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(Yahoo)   Lawyer shot by Dick Cheney has heart attack. Well, that's one way to not focus on being shot in the head   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
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11022 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2006 at 3:29 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2006-02-14 3:30:50 PM  
I bet the guy's really dead.
 
2006-02-14 3:31:30 PM  
... but Clinton shot a load into someones face.
 
2006-02-14 3:31:33 PM  
pwned!
 
2006-02-14 3:31:47 PM  
This doesn't come as much of a surprise.

Actually, I'm a little surprised Cheney's cardiologist lets him quail hunt. Those buggers give me a heart attck when they flush.
 
2006-02-14 3:31:53 PM  
I can't wait for all of the heart attacks in this thread.
 
2006-02-14 3:31:59 PM  
Lilly-livered greenhorn!
 
2006-02-14 3:32:05 PM  
Coalition of Life mother farkers! BOOYAKA
 
2006-02-14 3:32:52 PM  
so, if this guy dies as as a result of the leadshot in his body (he wasn't terribly far from it this time), does that mean cheney gets charged with involuntary manslaughter?
 
2006-02-14 3:32:53 PM  
Cheney told the guy "Suck it up, I have heart attacks all the time".

It's no big deal right?
 
2006-02-14 3:33:01 PM  
SHENANIGANS!

This story cannot be true. Everyone knows lawyers dont' have hearts.
 
2006-02-14 3:33:02 PM  
"IT'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US!!!"

/blam
//comedy platinum
///Somehow I am sure Cheney is finding a way for Halliburton to benefit from this
 
2006-02-14 3:33:08 PM  
It's like every few hours, something comes out that has Cheney in a deeper and deeper hole. By this time next week the guy's zombie corpse will have completed eating the brains of the people of Houston.
 
2006-02-14 3:33:15 PM  
I bet the guy's really dead.

Would not be the least bit surprised. The spin on this would be a thing of beauty.
 
M-G
2006-02-14 3:33:26 PM  
This is just to have a good cover story when he dies from the gunshot wound...
 
2006-02-14 3:33:28 PM  
Big deal! No one has been shot in the face more times than Jenna Jamison!
 
2006-02-14 3:33:43 PM  
this is not dick cheney's fault. it's whittingtons fault for having heart tissue susceptible to being shot!
 
2006-02-14 3:34:00 PM  
I was watchin the O RLY factor yesterday and he was talking about the "lib media" doesn't understand that it was just bird shot that hit him. Regardless of the size of the shot the VP STILL SHOT SOME DUDE IN THE FACE. That's F'ed up regardless of what your standing is w/ the current party in charge.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:06 PM  
At least he shot a lawyer instead of a real person.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:09 PM  
Can't be manslaughter, Sevah. The man's a lawyer, 'fer cryin' out loud.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:09 PM  
That's rich, Dick, rich.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:11 PM  
Would this be our first VP accused of murder/manslaughter? Hmmmmmmm.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:25 PM  
Talk about a bad week.

on a different note...
what happened to the photoshop thread? Was it deleted by Fark or did someone get pissed and did it themself?
 
2006-02-14 3:34:38 PM  
This is just not his week.
 
2006-02-14 3:34:42 PM  
Awe. :(

I just sumbitted this under the headline: 'Man who Cheney shot has heart attack. Cheney says they can be friends now they have things in common, being shot at and heart attacks..'


I really need to get a total fark subscription so I can get my farking crap greenlit..
 
2006-02-14 3:35:37 PM  
Muta

I thought it was just a dress. If it was the face she never would have washed it off.

/would explain the pictures of her in a Pearl Necklace though
 
2006-02-14 3:35:50 PM  
I'd be interested in a serious answer to the manslaughter question, if possible.
 
2006-02-14 3:35:55 PM  
I have that SNL skit from a long time ago running in my head involving Jan Hooks as Joey Buttafuoco's wife saying "It almost looks like that crazy b*tch never shot me in the face."
 
2006-02-14 3:35:59 PM  
Psumek: I was watchin the O RLY factor yesterday and he was talking about the "lib media" doesn't understand that it was just bird shot that hit him.

O RLY should volunteer to be shot in the face with bird shot just to show his audience how "harmless" it is.

F*ck, I'd shell out for THAT pay-per-view event.
 
2006-02-14 3:36:00 PM  
I don't see why this whole hunting accident thing is such a big deal. Cheney shoots people ALL THE TIME! Seriously, he shot me last week. I didn't go and have myself a little 'ole heart attack though.
 
M-G
2006-02-14 3:36:04 PM  
M-G: This is just to have a good cover story when he dies from the gunshot wound...

Though actually RTFA, I see the MI was a direct result of the gunshot...

Since when does being 'peppered' with shot result in it lodging in your heart?
 
2006-02-14 3:36:07 PM  
Oh, it's just a minor heart attack. Cheney has those on a daily basis.
 
2006-02-14 3:36:16 PM  
saymoof

What about Aaron Burr?
 
2006-02-14 3:36:22 PM  
I really need to get a total fark subscription so I can get my farking crap greenlit..

I really need to join the military so that I can make a difference.
 
2006-02-14 3:36:28 PM  
I was reading some random stories on hunting "accidents." I haven't seen to many that ended up in charges being filed.

So feel free to go out hunting and have yourself an "accident."

/the NRA supports your right to have "accidents"
 
2006-02-14 3:36:43 PM  
As a lawyer, I thoroughly disagree with all the obligatory "lawyers don't have hearts" jokes.

We DO have hearts. They just don't beat unless we feast on the blood of virgins while swimming in a vat of molten gold every 24 hours.
 
2006-02-14 3:36:44 PM  
Smells like manslaughter to me.

Wow, karma's a motherfarker.
 
2006-02-14 3:37:11 PM  
Dear Mr Vice President,

Don't drink and hunt.

That is all.
 
2006-02-14 3:37:30 PM  
Xehirut: I just sumbitted this under the headline: 'Man who Cheney shot has heart attack. Cheney says they can be friends now they have things in common, being shot at and heart attacks..'

I really need to get a total fark subscription so I can get my farking crap greenlit..



Sour Baby doesn't care for whining. Or your headline.

[image from img307.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2006-02-14 3:37:50 PM  
how is this still news? much less greenlighted news
 
2006-02-14 3:37:52 PM  
[image from intriguing.com too old to be available]

Old Man: I'm not dead!
Cart-master: 'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!
Man: Yes he is.
Old Man: I'm not!
Cart-master: 'E isn't?
Man: Well... he will be soon-- he's very ill...
Old Man: I'm getting better!
Man: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Cart-master: I can't take 'im like that! It's against regulations!
Old Man: I don't want to go on the cart....
Man: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Cart-master: I can't take 'im....
Old Man: I feel fine!
Man: Well, do us a favor...
Cart-master: I can't!
Man: Can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long...
Cart-master: No, gotta get to Robinson's, they lost nine today.
Man: Well, when's your next round?
Cart-master: Thursday.
Old Man: I think I'll go for a walk....
Man: You're not fooling anyone, you know--
(to Cart-master) Look, isn't there something you can do...?

(they both look around)

Old Man: I feel happy! I feel happy!

(the Cart-master deals the old man a swift blow to the head with his wooden spoon. The old man goes limp.)

Man: (throwing the old man onto the cart) Ah. thanks very much.
Cart-master: Not at all. See you on Thursday!
Man: Right! All right....
 
2006-02-14 3:37:52 PM  
Torc

I'd be interested in a serious answer to the manslaughter question, if possible.


Seriously? It ain't gonna happen, ever.
 
2006-02-14 3:37:53 PM  
clevershark

I'd pay
 
2006-02-14 3:38:08 PM  
As soon as the guy is dead the story will change to the guy committing suicide.
 
2006-02-14 3:38:23 PM  
Having a heart attack is just part of hunting. Practically everyone who goes hunting has a heart attack at least once.
 
2006-02-14 3:38:24 PM  
All the conservative pundits pooh-poohing getting shot in the face and chest with that stuff, let's line 'em up. O'Reilly, Hannity, Malkin, Coulter. Let's see how good it feels and how quickly they get back to their feet after getting shot in the face.
 
2006-02-14 3:38:35 PM  
Psumek:
I was watchin the O RLY factor yesterday and he was talking about the "lib media" doesn't understand that it was just bird shot that hit him.

clevershark:
O RLY should volunteer to be shot in the face with bird shot just to show his audience how "harmless" it is.
F*ck, I'd shell out for THAT pay-per-view event.


We think alike. Too much alike.
 
2006-02-14 3:38:37 PM  
I'll bet Cheney yelled "BOOYAH!!!!" when he pulled the trigger.
 
2006-02-14 3:38:58 PM  
Bah.
 
2006-02-14 3:39:38 PM  
And I believe Aaron Burr was out of office by the time he capped Hamilton. Then he committed treason, even if the courts didn't have the goods, he still did.
 
2006-02-14 3:39:38 PM  
Hmm...

Lets start the guessing on who Cheney's replacement will be...

My picks.

Jeb...35% likely
Condi...25%
Cheney's remarkably similiar-looking brother Johnson...10%
Rove...10%
Brownie...5%
Santorum...5%
McCain...5%
Harriet Miers...5%
 
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