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(AP)   This week's dumbass burglar, who left footprints in the snow that went from the scene of the crime directly to his front door, brought to you from Lansdale, PA   ( apnews.myway.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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4174 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2005 at 9:57 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

41 Comments     (+0 »)
2005-12-08 07:08:26 PM  
Probably a North Penn graduate.
2005-12-08 09:39:02 PM  
when will criminals learn to walk backwards and in circles in the snow......cmon
2005-12-08 10:01:15 PM  

Why do stupid people give PA a bad name? We aren't all dumb. Just most of us.
2005-12-08 10:02:51 PM  
damn, that's pretty dumbass
2005-12-08 10:06:05 PM  
mathmatix [TotalFark]
"when will criminals learn to walk backwards and in circles in the snow......cmon"

When they watch The Shining for the first time.

All work and no play makes Skinink a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Skinink a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Skinink a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Skinink a dull boy.

[image from esplatter.com too old to be available]

2005-12-08 10:07:07 PM  
The following kinds of stories were formerly weird, but they now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation:

1. an old, widely-advertised phone-sex number is reassigned to a church/charity
2. suspicious package thought to be a bomb, turns out to be something stupid
3. robber leaves his ID [wallet or appointment card for probation officer or etc.] at the scene
4. peace/brotherhood conference erupts into violence
5. robber on getaway accidentally hails unmarked police car
6. political candidate dies but still wins the election
7. family thinks he's dead, but he's not and attends his own funeral
8. hunters shoot each other
9. funeral home owner neglects/mixes up bodies
10. "victimized" drug buyer complains to police that someone sold him weak or bogus drugs
11. some countries prohibit giving children certain names
12. in middle of an obvious drug raid, customer wanders up and asks cop if he can buy some drugs
13. shoots himself while supposedly demonstrating gun safety
14. global warming caused by animal methane
15. burglar gets stuck in vent or chimney
16. courthouse visitor/defendant inadvertently places contraband on the x-ray tables at entrance
17. burglar falls asleep during job.
18. family accidentally leaves behind a kid at a highway rest stop
19. driver's license applicant crashes into examiner station before or during test
21. overdue-library-book scofflaws actually go to jail
22. DUI tickets for "driving" a bicycle [or horse or riding lawn mower or etc.]
23. starts fire because can't stop smoking even though hooked up to oxygen machine
24. person checks quantity in tank by using a match or lighter to peer inside
25. older teacher/younger boy relationship
26. firefighter with an arson habit [to keep in practice or to feel wanted or etc.]
27. local election ends in tie, settled (by law) by coin flip or draw of cards
28. Japanese men committing suicide because of overwork
29. angry customer drives car right through store's front door
30. heating-oil delivery to wrong house, resulting in flooded basement
31. postal worker hoards mail because he's behind in delivering it
32. bank robber hails taxi or municipal bus for getaway
33. the annual student cheating riots in Bangladesh
34. criminal on the lam goes on national tv talk show and mentions that he's wanted
35. dog steps on gun, shooting the master
36. pack of animals breaks into liquor cabinet or fermenting vat, get drunk
37. a loved one died at home, but the relative never gets around to burying him or her
38. school zero-tolerance policies for "weapons" that are purely, obviously ornamental
39. amateur videographers set up miniature cameras in restrooms
40. animal-hoarding (mostly of cats) women
41. carjackers who never learned to drive stick shift and must abandon the car
42. criminal suspect evading police, jumps in river to escape, and drowns
43. young-looking adults impersonate teenagers and return to high school
44. African nation's rumors of people with power to make penises disappear
45. humongous abdominal cysts removed in surgery
46. unlabeled urn with loved one's ashes mistakenly stolen or sold at yard sale
47. husband takes his wife back even though she just tried to kill him
48. judges punish young people by forcing them to listen to [classical or polka or etc.] music
49. hit-and-run driver drives on and on with body or bicycle in grille or windshield
50. criminal, cornered by police dog, bites the dog
51. burglars leave footprints in snow, directly to their homes
53. video shoe-cams or smoke-detector-cams to spy on women
54. Japanese making many silent hang-up telephone calls against former lover or business partner
55. robber smashes store's surveillance "camera," but it's only the lens, and it captured his face
56. inadvertently tries to cash a stolen personal check at the store [bank] where his victim works
57. accidental bombing of house by airliner's "blue ice"
58. elderly citizen trying to convince bureaucrat that, contrary to records, he's not really dead
59. elderly motorist makes wrong turn, gets lost for days
60. bands of criminals videotape their entire crime sprees for kicks, but makes it easy for cops
61. parents frolic while their small kids are left home alone
62. people trying to outrun police while driving slow-moving vehicles
63. combining jellyfish gene to produce another plant or animal that glows
64. imposter cop has car with flashing light, stopping motorists, accidentally stops real cop
65. parents who leave their small kids locked in hot cars while they frolic
66. inmates who advertise innocently for penpals on lonely-hearts pages on the Internet.
2005-12-08 10:10:53 PM  
[image from members.home.nl too old to be available]
2005-12-08 10:13:42 PM  
Woo, Lansdalian born and raised.

Town's full of urban wanna-be white trash.

Surprised I don't know the guy.

Not surprised to see Hagbardr in the thread before me...
2005-12-08 10:15:58 PM  
He had an instrument of crime? Must have been an accordion.
2005-12-08 10:16:26 PM  
i knew 2 brothers in high school that caught a porta-potty on fire in the winter, then ran into the woods to hide so they could watch the fire dept. come put it out.

well the cops came too and followed the foot prints right to them
2005-12-08 10:18:50 PM  
And he's from the west side of town as well. No surprise there.
2005-12-08 10:24:32 PM  
Aw, people close to my hometown.

/from Hatboro
2005-12-08 10:31:49 PM  
skinink did you say the shining?

no i distinctly said the shinning

no tv and no beer make homer go something something:
[image from img369.imageshack.us too old to be available]
2005-12-08 10:42:29 PM  
Everyone that lives in Lansdale thinks it's the most boring town ever, and, after working there for a year I can say that it's pretty boring. Lunch at Mother Bruce's! on me guys! whooo!!!!
2005-12-08 10:45:32 PM  
I can see it now. A whole squad of policemen following the footprints all stealthy and such, they get to the door, and a tall, lanky guy in a big orange fro wig kicks 'em in the balls and the audience laughs and applauds.
2005-12-08 10:51:03 PM  
Whadda you mean probably a North Penn graduate? He attended but probably did not graduate. As a formeer resident I agree with PopeDX, but also must add Im surprised the cops of the Borough were smart enough to follow the footprints. Still remember lighting farts in Lansbowl parking lot as a teenager..... God I was Farked....
2005-12-08 11:01:01 PM  
If you walk in circles in snow, surely it's misleading, but how do you get anywhere?

/inquiring burglars want to know
//actually, I just like to cover my tracks when smoking in the snow in my 'spot'
2005-12-08 11:07:54 PM  
Damn krovvy, where the hell did that list come from?
2005-12-08 11:19:17 PM  
I'm (almost) on fark!
2005-12-08 11:20:25 PM  
Chris Wheaton
2005-12-08 11:23:31 PM  
At least you guys have train service! Us up here in Emmaus have to ride a COW down to Colmar to get to "the city"!

2005-12-08 11:32:38 PM  
Also close to my hometown. I used to hang out with some white trash folk in Landsdale.

/Upper Dublin
//Cardinals > Hatters
2005-12-08 11:33:59 PM  
Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird. The Granddaddy of all the weird news sites, like Fark.com. Used to have a weekly newspaper column, which along with Cecil Adams, was the highlight of my week back when I was a stoner.
2005-12-08 11:58:29 PM  
hahhahahah oh man I live in Lansdale, PA. The most boring place in the world.

He probably did go to NP because thats where everyone goes since we have 3300 kids in our HS for 10,11,12.
2005-12-09 12:24:07 AM  
I also live in Lansdale, man, what a farkin moron.
Stupid people everywhere, and not a stop and think.
2005-12-09 12:30:07 AM  
LOL I know who this kid is!

(fyi, he did go to NP... i dunno if he graduated or not...)
2005-12-09 12:56:19 AM  
Well NP graduates about a thousand peeps a year...we can't all be winners.
2005-12-09 12:57:04 AM  
And we are not that boring - we have...a thousand pharmacies and Merck. So there.
2005-12-09 01:50:20 AM  
Christ, there are a lot of Lansdale farkers. I'll be working there this summer and hopefully after law school.
2005-12-09 01:52:02 AM  
ya know, you'd think SOME burglers would read fark or something and put two and two together to make FOUR one of these days when it comes to stealing crap in the snow...
2005-12-09 07:35:16 AM  
Whew... there for a minute I thought I was going to have to admit I knew the asshole.
2005-12-09 08:12:15 AM  
Lansdale for life. Actually, I lived in Souderton for the past 10 years and just moved a little bit up 309 into dear ol' Lansdale. There ARE a lot of Lansdalians here...

/Lansbowl is dirty, but not as dirty as LC girls
2005-12-09 09:24:58 AM  
Lansdale: The town that strives to be a nice as Philly's worst rowhomes.
2005-12-09 10:26:48 AM  
I was wondering what the news vans were doing at the Lansdale Police station yesterday.

Is Trails Automotive on Cannon Ave? I saw it on the news last night and had trouble placing it.
2005-12-09 10:35:02 AM  
Proud LC grad here. Just moved to Norristown. I miss it very much
2005-12-09 10:47:44 AM  
hahaha. stupid guy.

/lives in Souderton
//upper Montgomery County is the most boring place EVER
2005-12-09 10:48:49 AM  
Holy Crap, im really worried so many Lansdalians are on Fark. I was only a passin' through for a year in North Wales. Back at home with the REAL trash in Philly, now. I must say that whole area is the most boring piece of crazy shiat that ever existed.

A Mother Bruce's reference. WTF. I had no clue that so many people from that area could USE a computer, let alone got on the newfangled interweb.
2005-12-09 10:57:42 AM  
Ldale! My hometown. How I miss the patio.

/North Penn rocketship baby
2005-12-09 11:01:12 AM  
Damn. I used to drink at the Patio all the time. Too bad they tore it down. There's always slumming at Riccardi's
2005-12-09 11:34:44 AM  
One Christmas Eve I was at Riccardi's because it was the only thing open and some 40ish year old trash bag was stripping on the pool table. Good times.
2005-12-09 03:22:39 PM  
No way! I live 10 minutes from Lansdale. Amazing! Stupid criminals in my hometown!
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