Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Mike Tython apologitheth for patht life of violenth   ( divider line
    More: Silly  
•       •       •

5610 clicks; posted to Main » and Sports » on 22 Mar 2006 at 4:16 AM (17 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

63 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2006-03-22 4:18:44 AM  
That's mean.
2006-03-22 4:19:17 AM  
He'll never be domesticated.
2006-03-22 4:19:36 AM  
Very thunny, Thubmitter.
2006-03-22 4:27:18 AM  
I'm tho thorry - Mike
2006-03-22 4:28:08 AM  
right as if thats gonna change anything......
2006-03-22 4:33:36 AM  
And if you don't accept his apology he will eat your children!
2006-03-22 4:36:51 AM  
I think he should have just saved himself the trouble and apologized for any further limbs or major organs he chewed off in the future.
2006-03-22 4:46:40 AM  
Mike'th got a cool fathe thathoo, tho.
2006-03-22 4:46:55 AM  
not nith to take the pith out of folkth with lithp ithues

/thuckit n thee thucker
//another thlathee
///thwee thlathees, yeth!!
2006-03-22 4:48:12 AM  
Yeah Wobin; I was in pwison foh wape.
2006-03-22 4:48:33 AM  
lol thath funny
2006-03-22 5:03:10 AM  
i'm surprised he could keep himself from biting everyone long enough to say all that.

/howmpf howmpf!
2006-03-22 5:27:10 AM  
Nieth headline, thubmitta. Dwedewick Tatum appwoovth.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-03-22 5:35:40 AM  
Alltho, Thindy Bwady and Dwew Bawwiemowe are not amuthth...

[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2006-03-22 5:42:58 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-03-22 5:59:48 AM  
I dare you to make fun of his lisp to his face!
2006-03-22 6:17:39 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
You have thuch a thilly voice you thilly goothe
2006-03-22 6:23:09 AM  
Fee fi fo, fee fee fi, fo fo fi fo.

Mike Tyson giving out his phone number.
2006-03-22 6:28:33 AM  
He might be an asshat, but he makes good chicken.
2006-03-22 6:39:50 AM  
Manny Calavera

That's the *first* thing I thought after reading the headline...that and hearing Damon Wayans as Tyson in the back of my head saying "Thath ludicrouth."
2006-03-22 7:25:35 AM  
Hith apologee might be moe convinthing if he woon't weferweeing the World Cage Fighting Championshipth.

2006-03-22 7:38:37 AM  
He's apologising to the Brits for a violent past, as he referees the World Cage Fighting Championships?! WTF? Reality will always trump fantasy. No one could make up better irony...
2006-03-22 8:03:39 AM  
I take my hand off to Mike Tyson!
/Is lewis still laughing?
2006-03-22 8:18:48 AM  
Mind Blender beat micke to the punch.

A rare opportunity to properly apply the "IRONIC* tag missed. So sad.
2006-03-22 8:34:19 AM  
"You white biatch. I'll fark you 'til you love me!!!"

Tython can't be twuthed.

/he said that to a reporter
/guy must have shiat his pants
/it is a pretty funny/scary thing to say to someone though
2006-03-22 8:35:26 AM  
Mike could STILL knock all of you motherfarking haters the fark out with one punch...
2006-03-22 8:36:40 AM  
Thtop it thath mean.
2006-03-22 8:47:00 AM  
Tyson has been my hero since I was a young boy, playing his NES game. He has been my hero since then and always will be, regardless of what you sarcastic bastards think.
2006-03-22 8:50:45 AM  
People do change, mature and regret the follies and wrongdoing of their youth. If this is a heartfelt admission then I wish him the best going forward. No one is perfect.
2006-03-22 8:54:51 AM  
submitter is gonna get his ath kicked.
2006-03-22 9:04:02 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Forgives you
2006-03-22 9:04:10 AM  
When will he make good on his infamouse predicition that he will "fade into Bolivian?"
2006-03-22 9:07:07 AM  
I read the headline wrong and expected a bunch of Monty Python references.

2006-03-22 9:08:16 AM

Also, check out these quotes:

* "My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children."

* "My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

* "I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

* "I don't do anything. My life sucks."

* "I'll never be happy. I believe I'll die alone. I would want it that way. I've been a loner all my life with my secrets and my pain. I'm really lost, but I'm trying to find myself. I'm really a sad, pathetic case."

* "My whole life has been a waste -- I've been a failure."

* "I love to hit people. I love to. Most celebrities are afraid someone's going to attack them. I want someone to attack me. No weapons. Just me and him. I like to beat men and beat them bad."

* "Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn't have a cent. Do you know what I do sometimes? Put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters."

* "I just have this thing inside me that wants to eat and conquer. Maybe it's egotistical, but I have it in me. I don't want to be a tycoon. I just want to conquer people and their souls."

* "The title doesn't deserve to be treated with respect because the title is like a woman - it's like love - it doesn't care about anything but itself. It doesn't care who possesses it.... It's like a woman: 'fark you, I'm so beautiful [that] I can get the next man with more money, with a better body.'"

and my personal favorite,

* "My power is discombobulatingly devastating; I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
2006-03-22 9:12:39 AM  
Surprised no one's made a De(a?)d(e?)rick Tatum reference yet...

/or maybe someone has and I've missed it
2006-03-22 9:13:28 AM  

"This is my last fight -- I want to retire!"
2006-03-22 9:14:52 AM  
future thureal life thelebrity?
2006-03-22 9:21:27 AM  

Up the thread just a little'll see it.
2006-03-22 9:22:54 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-03-22 9:24:42 AM  
Tyson quotes are hours of fun...

[He] called me a rapist and a recluse. Im not a recluse.

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."
2006-03-22 9:34:37 AM  
2006-03-22 9:38:09 AM  
Anyone remember that old commercial where they had that theme "I want to be like Mike" and they were showing all the "Mikes". Jordan, Tyson, etc. That cracks me up picturing all those kids around him wanting to be like him now.
2006-03-22 9:38:10 AM  
I think he made a good point in this article when he claimed that he was "a human being AND a person".

How many of you can claim that kind of achievement? HMMMM?!?!!?!?!?!
2006-03-22 9:44:14 AM  
Tyson is an animal. He should be drugged...tagged..and put in a zoo. He should not be around people.
2006-03-22 9:52:41 AM  
"It's ludicrous that you mortals even attempt to enter my realm" is one I'll be using.

Mike's quotes sound really manic-depressive, eh?
2006-03-22 10:22:30 AM  
Can't someone just pop a cap in his ath and get it over with? You are just a cliche, Mike. Go away.
2006-03-22 10:34:50 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Are you looking at my headgear?
2006-03-22 10:44:35 AM  
What was that Onion headline, something like "Tyson escapes from ring"?

But yeah, hopefully he's on the money about being a new, happy, non-biting person.
2006-03-22 11:01:48 AM  
Bottom line- not one dammm person who has made fun of him here would even THINK about trying it to his face.
2006-03-22 11:04:46 AM  
the biggest redneck here: Bottom line- not one dammm person who has made fun of him here would even THINK about trying it to his face.

Not without that burning would I take a hit from Tyson for $1 miilion type-logic and I hear there is not much left to sue.
Displayed 50 of 63 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.