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(icWales)   Drunken prank leads to armed siege, rubber bullet to groin   ( icwales.icnetwork.co.uk) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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10459 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2005 at 3:23 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

51 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-10-02 03:25:25 PM  
Mammary glands!
2005-10-02 03:25:31 PM  
2005-10-02 03:26:00 PM  
doh!!!! it changed what i said.... wtf???
2005-10-02 03:26:08 PM  
now that's odd...

/wrinkles forehead at time stamp order
j z
2005-10-02 03:26:22 PM  
2005-10-02 03:26:43 PM  
SlappyKincaid: Welcome to the filter.

/try the veal
2005-10-02 03:26:59 PM  
2005-10-02 03:27:25 PM  
Welcome to the rubber bullet to the groin.
2005-10-02 03:27:28 PM  
AllahAckbar: now that's odd...

/wrinkles forehead at time stamp order

Forgot the AM/PM time stamp order. D'oh!!

2005-10-02 03:29:47 PM  
"It was the police shouting, 'C'mon Dom, open up we know you're in there'. I think they'd come because he'd breached the order.

"At which point he turned to me and winked before shouting back, 'F**k off, I've got a gun and a hostage'.

Hmmm...I have to make a mental note to not shout at cops that I've got a gun and hostage.
2005-10-02 03:32:22 PM  
The English that the woman in this article uses is amazing. The average American would have absolutely no idea wtf she was talking about.
2005-10-02 03:37:05 PM  
"... jumped out the window and did a runner."

I know that doesn't mean what i'm thinking but you never know.
2005-10-02 03:37:54 PM  
heh heh heh! "weeners"!
2005-10-02 03:41:01 PM  
I cannot believe people are still against eugenics!
2005-10-02 03:44:03 PM  
Darwin thins this guys herd. One down.
2005-10-02 03:46:03 PM  
It's all good fun 'til someone loses a nut.
2005-10-02 03:51:38 PM  
WTF? She's boobies all up and his weeners is cranked to the boobies and is just boobies to americans and her weeners get boobies with a knife to her boobies but when he weeners it goes all bad boobies.

/Slaps mammary glands and thinks boobies weeners.
//To much sherry I'm guessing.
2005-10-02 03:52:35 PM  
Shot thro the scrotes, and you're to blame,
Darling you give Limeys a bad name ba-BOOM !
2005-10-02 03:53:11 PM  
woohooo my first Weeners!

And your excited by that?
2005-10-02 03:54:51 PM  
woohooo my first Weeners!
2005-10-02 03:56:31 PM  
funniest. article. evar.
2005-10-02 03:59:08 PM  
That was an awesome story. Only a Welsh guy could do that and live. I had a mental picture of the guy from Notting Hill. Again, awesome.

Btw, welcome Noob.

/learn to love the filter.
2005-10-02 04:06:27 PM  
I'd like to nominate this "hostage taker" for a pre-emptive darwin award if his testicle gets taken. Hopefully he can't make any little idiots.
2005-10-02 04:15:47 PM  
I'd like to nominate this "hostage taker" for a pre-emptive darwin award if his testicle gets taken. Hopefully he can't make any little idiots.

Unfortunately, only one testicle is being removed so he doesn't qualify for a Darwin.
2005-10-02 04:17:49 PM  
That was iike reading something in another language.

A few translations I need as i couldn't figure them out.

1.In a series of mishaps which TV's mad Mancunian Frank Gallagher would be proud of >

2.Dom saw that he really lost his rag >

3.deprived council estate >
2005-10-02 04:18:16 PM  
"He threw a big axe that he'd bought - I think he'd got it to chop down some trees - through the window pane"
There's not enough cider in the world to make this believable.
Barry is a shiate hole even by Welsh standards.
2005-10-02 04:21:32 PM  
Let me translate some of the story:

"Amanda, said that she'd started that Sunday morning with a trip to the shops for drinks."
-> "It started out like any Sunday morning..."
2005-10-02 04:24:07 PM  
I personally enjoy that the cops are laying seige to the apartment in which she is staying, and she calls to tell them they are just locked in and the hostage mess is a joke, but wants to save her minutes... and then her battery runs out so the cops never get the story.

Is this from a T-mobile commercial?
2005-10-02 05:18:14 PM  
2005-10-02 05:52:09 PM  
Just another drunken, average day in South Wales.
2005-10-02 05:55:25 PM  
woohooo my first Weeners!
2005-10-02 05:58:40 PM  
Yes, it's quite common to start a Sunday morning by drinking heavily and watching TV.
2005-10-02 06:03:52 PM  
Frankly I can no longer handle early drinking on Sundays. Saturdays, now, that's different
2005-10-02 06:19:47 PM  
Translation for the geographically challenged:

> "episode of Shameless."
British TV series about layabout family who survive on welfare benefit and a series of failed scams.

> "mad Mancunian Frank Gallagher"
Lead character in above

> "all-day drinking 'bender'"
Spending all day embibing alchoholic drink without regard to personal wellbeing or dignity

> "council estate"
Cluster of housing provided by local authorities to persons unable to buy or rent their own.

> "North Walk in Barry"
Place in Wales, a country adjacent to England and part of the United Kingdom.

> "a place to crash."
Somewhere to make an impromptu overnight stay. Not usually a long-term arrangement.

> "restraining order"
Court order limiting places and/or times that a person may be in a place, usually as a result of illegal or unreasonable behaviour.

> "flat"
Apartment arranged on one level, usually in blocks of at least 3 storeys.

> "nine litres of cider"
More fermented apple than a person should resonably expect to drink. But its cheap.

>"bottle of sherry"
A beverage enjoyed by old ladies. And young ones in the absence of anything else.


> "on the box"
On the television.

>"we were all hammered"
We'd had too much of the cider/sherry.

> "did a runner."
Proceeded briskly on foot in a direction likely to take him away from danger/the police/instant death.

> "front door was deadlocked"
Type of lock requiring a key to open it from either side if it has been turned twice in the correct direction.

> "really lost his rag"
Became agitated and angered to the point he was unable to maintain his usual composure.

> "phoned 999"
The number for emergency services (like 911 in the 'states)

> "rubber bullet the size of a baked bean tin."
What he deservered to get in the nads for being such a a-hole.

>"Amanda is willing to offer Peck a place to stay when he gets out of jail."
Proof that some people never learn.

> "sofa"
Item of furniture.

I hope this is of use to some of you :o)
2005-10-02 06:40:38 PM  
American Translation, not as funny but for the mentally retarded that can't comprehend the british:

some brits were dating each other and split, one brit had an order to keep away from this area, then they hooked back up and when he was at her house the police came for some reason and they were already totally wasted, the door was locked and the police shouted at the guy to come out, and he told them to fark off that he had a hostage and a gun, which he had neither of, cops cordoned off the block and prepared for a hostage situation, once their friend found out about this he jumped out the window and ran like hell, after a while the cops finally bust in and shoot the guy in the testicle with some rubber bullets, now his testicle has to be removed and he's in jail for taking a hostage

\king of runons
\\also likes backslashes
\\\really really likes backslashes
\\\\don't you like backslashes too?
2005-10-02 06:50:26 PM  
He is likely to have trouble however, when the rubber bullet hits his groin?
2005-10-02 07:34:05 PM  
Ha! A great story well told. Bullshiat or not.

/hasn't learned how to do backslashes yet
//is it the backslash key?
2005-10-02 07:39:24 PM  
Isn't there a Golden Earring song that goes "When the bullet hits the groin"?
2005-10-02 07:57:43 PM  
thro the scrotes

2005-10-02 08:09:28 PM  
sirgrim:some brits were dating each other and split, one brit had an order to keep away from this area, then they hooked back up

Sorry to be picky, but the woman had split from someone else; the twat was merely giving her a 'sofa' to sleep on. She went to the shop for booze because he was barred from the area, which in a bizzarre twist was where his flat was. This seems strange!!
2005-10-02 08:24:12 PM  
You fail to grasp Tae Kwan Leep. Approach me so that you may see.

Observe closely, class. Rubber bullet to the groin.
2005-10-02 08:25:28 PM  
bahahaha, priceless!!!
2005-10-02 08:26:57 PM  
That story is funny shiat, especially the way the woman involved tells it. I especially liked the touch that the rubber bullet was "the size of a can of baked beans."

2005-10-02 10:40:36 PM  
mancunian is a person from manchester
2005-10-03 12:39:07 AM  
NOBODY drinks like the Europeans.
2005-10-03 12:53:49 AM  
rubber bullet to groin beats oil hits anus?
2005-10-03 01:02:36 AM  
So "Boobies" now gets changed to "Boobies"? ;)

Poor fella.
2005-10-03 01:04:06 AM  
Damn, that's smart, Drew. Now you're filtering the word that rhymes with "host" even if the letters have one space between them.
2005-10-03 03:25:20 AM  
woohooo my first Weeners!
2005-10-03 03:45:37 AM  
Ouch. For those who don't know, a "rubber" bullet is essentialy a metal shotgun slug coated with rubber.
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