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(Wausau Daily Herald)   Family's Thanksgiving tradition isn't eating turkey and ham, but rather a day- and evening-long pub crawl. Farkers line up hoping to be adopted   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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6647 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2005 at 2:00 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2005-11-28 01:34:49 PM  
"We're all a bunch of loser alcoholics," said Bill Jaeger, sporting a freshely blackened eye, which he earned from his wife. After stopping at each bar, the family members would trash the place. "It's just the [hic] camaraderie of getting..." Bill's comment was interrupted by his inevitable fall into the gutter.
2005-11-28 02:02:29 PM  
With a name like Jaeger is there any questioning their alcoholism.
2005-11-28 02:03:01 PM  
What's the point of a pub crawl if you're going to be drinking swill like Budweiser and Coors?
2005-11-28 02:03:05 PM  
So instead of following the American tradition of eating a metric shiatload and getting obese, they're following the British tradition of drinking a metric shiatload and getting wasted. And liver disease. Sweet!
2005-11-28 02:03:10 PM  

Have you ever actually seen anyone hiccup when drunk?

/hiccups when drunk
2005-11-28 02:03:22 PM  
This isn't news. Most families get a little tipsy during the holidays, they just do it in the comfort of their own homes
2005-11-28 02:04:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

highly unimpressed
2005-11-28 02:05:31 PM  
Only in Wausau.
The Fargo-esque accent kicks in geographically right about there.
2005-11-28 02:06:36 PM  
This year, the family rented a 15-seat van that Margaret drove. Sipping a glass of soda at the Cruise-In, she happily explained that she was the designated driver, though she would gladly turn over the keys to someone outside the family if they volunteered.

i think its called a chauffer, cheapskates!!!!

/sounds like more fun than i had on turkey day though.
2005-11-28 02:08:40 PM  
I don't know if it's a hiccup as much as it is a brief gasp for air because you think you're going to puke.

/I want some jaeger' right now
//a jaegerbomb would be nice
///sans hiccupping
////extra slashies
2005-11-28 02:09:02 PM  

/has family in Wausau
//not-so-secretly hoped it was them
2005-11-28 02:09:12 PM  
Bill Jaegar: It's just the camaraderie of getting together.

That has never worked for me. I've tried several incarnations of that, too.
2005-11-28 02:09:18 PM  
I love it!
2005-11-28 02:09:40 PM  
Spiffy? I think not.. Dumbass is more like it.

To each their own..
2005-11-28 02:10:10 PM  
wheee!!! alcohol and holidays; sometimes they go hand in hand.

[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-28 02:11:48 PM  
Thanks to a lifetime of parents watching 60 Minutes, I can no longer read the name "Wausau" without hearing "boopidy boopidy boopidy buck buck buck" running through my mind.
2005-11-28 02:12:37 PM  
you can come here and get the $1.50 tap.

Holy shiat! I pay $6.75 for 32oz domestic tap.
2005-11-28 02:13:16 PM  
Why is it "dumbass" to hang out with your family and have a few drinks?

Don't you people drink a little at the holidays with family? Why is everyone harshing on these people?
2005-11-28 02:13:21 PM  
That does it. I'm moving to Wisconsin. Ya got pub surfing on Thanksgiving, snow 10 months out of the year, cheese, the Packers, and a fire truck factory.
2005-11-28 02:13:30 PM  
This sounds like my family except for the following changes: The Jaeger family of Marathon had its Thanksgiving get-together Friday. But instead of turkey and candied yams on the menu, it was a steady diet of Budweiser, Miller Genuine Draft and Coors Light.

It should read: The Morris family of Hertford, NC had its Thanksgiving get-together Thursday. But instead of ham and stuffing on paper plates, it was a steady force feed of Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Makers Mark.

Seriously, I get to my moms on Thursday and I hadn't even walked in the door (they were on the porch) before they asked me what I wanted to drink. I love my family. Drinking makes everything more fun especially them.
2005-11-28 02:14:23 PM  
Thanksgiving is one of the busiest nights at bars around here in Green Bay, after the family has gone home, and you've got nothing to do, hell, why not go hang out with friends and drink?
2005-11-28 02:16:15 PM  
yeah, it sounds awesome to me! I've gone on chauffered wine tours, this doesn't sound much different...okay beer != wine but still, good for them!
2005-11-28 02:16:35 PM  
Hey they stole my weekend tradition.
2005-11-28 02:17:54 PM  
And their last name is "Jaeger". How fresh is that?
2005-11-28 02:20:37 PM  
Am I the only one who read the headline as a "day-and-evening long pub brawl"?
2005-11-28 02:22:33 PM  
Savonarola_Redux: Am I the only one who read the headline as a "day-and-evening long pub brawl"?
2005-11-28 02:31:12 PM  
That's the same way I celebrate Saturdays.
2005-11-28 02:31:48 PM  
Ahhhh, Wisconsin...

[image from too old to be available]

I love Wisconsin. I love coming here. I perform here a lot, because I've discovered that you people apparently have some sort of federal grant for drinking.

It's you're insane! You pay less for liquor than anybody I know anywhere in the country. Nobody pays less for liquor than you!

What d'you, what d'you, what d'you, wh ho HOW? I don't know if you're using that farm subsidy money, or if you're just hijacking liquor trucks, but this f**kin' insane.

(from the audience) "It's volume, Lewis!"

Is it volume? It's unbe-f**kin'-lievable. It's staggering! I come here 'cause basically if I spend four days here drinking, even with the plane ticket it's cheaper than drinkin' in New York!

How do you know when it's New Year's? That's the big mystery to me! What's the difference? I've been in bars here, and it's like New Year's every f**k night! Oh, New Year's, that's when w-w-we drink with hats on. Now I've been drunker here than anyplace else I've been in my life.
And remember this: you are not, you are not alcoholics. You, and my hat is off, are professionals!

/couldn't say it better if I tried
2005-11-28 02:33:19 PM  
Can't find a $1.50 beer in Milwaukee? He's going to the wrong places.
2005-11-28 02:33:22 PM  
"swill like Budweiser and Coors".

Quite a reach for the third post, bravo.
2005-11-28 02:33:31 PM  
I grew up near there (Merrill, WI) and recognize most of the bar names as well as the last name as I went to school with a couple of Jaegers. My family used to do full family tavern crawls on snowmobiles during January and February when I was young. Good fun, good fun.

Now of course we just drink old-fashioneds at home like civilized people.
2005-11-28 02:33:56 PM  
My family needs to start this. Or at least the cool part of the family. This year we had a "girl's night out" with all my female cousins and a couple friends of one particular cousin. This particular cousin and her friends are the kind that like to sit high on their horses in judgement over even a glass of wine at dinner. After a meal spent enduring slight digs, my sis, my cool cousin, and myself met up with our men at the bar and had fun the rest of the night. It was a real treat especially since one of the couple's has 4 kids and hasn't been out together with other people in a long time.
2005-11-28 02:38:50 PM  
Having recently moved to Milwaukee from WV, I can verify this is the tradition of many families in the area. My fiance and I made several jokes about our new aquaintances doing this. Interesting that it shows up on Fark. Seems like a good idea to me, but I'd go for liquor over beer anyday.

/The bars were packed Thursday and Friday, must depend on when everyone can make it.
2005-11-28 02:39:39 PM  
One of the few upsides to living in the rural midwest. Cheap drinks at the local dive bars. Wisconsin does have better beer options than Coors though. New Glarus, Sprecher, Leines.

/Drinking makes relatives tolerable.
2005-11-28 02:39:54 PM  
1.50 for a beer? ahh... the midwest

/4 bucks is cheap out here
//so i jus smoke the farkk all day...
2005-11-28 02:40:54 PM  
And their last name is "Jaeger". How fresh is that?

So they're hunters?
2005-11-28 02:44:44 PM  
So they're hunters?

That would be the literal, non-funny way to look at it.

If I seek out licorice-flavored liquors, am I a Jaegerjaeger?
2005-11-28 02:45:29 PM  
This is in 'Sconny, right?

And to think, I thought this was a tradition for every family located in Minnesota's armpit. How is this news?


Only in 'Sconny this is news.
2005-11-28 02:48:06 PM  
Wausau representin'!
2005-11-28 02:50:17 PM  
Of course, as the article states, they don't do the pub crawl in lieu of turkey and such, but rather they get together on FRIDAY, the day after they all eat turkey and such with the other sides of their family. Still sounds fun, but not quite the turkey for scotch swap I'd imagined.
2005-11-28 02:52:52 PM  
My mother's maiden name is Jaeger, can I get a ride in the van?

I just tried something better than a Jagerbomb. It is called a Blitzkreig. Jagermeister and the energy drink, Kamikaze. Damn fine drink!
2005-11-28 02:53:19 PM  
college towns rule for this reason. In Gainesville, my drinking buddies and I have worked out a great schedule:

Mon: Grog House: $1 bottles
Tues: Dockside: $1 22 oz. domestic drafts (even Yuengling)
Wed: Gator City: Ladies night. Take our lady friends, they feed us free drinks
Thurs: Market Street: Ladies night. see above.
Fri: Grog House: Beat the clock. 25 cent pitchers at 10, price goes up by a quarter every 15 min. Easy to get drunk for a dollar.

I never wanna graduate :(
2005-11-28 03:07:50 PM  
damn i just have to love my home town of wausau. WAUSAU...where the beer flows like water.
2005-11-28 03:11:03 PM  
hey HOGANS, budweiser and coors is not swill here that is like gold to some people...real wausau swill is Blatz that is by far the worse beer ever, they practicly give that away here. I'd rather have myself a nice Leinekugels than any of those brands, it's great wisconsin beer.
2005-11-28 03:13:24 PM  
mmmm... $1 Yuengling....
2005-11-28 03:15:44 PM  
I miss the 12 Bars of Christmas...

/must go on it this year
2005-11-28 03:22:46 PM  
So their family members who are under 21 are SOL on Thanksgiving?
2005-11-28 03:23:21 PM  
Who can blame anyone for wanting to get hammered for the holidays?

You've got all these obligations to deal with, the weather sucks (at least up here in Yankee Land), and people are bigger oblivious assholes than they are the rest of the year.

No wonder people drink. That's why I drink.

2005-11-28 03:31:25 PM  

no, here in WI you can go to bars and even drink at any age as long as you are with your parents
2005-11-28 03:33:48 PM  
spartan -
I'm surprised I didn't already know that. I have many relatives there.
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