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(Local6)   A family with 50 acres of undeveloped land plans to use it for the nations first do-It-yourself funeral and cemetery   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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5671 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2005 at 12:41 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

66 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-12-28 05:13:37 PM  
Someone can't sell their crap property...

Didn't someone awhile back offer a house up for sale, anything OVER 40 grand would go to Katrina??
2005-12-28 05:17:33 PM  
no embalming

I'd hate to be on well water anywhere near this plot of land.
2005-12-28 05:30:53 PM  
This is for CREMATED remains only. Can't you pretty much spread ashes wherever you want?
2005-12-28 09:34:20 PM  
Just awful.
2005-12-29 12:44:38 AM  
Why do I need a do-it-yourself cemetery when I have a back yard and gasoline?
2005-12-29 12:45:37 AM  
Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such instructional videos as "Mothballing Your Battleship" and "Dig Your Own Grave and Save!"
2005-12-29 12:49:22 AM  
It's a nice idea. There are lots o families who can't afford 5 to 15 thousand to plant someone. With the outrageous profits the funeral industry makes I don't think they will let this take off.

If you're single with no insurance what do they do with your body? Nevermind, I don't want to know.
2005-12-29 12:49:58 AM  
Finally a use for the 3 pack of coffins at Costco
2005-12-29 12:51:16 AM  
somehow, some way, the liberals on fark will find a way to blame this on bush.
2005-12-29 12:51:48 AM  
Smells like the neighbors are having a barbecue. No, their just cremating Grandpa.
2005-12-29 12:54:02 AM  
Didn't all cemeteries used to be "do-it-yourself"?
2005-12-29 12:54:39 AM  
So... when does the deli open?
2005-12-29 12:55:40 AM  
why don't they just throw the burned up loved ones in the trash. land fill?
i know thats sick
2005-12-29 12:56:34 AM  
Park closed to public after sunset. Park closed to Mafioso after sunrise.
2005-12-29 12:57:40 AM  
what the hell, this is another of my plans stolen, I smell a leak....this could be big
2005-12-29 12:58:16 AM  
finally a place to put my ex!

\just keeding
\\i have 5 acres myself
2005-12-29 01:04:49 AM  
wow. i just saw this on the rerun of countdown on worst person in the world.
2005-12-29 01:05:29 AM  
fezziwig: no embalming

I'd hate to be on well water anywhere near this plot of land.

I'd hate more to be on well water near a bunch of embalmed bodies. An embalmed corpse is toxic waste. Needless to say I will be cremated.
2005-12-29 01:08:14 AM  
Better get four coffins ready.

[image from too old to be available]

My mistake. Make it five.
2005-12-29 01:08:54 AM  

somehow, some way, the neocons on fark will find a way to blame this on liberals.

Fixed it for ya.
2005-12-29 01:10:28 AM  
I think it depends on how many bodies get buried at the same time as to whether it will affect the well water. If the bodies aren't embalmed - they just decompose. Sounds like an awesome compost heap. They should do it up proper english and plant poppies.
2005-12-29 01:10:59 AM  
How does one go about burying himself? Or is this not really "do-it-yourself"? When I die I'm pretty sure I'm going to have someone else take care of burying me because I doubt I'll be up for the task.
2005-12-29 01:13:10 AM  
We dumped my dad off the side of a boat. No preacher or any of that nonsense, just the family having some beers.

Well, we did have him cremated first.
2005-12-29 01:15:46 AM  
Think about how many animals decompose on the planet every year before you all go wailing about the water table.

/buried (embalmed) my dad last month
//he pre-planned being in a concrete vault
///stainless steel casket
////it cost thousands
//by the time he realized how absurd it was it was all paid for
2005-12-29 01:16:57 AM  
No decision has been made yet, but the board's chair said the land might be better suited for commercial or residential use.

Translation: "The living provide a larger tax base than the dead."
2005-12-29 01:17:50 AM  
Uh oh that's not gonna work.
2005-12-29 01:32:10 AM  
Ah, every day we were dumping the body, she and me. Every day. Pyyyooew.
2005-12-29 01:43:31 AM  
This is great cause this is what I WANT... be buried in the ground, no embalming, no casket, no concrete nonsense. Just straight into the ground so my body can decompose, replenish the soil and make plants and flowers and mushrooms grow, so the little animals will eat them, then they get eaten by the bigger animals, and the bigger animals get eaten by the humans.

Thus, the circle of life is complete.

And I don't have to feel guilty about eating meat.
2005-12-29 01:45:37 AM  
I absolutely resent how the funeral capitalists have such a hold on how to dispose of my useless body when I am gone. Why the heck does it cost so much. Never mind oil prices, lets look into this industry.
2005-12-29 01:47:06 AM  
No decision has been made yet, but the board's chair said the land might be better suited for commercial or residential use.

Bet you can't guess what the decision will be.

Personally, I like the concept of Memorial Gardens, where you can sprinkle the ashes of loved ones. Funerals and burials are becoming so expensive that it's ridiculous and in many areas, the disposal of cremated ashes in the sea, over some wooded areas or in lakes is no longer allowed.

Plus, it is known that cemeteries, old ones, can be sold off to become buildings or parking lots, so that 'eternal plot' you bought is only actually rented. Unless the media pays close attention -- which they rarely do -- you can pretty well assume that transferring any remains will not be done respectfully and the final resting place is liable to be a capped landfill that can't be developed for about 500 years.

Plus, cemeteries take up a lot of space. (Ever seen any of the pictures of those in Louisiana -- the old Cajun ones movie companies like to use? Packed almost completely with crumbling tombs and tombstones, which, since the average burial plot is 6x4x6, lets you know that some of the 'residents' are rubbing elbows.) Newer cemeteries don't allow tombstones, preferring over priced plaques placed at ground level to save money on landscaping fees.

Consider Egypt and the surrounding lands. It seems that every time someone pokes a shove in the ground to dig a garden or build a house, a mummy turns up. The places are infested with them. So many, in fact, that back in the early 1800s, the 'average Joe mummy' was used as fuel for steam engines and the bandages went into making linen paper.

I've seen so many 'Mummy Investigations' on the Discovery channel that I don't want to watch them unless they find one that just about sits up and talks.

That forgotten cemetery discovered in NYC would have been quietly plowed up or built over if it had not been a Slave one, which promptly drew powerful Black interest groups and everyone got PC and stamped it a 'Historical Site'.

In Turkey or Italy, they stumbled on a huge underground necropolis while building a major road and, being pragmatic, gave archeologists a limited time to research it before caving and back filling much of it in and getting on with the highway.

Then again, Mount Everest is pretty well becoming a 'Memorial Garden' with the increase of people with too much money, too little brains, not enough skills wanting to climb the mountain. They don't bring the bodies back above a certain altitude. In fact, it's getting common to find the occasional freeze dried yuppie laying among the hundreds of discarded oxygen tanks that litter the slopes.

The folks living at the base of the mountain don't care. After all, the rich tourists are pouring undreamed of bucks into their pockets.

About the only reason the wreck of the Titanic isn't littered with the bodies of tourists is because far too much equipment is needed to get to it and it costs a bundle. (Though, with the increasing numbers of bored, rich folk renting Russian and French deep sea subs to visit it, I figure that pretty soon the wreck will have some company.)

Just wait until we start going back to the moon. If we manage to drop the costs a bit, I have no doubt that folks will happily pay $10,000 a pound (the average weight of cremains) to have their remains buried in Lunar soil. Since there is apparently no commercial value -- that we know of -- on the moon, chances are such cemeteries will go undisturbed -- at least until the tourist industry figures out a way to get there.
2005-12-29 01:48:53 AM  
BTW, has anyone noticed that apparently, the folks DON'T own the land, but the city does?
2005-12-29 01:49:24 AM  
i kinda just wanna be dropped off in a roadside ditch somehwere...

i figure it'll be a nice surprise! for the adopt a highway people cleanin up the ditches...

when they find me, they can hide me somewhere else!
2005-12-29 01:50:17 AM  
Just Ignorant: We dumped my dad off the side of a boat. No preacher or any of that nonsense, just the family having some beers.
Well, we did have him cremated first.

My grandmother once told me a story about her brother in-law's ashes being thrown overboard. Her sister, my great aunt, wanted to fulfill her husband's wish of having his ashes spread in the Pacific ocean. So several family members got on the boat, with his ashes in a nice urn, and they headed a couple miles from shore.

My great aunt was in a wheelchair and apparently too frail to do it herself, so when they got to the desired spot they bestowed the honor of spreading the ashes to her daughter. Little did anyone know the daughter was not familiar with the typical procedure and nobody told her how to do it. Once they gave her the okay she just picked up the urn, and threw the whole thing into the ocean, where it sank like a rock, gone forever.

My grandmother says the look on everyone's face, especially her sister's, was complete shock and disbelief, and the daughter said, "Uh, did I do that wrong?"

/Happened like 25 years ago
2005-12-29 01:50:30 AM  
Mostly it's about the open casket thing that people tend to want that makes embalming necessary. Most people haven't seen or realize how fast a body starts looking bad and decomposing.

OTOH, my dad would have been pissed if he'd seen the weird painted lip thing that the embalmer gave him in death...
2005-12-29 01:52:09 AM  
A do-it-yourself funeral makes sense to me. It'll give the grieving family a chance to say goodbye, and the level of participation will help that family to move on after the burial.
2005-12-29 01:57:32 AM  
No way do I want the embalming. Maybe people who tempt fate by going to the extreme of climbing mountains havethe right idea. Be dead and gone.
2005-12-29 01:58:01 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
"Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince."
2005-12-29 02:00:16 AM  
It's all good. Nothing to say after that.
2005-12-29 02:00:45 AM  
a family member ashes being thrown overboard, by his brother.
he threw into the wind...everybody got a taste and brought some of steve home.
/RIP buddy, i miss you..
2005-12-29 02:10:38 AM  
I think it's an awesome idea.

Funeral homes are running one of the biggest scams, hard selling overpriced coffin/urns/etc.. to grieving survivors.

I would rather be buried, untreated, into soil so I can decompose naturally. No need for $10,000 velvet-lined casket with TV and Scotchguard.
2005-12-29 02:13:14 AM  
Unright: No need for $10,000 velvet-lined casket with TV and Scotchguard.

If it were socially acceptable I would drape myself in velvet.
2005-12-29 02:23:35 AM  
I think it's a great idea. Seems so wasteful to seal yourself in a steel and concrete box instead of just getting dropped into the ground where you can provide nourishment for the bugs, tree,s grass and flowers.

Most of us spend our whole lives screwing over the environment, the least we can do is give a little something back after we die.

(Don't have to be a treehugger to love nature)
2005-12-29 02:26:37 AM  
I can see it now.....

"Screw your funeral costs, I'll bury the S.O.B. / biatch myself!"
2005-12-29 02:30:00 AM  
You don't need Fifty acres.

Any 'ol backyard works just fine - I've been doing it for years.

Check out
if you want to get fancy about it, lots of fun and interesting tips.

(Why am I thinking of my ex-mother-in-law right now?)
2005-12-29 02:34:26 AM  
Old enough to know better: I think it's a great idea. Seems so wasteful to seal yourself in a steel and concrete box instead of just getting dropped into the ground where you can provide nourishment for the bugs, tree,s grass and flowers.

I agree, but I've known some idiots who are terrified/disgusted at the thought of being eaten by bugs and worms after burial. I always say the same thing: Why the fark would you care at that point?
2005-12-29 02:49:40 AM  
I don't know how I would feel about having to bury a loved one on my own, who knows..maybe I would grieve less. It might be a good thing to see and do what people did back in the old days before you could hire someone to take care of that sort of thing. However, I might also feel bad for young children who don't understand about death yet. I felt pretty traumatized after seeing my grandmother's body during her viewing service when I was about 13.

I don't know if it would have been better or worse to have to watch or participate in putting her body in the ground. But I would prefer to have my body be naturally disposed let nature use whatever is left of me when I'm gone.
2005-12-29 02:57:18 AM  
Wow. I think it is all about how the various forms of media have scared the be jesus out of us. You are born, you live, you die. End of story. How I dislike to plagiarize " from to dust".
2005-12-29 03:11:48 AM  
Outstanding!!! I can finally clear out some room in my chest freezer.

Whoever said crack ho's are stringy never tried to stack them 4 high in only 20 cubic feet of space.
2005-12-29 03:37:59 AM  
Do they not realize how much weed they could grow on 50 acres? Instead, they choose to fill it with dead people, who will rot in a few years. The casket and tombstone will still be there, however, to take up space.. for many, many years. When I die, I want to be burned to a crisp and flushed down the toilet. I really don't even care if some twisted bastard has his way with my corpse before it goes in the incinerator; hell, if there is an afterlife I may even get to look down and laugh at the sick bastard.
2005-12-29 03:43:32 AM  
Epsilon: your story made me laugh. I don't see any problem with how she did it, though - did they really want to keep the empty urn? Or was she supposed to leave some of Dad inside there?

The commerce of dead person disposal kind of baffles me, honestly - especially the concept of people getting "closure" out of eyeballing the pickled deceased. I do like the idea of the people in the article, though - provided that any water-table contamination issues are addressed, why not let bodies or cremains be recycled back into a pretty patch of earth without all the middlemen and artifice? Seems like a good plan to me.
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