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(News-journal online)   Tampa police arrest naked carjacker   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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4637 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2002 at 9:12 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-04-02 09:13:44 AM  
He was being held in the Orient Road Jail early Thursday on $20,750 bail.

what 20K even wasnt enough?
2002-04-02 09:16:43 AM  
In some places, carjacking means something *completely* different.
2002-04-02 09:16:55 AM  
WTF! another ashtray being used as a weapon
2002-04-02 09:17:42 AM  
"Authorities said they don't know why Suita was naked."

Can you say angel dust?
2002-04-02 09:17:53 AM  
Not only was he smoking CRACK, he was showing CRACK!
2002-04-02 09:19:20 AM  
I ran around naked once. I bruised my knees and chest!

2002-04-02 09:20:12 AM  
I had some wise-ass comment about if you're nakkid, on the road, and you NEED a ride in mind, but the fella parked HIS own truck before getting out to flag somebody down? Like the Tootsie Pop ad said; "The World May Never Know."
2002-04-02 09:22:18 AM  
I would love to see the videotaped interview with this guy.

Detective: Soooooooo.....what's up?

Naked Guy: &^%&^%&^%$%$&^*&(&@@!!!!!!

Detective: I see. Well. Need a napkin for that drool?

Naked Guy: ^%^$##&^&^^&&^((@!
2002-04-02 09:25:07 AM  
At least the guy would have been hard to fend off (unless he was high on something anyway).

Dude : Gimme your car!

Me : No! *kick to the nuts*

Dude : Owwww ....
2002-04-02 09:25:31 AM  
~ Later, he was taken into custody at Trembling Hills Mental Institution. Upon seeing the suspect, Dr. Jamie Goldsmith said, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
2002-04-02 09:30:46 AM  
I feel sorry for the guy who got assaulted...

"Hi, honey how was your day?"
"Fine....until I got my ass kicked by a naked guy."
2002-04-02 09:31:04 AM  
Boy, hitchhiking etiquette's been hitting an all-time low lately.
2002-04-02 09:32:06 AM  
What is this crazy world of ours coming too.....

No Boobies posts today!:)
2002-04-02 09:38:13 AM  
WTF kinda bud are these farkers smokin' down dere?
2002-04-02 09:42:10 AM  
Boy, I hate when that happens.
2002-04-02 09:51:18 AM  
Note to self - Never, ever stop for a naked guy flagging cars down.
2002-04-02 09:52:47 AM  
Teabag: that was super
2002-04-02 09:52:54 AM  
Without a doubt, salvia divinorum.
2002-04-02 09:55:20 AM  
Who'd want the car back after something like this? I mean, febreeze can only do so much. I just couldn't drive a car with skid marks on the bucket seats?
2002-04-02 10:01:23 AM  
2002-04-02 10:07:41 AM  
Hey, I still stick to my story that they /gave/ me the car, because they told me I was in some serious need of overcompensation of some kind.
2002-04-02 10:30:50 AM  

and people wonder why I want to move to the other coast?
2002-04-02 10:33:38 AM  
When confronted by a naked carjacker, it is always wise to out-weird them:

NAKED THUG: "Gimme your car, fool!"

CONFIDENT DRIVER: "No, man. Hop on in, I'll drive ya. (LATCH!) Hey, I'm about to try something I saw in a cartoon once. Buckle up, biatch."
2002-04-02 10:36:59 AM  
I still say there should be a waiting period and background check before you can buy an ashtray
2002-04-02 10:37:09 AM  
I can see the "Co-ed Naked Carjacking" T-shirts already.
2002-04-02 10:40:47 AM  
Naked Thug: Gimme the car!

Valet: I need to see your ticket, not your stub...
2002-04-02 10:43:34 AM  
Another ashtray being used as a weapon?

Naah...he threw it through the soiled window of a run-down gas station in a bad neighborhood. That might count as civic improvement.

Besides, I do that all the time when they hand me the bathroom key chained to a cinder-block
2002-04-02 10:49:22 AM  
When deputies handcuffed him and put him in a patrol car, Suita kicked out a window, they said.

Authorities said they don't know why Suita was naked.

Obviously there was no place to hide the crack pipe he'd been a smokin
2002-04-02 10:51:12 AM  
Sometimes ninjas just flip out, and throw ash trays through windows...
2002-04-02 10:55:52 AM  
With the guy being naked at least the police could tell his religion right away.

Maybe the guy was just a theiving member of PETA . "Rather than steal trucks and throw concrete ashtrays while wearing fur, I'd rather wear nothing at all."
2002-04-02 11:04:24 AM  
Skidnuts: Different approach needed:
"Well, I finally got through you bathroom door, it took me a few tries. What's the key for?"
2002-04-02 11:09:20 AM  
technically, it was truckjacking. now, did he start out driving naked or it was sort of an along the way kind of thing?
2002-04-02 11:10:47 AM  
Carjacking is wrong, but I have to say that sometimes I don't like the clothes I am wearing. Every once in a while you gotta drop trou and air out the fellas (hopefully not in public though). Public nudity tends to become incarceration in many jurisdictions.
2002-04-02 12:02:19 PM  
Here's Suita's booking photo. Looks like they threw a robe on him:

[image from too old to be available]
2002-04-02 12:11:31 PM  
OK, buddy - Stick em up! Um... not ALL of them, please.
2002-04-02 12:30:17 PM  
Where were Tampa's many news helicopters? Overhead arial shot takes on a whole new meaning. Also, gives rise to jail nickname "Little Richard/Birthday Suita"
2002-04-02 03:55:26 PM  
Orient Road Jail - nice place.
2002-04-02 04:05:59 PM  
he must have escaped from the Nudist Colony for Spaced-out Truck Drivers... smoke angel dust and this is the kind of shiat you do...just say no to stupid drugs!! what the fark was he thinking?
2002-04-02 09:10:23 PM  
Okay... who among us understood one event that transpired in that freaky article?!

That was the weirdest sequence of events ever to occur on this planet. Why was he naked? (They don't know) Why did he steal the truck; Didn't he have one right next to him? Did he know Perez? Why would he travel a few hundred feet away from the scene of the car-jacking just to STOP the truck he stole and beat the crap out of the victim?!

That, and where the hell are MY pants! And what am I doing with this ashtray! I can't drive an 18-wheeler!!! AHHHH!!!
2002-04-03 05:11:22 PM  
Know why they didn't charge him with indecent exposure? Lack of evidence! hehehe
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