If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Detroit Free Press)   47% of Detroit can't read and Starbucks wants to help.   ( freep.com) divider line
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

6616 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2002 at 3:04 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

87 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-04-24 10:58:55 AM  
That's right, let's teach them how to read "double mocha latte" off the Starbucks menu.

So the nation's second-richest county has an illiteracy rate of 10%? Must be the domestic servants.
2002-04-24 12:45:04 PM  
what does this article say?

(that's cause I'm from Detroit and can't read...hahahahaha...it's funny!)
2002-04-24 03:07:21 PM  
47% Dear god, is school optional there? I'm from South Dakota, and if you can't read by the 5th grade they keep you back...yeesh.
2002-04-24 03:07:56 PM  
oh, i don't know, they seem to know two words:


bwa ha ha ha ha
2002-04-24 03:07:56 PM  
So much for government schools.
2002-04-24 03:08:28 PM  
2002-04-24 03:09:11 PM  
I seriously want to know what the hell is wrong with Detroit... it seems like she shiathole of America.

Of course, the Insane Clown Posse is a farking awesome exception.
2002-04-24 03:09:36 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2002-04-24 03:10:07 PM  
ICP Sucks....and they can't read
2002-04-24 03:10:25 PM  
866-310-READ (7323)- A subtle insult.
2002-04-24 03:10:43 PM  
HAHA ICP? They are cool if you are a degenerate 15 year old.
2002-04-24 03:11:01 PM  
With the Tigers and Lions as their main sports stories, they probably don't want to read...
2002-04-24 03:11:16 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
tag would have been a better choice here.
2002-04-24 03:12:36 PM  
First thing they need to be taught to read are the words to the National Canadian Anthem, "O Canada". Second thing they need to read are the signs that say "Now leaving Detroit".

Detroit hasn't been the same since Axel Foley went to Beverly Hills.
2002-04-24 03:13:39 PM  
They're too busy burning down houses in Detriot to read.
2002-04-24 03:14:49 PM  
I kan reed I jussed kant spale.
2002-04-24 03:15:42 PM  
Perhaps this whole Starbucks thing has something to do with this news story at the Onion:

Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation
2002-04-24 03:17:30 PM  
In other news, Canadians understand why the Detroit Pistons fans booed our anthem, they are DUMB.
2002-04-24 03:18:11 PM  
With the Tigers and Lions as their main sports stories, they probably don't want to read...

The Red Wings and Pistons are the main sports stories.
2002-04-24 03:19:00 PM  
so detroit is a bit like scotland!
2002-04-24 03:19:06 PM  
Anybody notice that the toll free number to call had a word contained in it. Pretty ironic. I know that they put the numbers afterward, but that's still pretty funny.
2002-04-24 03:19:47 PM  
If you think illiteracy isn't important, just think about the children who leave school...."

Somebody actually used the "think about the children" cliché in an article.
2002-04-24 03:20:46 PM  
GOD DAMN IT!! I'm losing more energy trying to defend Detroit...And I have to contend against Kid Rock, Eminem, 2-14 Lions, Sucky Ass Tigers, and illiteracy.....i'm about ready to give up! \m/ Roxor Out
2002-04-24 03:20:48 PM  
Can't wait to see this tinderbox of a discussion go up in flames.
2002-04-24 03:20:53 PM  
I live in Northern Michigan and I would have to say the percentage in the small town I live in is alot higher than that. I met a 56 yr old man that could not read or write. I asked him how the hell can you go through life for 56 years and not be able to read or write. He said "I wing it".
2002-04-24 03:21:59 PM  
Yeah, I need help...I should dial that number...here I go...1..8..66..3..1.0...ummm...
2002-04-24 03:22:15 PM  
"Eminem buys every copy of "The Face" magazine and destroys them"

isnt Eminem from Detriot? it would explain alot
2002-04-24 03:22:29 PM  
if there were boring ass articles like that in the paper all the time, i wouldn't want to know how to read either..
2002-04-24 03:23:50 PM  

or should I cry?
2002-04-24 03:24:03 PM  
the literacy rate makes me sick. 47%?????

read to your kids.
2002-04-24 03:24:28 PM  
Why not just burn Detroit to ground and start over?
2002-04-24 03:24:32 PM  
Why not just burn Detroit to the ground and start over?
2002-04-24 03:25:18 PM  
Ha, gotta be faster on the stop button.
2002-04-24 03:26:12 PM  
Hagbard: Nah, stop defending Detroit, man, move out to Ann Arbor. We have the Hash Bash... um, had... well, we still have the Naked Mile... um...

Aw, fark it.
2002-04-24 03:27:52 PM  
Philo Tried that in the 60's. Didn't work. They didn't fix the burnt stuff either. It's still there and still looks like a shizithole.
2002-04-24 03:30:36 PM  
An annual rite of passage for most Canadias is heading south to Florida for a warm vacation. The worst part of the trip is the 20 minutes we spend avoiding sure death, with the 'pot holes' all over I-75. It's ridiculous! Now imagine, us Canucks from our pristine land, looking out our window at the various 'ghettos' of Detroit. "Daddy, can we stop for some food??." :P
2002-04-24 03:31:04 PM  
[image from fserv.citadelradio.com too old to be available]

I case anyone is interested this chick (Candy) won the "Cans for Cancun" Wet T-shirt contest. I tried to post the results but Fark said it had already been posted.
2002-04-24 03:35:59 PM  
I hope the 53% that can read read the story to the 47%.

On a side note, our Super Wal-Mart has large words on the building like "bakery", "nursery", "vision center". I always wonder why the vision center words aren't twice as big as the others.
2002-04-24 03:36:36 PM  
I hope the 53% that are literate read the story to the 47%.

On a side note, our Super Wal-Mart has large words on the building like "bakery", "nursery", "vision center". I always wonder why the vision center words aren't twice as big as the others.
2002-04-24 03:50:38 PM  
Starbucks purchases the "toss salad man"
2002-04-24 03:56:30 PM  
One day when I was serving my sentence of living in Detroilet, I decided to skip the I-75 Disco Deathrace 2000, and took Woodward into downtown. Passing the rows upon rows of businesses with the bars up on their windows (in broad daylight), I passed a grocer with a bright dayglo sign in their window that said:

Cigarettes: 2.75 a pack
Genetics: 2.25 a pack

When I inquired to a few of the locals about the sign, they said "Yeah, I seen that."

I guess when you have to kick the crack vials and empty 40's out of the way, it takes longer to get to school.
2002-04-24 03:56:37 PM  
Can't wait to see the Starbucks menu in ebonics.
2002-04-24 03:56:50 PM  
Yes! BlackWolf that's awesome. Candy is hot. All you other farkers that liked that pale 12 year old can blow me.
2002-04-24 04:01:24 PM  
burn Detroit and Philly. Start over.
2002-04-24 04:01:59 PM  
"The CIA thinks he can infiltrate The Mountain of Dr. Klahn?"

"You can't scare me, you slant-eyed yellow bastard!"

"Take him to Detroit."

"No! Not Detroit! No! No Please! Anything but that!"
2002-04-24 04:27:19 PM  
Doesn't bother me, I live in Oakland county. I stay away from Detroit at all costs. Yes, I am being a smarmy suburban SUV driving biatch. Come get me, unwashed illiterate scrapers! Oh, that's right! They can't read this anyway....
2002-04-24 04:29:19 PM  
Hey, if Bush Jr. can go through life without reading, why can't the folks in Detroit?
2002-04-24 04:29:40 PM  
"Robocop says reading is fun!" campaign planned.
2002-04-24 04:32:32 PM  
Well I hate to say it, but Detroit (real Detroit, not Metro) is 95% black and very poor. These numbers don't suprise me at all.
2002-04-24 04:35:06 PM  
I thought NC was bad!
Displayed 50 of 87 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.