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(New Straits Times)   Good at your job? Meet the man that can castrate a rooster in thirty seconds   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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7644 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2005 at 12:17 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

66 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-07-04 09:10:19 AM  
30 seconds? Why does it take so damn long?
2005-07-04 09:39:57 AM  
Neutering a rooster involves opening a small hole in the chicken and using a metal tool with a sharp blade to cut and remove the testicles.

2005-07-04 09:40:03 AM  
z_gringo: 30 seconds? Why does it take so damn long?

castrate := kill from bloodloss
2005-07-04 10:01:12 AM  
I would suspect that it is without any type of anethetic - and even from a female point of view, that is just ignorant.

Any of you ever eat a capon(castrated rooster)?
2005-07-04 10:26:27 AM  
And coming soon:
For your rooster that's been castrated, Roostercles. So he'll fit in with his non-castrated rooster buddies.
2005-07-04 10:32:22 AM  
no mentions of the high levels of 'roostregen' post op
2005-07-04 11:21:52 AM  
** crosses legs **

2005-07-04 11:34:07 AM  
Weird. Didn't know you could do that to a bird. Any pork or beef that you eat came from a castrated animal too (or a female).
2005-07-04 11:39:03 AM  
A Cock-a-doodle-don't?
2005-07-04 12:20:34 PM  
Isn't marriage 29 seconds faster?
2005-07-04 12:21:10 PM  
So he's a cock de-cocker?
2005-07-04 12:23:14 PM  
Presumably it takes 30 seconds because most birds keep all their tackle on the inside. So you must make an incision and root around for the nuts.
2005-07-04 12:23:39 PM  
2005-07-04 12:25:49 PM  
But will it still be able to crow three times?
2005-07-04 12:27:02 PM  
Meet the man that can castrate a rooster in thirty seconds


We've already met.
2005-07-04 12:27:57 PM  
His repeat customers usually call and fix further appointments.

Amazing that repeat customers would usually make further appointments.

I think the writer included this redundant sentence just to make a pun.
2005-07-04 12:28:05 PM  
Isn't marriage 29 seconds faster?

2005-07-04 12:28:23 PM  
You can see where the Colonel gets the popcorn chicken from now.

/Leghorn's not happy
//"I say, I say, you leaves them there..."
2005-07-04 12:30:38 PM  
I am good at my job. I clean up rooster testicles in under 5 seconds, flat!
2005-07-04 12:32:50 PM  
You don't want to get on his bad side.
2005-07-04 12:32:57 PM  
The 50-year-old picked up his skills in producing what the Chinese referred to as yim kai

And known to some in the west as ai yi yi.
2005-07-04 12:35:02 PM  
"Well, you know, it's really for the best. I mean, Eggbert used to hump my leg all the time, and when Clucky went into heat and just howled all night, it was unbearable! Sure, they've gained a little weight, but they're much less agressive now!"

[image from too old to be available]
"Run, Will Scarlett! Run!!!"
2005-07-04 12:36:59 PM  
Most, not all, meat from domesticated male farm animals is from castrated animals. Every once in a while you will get some bacon that stinks the whole kitchen up to high heaven. That's from an uncastrated pig.

Meat from bulls is generally used in processed meats. Meat from bulls can absorb enormous quantities of water, so it is valuable in processed meats lunch meats, wieners and bratwurst. Businesses like Oscar Meyer probably sell 1 pound of "meat" for every 12 ounces of meat they buy. The rest is water absorbed by the meat.
2005-07-04 12:37:08 PM  
Ugh. : crosses legs:
2005-07-04 12:37:13 PM  
I'm good at my job. I can milk a one hour job to stretch for 5 hours.

Only because it's slow at the church that I work at during the summer. When day school starts in fall,then it's multi-task city.
2005-07-04 12:44:42 PM  
Sexy-time explosion?
2005-07-04 12:47:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

i'll do it in five seconds...
2005-07-04 12:48:35 PM  
yim aye caramba!
2005-07-04 12:49:11 PM  
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!
Now I'm going to walk funny for the rest of the day.
2005-07-04 12:50:37 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-07-04 12:51:43 PM  
I wonder if he'd like to meet Paris Hilton.
2005-07-04 12:54:29 PM  
In high school (in Iowa) our Ag teacher repeatedly showed a hog castration video. It was hands down the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. It's shot on what looks like a Handi-Cam mounted on an inbred dude's shoulder. He's narrating the "operation" done by a teenaged boy and his father. The poor boar (just a few months old, by the looks of it) is held on his back, his legs spread and the poor little piggy sac is opened with a box cutter. A rusty box cutter. They pop the testes out, one at a time, like a whitehead getting burst, and snip the vas defrons and vascular system with what looks like tin snips. It's been 5 years since I've seen the video, and I can still hear, with that Arkansas drawl, "Git the ball bag, pa!"

//Damn you, Mr. Vrba!
2005-07-04 12:56:26 PM  
29 wasted seconds. The roosters you don't want should just be chucked into a woodchipper.
2005-07-04 12:57:07 PM  
Funny headline, submitter. Wierd article.

/golf clap
2005-07-04 12:59:03 PM  
Gross. I hope when an intelligent alien race discovers Earth, they treat us better than we treat the "dumb animals".

PETA alien: "It's wrong to put thousands of humans in tiny cages, shoot them up with growth hormones, castrate them without anasthetics, butcher them just because we can."

Red State alien: "Shut up hippie. These animals were put here for our use by lord Glaxon. Besides, they are so dumb they can't even understand the unified field theory. And they kill each other all of the time, so why should I worry about them."
2005-07-04 01:07:18 PM  
2005-07-04 01:15:37 PM  
I have seen the bull castration video, and it is similar to the hog castration vid. Imagine a drill with a clamp on it. Imagine the clamp holding onto a pair of balls(the fleshy fluid channel tethering it to the body) spinning and spinning and spinning around until it snaps off.

I still can't get that out of my head, and it has been several months since I have seen it. definite stileproject material.
2005-07-04 01:18:35 PM  
So THAT'S where potted meat comes from.
2005-07-04 01:23:02 PM  
Yeah, but can he take the brain of a fruitfly out in under a minute?
2005-07-04 01:28:47 PM  
I'd rather meet the man who is able to do it.

Feeling picky.
2005-07-04 01:33:39 PM  
Hiymenator, sorry the hog castration video was gross, but it's necessary for meat quality. Uncastrated pork has high levels of the disgusting-smelling chemicals skatole and androstenone, a condition called "boar taint". (Skatole gives shiat it's characteristic odor, and I know you don't want that in your bacon.)
2005-07-04 01:41:07 PM  
Pffft. I can choke a chicken in under 20 seconds.

Wait... is that something to be proud of?
2005-07-04 01:41:59 PM  
Yeah, but can he do it with his teeth?
2005-07-04 01:54:39 PM  
Those roosters had it coming, they are the filthiest animals on the planet. They eat with their peckers.

/old joke
/not sorry
2005-07-04 02:05:57 PM  
"boar taint"

I have a subscription to that magazine. It's pretty hot.
2005-07-04 02:10:42 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2005-07-04 02:11:18 PM  
...and he does it with cocksure hands.
2005-07-04 02:16:22 PM  
2005-07-04 02:30:05 PM  
Crown Of Negativity, that placeholder web site is probably based on speculation that a non-surgical solution to boar taint can be found.
2005-07-04 02:32:22 PM  
That's all well and fine,as long as they don't get cocky about it.
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