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(Orlando Weekly)   Eat at Doug's, where "people can eat manatees, just like God intended"   ( divider line
    More: Florida  
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11549 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2005 at 9:57 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2005-10-05 5:50:11 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-10-05 5:56:41 PM  
Yum! I want to eat a manatee! Let market demand reign!!!
2005-10-05 5:59:50 PM  
Oh, the Huge Manatee!!

/someone post that pic, and quick!
2005-10-05 6:00:02 PM  
2005-10-05 6:00:46 PM  
I want some pitbull. I hear they are very good when stewed.
2005-10-05 6:01:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-10-05 6:02:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-10-05 6:04:21 PM  
But will Manatee taste like whale?

[image from too old to be available]

or chicken?

/cool, I've got a bigger "manatee."
2005-10-05 6:06:34 PM  
I can't believe I thought I'd be able to get here in time to post the Huge Manatee picture. I've been a fool.
2005-10-05 6:14:49 PM  
Well, that's one way to ensure their survival...
2005-10-05 6:20:07 PM  
I'd try it, sounds like they're tasty.
2005-10-05 6:29:24 PM  
Tasty? I wonder if there is a version of "Beer Can Chicken" - but with Manatee.

I'm guessing a keg would be involved.

Maybe a Manatee Lu-ow - with some fresh pineapple, some poi ... mango chutney.
2005-10-05 7:11:48 PM  
Yum! Manatee steaks with a big bowl of California Condor stew and top it off with a bald eagle drumstick. Now that's good eatin'!

But come to think of it maybe these guys have a point. I live in Idaho and recently I heard a "save the manatee" PSA on the radio. /Looks at atlas/ Nope, I'm pretty much land locked here. Don't know if I can do anything about saving those critters. Why the hell are they targeting me? Around here I'm much more likely to find a wolf & grizzly bear diner somewhere in the woods. Right next to where the bear does his business.
2005-10-05 9:50:04 PM  
Offered a nice juicy plate of Manatee steak and he refuses it.

2005-10-05 10:03:04 PM  
I didn't (re)read the article, but this was admitted as a fake in the next week's issue I believe, if it's from 2003.
2005-10-05 10:05:17 PM  
submitter = me

I found out that it's a joke article but it did have me, and a few hundred other people, fooled for a while.

link to the "correction"
2005-10-05 10:09:15 PM  
"manatee fart bubble" = good name for a band
2005-10-05 10:10:25 PM  

Not falling for it. Everyone knows manatee fart bubbles are ovular.
2005-10-05 10:13:42 PM  
The only thing tastier than manatee is veal.
2005-10-05 10:14:58 PM  
So it's fake???

What the hell I'm I supposed to do with the 800lbs of blubber in my freezer!!
2005-10-05 10:15:08 PM  
you know what's sad? I remember this story and retraction from years ago, but have to consider my age if someone asks.
2005-10-05 10:15:26 PM  
If God didn't want us to eat animals then why did he make them out of meat?
2005-10-05 10:17:19 PM  
I work for Doug.

So I am really getting a kick really .

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
2005-10-05 10:19:21 PM  
Koontze is about 5-feet, eight-inches tall and at least 200 pounds. He wore greasy jeans and an inexplicably spotless white dress shirt. In the course of two hours, he put away seven Bud Lights, nine Marlboro Mediums and two packages of beef jerky. He also managed to connect the protected status of manatees to the highest levels of the "Democrat party" under Clinton's "reign of terror."

"It's not a goddamn coincidence that biatch Janet Reno is from Florida, and we get these water zones," he told me. Manatees are not now, and never were, endangered, he added. "farking environuts. Ever seen one of 'em enjoying themselves out on a day of fishing?"

yeah, these guys in the article sound like real educated republicans.
2005-10-05 10:24:20 PM  
moops, baby - The article is a joke. Fake. Satire.

No need to thank me, just doing my part to help out you edumacated democrats.
2005-10-05 10:29:00 PM  
I bet ancient people ate manatee steaks while riding on their dinosaurs, just like God intended.
2005-10-05 10:29:05 PM  
What the hell I'm I supposed to do with the 800lbs of blubber in my freezer!!

Tell her to sneak out the garage door while your wife's upstairs changing, and go 'round back where you'll drop her clothes and dominatrix outfit, as well as this week's check.
2005-10-05 10:30:30 PM  
Love how the lib journalist has to get his republican jibes in every couple of paragraphs.

George Bush and all republicans are responsible for the bizarre manatee hunt club.

To bad they did not catch Reno or Rosie.
2005-10-05 10:30:57 PM  
That reminds me of this funny story from a couple of months back titled "Manatee Bacon"...

Funny stuff
2005-10-05 10:33:20 PM  
strothgar: What the hell I'm I supposed to do with the 800lbs of blubber in my freezer!!

Sell it to the Japanese for "scientific research".

/It probably says a lot about my cynicism, but midway about through the first paragraph, I started thinking "This has got to be a joke."
2005-10-05 10:34:47 PM  
Fake or not, its stories like this that make me proud to live in the only state with its own fark tag.

Seen lotsa manatees. They are surprisingly graceful underwater. Wouldn't want to eat one, though. They remind me of Anna Nichole Smith, and I wouldn't want to eat her either -- anyway you interpret it.

/One thing about manatees: they get run over all the time, yet are never "road kill."
2005-10-05 10:35:03 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-10-05 10:35:53 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Unavailable for comment.
2005-10-05 10:37:33 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2005-10-05 10:38:30 PM  
whoops, heres the link I hope...

link Manatee Bacon

It talks about "Manatee Farms" too, it's silly
2005-10-05 10:39:17 PM  
Younger manatees are some of the cutest creatures ever. Older manatees are some of the most disturbingly large creatures ever.
2005-10-05 10:40:32 PM  
I'm a manatee
you're a sea cow!
what you need is a job and an education!
but i lvie in the sea
whatever, talk to the hand
2005-10-05 10:46:47 PM  
I'd eat it.
2005-10-05 11:03:00 PM  
The reporter thinks he's Carl Hiassen
2005-10-05 11:09:48 PM  
thanks submitter! that's one of the most intersting articles i've read in a really long time.
2005-10-05 11:23:14 PM  
Well, thanks submitter. Now I am hungry and none of the local pizza places serve manatee as a topping.

/got endangered species?
2005-10-05 11:30:19 PM  
That article smells like a hoax.
2005-10-05 11:33:41 PM  
if they tasted good they wouldn't be endangered... duh
2005-10-05 11:39:06 PM  
Manatee's bend props!
2005-10-05 11:43:26 PM  
I would imagine the entire population is GPS tagged by now, so if any sensors did suddenly stop moving or go out-of-water someone might be around to investigated. Where is a link to the retraction?
2005-10-05 11:45:55 PM  
I'm going down to Cowtown
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea

-They Might be Giants
2005-10-05 11:46:17 PM  
In Australia (up north) they still catch and eat Dugong.
The Aboriginies that is. But here's the killer: They spear it, drag it to shore in a canoe... then (I kid you not), they FARK it while it's still warm. Something about 'returning their seed to the ocean' or somesuch. It's supposed to be a ritual but I say they probably enjoy it.

So anyway, they take turns in farking this poor dying mammal and then they slit it's throat, dice it up and cart away the meat. Considered to be their right to hunt roo, dugong and turtles to this day. I don't know if they fark the turtles and roos but I wouldn't put it past them.

Wonder who get's the juicy bit?
2005-10-05 11:58:48 PM  
I went snorkeling in a manatee preserve a few years ago. Manatees are scary as shiat! Sure, they're big and cute and friendly; they're also completely silent. They'll sneak up behind you and scare the living daylights out of you. I think it's a game to them.
2005-10-06 12:00:45 AM  
eat me
2005-10-06 12:15:26 AM  
Jim- no last name, from the article, sounds like a real Dale Gribble. He should have used the last name Shacleford.
/Saskatoon , from first pic, rocks! Anyone from the Greenville SC area should stop in and try the alligator.
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