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(ABC News)   Lesser known scholarships, including a $500 grant from the Klingon Language Institute for demonstrating a desire to go into language studies and creativity   ( abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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6149 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Aug 2005 at 12:58 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments     (+0 »)
2005-08-31 07:26:43 AM  
[image from wasteoftechnology.com too old to be available]

2005-08-31 07:45:00 AM  
This will be required reading/viewing for the class:
[image from cdaccess.com too old to be available]

/Learn or Die!
2005-08-31 08:12:26 AM  
My friend and I used to speak pidgin Klingon at each other thanks to the official dictionary.

/Qib nagil. Dah!
//probably spelled wrong
///obsessive enough to care
2005-08-31 11:52:59 AM  
what did the Onion (when it was good) say... Klingon speakers now outnumber Navajo speakers
2005-08-31 01:04:59 PM  
they drudge up this same story ever farking year. it's been at *least* 15 years since this was news.
2005-08-31 01:05:09 PM  
[image from news.bbc.co.uk too old to be available]
How about Jabbanese? "Baba Dabba datoo Solo?"
2005-08-31 01:07:27 PM  
It's kinda cool that fake language speakers still promote and support real multi-lingualism.

Kinda like if Creationists would throw some money to evolutionary research.

//didn't RTFA
2005-08-31 01:08:07 PM  
"Whats the Klingon word for lonliness?"

[image from us.ent4.yimg.com too old to be available]
2005-08-31 01:08:20 PM  

Actually, it's called Huttese. All of his kind speak it. :P
2005-08-31 01:08:46 PM  
These small scholarships were all I had to work with when I was going to school. Now I'm up to my nose in debt. What good does $500 even do? It won't even cover 2 months of interest.
2005-08-31 01:10:29 PM  
Let's just chalk this up under the newly-coined term "douchefaggotry" and move on.
2005-08-31 01:17:22 PM  
"Baba Dabba datoo Solo?"

"Durka durka Allah Jihad?"
2005-08-31 01:21:12 PM  
Wow, my last name made it on Fark. Yes, I am a Zolp.
2005-08-31 01:22:54 PM  
Oddly enough I know a little Klingon too.
2005-08-31 01:25:39 PM  
the New England chapter of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance offers $500 in college tuition. Applicants must respond in writing to questions about his or her attitude toward fat people and size acceptance.

How gross. Now laziness and gluttony are praised as "diversity"?

Fat people are and will always be disgusting. Lose some weight, you pigs. There's something called "conservation of mass/energy" in physics. If you don't eat, you won't get so damn fat.
2005-08-31 01:29:40 PM  
autoharp: If you don't eat, you won't get so damn fat.

Some people are just big boned!!$

/haha riiiiight.
//sounds like you had a nasty experience with a fat person.
///my sincere sympathy.
////four slashes means i'm really cool.
2005-08-31 01:30:45 PM  
You know there's gonna be some fat guy whose left-handed, smokes pot, and goes to star trek conventions that will get a free ride.
2005-08-31 01:30:56 PM  
What do the S. S. Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

2005-08-31 01:31:03 PM  
I can't believe they talked about my scholarship! (8p)
"the University of California at Berkeley offered a $3,000 annual award to any Jewish orphan interested in a career in aeronautical sciences."
2005-08-31 01:33:44 PM  
hotshott41187: some fat guy whose left-handed, smokes pot, and goes to star trek conventions

You just described *everyone* that goes to Star Trek conventions.
2005-08-31 01:36:13 PM  
I'm a left-handed, Klingon speaker named Zolp! Woo-hoo!
I'm going to Kawlege, errrrr college!
2005-08-31 01:37:41 PM  
[image from a.abcnews.com too old to be available]
That girl is too cute to be that nerdy...
2005-08-31 01:38:52 PM  
Check out your local Community Foundation, they probably offer a wide range of scholarships. Most scholarship funds are started with a small gift that grows over the years. The Norfolk Foundation which is my one of the local community foundations in my area was given their first scholarship gift in 1951 by Florence L. Smith. She was the daughter of a doctor and had no children to leave her money to so when she died she left it to The Norfolk Foundation for aspiring doctors who are going to go to med school in VA. Since then it has helped 650 doctors make it through med school. Most of The Norfolk Foundation's scholarships as well as many other community foundation's scholarships are renewable, meaning you get them for 4 years every year.
2005-08-31 01:39:11 PM  
reillan: That girl is too cute to be that nerdy...

2005-08-31 01:40:08 PM  
I have a $500 video production scholarship for freshman girls.
You have to sign a release waver first.

/one ticket please
2005-08-31 01:44:36 PM  
Yes, this is real.

[image from public-files.pcloadletterwtf.com too old to be available]

Texas goes down on September 10th!
2005-08-31 01:45:05 PM  

May be off topic but I clicked that link. Man those are some funny/sad/disgusting quotes. I hope its someone's idea of a sick joke.
2005-08-31 01:54:35 PM  
All the Klingon I'll ever need to know I learned watching Garden State.
2005-08-31 01:55:00 PM  
But the Klingon Language Institute must be better than Duke, right? Because Duke sucks!

[Waits for apparent inevitable laughter whenever that stupid and annoyingly lame cliche is recycled yet again on Fark.]

Ha! I am teh funny!
2005-08-31 02:00:52 PM  
The Goodie-Goodie Scholarship To qualify, a female student at Pennsylvania's Bucknell University must not drink, smoke, chew tobacco, take drugs or participate in "strenuous athletic contests."

Farking the entire football team, no problem.
2005-08-31 02:13:45 PM  
MWB said: "These small scholarships were all I had to work with when I was going to school. Now I'm up to my nose in debt. What good does $500 even do? It won't even cover 2 months of interest."

here is a brief list of college majors people should generally avoid UNLESS they are trust fund babies (learned this the hard way like you):

most "liberal arts" majors, this includes but is not limited to:
political science
creative writing
most types of literature
foreign language study (although languages of one of our current "enemies" and sometimes spanish can prove useful)
any kind of _______ studies (women, religious, native american, etc.)
and most "ologies" such as:

and let's not forget, my personal fav:
fine arts
2005-08-31 02:42:10 PM  

Hate to nitpick, but philosophy isn't technically an "ology". Your point still stands, however.

/biology major
//not a trust fund baby
///oh well...
2005-08-31 02:49:13 PM  
Get a job.. just think of the potential money there...
Just imagine this scenario

$7/hr * 25 hours per week (avg) = $175 - 12% taxes = $154

$154 * 52 = $8,008 + Tuition Tax Breaks = ~$9,000

Wow, wasn't that impressive.
2005-08-31 02:50:43 PM  
MWB see above post.
2005-08-31 03:13:57 PM  
togablanket: yeah...i realized that, but i was in a hurry. revised it should state "osophy" or "ology"
2005-08-31 03:17:07 PM  
Dochvetlh vlSoplaHbe'!
2005-08-31 03:28:36 PM  
actually, unless what you're going to school for something that will directly benefit a large corporation, the government, or is health care related...don't expect any large sums of money to be thrown your way (in school or out). (and by "benefit" i mean make them lots and lots of money)
2005-08-31 05:32:32 PM  
You forgot about Physics*

*unless you are absolutely amazingly ridiculously brilliant
/learned this the hard way
2005-08-31 10:37:12 PM  
Why would anybody go to the "Klingon Language Institute"?

Trust me, MIT works much better on the resume.
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