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(Vallejo Times Herald)   Man returns library book 68 years overdue   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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11808 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jan 2006 at 9:07 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2006-01-01 1:33:57 PM  
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BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?

Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!
2006-01-01 8:57:51 PM  
As a St. Vincent's High School senior in 1938, Lois Lyttle checked "The History of England & Great Britain" out of Vallejo's John F. Kennedy Library.

Wow, JFK had a library named after him when he was only 21 years old!!

//BTW submitter, it was a woman who checked the book out.
2006-01-01 9:10:51 PM  
One time I got flak from a librarian, not because I was returning a book late, but because of the book I was returning late: "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Farkin' Las Vegas librarians.
2006-01-01 9:12:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-01-01 9:12:47 PM  
who the hell is john f kennedy?
2006-01-01 9:14:04 PM  
Out-of-context theatre presents:

"...I used to say I had an uncle on every corner."
2006-01-01 9:14:48 PM  
That Bookman bit on Seinfeld is one of the best things ever televised.
2006-01-01 9:15:47 PM  
2006-01-01 01:33:57 PM BlueGargoyle

my thoughts EXACTLY!
2006-01-01 9:15:48 PM  
Sounds like someone pulled a Bundy.
2006-01-01 9:18:25 PM  
Was it Tropic of Cancer? I thought it was Tropic of Capricorn...
2006-01-01 9:18:47 PM  
Wasn't an article posted exactly like this a while back (maybe a year back...?)
2006-01-01 9:19:00 PM  
peebles: Sounds like someone pulled a Bundy.

I hope he remembered the sugar bowl :)
2006-01-01 9:21:44 PM  
I've still got some library books out from 1982 ... :(
2006-01-01 9:23:56 PM  

Should've tould her that it obviously wasn't a very good book.
2006-01-01 9:24:43 PM  

2006-01-01 9:28:27 PM  
The article makes it seem like they were overly worried about an excuse as to why the book was so overdue. "She had a lifetime of busy-ness.." Who cares! They didn't even charge her the late fee, which is sweet, but c'mon.

/slow news day, anyone?
2006-01-01 9:28:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Hey Mister....Don't Bundy that book!
2006-01-01 9:29:18 PM  
a man named lois.
2006-01-01 9:30:11 PM  

2006-01-01 9:31:38 PM  
Yawn. Worst.Thread.Evar
2006-01-01 9:32:29 PM  
Coincidently, I lived for eight years on Pennsylvania Street, in Vallejo CA, and my sister went to St. Vincent's High. People out there do tend to procrastinate...
2006-01-01 9:33:07 PM  
What really gets me is when a library reports you to a credit bureau for late fees.

/still bitter
2006-01-01 9:41:02 PM  
Lock the old hag up
2006-01-01 9:46:45 PM  
uh what
2006-01-01 9:49:47 PM  
Last summer, my gf got me this book on controlling procrastination. One of these days I'll read it.
2006-01-01 9:50:47 PM  
goodnight that was a snoozer - yeah everyones life gets busy but come on who care what street she lived one, what here grandma's phone was (29, btw I'm calling here later one to see if she has prince albert in a can) - sounded too much like a shaggy dog story.
2006-01-01 9:51:36 PM  
great headline, submitter!
2006-01-01 10:01:46 PM  
"The History of England & Great Britain," eh? Sounds to me like the FBI should check their library records. I'll bet they are planning a terror attack, they're just taking a LONG time so they can plan it carefully. Who knows, they might even be plotting to assassinate the Archduke...
2006-01-01 10:03:04 PM  
Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
2006-01-01 10:03:20 PM  
is Lois a man?
2006-01-01 10:03:55 PM  
sirgromit: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?

2006-01-01 10:11:53 PM  
OOh a $20 donation. Thanks a lot witch. Those poor children missed out on such a great book because your vapid self kept it locked up in a box. World Wars are not an excuse.
2006-01-01 10:19:20 PM  
That biatch shoulda been arrested then beat down and given the chair!
2006-01-01 10:23:47 PM  
See? I knew God was angry.
2006-01-01 10:27:13 PM  
"I was born on Pennsylvania Street. Vallejo was a small town then and I used to say I had an uncle on every corner,"

You're mom was a whore.
2006-01-01 10:33:12 PM  
I still have a textbook that I forgot to return in middle school. Maybe someday I'll bring it back and request that someone do a news article on my life story as well.
2006-01-01 10:45:02 PM  
BlueGargoyle Stole my joke
2006-01-01 11:10:57 PM  
Growing up, Swanson said she was not allowed to wander past Santa Clara Street and Georgia Street "because the sailors were down there."

what a town.
2006-01-01 11:26:27 PM  
rexstardust: You're mom was a whore.

her mom was a whore because she had alot of brothers? Ummm... k
2006-01-01 11:36:39 PM  
Crucify her!

What a bunch of drama fags. I love how they called the library and had a family reunion (and a press notice?) to coordinate the return of the book. And a $20 donation? They spent more than that generating attention for themselves. Ram it, Grandma, you are nothing but a stealer.
2006-01-01 11:39:48 PM  
2006-01-01 11:52:26 PM  
YouDummy: Is that Conan the Librarian? I see you and raise..

[image from too old to be available]
2006-01-01 11:52:41 PM  
She added that she's planned to return to nursing school but met her husband Bill while shopping for a car. Four children followed, "so I never made it to U.C.,"

Wow, talk about getting side tracked
2006-01-02 12:11:38 AM  
Hmmn, I am still being charged for fixing my own phone line by Vallejo cops (two misdemeanors for touching a phone box that I own), even though I live in Benicia.

I've been unable to find a lawyer that will even go to that courthouse.

I let it slide for six months, and had a warrant out for my arrest that long even though I walk from here to the store and back every day. They finally picked me up a couple of days before New Year's, gave me a new trial date, and let me go.

All I did was try to test the line during a storm the day before New Years' last year when my phone went out. Although I was posting a lot on Fark back then. Any Fark lawyers in the area... please help?
2006-01-02 12:19:18 AM  
The ironic part is the neighbor that called the cops on me is an ex-vallejo cop, who shoots at the neighborhood birds and cats. Some weeks ago there was a busted gas main right under the same spot that the phone lines are at, on his driveway. This time I called the gas company right away instead of trying to find it or fix it (before I didn't have a cellphone), and saved his life while he was asleep. Irony.
2006-01-02 12:22:37 AM  
I've got a book here that was due back in February 1943. I think my great aunt checked it out. I actually sent the library a replacement a couple of years ago, after I emailed a scan of the 'date due' page to the librarian asking what the late fee was...
2006-01-02 12:32:39 AM  
Lister: How long was I in stasis?
Holly: Well, I couldn't release you until the radiation reached a safe background level.
Lister: How long?!?!
Holly: Three million years.
Lister: Three million years?! ... I've still got that library book.
2006-01-02 12:36:08 AM  
So does this mean that if I try to return the Netflix movie that mistakenly was sent to me in 60-some years, I'll be worthy of a fark.humour holohyperlink?
2006-01-02 12:42:17 AM  
This is what comes of fark listing its articles in order posted. I RTFA thinking it was going to be Doug Flutie's father, having checked out a book on NFL rules, including drop-kicks. (Referring to fark post up the thread.)

/Still worried about driving through Maryland, due to 30 year old bench warrant that may still be outstanding.
2006-01-02 1:02:55 AM  

My phone box has a side labeled "customer side" and if that's where you were testing, then how could that be wrong? At a minimum, take a picture of it and show that in court.

If you were on the company side, then I don't know. Would have to see the criminal statute to see if you violated it. Since you were only 'testing' it, I would think that being charged with violating a repair prohibition wouldn't make technical sense. You know, since you weren't reparing it and would have called the company if it didn't test out. Seems reasonable since telcos charge you if you call in a defective line and they determine the problem is in your house. I test the line at the box too in such cases to make sure.

Another issue you seem to raise is that the cops acted outside their jurisdiction? Under what authority?
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