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(CNN)   With all other problems solved, mayor of Puerto Rican village wants to build a UFO landing strip   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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3238 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2005 at 4:28 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

52 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-09-28 11:57:25 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Puerto Ricoooo

2005-09-28 12:32:10 PM  
The mayor insists his goal is to attract tourists to his small town.

[image from too old to be available]
2005-09-28 01:49:22 PM  
Well, to be fair, building a landing strip for spaceships that we have no idea of how big, what shape, or if they even exist, makes as much sense as making buildings to worship entities that we have no idea of how big, what shape, or if they even exist.

So, in that case, I say, a UFO landing strip on every corner!
2005-09-28 03:07:59 PM  
I don't like alien landing strips. I prefer them grey and shaved.
2005-09-28 04:31:47 PM  
Aliens are scared of Chupacabres, they'll never land there.
2005-09-28 04:34:13 PM  
damn puerto ricans are crazy!
2005-09-28 04:34:51 PM  

what does the landing strip on that look like?
2005-09-28 04:34:59 PM  
They should also build a Dennys next door, because the aliens have been traveling for some time and will have obviously worked up quite an appetite.

"And for you, sir?"
"I'm an alien. We're hemaphrodites."
"I done heard Jamie Lee Curtis packs the heat too!"
"Uh yeah whatever, I'll take the Moons over My Hammy."

/end scene
2005-09-28 04:36:09 PM  
Are these landing strips tested for STDS?
2005-09-28 04:37:00 PM  
They clearly have too much money. Make 'em pay a 30% US Fed tax like the rest of us Americans.
2005-09-28 04:37:05 PM  

Bravo. Great joke.
2005-09-28 04:37:08 PM  
Hey why not. People build churches.
2005-09-28 04:37:35 PM  
Well where would _you_ have them land???
2005-09-28 04:37:38 PM  
This is important. This means something.
2005-09-28 04:38:52 PM  
No food stamps please!
2005-09-28 04:39:20 PM  
You'd be surprised, many people in PR are interested in the subject.

I am.

Also, having the world's largest ground sattelite at the Arecibo Observatory, PR is probably the first place for alien contact.

Perhaps before Roswell and Area 51...

Who knows, maybe before Columbus, Tainos may have made contact.
2005-09-28 04:40:12 PM  
Just checking to see if anyone was biatching about the cliche in the headline... carry on.
2005-09-28 04:40:19 PM  
Hey kid. I'm a computer. Stop all the downloading.
2005-09-28 04:41:05 PM  
But yeah, basstovin, "the chupacabra" is in SOUTH AMERICA, not Puerto Rico.

But nice try anyways.
2005-09-28 04:42:34 PM  
I tried to get one put in near my house in jersey. My neighbors didn't like spray paint on thier lawn. I'm with dletter "One on every corner"
2005-09-28 04:42:51 PM  
Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big
underground homosexual population - Lajas, Puerto Rico, perfect example.
Look at the soil around Lajas, Stuart. You can't build on it, you
can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers.
They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay
Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here
in the trailer park.
2005-09-28 04:43:20 PM  
Muta, please don't start a flame war just yet!

We need to make sure the aliens are listening to the idiotic banter of a flame war first...
2005-09-28 04:45:50 PM  
Look at the soil around Des Moines!
You can't build on it.
You can't grow anything in it.
The government say it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart!
I know it's the queers!
They're in it with the aliens!
They're building landing strips for GAY MARTIANS!
You know what , Stuart?
I like you.
You're not like the other people.
Here in the trailer park.

"Stuart" by The Dead Milkmen
2005-09-28 04:46:05 PM  
2005-09-28 04:11:14 PM Just Ignorant: Dammit, I was going to submit that story but I figured it would never get green-lit.

/back to submitting UFO stories

Congrats on the greenlight, Just Ignorant

2005-09-28 04:49:54 PM  
"If we have the technology to reach the moon, there could be others who have the technology to come here," said Ronaldo Barea, 26, a sandwich shop owner

*Still laughing........*

/Keeps laughing
/Wonders if Ricans know about light years......
2005-09-28 04:50:38 PM  
Nutsac_Jim: What does the landing strip on that look like?

Don't do a GIS if you're at work.
2005-09-28 04:52:38 PM  
Chester's Thing... ON RUTH!

/guacamole queen
/guacamole queen
/guacamole queen
2005-09-28 04:57:06 PM  
Don't like landing strips.
It's okay to shave around the edges, to keep it under control.
But give me a nice, natural-looking bush, or take it completely off.
No landing strips, please.
2005-09-28 04:57:39 PM  
Why would you need a strip? I thought they came straight down. All the ones I've seen did.
2005-09-28 05:04:49 PM  
My headline was "Town in Puerto Rico announces plans to build UFO landing strip; In completely unrelated news, Reynolds Corp. announces construction of facility nearby." Too subtle? Too late? Just stupid? Yeah.
2005-09-28 05:07:56 PM  
I want to believe!

/misses her daffy PR
2005-09-28 05:08:41 PM  
aren't UFOs supposed to be able to hover? and if so wouldn't you need more of a helipad (UFOpad)?
2005-09-28 05:10:54 PM  
Umm...U.S. Commonwealth, Not U.S. Territory. Thank you very much.

2005-09-28 05:32:09 PM  
i wanted to be first with the dead milkmen quote!
2005-09-28 05:34:22 PM  
This can only mean that Puerto Rico has signed a pact with alien forces. I'm sure if we sent a few interceptors out patrolling, we'd find an alien base in the area.
2005-09-28 05:34:22 PM  
Great idea to attract all manner of Americano UFO freaks to your area and spend mucho dollares.

And wouldn't be the historical knee-slapper of all time if a UFO finally landed ad we found out that they had been waiting for such a welcome for all these years?

2005-09-28 06:05:50 PM  
2005-09-28 06:10:18 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Honest it's for the UFO's...
2005-09-28 06:14:36 PM  
calculator13, everyone knows the true Center of the Universe is in Fremont.
2005-09-28 06:25:47 PM  
2005-09-28 06:28:27 PM  
It's things like this that sometimes makes me feel ashamed to live here...
2005-09-28 06:32:18 PM  
Here is a link to a cool alien pick. Perhaps some non-retard could post it.
2005-09-28 06:53:43 PM  
The only little green men that will be found there will be the ones that leave the wallets of the stupid American ufologists that come to visit. :-D


Umm...U.S. Commonwealth, Not U.S. Territory. Thank you very much."

Eh, nope. We are a US Territory. It is stated in our constitution. Puerto Rico's official name is "Commonwealth of Puerto Rico", hence the confusion. ;-)

2005-09-28 07:03:46 PM  
coquigamer, I have a friend that was born in Puerto Rico, and he said the chupacabra is there...

Since most UFO's seem to land vertically, why build a "landing strip" and not a landing "pad"?
2005-09-28 07:32:21 PM  
2005-09-28 07:34:52 PM  
First order of business when aliens arrive: Welcome aliens as the new sovereign.
2005-09-28 07:46:03 PM  
adolfojp: Eh, nope. We are a US Territory.

Actually our Official name is "Estado Libre Asociado De Puerto Rico"

But my point was that we are more a Commonwealth then a territory.

Actaully we are a Colony, more then a Commonwealth, but I do not want to politicize this thread.
2005-09-28 07:46:23 PM  
VERY poor use of the cliche.

Shame on you, submitter
2005-09-28 07:47:07 PM  
Don't believe in aliens myself, but I believe people who believe in aliens.
2005-09-28 07:51:54 PM  
Okay, the location is good, with Arecebo nearby. We need to do this right. Vis:

Beacons from VLF through gamma rays, say, a signal every octave.

Landing lights in all colors from far infrared to far ultraviolet

A hotel with every conceivable environment and cuisine (I wonder if the bar in Star Wars had one drink per species. Luke just had to nod at the bartender.)

Something to indicate that THIS is the one and only spot on the planet to land, I suggest huge lit arrows all over the planet. Again, in all colors. maybe one on the moon; it is tide-locked after all.

A gravity wave beacon at ground zero

Lead walls surrounding the site in case the alien drive spills ionizing radiation.

Advertising. Send out multiple space missions to send beacons to the thousand nearest star systems wuth directions to us. Have a "welcome aliens" channel on BC television,

Plant nukes under it in case they turn nasty. (They could be as gentle as puppies and we could still say something to piss them off.)

and most of all:

FAA rules for aircraft safety and manifest suspended for any alien spacecraft.

I mean, we have to let them know this is not just a welcome from some random nut job, right?

Or would all of this make us look desperate? Dateless nerd species
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