Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Newsday)   Confusion at auto sale as auctioneer confused by sudden rash of bidding actually turns out to be people fleeing from SUV   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

16099 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2005 at 9:14 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

52 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-07-24 08:09:21 AM  
2005-07-24 08:24:36 AM  
Norad: ..confused

Some geezer selling autos at an auction ran drove one of the autos into the crowd.

We really need a Long Island tag.

This place gets more Florida-like by the day.
2005-07-24 08:26:47 AM  
Excuse me, sir, the farmer's market is across the street.
2005-07-24 09:02:19 AM  
It was not known what caused the driver, Louis Amelia, *78*, of Moriches, to lose control of the Navigator (emphasis added)

Um, I think we all know what happened. He thought it was a farmer's market.
2005-07-24 09:03:45 AM  
And maybe I should read the three farking posts ahead of mine before blindly farking.

/where's my coffee dammit
//FFMDTA (Future Farmer's Market Drive Thru Attendant)
2005-07-24 09:13:51 AM  
Submitter fined for not using "farmers market" in the headline. BAD SUBMITTER! No pony for you.
2005-07-24 09:18:16 AM  
*cue flamewar about renewing drivers licenses annually for old farts in 10...*

Seriously, though. Come on, people. What does it take? It's a test, not a hazing.
2005-07-24 09:24:52 AM  
I've seen two or three bad accidents at auctions. The people that they hire to drive the cars through the lanes are not the brightest of folks.

Try and not walk between cars.

Now, bring on the flames about how everyone injured was just a car salesman anyway and deserved what they got.
2005-07-24 09:31:10 AM  
Confused on how this got greenlit, perhaps only for the excruciatingly poor wording of the headline. Is the best we can do, as farkers?
2005-07-24 09:39:02 AM  
everyone injured was just a car salesman anyway and deserved what they got.
2005-07-24 09:39:14 AM  
This country needs two things concerning driving privileges..

1.Graduated licenses for the young and inexperienced(16-21)
2.Regular retesting of the elderly.. (60+)
2005-07-24 09:47:47 AM  
Seriously, the headline blows.
2005-07-24 09:49:57 AM  

Thanks. I didn't think this thread would be complete without that.

/car salesman
// cars I sell:

///not spamming the board.
2005-07-24 09:52:55 AM  
So, the auctioneer actually turned out to be people fleeing from an SUV?

/scratching head....
2005-07-24 09:55:54 AM  
WTF is that headline. My head aslpode.
2005-07-24 09:56:34 AM  
Thanks. I didn't think this thread would be complete without that.

Was just doing what the man asked, ;)
2005-07-24 09:57:00 AM  
Uh... how fast was this guy driving? He might be old and all, but he's driving a vehicle in an auction. It would take real effort to cause all the damage he did, and I doubt you could damage six cars (or whatever it was), injure twenty people, and do a large amount of structural damage to a car dealership at 5 miles per hour.
2005-07-24 09:58:32 AM  
Man that is one horrible headline and not even a farmer's market reference.

We had a bill here that would require road test for drivers over 65 when renewing licenses. They biatched like crazy to get it killed, meanwhile they keep getting into accidents and killing people. Hey old people, if you can't pass a road test GET OFF THE FRIGGING ROAD!
2005-07-24 10:00:41 AM  
Monologue Jack

The lanes leading up to the auction block can be 1/8 of a mile long, or longer.

They were at an auction, not a dealership.
2005-07-24 10:03:08 AM  
We had this happen at the auction I work for a few years back. We figure the guy panicked and hit the gas instead of the brake, as they're actually crawling at a few MPH while entering the building.

Unfortunately, getting people to drive the cars through the lane sometimes requires scraping the bottom of the barrel (so to speak). We have over 6000 cars to move through 18 auction lanes in 6 hours or so. Finding enough drivers to do it can be difficult at times...
2005-07-24 10:17:19 AM  
Actually, the person who sold me the car I wound up buying was kinda cool -- out of the previous ten or so I talked to, only five were real tools -- the first one was a hoot:

Salesman: "Hey there, got your eye on anything?"

Me: "Nothing in particular yet, but something sporty, either a two-door or a hatchback."

Salesman: "Ok, I know the perfect car for ya! Whaddya think of this one?"

Me: "Ummm, it's a Ford Explorer?"

Salesman: "Yeah, man, they're great cars!"
2005-07-24 10:24:39 AM  
At least 20 people were injured Friday morning when an out-of-control sport utility vehicle about to be auctioned off plowed into bystanders and cars in Yaphank, Suffolk police said.

Wasn't it the driver that was out of control and not the SUV? I wasn't aware that vehicles had a mind of thier own.
2005-07-24 10:27:09 AM  
The driver, 78 years old...
Well there you go. Thought it was a farmer's market.
2005-07-24 10:32:34 AM  
It was not known what caused the driver, Louis Amelia, 78, of Moriches, to lose control of the Navigator

I'll get you a hint about the cause. It begins with the number "7" and ends with "8".

He probably couldn't find a nearby farmer's market.
2005-07-24 10:36:30 AM  

In order to not appear age discriminatory, I would modify your suggestion but requiring all drivers to be periodically retested. Otherwise it would be a good policy.
2005-07-24 10:40:39 AM  
Monologue Jack:

Uh... how fast was this guy driving? He might be old and all, but he's driving a vehicle in an auction. It would take real effort to cause all the damage he did, and I doubt you could damage six cars (or whatever it was), injure twenty people, and do a large amount of structural damage to a car dealership at 5 miles per hour.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

A few years ago, we had some lady completely trash a car wash. Apparently, she forgot to put the car in neutral which triggered the safety shutdown. No biggie, right? Well, she then decided that it was a good idea to back out of the car wash. So she puts it in reverse but the car's still stuck on the conveyor belt.

At this point, she panics and just floors it, completely ripping out the scrubbers and mechanical components, until she hits the car behind her.

Then she figures that she's really in trouble. So she puts the car in back in gear and puts the pedal to the metal... and promptly hits a wall.
2005-07-24 10:53:22 AM  
Age discriminatory, hell. Old people are farking dangerous. They can't see, can't hear, and they have a disturbing fault for mistaking the accelerator for the brake. And then, when they've stomped on the accelerator and bumped the speed up to 50mph in a pedestrian zone, they have this strange fixation about not changing their mind, and thinking that the pedal next to the pedal that's making them go 50mph might be the brake.

Senior citizens with licenses are deadly. Especially so since they can afford large, high-horsepower vehicles that can't be stopped by anything less than a concrete abutment.
2005-07-24 10:58:01 AM  
All I have to add is that I have been run off the road twice avoiding old drivers who where about to run into me. Wost I have had from a young driver is my bummper getting tapped by a gal who slid on the ice in a parking lot.

1. Once one almost sent me into oncoming trafic (My car stopped on the dividing median with 2 wheels on the curb.) Old fart tried to make a right turn on red. No problem, it's legal in ND so long as you yield to anyone comming with the green light and turn into the right hand lane. Old fart (Wearing a hat no less) pulls out into the LEFT LANE right as I am passing the intersection. I swerve onto the median to avoid this idiot and stall my car on the median. Happy ending though, I manage to follow them and give them a nice earfull.

2. The other time the old fart ran a person into a light pole and I spun out avoiding them. Old fart tried to move to the left lane, never mind the fact that I was in that lane beside him. I brake to get out of the way and honk horn. Old fart (Now in the left lane where I was) craps his pants and brakes hard and swerves back into the right lane, right into the person who before hand was behind him. (They where following at a safe distance.) Old fart knocks poor ladys car onto the curb and into a light pole.
2005-07-24 11:05:58 AM  
And _that's_the_way_the_cookie_crumbles

Kind of like the old lady in my town that "Lost control of her car" backing out of her driveway. She went across the street and hit 3 cars and two houses, damaging the garage on one so badly that it had had to be torn down and the other needed major repairs to the foundation. Afterwards she was upset that she couldn't drive because nobody would insure her. I guess doing $80,000+ in damage cause you're an idiot will do that.

What happened to the moron in you're story?
2005-07-24 11:11:55 AM  
i agree, the old and the young suck at driving... but since moving from missouri to long island a year ago, i have noticed another trend entirely... EVERYONE HERE SUCKS AT DRIVING!!!!
i swear, people are looking for accidents... they think they can save two seconds here or there by creating life-or-death driving situations... usually it is some cocksucker in an SUV... but everyone has an SUV here... more room for those stupid farking magnetic ribbons...

i consider myself a pretty good driver... i could beat a cab in manhattan to a destination... but that doesn't mean i drive like that all the time... the fact that this was an old person isn't important, what is important is that long island is a very very shiatty part of the world which costs way too much. at least there is a beach...
2005-07-24 11:15:34 AM  
i once watched an old lady back her car out of a church parking lot, backing into a fan at a furniture store across the alley. she only hit it going about 2 mph. so she decided she should go tell them she hit the van, so she proceeded to do a U-Turn, so that she could park right behind the store. While she executed the U-Turn well, she hit the building pretty hard. We thought maybe she was having a heart attack or something. Turns out she had just had knee surgery and was driving with her left foot. Needless to say, i waited awhile before i left for lunch to avoid this idiotic old lady trying desperately to endanger everyone else on the road.

I think once you hit 55 you should have a drivers test every five years until 70, and every year after that, if you fail, they permanantly revoke your license.

Old people are more dangerous than any 16 year old with a drivers license.
2005-07-24 11:23:22 AM  
that FAN should read VAN
2005-07-24 11:34:51 AM  
Crosshair: What happened to the moron in you're story?

That's actually the best part. When the police showed up, they yanked her license "pending an investigation" and questioned her. I don't know if they actually ever prosecuted her but it was pretty obvious to everyone involved that she should not ever be driving again. Everyone except her, that is.

And when the DMV actually spelled it out for her, she had the balls to appeal the decision (her reasoning was that taking the bus was to dangerous or something). I moved shortly after that happened but I sure as hell hope that she lost the appeal.
2005-07-24 11:36:59 AM  
Lincoln Navigator, the most useless truck on the planet. Never have I seen one with dirt on it or a load in it but now I've seen one with dents. Dents recieved trying to mow down innocent people in accordance with it's true reason for existance in the first place. They'll probably lie about it being wrecked when it comes back to the auction block. The money is more important than the truth. Die Navigator! DIE! Old Jeeps rule.
2005-07-24 12:25:23 PM  
Hang on, I'm still trying to figure out how the auctioneer turned out to be fleeing people.

[image from too old to be available]
That's unpossible.
2005-07-24 12:31:57 PM  
I nominate the headline for the Tortured Prose Award.
2005-07-24 12:41:59 PM  

Old drivers are generally LOT worse than most younger types (or, at least those over 21 - those under tend to be as horrid, but they generally don't have the huge battering rams that grandpa buys). What's doubly annoying is that cops tend to frown on ticketing 'the nice old lady', even when she's an obvious danger to everything around her.

It's a known fact - most 'sudden acceleration' cases are the driver hitting the gas, not the brake. And they tend to happen to a disproportionate number of older drivers.

As for Ford dealers - good lord, go into one wanting a Mustang, 1st thing they'll show you is a motherfarking Exploder. Seriously, they try to push their SUVs on you like the corner druggie pushes crack.
2005-07-24 12:51:18 PM  
When I worked at a grocery store in Chicago, we had a grey hair mow down a person pretty bad.

She had her land yacht moored in the fire lane no less. There was a concrete post behind the behemoth. Well, someone made the mistake of walking behind this tribute to the American automotive industry. She put it into reverse, slammed on the gas, and promptly proceeded to remove said person's legs. The blood covered a good 20 square feet of the parking lot.

And, as usual, the grey hair said she confused the gas with the brake.

/keep an eye out for ghost Town Cars.
//saw a ghost Bronco once.
2005-07-24 12:52:43 PM  
Well, if we can't take away their cars, why not take away their gas pedals?

Seriously, sell old people cars with knobs for selecting a desired speed, that way they'll never mistake the gas for a break.

(I actualy did that once, quite a shock, but it only took me like 1/3 second to figure it out since I'm not OLD)
2005-07-24 01:22:09 PM  
The sooner we have automated machines driving instead of people the better. The vast majority of people do not have the capacity to reliably control a vehicle on the road. That is why roughly 120 people die on US roads daily.
2005-07-24 01:53:59 PM  
I've said it before and I'll say it again; people over 70 should be given a road test every 3 years or so. Like the cop said the first time I got pulled over (20 yrs. ago) "driving is a priviledge, not a right."

/left LI in 1993 and vowed never to return (as a resident).
//after 5 years in MI and 7 in Manhattan finally found a home in Austin.
2005-07-24 02:04:47 PM  

At least 20 people were injured Friday morning when an out-of-control sport utility vehicle about to be auctioned off plowed into bystanders and cars in Yaphank, Suffolk police said.

Wasn't it the driver that was out of control and not the SUV? I wasn't aware that vehicles had a mind of thier own.

Yeah, Newsday's my local paper and I thought the same thing when I read that. Most people on Long Island are retarded tools.
2005-07-24 02:21:53 PM  

This country needs two things concerning driving privileges..

You don't have to feel obligated to call it a privilege in order to propose restricting it. They may have felt that obligation in the 1960s when they made up the privilege thing, but it's not really necessary today.
2005-07-24 02:32:14 PM  
Confusion amongst Farkers as confused headline written by confused submitter confuses the confused. How confusing.
2005-07-24 02:53:30 PM  
What they failed to mention was that the 78 year old was Jakartan and had apparently gotten his penis gourd jammed on the accelerator pedal
2005-07-24 03:06:42 PM  
They never should have let that guy out of the Country Kitchen buffet....
2005-07-24 04:12:58 PM  
I love Austin, there are almost no OLD PEOPLE drving here. A bunch of assholes that like to merge at the last second, but I love it when people try to do that, because I do everything in my power to keep them from merging. I would even get in a wreck with them, since it would be their fault and plenty of witnesses to crucify them.

/drives an older car
//speeds like hell
///never been in a wreck
////professional driver---I think I was born for it
2005-07-24 05:09:25 PM  
That headline made my brain collapse like a house of cards.

At long last, Fark, have you no sense of headline decency?
2005-07-24 09:10:46 PM  
arcas ,

I could go for that as well, but I don't believe my suggestion could be viewed legally as age discrimination..

It is a well documented fact that the most dangerous drivers are the young and the elderly ... The age group in the center are , per capita , safer drivers..
2005-07-24 09:13:57 PM  
what the fark does a 78 year old need with a navigator anyway?
Displayed 50 of 52 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.