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(   Man claims he stabbed the guy with a spear during a bar fight out of self defense, leading to the question, "Why did you bring a spear to the bar?"   ( divider line
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6344 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2006 at 1:45 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-04-12 12:10:03 PM  
submitter: "Why did you bring a spear to the bar?"

apparently he was "a little fuzzy" on that point. sadly, nothing was fuzzy about the spear.
2006-04-12 12:17:00 PM  
Doesn't everyone?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-04-12 01:02:52 PM  
Doesn't everyone?

Apparently not, because he had to borrow his friend's spear.
2006-04-12 01:19:45 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to introduce exhibit A for the defense!

(Dramatically lifts hankerchief from Martini olives as an audible gasp eminates from the jury)
2006-04-12 01:24:26 PM  
submitter: "Why did you bring a spear to the bar?"

Let's just clear this up. "Filthy" did NOT bring a spear to the bar. His friend did.
2006-04-12 01:47:58 PM  
Wait, so why did he bring Britney Spears to a bar? And how the heck did he use her as a weapon?
2006-04-12 01:48:19 PM  
Defendant was also heard to say "I love lamp!"
2006-04-12 01:49:23 PM  
Hey now, a good spear can make getting a drink in a bar a lot quicker.
2006-04-12 01:49:56 PM  
I LOL'd when I saw the headline. Very funny.
2006-04-12 01:49:57 PM  
There were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a man with a trident!
2006-04-12 01:50:15 PM  
Okay. You're a former AFL professional, years later you find yourself drinking at a bar and sooner or later your'e in a bar fight; the next thing you know, some guy launches a spear into your chest...
2006-04-12 01:50:18 PM  
Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
2006-04-12 01:51:47 PM  
Good aim, dude! On a moving target too. Spears aren't the easiest thing to throw on target unless you have much practice. Hmmmmm. Future Olympic javelin-thrower perhaps?
2006-04-12 01:51:57 PM  
- Cuz dragons stole his baby!

[image from too old to be available]

Also comes in handy when you need to shave a horseshoe!

/Can't even hear the word "spear" without thinking of this movie.
2006-04-12 01:52:59 PM  
And if everyone forgets their spears, just impale each other with pool cues. F-ing Tards.
2006-04-12 01:53:09 PM  
The best reason to take a spear to a bar is to temp fate.
2006-04-12 01:53:20 PM  
The guy apparently attacked him with a stick, upon which he grabbed his friend's spear and threw it at his assailant.

Which brings me to my question - who brings a stick to a spear fight?
2006-04-12 01:53:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2006-04-12 01:53:44 PM  
Really large dart boards?
2006-04-12 01:53:52 PM  
If I had been attacked by the guy with a spear, I would have stabbed him in self defence too!
2006-04-12 01:54:49 PM  
Thats unpossible.

>>Ala Ralph Wiggum.
2006-04-12 01:54:54 PM  
Spears don't spear people, people do!
2006-04-12 01:55:15 PM  
Friends don't let friends - carry their own spears!
2006-04-12 01:57:17 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
/Scott Jurgenson wanted for questioning
2006-04-12 01:57:23 PM  
When the seagulls follow the trawler,

it is because they think sardines

will be thrown

into the sea
2006-04-12 01:58:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-04-12 01:59:28 PM  
A spear.......
2006-04-12 01:59:44 PM  
Magic Helmet?
2006-04-12 02:00:55 PM  
Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
2006-04-12 02:00:56 PM  
Sounds like a fun nite at the pub.
2006-04-12 02:01:07 PM  
Maybe he has a real high strength and he wanted the bonus for a 2-handed weapon but he didn't have the gold for a halberd? Spear seems an unlikely choice tho--if I had to choose a 2-hander for a bar brawl, I'd bring a battleaxe...

2006-04-12 02:01:43 PM  
you might want to lay low for a while becuase you're probably wanted for murder...

/first thing i thought of
2006-04-12 02:01:58 PM  
2006-04-12 02:02:02 PM  
Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?
2006-04-12 02:02:09 PM  
Come on, it was a fishing spear! How many of us haven't speared someone else in the chest in a drunken brawl after a fishing trip with friends? The patient is at the hospital, and I'm sure he'll make a full recovery. The incident is regrettable, but these things happen all the time. Nothing to see here, move along.

2006-04-12 02:03:38 PM  
2006-04-12 02:04:13 PM  
Nightsweat wins with the oldschool reference.
2006-04-12 02:04:37 PM  
His name from now on should be "Sir Lance-a-lot!"

2006-04-12 02:05:16 PM  
Is it considered self defense if I stab someone for laughing at me because I'm carrying a large spear?
2006-04-12 02:05:28 PM  
"Filthy" should have known the old rule: "Never bring a piece of wood to a spear fight."
2006-04-12 02:06:15 PM  
Living in Canada, I now have only spears for home defense.

Zulu Assegai: Best for CQB and ambush from behind bed.

Shona Tribal Authority Spear: Best for brandishing at kids on lawn.

Matebele Lion Spear: Best for receiving cavalry thug charge.

Taking to bar? I got nuthin'. Have to work on that.
2006-04-12 02:12:56 PM  
C'mon, he needed the spear to fish the pineapple chunks and maraschino cherries out of his drink!
2006-04-12 02:13:13 PM  
skink: Zulu Assegai:

"Assegai" sounds like a great battle cry to make while menacingly brandishing the spear.
2006-04-12 02:14:51 PM  
In honor of the headline:

I recently hired a contractor (a friend) to re-pave my driveway. I work close to home so I decided I was in good hands and didn't go sit there and watch the asphalt cool. Mid-afternoon I get a phone call...good news is the driveway's done. Bad news is "...mumble mumble steamroller mumble motorcyc mumble mumble..." My Weeners was gee, I don't think I heard that. Did you say you hit my bike with your steamroller?
"Uh, yeah."
Leading to the question, "What were you doing in my garage with your steamroller?"

/I know it's off-topic
//He paid for the damage
///Now have A_Story about how I got that crack in the fender
2006-04-12 02:15:25 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
"I think he got the point."

2006-04-12 02:18:03 PM  
Golfclap to Nightsweat for bringin' the Bugs.

But I gotta disagree with ShannonKW; situation clearly calls for a double-bladed orc axe. Then again, maybe he didn't have the extra feat...

/What what?
2006-04-12 02:21:55 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-04-12 02:22:47 PM  
Whidbey: The correct war cry when brandishing the Assegai is...


When removing the spear from the victim, one says...

NGDALA! (I have eaten)
2006-04-12 02:30:02 PM  

I am conflicted. I would be fascinated to know how you know what one says when brandishing and removing a spear, but I'm afraid to ask and risk unwittingly provoke a demonstration of same.

/you just stay in BC, 'kay?
//or is it eh?
2006-04-12 02:32:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Has anyone seen my lucky harpoon?
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