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(   Holocaust on Endor   ( divider line
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

14090 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2002 at 7:31 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-05-21 03:55:06 PM  

[image from too old to be available]

Use the force, man...

2002-05-22 12:56:04 AM  
I didn't know Ernest Borgnine smoked doobies.
2002-05-22 07:33:29 AM  
"I'm yoda/I'm a soldja/though I toldja"
2002-05-22 07:33:41 AM  
What immediately comes to mind is TOO MUCH FREE TIME!
2002-05-22 07:36:04 AM  
Look at it this way, at least this psychopathic loser spends all of his time in his parents' basement writing this crap rather than walking among the living.
2002-05-22 07:37:03 AM  
Killing off the Ewoks wouldn't be the worst thing in the galaxy. Now if we could only do something about those damned Gungans...
2002-05-22 07:42:57 AM  
yub yub no more you little farking furries!
2002-05-22 07:44:15 AM  
Umm... that was stupid......
2002-05-22 07:50:01 AM  
Not sure how to classify what emotion/thoughts I have towards the realization that I did not write near that much cumulatively and obtained a college degree.
2002-05-22 07:54:28 AM  
Wow. Now I'm dpressed.

Not from that stupid page or anything - just from realizing how many lonely, lonely people with no better reasons for existence there are out there.

"Pardon me will I nip off and shoot myself. Don't worry - I'll be quite humane."
2002-05-22 07:54:54 AM  
Is the 'Sad' tag in reference to the author(s) of this thing?
2002-05-22 07:59:56 AM  
TheAnusThatAte: Would you like a Pangalactic Gargle Blaster to wash that down with?
2002-05-22 08:04:13 AM  
Would you like a Pangalactic Gargle Blaster to wash that down with?
He said he would be humane!
2002-05-22 08:07:10 AM  
umm what?
2002-05-22 08:09:33 AM  
I want the minute of my life it took me to skim that thing back.

I'd be willing to bet that this person also wrote something about which species in the Star Wars universe humans are able to have sex with.
2002-05-22 08:11:50 AM  
This is 'Sad' as in 'pathetic' sad?

whats also sad (see above) is the article was posted
2002-05-22 08:12:47 AM  
2002-05-22 08:13:36 AM  
Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphour.
Add an olive.
Drink...but...very carefully...

It's kind of what hit the Ewoks according to this article, but worse...
2002-05-22 08:13:36 AM  
I do have to wonder though, what does George Lucas think of something like this?
Admiration? Amusement? Pity? Horror?
2002-05-22 08:15:11 AM  
Interesting how he wants to tell Lucas how the movie is wrong, yet his scientific evidence consists of watching the Death Star explode over and over. Kinda makes you wish there were actual, deliberate continuity errors just to screw with em ... like having Indiana Jones show up, Ewoks turning into vicious gremlins when they smell peanut butter, etc.

Viva Prefect!
2002-05-22 08:16:19 AM  
2 words... Get A Life. Oh wait! That's three words.
2002-05-22 08:16:43 AM  
"I thank you not to belittle the efforts of others to restore some vestige of science to Star Wars."
2002-05-22 08:17:36 AM  
Plus this:
2002-05-22 08:18:02 AM  
What's scarier: That I read this like 3 years ago or that I read the whole thing?

It looks to me like someone posted a term paper.
2002-05-22 08:18:03 AM  
Picture Comic Book Guy.

Mods, I pray for death.
2002-05-22 08:18:47 AM  
I say we shove him in a locker.
2002-05-22 08:20:31 AM  
Dogbone: I have a feeling the dark and isolation wouldn't bother a person like this.
2002-05-22 08:23:18 AM  
I think that the author's science is very shaky. Questionable at best.
2002-05-22 08:23:24 AM  
My girlfriend dumped me 5 months ago and im still not over her.
I guess what im tying to say is I want some sympathy.
*sob sob*
2002-05-22 08:25:05 AM  
The ewoks knew what they were doing when they attacked el stormtoopers. I say, let 'em crash!
2002-05-22 08:29:11 AM  

That's insane!
2002-05-22 08:31:23 AM  
yeah......ok.....(steps backwards in fear)
2002-05-22 08:37:42 AM  
Shouldn't he be in a line for episode 3 or something?
2002-05-22 08:37:48 AM  
Wow man, are you THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?

Didn't you hear? We come in six packs now.
2002-05-22 08:42:38 AM  
New tag time...

[image from too old to be available]

2002-05-22 08:43:22 AM  
I made it like 3 sentences into the paragraph and then a ringing in my ears started. It became louder every time I began to read. Until I stopped reading. then the pain stopped.

One thing you can say about luke dorkwalker here is atleast he has a attention span. Hell I can feel myself drifting off just writing this....sigh....Hey look something shiny
2002-05-22 08:52:30 AM  
The author has obvisouly never, ever been laid.
2002-05-22 08:55:04 AM  
I'm sorry, but the Ewoks, like rats and termites, need to be exterminated.

What is PETA's posistion on this?

What is PETA's posistion on termites? I bet they start banning Orkin for those cockroach DEATH commercials.
2002-05-22 09:01:18 AM  
Damn you, George Lucas!
2002-05-22 09:04:08 AM  
Good. I never did like those spear chuckin' gophers.
2002-05-22 09:08:22 AM  
If you read the first part (I couldn't get through this retched cr@p), it says that it's likely that a huge radiation blast killed whoever was exposed to the explosion pretty much instantly.

No more Princess, no more Han, no more Wookie. Not to mention the EMP (I learned that word watching the Matrix!) would have taken out 3PO.

Or, this guy could be mental, and everyone lived happily ever after.
2002-05-22 09:17:04 AM  
I've read this before. It basically says that Endor isn't around anymore and that there's no possible way around it.
2002-05-22 09:20:47 AM  
P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C. !
2002-05-22 09:42:32 AM  
I know people who waste a lot more time on a lot less interesting pursuits. At least he's managed to build a strong case for the total obliteration of the Ewoks, which in my case makes him a HERO.

I heard that Endor was originally supposed to be the Wookie homeworld, which would have made for a much more interesting final battle scene, what with the Wookie's legendary penchant for ripping arms out of sockets and all. An Imperial defeat by Wookies would have at least been more plausible.
2002-05-22 09:43:48 AM  
or sad.. pathetic?
2002-05-22 09:46:42 AM  
"But i heard you were dead!"

"I am, I just haven't stopped moving yet. Now. Where is Zarniwoop?"

So who's a bigger geek, the loser who wrote the Endor thing or all of us who are quoting Adams off the top of our heads?

The tag has never been more ironically appropriate.
2002-05-22 09:48:13 AM  
the "sad" tag, that is
2002-05-22 09:50:02 AM  
Sprotzek Oh, I wasn't talking to you.. I've read The Guide numurous times..
my "umm what?" was directed towards the "article" in general.
2002-05-22 09:53:16 AM  
No, Endor is just fine. A wizard saved it.
2002-05-22 09:58:34 AM  
I still havn't gotten a decent article posted and this shiat continues to get picked. *sigh*
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