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(   Andersen employees get drunk while awaiting pink slips.   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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8647 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2002 at 1:26 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-04-09 12:42:25 PM  
I am just getting drunk...........oh crap I am late for work.
2002-04-09 01:29:23 PM  
. i laugh at others misfortune.

2002-04-09 01:30:37 PM  
If they were smart, they'd put their drinks on the corporate expense account.
2002-04-09 01:31:05 PM  
I can't say that I blame them.....In fact, getting drunk sounds like a good idea.
2002-04-09 01:31:19 PM  
Thats the way to go
2002-04-09 01:31:21 PM  
Andersen windows?
2002-04-09 01:32:09 PM  
Thats what they get for messing with Enron, bastards
2002-04-09 01:32:16 PM  
Frankee-Frank-Frank read the farking article!!!
2002-04-09 01:33:11 PM  
Wooo! Hey guys! Let's toss Bill in the shredder!
2002-04-09 01:33:28 PM  
"Please stand by for an important message. You have been fired. Do not bother coming in tomorrow. You will be shot on sight, loser. Thank you for your hard work at Arthur Andersen, now get lost."
End of messages.
2002-04-09 01:35:04 PM  
Talk about an inpersonal way of firing someone. Call your voicemail to find out if you should come in tomorrow? WTF?
2002-04-09 01:36:07 PM  
What's the world coming to when big firm accountants don't have absolute job security? Who's next? Lawyers??
2002-04-09 01:36:47 PM  
An employess stated..."I'm not going to knock Andersen," he said. "It was a business decision. What they did is what they had to do."
WHAT they had to do...laying off 7,000 workers because a few fat ass farkups at the top decided to approve a scheme to make themselves wealthy beyond any measure of understanding, while single-handedly destroying a company in the name of greed and deceit????? Great, take head Fortune 500, there's a plan to make even more wealthy and have their dedicated workers file for unemployment and wonder why they were even dedicated in the first place...

SLAYERSWINE: Organic White Widow...very tasty!
2002-04-09 01:37:21 PM  
Voicemail? What a farked up way to fire someone. Talk about spineless management.
2002-04-09 01:39:45 PM  
It could have been worse. They could have spam-fired everyone.
2002-04-09 01:40:54 PM  
The US Treasury should have seized control of the outgoing employees to help the Justice Dept. do forensic accounting in order to sink Enron, Anderson, and all the banks involved in falslely inflating profits.
2002-04-09 01:40:54 PM  
Maybe that is the root of the real problem.
2002-04-09 01:41:08 PM  
Whip out the corporate Andersen American Express and buy drinks for the bar all night until they close and then slide the card under the front door of the office before heading home to search for new employment.
2002-04-09 01:41:57 PM  
Call your viocemail to see if you should come in again? WTF? Brt
2002-04-09 01:42:56 PM  
Sleazy accountants (redundant?) will get hired lickety-split. No tears shed on their account...
2002-04-09 01:43:37 PM  
Anderson employee: Can I put that on my tab?

Bartender: No.

Anderson employee: Okay.

Poor bastards.
2002-04-09 01:43:49 PM  
I guess if they did thier job right this wouldn't have happened. Boo fukin hoo.
Next time you get hired to audit, then audit you lazy fuks. Guess what happens when other clients find out you do shabby work?
All your employees stand around getting drunk and calling thier voicemail to see if they should show up hung over the next morning.

I need some of that white widow.
2002-04-09 01:43:52 PM  
Now would be a good time to start scoping out the joint and see what you can rip off before you get pink slipped.
I've done that in the past.
2002-04-09 01:44:39 PM  
The company I work for had a "black friday" many months back, and if your phone rang at 10:30am, and many phones rang, many at the same time, and just in case you disconnected your phone in plee for mercy, then you were mass emailed. Everyone who got the "meeting" message had to meet up in the confrence room. Here we had like 75 people in a small confrence room being handed paperwork, being asked not to sue the company for wrongful discharge or they would recieve less severance (not that I heard any of that information from anyone who was fired.)

After the meeting all the ex-employees were carrying "togo" boxes, they had an hour to get, cops were called in "just in case". that day sucked.

endnote: there have been five days just like that since, but now they do it a little more personal.
2002-04-09 01:44:47 PM  
Say poignant. P-o-o-o-i-i-i-g-g-n-n-a-a-n-n-t. Poignant. 'Cause that's what that lil story was. Especially the part where the guy out in the rain found out he still had a job but stayed sad.
Drinking isn't gonna solve a goddam thing for any of them. When they wake up: same predicament plus a hangover. They should all be in church praying. Or volunteering at the soup kitchen.
2002-04-09 01:46:15 PM  
Why call voicemail? It would have been quicker and easier just to fire people by asking them to check e-mail and denying them access. Thus, they know they are fired and can't load viruses before the lonely retained IS guy shows-up.
2002-04-09 01:50:22 PM  
"Others were told in an e-mail to check their voice mail Monday night to learn if they should report to work Tuesday."

G-damn corporate farkers! Have the respect to lay off your employees face-to-face! I'm an accountant, and I know auditors work their a$$es off for their Big 5 bosses. For them not to get even the courtesy of a personal send-off after all their hard work is inhuman. Told in an email to check voice mail - they're staying two layers away from getting personally involved with their peoples! Grrrrr! *rant rant rant*

This kind of thing really pi$$es me off to no end.
2002-04-09 01:55:25 PM  
Voice Mail - "Thank you for your years of hard work. Now you can stay drunk all day, every day. Congratulations on our new winner. Drink a beer for me! Don't thank us. We know you would rather be at a bar working on your next wife than working anyway. After all, it's our job to know the low morals of men."
Anderson's going down faster than the women on the corner of Main St.
2002-04-09 01:58:09 PM  
Leaving voice messages obout returning to work or not should speak volumes about the professionalism of Anderson. Companies that were on the fence about wheather or not to look towards other firms may have made their decision based how Anderson handled this.
2002-04-09 01:58:58 PM  
Why not just send Vinny and Guido to "lay them off"? I also hear car bombs and death threats are pretty effective forms of firing someone too. And the real fun begins when they get really plastered. Anderson managers could then dress a fat man up as a women and use a little blackmail. Creativitty is so lacking these days......
2002-04-09 01:59:23 PM  
Is Playboy gonna do a spread on "The Drunken Women of Andersen Consulting"? Just wondering...
2002-04-09 02:00:59 PM  
I was going to rant on the same exact quote, BillDarryl.

When I got laid off, my boss called me in on Monday morning, gave me the news, and offered to help in any way he could. That night, we all went out and got drunk (those who did and those who didn't get laid off).

An e-mail to check voicemail? How farking impersonal can you get? Why don't you slip some ether under my door and castrate me at the same time? And they wonder why executives have a bad reputation....

This is not leadership.
2002-04-09 02:05:48 PM  
This was the way it was handled at Enron, as well. I'm sure Andersen asked their buddies "What's the best way to lay a bunch of people off?" and Enron said, "Well, here's how we did it."

Interestingly, even after we checked our voicemail at Enron to discover we were indeed let go, I still could access both my E-Mail and voicemail for a month afterward.
2002-04-09 02:07:54 PM  
I have a close friend that worked for Anderson up until a few weeks ago. She got out and got a job with one of the other Big 5 firms. Looks like she left right about the right time. It's going to be hard hunting a job as an accountant for a while. The real losers. Imagine the poor bastards graduating form college in a couple of months looking for accounting Jobs.
2002-04-09 02:09:26 PM  
Cappy: I'll bet that's cause they laid off the IT people! Seriously, I have had friends laid off and been in companies that "downsized", and have yet to hear of a layoff situation where management really thought it all the way through. I have friends whose IDs still work a year later.
2002-04-09 02:11:19 PM  
Dear Arthur Anderson Employee: You're fired. Please leave the Abacus on your desk.

[image from too old to be available]

2002-04-09 02:11:47 PM  
(sorry, pi$$ poor writing... "I have had friends laid off" implies I gave the order. Some friend I am.)
2002-04-09 02:11:49 PM  
My department all got laid off one afternoon. We all went right down to the Irish Pub. We had to work for another month or so until the end date, but spent several hours a week down at the pub. What are they gonna do, fire you?
2002-04-09 02:14:50 PM  
I was laid off from Andersen in Chicago back in July of last year. A cost cutting/reorg move. I, along with about 10 others with less than 1 year at the firm were called into an office with a manager who had been with the firm for 16 years. A guy read a prepared statement and said we had 3 hours to pack up and get out. Then an HR lady laid out our severance choices - I got a month after only 9 months service. Couldn't believe they did the manager the same as us peons!

I completely understood it as a business decision, but then about 3 months later while on a job interview, I picked up a copy of Crain's Chicago Business. There was an interview with the then CEO, Berardino. He was talking about the earlier layoffs and said they were done to increase per partner profits. I know it's basically the same thing as increasing earnings per share or other such phrases used by public corporations, but "per partner profits" is more real - like, "Hey, me and the other guys at this table needed to pay for our greens fees for this year so you and you and you, you're gone. Thanks."

I'm working now and deep down inside am giggling like a schoolgirl. Well, maybe not so deep.
2002-04-09 02:15:30 PM  
Since when did you have to get fired to enjoy getting plastered at the local bar? A few drinks, a couple fights, women in tight pants. Heck, I go to bars every chance I get. If I waited to get fired, I'd be on my 24,678th job.
2002-04-09 02:17:18 PM  
shiatty way to spread the news..

Homer: Good practice, kids. Now its time for the easiest part of any coach's job.
The cuts. Although I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a
lot of you. Wendell is cut. Rudy is cut. Janey, you're gone. Steven, I
like your hussle [Steven smiles]. Thats why it was so hard to cut you
[Steven's smile drops]. Congratulations, the rest of you made the team!
[random sighs of relief] Except you, you and you.
2002-04-09 02:19:14 PM  
I say it again: Let's unionize. Just because you have a college degree doesn't mean they should treat you like a biatch, when UAW workers (for instance) can't be fired without a damn good reason.
2002-04-09 02:20:51 PM  
WEll, as a former Andersen employee (check the IP address, mods, and verify if you want), I have this to share with everyone:

[image from too old to be available]

Also, a note: Most of the people that were let go last time didn't have kids. They let go of entire functions (Business Analysts, for example) this time around, but whenever a hard decision was made, it was the people without kids that suffered.

Just an observation.
2002-04-09 02:21:45 PM  
"It's a...Nice day for a...White Widow."

What the heck is a White Widow?
2002-04-09 02:26:28 PM  
BillDarryl: Yeah, the a$$sholes laid off 90% of the entire IT staff at Enron. It was one of the worst hit areas and definitely not well thought-out.
2002-04-09 02:27:00 PM  
White Widow is a marijuana variety, not a Billy Idol song.
2002-04-09 02:29:14 PM  
Corp Mofo: UAW workers (for instance) can't be fired without a damn good reason.

1) This goes a long way towards explaining the current crop of American automobiles and the numerous incidents and recalls involving them.

2) Sometimes, union employees can't even be fired with a damn good reason. (Like the teacher's union member who was still getting a salary while in jail.)

3) A union is just an effort to limit the workforce and increase wages/benefits for union members. Just like OPEC and oil. I have never seen a union that actually increased the performance of its members.

Love your website, agree with many of your ideas, but unions are not the answer.
2002-04-09 02:45:04 PM  
Earlier Monday, after weeks of speculation and dreaded anticipation, it had become official: The 89-year-old accounting firm was laying off 7,000 workers, or more than a quarter of its nationwide work force.


The firm employs about 5,300 people at its headquarters in downtown Chicago, where heavy layoffs are expected.

Last time I checked, you can't fire more people than you employ. GO ENRON!
2002-04-09 02:49:07 PM  

Apparently you didn't read the entire article, or it was incomplete.

I am one of 100 employees laid off from the Sarasota office, there are some laid off all over the country. There are 28,000 21,000 employees in the US, so that is a 25% reduction in force.

Otherwise, it would be funny. Or not.
2002-04-09 02:52:34 PM  
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