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(Some Texas Ranger)   Chuck Norris posts on his website that he knows about "The 30 Facts," which means whoever wrote them is probably already dead   (chucknorris.com) divider line
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49220 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2006 at 9:49 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2006-01-10 7:26:57 AM  
Wow - check out that website. That's some weird stuff...
 
2006-01-10 7:29:15 AM  
Queue some more original facts showing up in this thread. I know you witty farkers can show him up.
 
2006-01-10 7:33:07 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't get sick. Sick gets Chuck Norris'ed.
 
2006-01-10 7:33:40 AM  
Ooh snap! Yo check this out.

Ghandhi was a badass mofo!
 
2006-01-10 7:38:06 AM  
Chuck Norris once ate a water buffalo...whole...without chewing...in one bite.
 
2006-01-10 7:38:12 AM  
seriously that Biography sucks.
 
2006-01-10 7:40:30 AM  
Headline is hilarious.
 
2006-01-10 7:44:22 AM  
Chuck Norris once responded to a funny list of comedy bits, with a somewhat half-hearted attempt to sell his books.
 
2006-01-10 7:48:02 AM  
You don't read Chuck Norris' books, they read.. oh, nevermind.
 
2006-01-10 7:48:22 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't trim his beard. He roundhouse kicks the long whiskers from his own face.
 
2006-01-10 7:49:08 AM  
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was nothing. And Chuck Norris growled "God said let there be light". And there was light.
 
2006-01-10 7:49:22 AM  
Bill Brasky would've kicked his ass. After a 12-day drinking binge.
 
2006-01-10 7:51:03 AM  
You know, the real-life Chuck Norris is kind of a pussy.
 
2006-01-10 7:51:51 AM  
...said nin-man before Chuck Norris snapped his neck by looking at him.
 
2006-01-10 7:53:33 AM  
I thought Chuck handled that with the grace and eloquence normally reserved for his delivery of roundhouse kicks. Of course no one was killed by his response to this unlike when the foot of death comes into play.
 
2006-01-10 7:54:40 AM  
Chuck Norris burns the Sun.
 
2006-01-10 7:57:02 AM  
[image from tinypic.com too old to be available]
 
2006-01-10 7:57:30 AM  
Fark Chark.
 
2006-01-10 7:58:47 AM  
Chuck Norris once destroyed a TFer named dukefluke, simply by staring at his screen.
 
2006-01-10 8:07:07 AM  
Because of abuse the the chat room is now for
scheduled appearances ONLY!


Chuck Norris killed his own chat room.
 
2006-01-10 8:07:51 AM  
Chuck Norris is my dad!
 
2006-01-10 8:10:00 AM  
Thera: Chuck Norris is my dad!

/and your mom, he is a bad ass that way
 
2006-01-10 8:39:42 AM  
thisispete

That's awesome.
 
2006-01-10 8:46:31 AM  
We're all going to die just by posting here.
 
2006-01-10 9:01:01 AM  
[image from img207.imageshack.us too old to be available]

When the Chuck Norris is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Chuck Norris will know his seed is wiped out forever.
 
2006-01-10 9:01:52 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't plug books. He kicks the knowledge into your head.
 
2006-01-10 9:27:10 AM  
Chuck Norris just punched the servers, knocking this thread green.
 
2006-01-10 9:29:07 AM  
Chuck Norris submitted this with a better headline.
 
2006-01-10 9:35:44 AM  
Chuck Norris sometimes like to fark himself because he knows only Chuck Norris has the stamina to withstand a Chuck Norris farking.
 
2006-01-10 9:35:57 AM  
I thought Chuck Norris was gay.
 
2006-01-10 9:42:41 AM  
Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag the ladies. He potato sacks them.
 
2006-01-10 9:52:11 AM  
Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?"

Very smooth Chuck, very smooth.
 
2006-01-10 9:52:34 AM  
Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Mr. T walk into a bar.

It explodes with the power of twelve suns from the awesomeness.
 
2006-01-10 9:54:21 AM  
Chuck Norris has sworn to destroy Bill O'Reily. Which I suppose isn't that amazing, since every one hates that weasel bastard.
 
2006-01-10 9:54:32 AM  
The cure for cancer is in Chuck Norris' tears, but we will never be able to get it because Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
 
2006-01-10 9:54:41 AM  
What the hell is he talking about?

Does anyone have the link to the original article, or it's date/location on the Fark page?
 
2006-01-10 9:55:13 AM  
from his biography "Some of his students were Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond."

So sayeth the lord "The Price is wrong, beyotch."
 
2006-01-10 9:55:14 AM  
Bill Brasky is going to kick Chuck Norris' ass for stealing his bit.
 
2006-01-10 9:55:38 AM  
Nuck Chorris can remove a bra from a gnu using only the index finger of his left hand, in the dark. Yet still no-one has ever heard of him.
 
2006-01-10 9:56:00 AM  
Chuck Norris has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.
 
2006-01-10 9:56:31 AM  
Chuck Norris went up against all odds, defeated them, and compressed them into a book.
 
2006-01-10 9:56:37 AM  
Only Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry Chuck Norris' kid.
 
2006-01-10 9:56:43 AM  
Chuck Norris is the man from Nanctucket.
 
2006-01-10 9:56:55 AM  
Roundhouse kicks totally suck.
 
2006-01-10 9:57:27 AM  
Chuck Norris is a biatch.
 
2006-01-10 9:58:00 AM  
One whisker from the beard of Chuck Norris could generate enough electricity to power the world. Many have attempted to secure one, but all have been vanquished.
 
2006-01-10 9:58:22 AM  
Chucks Deluxe
 
2006-01-10 9:59:05 AM  
stainlesssteelrat

What the hell is he talking about?

Does anyone have the link to the original article, or it's date/location on the Fark page?


Google linky(pops)
 
2006-01-10 9:59:24 AM  
Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. That has nothing to do with his heritage: The dude ate a farking Indian.
 
dly
2006-01-10 9:59:36 AM  
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
 
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