out at this point.... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people.

I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us sends it to at least ten more (30 x 10 =3D 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 =3D 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE
>>>>HUNDRED MILLION >>>>PEOPLE!!!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all. (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million,all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... I'm a mathematician, so trust me on this one.)

How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!!

I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you?

Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN.

THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
 
2006-04-12 4:29:07 PM  
Being able to raise price like this is an indication that there isn't enough competition in the industry. Break the oil companies up into about a dozen or so smaller companies. It will be good for capitalism and america. I am sure all the free market republicans will agree with me.
 
2006-04-12 4:30:18 PM  
BillBuckner86: GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work

why do you care about gas prices? just look in your inbox for a couple of ways to get 19M$ from some guy in nigeria.

your cut-pasted msg makes as much sense.
 
2006-04-12 4:30:54 PM  
All you venture capitalists out there, I'm demo-ing a prototype of my competitor for the Prius. It's called the Prepuce, and...

not sure where I was going with that. need more oil.
 
2006-04-12 4:31:27 PM  
"The president of Exxon sneezes, price of gas goes up $3. Iran says "Wheres your god now America?!"
 
2006-04-12 4:31:41 PM  
I think the reason that gas prices are rising is - Mr. Big Oil needs a new pair of vacation houses, and his yard doesn't cut itself you know.
 
2006-04-12 4:31:43 PM  
[image from img382.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2006-04-12 4:32:37 PM  
Gsm136

Meh, frottage isn't that bad.
 
2006-04-12 4:34:33 PM  
mr_sinister_31 i agree with you, unfortunately this place is nothin' but a negativity band wagon, everyone usually sides with the cliche retard not the person pointing out the obvious to the cliche retard
 
2006-04-12 4:35:13 PM  
[image from turbofark.com too old to be available]
 
2006-04-12 4:36:24 PM  
i agree with you, unfortunately this place is nothin' but a negativity band wagon, everyone usually sides with the cliche retard not the person pointing out the obvious to the cliche retard

Boring! This thread needs more thrown chicken entrails.
 
2006-04-12 4:36:24 PM  
I agree! From now on I will only drink Pepsi.
 
2006-04-12 4:38:16 PM  
BillBuckner86

Something about that just doesn't seem like it would work... I wish I paid more attention in Economics.
 
2006-04-12 4:38:52 PM  
nytmare you're probably right, I should keep my opinion to myself and just post cliches
L@@K at me I'm a fark cliche!
/too obscure for ya?
 
2006-04-12 4:39:11 PM  
BillBuckner86,

Please tell me you don't believe that horseshiat.
 
2006-04-12 4:40:59 PM  
But is that truly a "free market"? Wouldn't a truly free market allow monopolies

A free market requires competition.
 
2006-04-12 4:41:07 PM  
FTFA "the average U.S. retail price for a gallon of gasoline was $2.695 a gallon". I wish!!!! I have not seen gas prices that low in at least a year. Last time I bought gas (2 weeks ago) I paid $3.19 per gallon (mid-grade) and low-grade was $3.09.
 
2006-04-12 4:41:49 PM  
Gsm136: : 12.7% of the Globes land mass would have to be covered with 6 turbines in every KM just for wind to have an effect.

Windpowers Shiat Anyway's it only works in certain wind speeds


Newer wind turnbines, such as the one just installed in east San Diego, run from 6mph up to 59 mph. They generate 2MW each.

California's combined electricity production today is 37,000MW, which would translated to 18,500 turbines. California is 158,000 square miles large. So, at 6 turbines per square kilometer (or 15 per square mile -- which is a low number; the installation east of San Diego has 25 streched in a line along 1 mile, and I bet they could do multiple lines without affecting production), that would use 1190 squarea miles for the generators, or 0.75% of California's land. Since wind turbines are compatible with many types of land, this isn't exclusive use, either. And, this is if we wanted to replace ALL electrical generation with wind.
 
2006-04-12 4:42:51 PM  
Last time I bought gas (2 weeks ago) I paid $3.19 per gallon (mid-grade) and low-grade was $3.09.

Damn, man, where do you live? It's $2.60 in Philly. (Depending on where you are, of course).
 
2006-04-12 4:43:15 PM  
Shostie

BillBuckner86

Something about that just doesn't seem like it would work... I wish I paid more attention in Economics.

wjllope

BillBuckner86: GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work

why do you care about gas prices? just look in your inbox for a couple of ways to get 19M$ from some guy in nigeria.

your cut-pasted msg makes as much sense.


That's my point in posting it here before your Aunt sends it to you. Sarcasm implied. This is fark after all.
 
2006-04-12 4:45:32 PM  
Shostie: Something about that just doesn't seem like it would work... I wish I paid more attention in Economics.

it's simple really.
Oil is bought and sold on a *global market*.
1. supply and demand
2. demand increases (china et al).
3. profit
big oil businesses have no incentive to sell oil in the US any cheaper than they sell it elsewhere. in fact their main incentive is to make money for their shareholders, i.e. charge what the markey will bear.

hence, unless somebody discovers a new HUUUGE oil deposit underneath Houston, the present high gas prices are here to stay, and no boycott will change that.
 
2006-04-12 4:46:41 PM  
BillBuckner86: Sarcasm implied.

ahhhh... meta-humor - that shiat is always tripping me up....
 
2006-04-12 4:46:53 PM  
So with Castro building a new refinery in Cuba with Huga Chavez's help, do you think he knows something?
 
2006-04-12 4:48:50 PM  
BillBuckner86 it's not like they wont raise the prices further to recoop the money they're losing from people not buying gas or anything. I'm sure the big buyers in fuel will read that email and just jump on that band wagon, you know, airlines, truckers, couriers, those sorts of people.
/they friggin' gas company prolly started that email as a joke to see how many tardmonkeys they can get to buy into it.
//You do realise that even those small time gas stations that don't have a brand name for the most part still end up buying their fuel from a brand name supplier, because you own a gas station doesn't mean you own a refinery, or did you think gas appeared from a magical hole in the ground right under the pumps?
 
2006-04-12 4:50:23 PM  
BillBuckner86 nice try with the sarcasm thing, I'm sure had everyone said it was a great plan it wouldn't have been sarcasm. Just admit that you were dumb and move on, or are you one of those types that blames everyone else first?
 
2006-04-12 4:51:29 PM  
This guy sees where we're going:

http://globalguerrillas.typepad.com/globalguerrillas/

JOURNAL: The Shadow OPEC in Nigeria

"The fact that we have influenced the price of world oil, no matter how little, and caught the attention of the foreign media indicates we are on the right track."

Jomo Gbomo (one of Nigeria's MEND spokespeople)
 
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