Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(John Barleycorn)   How to make authentic moonshine (with diagrams and photos)   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

27109 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2005 at 1:32 AM (17 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

135 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-07-17 5:31:03 PM  
Where is the "how to get someone to run you to the hospital" follow up for when you go blind and catch dead from imbibing bad homemade moonshine?
2005-07-17 6:09:25 PM  
That equipment is just a little dated.

We have electricity these days, for example.
2005-07-17 6:13:29 PM  
Lenny_da_Hog: That equipment is just a little dated.

Hey, if you want authentic, you can't use none of that fancy electronical stuff.
2005-07-17 7:20:22 PM  
Way too complicated. My ex-father-in-law taught me how to make the most potent applejack evar. First you need to live where it gets really cold at night (-20 -40). In the early fall collect apples off the ground and put into two wood barrels (55 gal size) Let the apples rot and ferment. You can mash them down in the barrels but don't have to. Pour the remaining two half barrels into one. By now it gets cold at night. In the morning break the ice off the top of the barrel and discard. Do this every morning until there is no more ice forming. Strain remaining liquid into empty barrel. You will end with about a quarter barrel of the most potent potable imaginable.

Actually I knew the man for 20 years and never knew that he drank until one day I saw him sober.
2005-07-18 1:36:45 AM  
In other moonshiner news, the new Dukes of Hazzard movie looks from the trailer as if it will suck.
2005-07-18 1:39:33 AM  
I just read that yesterday.
But if I hadn't, I would've kicked you in the nuts.

I know. It really sucks that you want to tell someone, but seriously, why spoil it for people who are taking their time?
2005-07-18 1:41:01 AM  

[image from too old to be available]
2005-07-18 1:41:30 AM  
theflyingdutchman--The key is not to brew bad 'shine.

I have a much easier method than this though.

"Uncle Paul, can you send up some more corn squeezin's?"

And by the miracle of modern transport, mason jars appear on my door step. Yes, it'll strip paint, and it makes a nice addition to gas in the winter, but given a little flavoring to cut it down a bit--like a little bourbon or rum--and you have a delightful kick in the ass for several folks.
2005-07-18 1:41:41 AM  
It stood up there on that mountainside like a huge, golden opal.
2005-07-18 1:42:38 AM  
Oh, boy...the BATF thugs will be all over this one. Beware, if you think street gangs are bad, the BATF has machine guns and badges.
2005-07-18 1:43:13 AM  
Crap. Thanks, dmCraz. I hadn't gotten around to getting the book this weekend.

More proof of John Gabriel's Greater Internet farkwad Theory.

2005-07-18 1:44:37 AM  
But were God's Little Lanterns twinkling on and off in the heavens?
2005-07-18 1:45:08 AM  
dmCraz: Someone had to do it eventually. Consider this hat tipped for your bravery.
2005-07-18 1:46:15 AM  
I had pretty much assumed that some moran would spoil the HP ending for me on Fark, so I'm not surprised or irritated.

Flashing back to seventh grade home room, when some retard shouted "Darth Vader dies!" on the day after ROTJ came out.

I guess it makes some people feel special and strong.

Like moonshine!
2005-07-18 1:46:56 AM  
lol don't worry about dmcraz, i finished the book and that is bs
2005-07-18 1:47:52 AM  
Sounds like a prescription for preserved livers.

/methyl alcohol metabolizes into formaldehyde in the liver
//makes you go blind too
///oh, wait, somebody already said that
2005-07-18 1:48:45 AM  
Tom Cruise converts Hermione to Scientology in the new Harry Potter.
2005-07-18 1:49:35 AM  
infectedcky: lol rly??? omg that is so gud i thot he had roined it 4 me!11

Two things you need to get on right away (although I am sure there are multiple more):

1) Learn some typing skills. It would help quite a bit.
2) Learn how to lie. Item 1 will help you with this significantly.
2005-07-18 1:50:30 AM  
Hey, if you want authentic, you can't use none of that fancy electronical stuff.
Had a friend... heh, yeah, a frienda mine, see...

Anyway, propane burners (like from turkey fryers), hot water tank elements... From what I hear, 3/4 of a trashcan full of mash yields around 4-1/2 gallons of 100 proof second-run rye. From what I hear. er, heard.

2005-07-18 1:51:13 AM  
I have to say this:

Coffee and Cigarettes (the movie) is the most boring pretentious bad acted piece of crap.

Twizzlers for everyone !
and a moonshine.
2005-07-18 1:52:06 AM  
i've been wanting to build one of these for a while. too bad i'm only 19 and still live at home. just means i have to find a friend that wants a still of his/her own. i don't think building one of this size would be feasable in this area, but a small one would be nice.
2005-07-18 1:52:21 AM  
I'll stick to making home brew beer.

I really don't think you can make hard liquor for cheaper than the cheap vodka or whiskey available at the supermarket.
2005-07-18 1:52:45 AM  
Should be titled, " How to make crap instead of real Moonshine"...
Go back to the 20's or 30's, and that is when this single distilled crap started..
Any moonshiner worth his salt at that time would slap you silly for even thinking this technique was acceptable..
This is the kind of shiat that makes you blind and brain damaged..

Real 'shine was distilled at least twice, often 3 times.. and you didn't use damn corn meal..
/too mad to continue..
// Why not just drink some cyanide laced kool-aid...
// Idiots..
2005-07-18 1:54:46 AM  

You too? I got done with my first batch around 5 weeks ago and it's starting to get good now...I need to start another batch. In fact, I'm drinking a pint of my EPA right now. What a great hobby!
2005-07-18 1:55:21 AM  
I've had some real moonshine before. Use sparingly. It tasted good but had somewhat of a burntish after taste. I poured a little but onto the pavement (at dusk) lit it and saw no fire what so ever. That was until I waved my hand over it. The hair on my hand singed.

If you get a chance, go for it. Be carefull, though.
2005-07-18 1:57:24 AM  
My Grandfather ran shine, and my Dad helped him run it. The diagram they showed is way too complicated for these days. Modern materials makes it so very much easier. I've thought about building a still with my Pop, as a sort of cool father-son thing to do. Trouble is neither one of us drinks...
2005-07-18 1:57:29 AM  
dmCraz reminds me of TT_TT_P
2005-07-18 1:58:05 AM  
Or, you could forget about all that DIY, and just drink Everclear....
2005-07-18 1:59:13 AM  
Just run your fermented mash through one of THESE

2005-07-18 2:00:17 AM  
Heh, my great-grandfather owned an apple orchard during the Prohibition years. I hear the press building made cider during the day, applejack by night.
2005-07-18 2:03:29 AM  
In other news, Chinese beer is safe to drink as its formaldehyde content is much lower than the ceiling set by the World Heath Organization (WHO), China's quality watchdog reported Friday.

2005-07-18 2:04:27 AM  
Modern version, if you're not concerned about historical authenticity.

/doesn't have one
//would rather spend the money on beer
2005-07-18 2:04:44 AM  

I am making moonshine!
2005-07-18 2:06:00 AM  
wait, can drinking store bought everclear make you go blind. and also i thought that drinking home made moonshine was bad because of the pieces of metal and other impurities in the stuff, not just becuase it is alcohol.
2005-07-18 2:08:56 AM  
In other news, moonshine can be made by running fermented guano through a hose entering dmCraz' left ear and exiting the right nostril.
2005-07-18 2:09:34 AM  
it'l make you blind drunk.

The deal with going blind is if somebody mixes WOOD alcohol in with it. A reputable moonshine is as safe as any other liquor.
2005-07-18 2:10:12 AM  
You are all going blind from the METHANOL that you are sure to ingest!!
There is always some ipurities in the alcohol, thats why moonshiners are crazy.

/blind for other reasons
2005-07-18 2:11:28 AM  
Does anybody have an easy way to make a couple of gallons of moonshine? 48 gallons is a bit much even for me.
2005-07-18 2:14:45 AM  
I don't think it makes you go blind. I love mixing everclear with lemonade, a shot will kick you right back, and just a fifth of that stuff lasts a month easily.
Unless you're having a Jungle Juice party or something =)

I'm gunna keep on doin' it, until I need glasses
2005-07-18 2:21:16 AM  
Even though I don't care about Harry potter, I was a bit surprsed, tiny bit annoyed, when the first words I heard on xbox Live tonight were "Snape kills Dumbledore!"

That said...

Here's a video of a guy who went to the release party, and screamed the spoiler to the people in attendance.. The last girl is especially sad/funny...
2005-07-18 2:21:24 AM  
This was on my exam to graduate from high school in Tennessee.
2005-07-18 2:22:09 AM  
You can buy Everclear at most liqour stores, (The better ones have huge gallon jugs of it) Just make sure you get the 95% alcohol (190 proof) version, Of course some states have the 75.5% (151 proof) version for some legal reason.

The only real difference is the name. You're not making the stuff under the Shine of the Moon, but buying it legally.
You can buy it under the name "Grain Alcohol" and save a few pennies if you don't want the name brand.
2005-07-18 2:25:59 AM  
Forget the giant 1800's still... I want the 1950's style table-top model made from medical equipment like they used in MASH. :^)
2005-07-18 2:28:33 AM  
All you need to know is here
2005-07-18 2:30:24 AM  
All I used was a pressure cooker and some plastic tubing.
2005-07-18 2:31:50 AM  
Neato, I've always wanted to go blind.
2005-07-18 2:32:19 AM  
It isn't the alcohol that will make you blind, the first bits that come out of the distiller contains some really toxic compounds. If you're home distilling with a water distiller, they tell you discard the first few ounces. Also, that's another reason why they charcoal-filter grain alcohols, it helps remove some of the leftover toxins. Once you have some distilled alcohol, you can soak botanicals or dried fruits in it to make some interesting cordials. Or you can just buy everclear or some good Vodka and get pretty much the same results without breaking federal laws.
2005-07-18 2:37:09 AM  

Just run your fermented mash through one of THESE


uh, no. The boiling point of water is 100 C. With a distilled water machine all you get is a heavily water diluted batch of poison. The boiling point of ethanol is 78.3 C. To separate ethanol from water one heats the liquid to temperature higher than the boing point of ethanol but less than the boiling point of water. the closer to ethanol the better.

Now, if you don't want to kill yourself you have to recognize the mash contains other stuff as well, for example methanol and fusil oils. To separate the methanol you must know it comes off first -- at a boiling point of 64.5 C.

So follow this sequence, heat to above BP of methanol -- but not to that of ethanol. Remover the tops and redistill the bottoms. Repeat a couple times. The go above the bp of ethanol but below that of water -- keep the tops and discard the bottoms (get greedy and you will drink the fusils and go blind). Repeat.

Of course, unless you know what you are doing you can hurt yourself. Plus making drinking ethanol in the US is illegal so you must denature the ethanol so that it can only be used for legal purposes unless you want the revenuers to come for you.

/chemical engineer
// hillbilly kid too who grew up where people really did make moonshine
2005-07-18 2:40:43 AM  
I was thinking of trying out this method as a little summer project, anyone know anything about it? I was thinking about putting it in random bottles, writting "booze" on them in sharpie and then passing them out at parties. Heh.

In case the link gets sad on me:
2005-07-18 2:52:04 AM  
Ha Ha You want Moonshine!

Displayed 50 of 135 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.