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(MIT)   Generate your very own scientific paper. Tenure has never been this close   ( pdos.lcs.mit.edu) divider line
    More: Cool  
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20128 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2005 at 11:00 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-04-12 09:01:29 PM  
As a computer science major, I am offended by this link. Moderators ought to take this website down, for it does no good pretending to generate research papers.

And in no way am I afraid this site server will be Farked, thereby rendering it useless to me and my procrastinating ways, because I'm just not like that.

Um ... I'm offended.

/Takes link, stuffs it in pocket, casually walks away whistling
 
2005-04-12 09:16:42 PM  
Jan Hendrik Schn told me about this like last year...

/obscure
//nerdy
///physics rules
 
2005-04-12 09:36:51 PM  
The code for SCIgen is released under GPL, and is currently available via anonymous CVS.

Schweet! #!/usr/bin/perl -w
 
2005-04-12 11:05:39 PM  
ben dover, jack meoff, amanda huginkiss Ph. D
 
2005-04-12 11:05:41 PM  
Apparently, I know how to dogfood methodology on my own desktop machine. Learn this and more in A Simulation of Telephony, coming to a journal near you.
 
2005-04-12 11:06:26 PM  
Talk nerdy to me.
 
2005-04-12 11:08:49 PM  
I'm SMRT smart
 
2005-04-12 11:09:21 PM  
I bet this is the type of site used by the same MIT nerds the RIAA is about to sue en mass tomorrrow morning for illegal downloading.
 
2005-04-12 11:10:39 PM  
"Our aim here is to maximize amusement, rather than coherence"


Simmer down nerds.
 
2005-04-12 11:10:40 PM  
Bueller........Bueller?


[image from firsttvdrama.com too old to be available]
 
2005-04-12 11:12:05 PM  
Their Page is asking for donations so they can fark with a fake science conference, please donate if you can afford it. they need the money by june or so and this seems like the kind of thing that we, as farkers, should wholeheartedly support.
 
2005-04-12 11:12:11 PM  
Page is farked in 3...2....1....
 
2005-04-12 11:14:03 PM  
Wow, reinforcement learning and the Turing machine offer a viable alternative to the deployment of 802.11b. Who'd have thought?
 
2005-04-12 11:15:33 PM  
did anyone else get a stiffy on thier hardware graph?
 
2005-04-12 11:17:12 PM  
Geez...I coulda used that site a couple years ago...
 
2005-04-12 11:18:38 PM  
Got to love the unintended irony of Ben Stein, a former college prof, playing a high school teacher. Someone who had a job people hype up playing someone with a job people dump on. Too bad college profs don't actually become high school teachers.
 
2005-04-12 11:19:11 PM  
This is Ignobel worthy.

/nerds nerd.
 
2005-04-12 11:19:16 PM  
While this is a nice resource, the papers generated will not likely match the groundbreaking genius of Sokal in his paper as published in Social Text:

Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity
 
2005-04-12 11:20:39 PM  
OMG THAT IS TEH AWESOME!!!@!1!!!!!11!!!!

If it could only write my first manuscript for me now...THAT would be a trick.

\Hates writing up materials and methods.
\\hates formatting figures even more.
 
2005-04-12 11:20:47 PM  
Heh heh! That was great. I'm a CS graduate myself. I've seen so many similar papers like the examples. I wonder if it has anything to do with a good portion of CS students *not* being natural born Americans. Or maybe it's because no sane person can grade a CS research paper accurately.
 
2005-04-12 11:21:34 PM  
nullportal - hey, I don't know about you but I read Sokal's paper and now I can fly.
 
2005-04-12 11:23:00 PM  
The joke of Sokal on a bunch of pretentious Marxists being that as a physics professor he submits a paper calling into question the desirability of the concept called objective reality, then proceeds to spout nonsense which none of the editors of Social Text ever ask to have clarified, pretty well indicating their level of academic rigor.
 
2005-04-12 11:23:47 PM  
As a graduate comp. sci. student who just got a hd failure, this is a god send.
 
2005-04-12 11:25:18 PM  
"Soviet cryptographers removed some 200GHz Athlon XPs from our extensible testbed to better understand our system."

Awesome.
 
2005-04-12 11:27:01 PM  
Sadly, this generates far more interesting papers than my thesis.
 
2005-04-12 11:29:48 PM  
muwahaha...this is awesome. the best part is that they actually got a paper accepted to one of the fake conferences that I get spam for all the time.

Too bad you can't specify random buzzwords to throw into your paper. Then I could actually relate the papers to my real research ;)

/wishes she were as cool as these guys
 
2005-04-12 11:29:59 PM  
Hilarious! I've got to support these guys. Registration for this meeting is 'WAY too expensive, though. Why don't they have a student registration fee that is lower, like every other decent professional meeting?
 
2005-04-12 11:30:31 PM  
And here is a post-modernism generator, to spice up your technobabble splooge with trendy deconstructionism.
 
2005-04-12 11:32:49 PM  
nullportal

academic rigor? You've never read an econ journal have you? Good luck finding any sort of rigor there. Or just check what people have gotten Nobel's in econ for. Makes random generated stuff look like the work of genius.
 
2005-04-12 11:41:22 PM  
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. As a CS guy, I could not help but keep chuckling away. I still have a big grin on my face, as I type this. Thanks, OP, for making my week!
 
2005-04-12 11:43:40 PM  
skinink:

I bet this is the type of site used by the same MIT nerds the RIAA is about to sue en mass tomorrrow morning for illegal downloading.

You haven't been paying attention. Where do you think the RIAA gets their 'research' reports.

By the way, my credentials are impeccable!

The Influence of Interactive Configurations on Cyberinformatics
William Gates, Yotta and Linus Torwald

Abstract
Many experts would agree that, had it not been for link-level acknowledgements, the analysis of the UNIVAC computer might never have occurred. After years of key research into operating systems, we disprove the development of DHTs, which embodies the practical principles of algorithms. We describe an algorithm for linear-time symmetries, which we call AphasicLoo.
 
2005-04-12 11:44:21 PM  
Hmm tie this in with the Hitachi thread...random shockwave paper generator, submit shockwave animations instead of papers...

Time to get busy with some C++ and assembly...
 
2005-04-12 11:45:40 PM  
Hmm. This could come in very handy for creationists, who have yet to produce a single scientific paper despite their claims of having "science" on their side.
 
2005-04-12 11:46:51 PM  
Hmmmm...seems to be a liberal use of the "cool" tag.


And no I don't know HTML.


Nerds.
 
2005-04-12 11:47:48 PM  
As someone who repeatedly gets email from these WMSCI jerk-offs, I welcome the grad students attempt to dupe them.

Unfortunately, if they were to make it there and deliver the talk I doubt that anyone in the audience would be smart enough to call bs on them. Anyone who pays money to attend a conference on 'Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics' isn't going to figure this one out. This ain't exactly a Gordon conference.

/refereed papers and reputable conferences please
 
2005-04-12 11:48:18 PM  
Dimensio

Considering the evolution related thread from a couple days ago went poof, you just had to go there didn't you? And not even the best random generator could help out creationists.
 
2005-04-12 11:48:24 PM  
[image from djmansion.250free.com too old to be available]
Brilliant!
 
2005-04-12 11:49:30 PM  
Yes, but how many of you got a "paper" that referenced a work of your own?

/geek
 
2005-04-12 11:59:31 PM  
Hairball_Barfer:
Yes, but how many of you got a "paper" that referenced a work of your own?


My sixth-grade son and I coauthored a paper on "The Synthesis of Scatter/Gather I/O", and while he and I agreed to reference another of our papers ("A Case for Evolutionary Processing"), that little rat bastard snuck *three* other papers of his into the references! That little creep has been moonlighting. Now I know why he's getting a F in social studies--he's wasting his time submitting crap to the Journal of Cacheable, Multimodal Epistemologies.
 
2005-04-13 12:11:27 AM  
I don't know which is better, making myself sound brilliant with a computer science paper auto-generator, or immediately going on the offensive against myself with an automatic complaint-letter generator:

As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen Dr. Unfreakable tear apart, I must find the common ground that enables others to foster mutual understanding. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. Prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially his conceited form of it -- is. Now, perhaps you think I'm imagining things. Perhaps you think that he really isn't going to reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. Well, I wish it were just my imagination. But you know, he is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that Dr. Unfreakable should be even slightly inconvenienced. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, we are now stuck with an uncontrollable materialism bearing a human face -- that of Unfreakable.
 
2005-04-13 12:13:54 AM  
VI. CONCLUSION
Here we motivated Rooter, an analysis of rasterization. We leave out a more thorough discussion due to resource constraints. Along these same lines, the characteristics of our heuristic, in relation to those of more little-known applications, are clearly more unfortunate. Next, our algorithm has set a precedent for Markov models, and we that expect theorists will harness Rooter for years to come. Clearly, our vision for the future of programming languages certainly includes our algorithm.

Clearly!
 
2005-04-13 12:14:41 AM  
Writing a scientific paper as we speak.... using adaptive cluster sampling to quantitatively assess the population of winged mapleleaf mussels....

hahahah what a great break for me

seriously... how sweet is this? Thrusting the moral issues aside, this is kick-@ss...

/back to paper..
 
2005-04-13 12:21:27 AM  
Oh it's computer science, nevermind thought that it might actually be able to write real science papers.
 
2005-04-13 12:21:51 AM  
I made a paper with this thing and I started to read it. It is damn funny everything contradicts itself.
 
2005-04-13 12:24:57 AM  
sadly these papers are still way more interesting than my thesis
 
2005-04-13 12:27:44 AM  
How does this thing generate papers? There isn't a single grammatical mistake....
 
2005-04-13 12:28:08 AM  
cargrrl82: academic rigor? You've never read an econ journal have you? Good luck finding any sort of rigor there. Or just check what people have gotten Nobel's in econ for. Makes random generated stuff look like the work of genius.

Ma'am, that was a pretty stupid and ignorant thing to say.
 
2005-04-13 12:30:43 AM  
Deconstructing Scatter/Gather I/O with YEX
Theodore Gnutson and Ester Frohnagel
Abstract
The analysis of gigabit switches is a key grand challenge. After years of theoretical research into neural networks, we disconfirm the refinement of public-private key pairs, which embodies the theoretical principles of networking. YEX, our new system for von Neumann machines, is the solution to all of these problems.
Table of Contents
1) Introduction
2) Related Work
3) Architecture
4) Implementation
5) Results

* 5.1) Hardware and Software Configuration
* 5.2) Experimental Results

6) Conclusion
1 Introduction

The study of simulated annealing is a significant quagmire. In fact, few cyberneticists would disagree with the understanding of telephony. Continuing with this rationale, however, a confusing challenge in cyberinformatics is the analysis of the analysis of massive multiplayer online role-playing games. The understanding of Smalltalk would profoundly degrade mobile modalities.

Another practical purpose in this area is the study of model checking. Existing relational and efficient algorithms use the construction of the Turing machine to cache mobile methodologies. The drawback of this type of method, however, is that the infamous embedded algorithm for the synthesis of Moore's Law by Albert Einstein [2] runs in W( n ) time. The usual methods for the study of cache coherence do not apply in this area. Indeed, e-business and von Neumann machines have a long history of cooperating in this manner. Although similar algorithms construct the exploration of systems, we fix this question without synthesizing wide-area networks. This result at first glance seems counterintuitive but is derived from known results.

In order to surmount this riddle, we verify that the infamous permutable algorithm for the visualization of RAID [14] is NP-complete. It should be noted that YEX manages pervasive information. But, the basic tenet of this approach is the exploration of superpages. It should be noted that we allow e-business to refine electronic symmetries without the development of erasure coding. As a result, we describe a method for knowledge-base modalities (YEX), which we use to confirm that multicast algorithms can be made multimodal, linear-time, and optimal.

Two properties make this solution distinct: our framework is copied from the principles of electrical engineering, and also YEX refines 802.11 mesh networks [11]. Despite the fact that conventional wisdom states that this challenge is always overcame by the study of write-ahead logging, we believe that a different solution is necessary. Along these same lines, two properties make this solution different: YEX is recursively enumerable, and also our algorithm creates flexible modalities, without managing active networks. YEX is recursively enumerable. Therefore, we see no reason not to use the development of Moore's Law to study the deployment of reinforcement learning. This follows from the development of RAID.

The rest of this paper is organized as follows. First, we motivate the need for replication. We place our work in context with the existing work in this area. To fix this riddle, we explore new cooperative archetypes (YEX), validating that the acclaimed pervasive algorithm for the construction of telephony by Dennis Ritchie et al. runs in Q(n) time. Along these same lines, to accomplish this ambition, we demonstrate not only that the Internet and the producer-consumer problem can agree to achieve this ambition, but that the same is true for web browsers. As a result, we conclude.

2 Related Work

Our algorithm builds on related work in cooperative epistemologies and cyberinformatics [10]. This work follows a long line of prior frameworks, all of which have failed. A litany of existing work supports our use of constant-time communication [1]. Similarly, our methodology is broadly related to work in the field of cryptography [1], but we view it from a new perspective: e-business. YEX is broadly related to work in the field of networking [9], but we view it from a new perspective: the construction of massive multiplayer online role-playing games [9]. Although this work was published before ours, we came up with the method first but could not publish it until now due to red tape. These methodologies typically require that the much-tauted trainable algorithm for the exploration of multicast heuristics by John McCarthy [15] is Turing complete [5], and we disproved in this position paper that this, indeed, is the case.

YEX builds on existing work in wearable information and electrical engineering. Similarly, we had our solution in mind before Wilson et al. published the recent foremost work on embedded theory. The choice of multi-processors in [13] differs from ours in that we refine only compelling communication in our application [3]. Finally, the approach of I. Daubechies is an unfortunate choice for the emulation of compilers [6].

3 Architecture

The properties of our methodology depend greatly on the assumptions inherent in our framework; in this section, we outline those assumptions. Despite the results by R. Agarwal, we can confirm that suffix trees can be made multimodal, symbiotic, and efficient. Our heuristic does not require such a structured provision to run correctly, but it doesn't hurt. See our existing technical report [2] for details.


dia0.png
Figure 1: A system for online algorithms.

Reality aside, we would like to synthesize a methodology for how YEX might behave in theory. Along these same lines, we assume that the investigation of RPCs can deploy redundancy without needing to create random models. YEX does not require such a typical analysis to run correctly, but it doesn't hurt. Consider the early methodology by Gupta and Moore; our model is similar, but will actually realize this aim [16].

We assume that the deployment of public-private key pairs can provide trainable configurations without needing to construct I/O automata. Consider the early framework by Rodney Brooks et al.; our design is similar, but will actually achieve this intent. This is a robust property of YEX. Figure 1 plots an architectural layout plotting the relationship between our methodology and the development of simulated annealing. This is a significant property of YEX. Continuing with this rationale, we show new compact archetypes in Figure 1. The question is, will YEX satisfy all of these assumptions? Absolutely.

4 Implementation

Our methodology is elegant; so, too, must be our implementation. Since YEX observes metamorphic symmetries, coding the codebase of 24 Python files was relatively straightforward. This is crucial to the success of our work. On a similar note, we have not yet implemented the virtual machine monitor, as this is the least significant component of YEX. experts have complete control over the hacked operating system, which of course is necessary so that cache coherence can be made multimodal, ubiquitous, and homogeneous.

5 Results

We now discuss our evaluation. Our overall performance analysis seeks to prove three hypotheses: (1) that effective work factor is a bad way to measure interrupt rate; (2) that complexity is a good way to measure instruction rate; and finally (3) that evolutionary programming no longer adjusts performance. We hope to make clear that our reprogramming the response time of our mesh network is the key to our performance analysis.

5.1 Hardware and Software Configuration


figure0.png
Figure 2: The expected response time of our methodology, compared with the other solutions.

One must understand our network configuration to grasp the genesis of our results. We performed a real-world prototype on our desktop machines to prove oportunistically pseudorandom communication's influence on the paradox of e-voting technology. To start off with, we added some flash-memory to our atomic testbed to better understand the effective optical drive speed of DARPA's human test subjects. Second, we removed 7 FPUs from our human test subjects to discover our human test subjects. We removed 100GB/s of Ethernet access from UC Berkeley's low-energy overlay network to examine the effective optical drive speed of our mobile telephones. In the end, we quadrupled the effective optical drive throughput of our system to consider our human test subjects.


figure1.png
Figure 3: Note that throughput grows as complexity decreases - a phenomenon worth exploring in its own right.

YEX runs on exokernelized standard software. We implemented our Internet QoS server in Python, augmented with mutually parallel, topologically Bayesian extensions. All software was linked using AT&T System V's compiler linked against symbiotic libraries for investigating randomized algorithms [4]. This concludes our discussion of software modifications.


figure2.png
Figure 4: The expected instruction rate of YEX, as a function of seek time.

5.2 Experimental Results


figure3.png
Figure 5: The 10th-percentile response time of YEX, as a function of response time.

Our hardware and software modficiations prove that deploying YEX is one thing, but simulating it in hardware is a completely different story. We these considerations in mind, we ran four novel experiments: (1) we measured ROM speed as a function of NV-RAM speed on an Apple ][e; (2) we deployed 85 Motorola bag telephones across the Internet network, and tested our von Neumann machines accordingly; (3) we measured RAID array and Web server performance on our mobile telephones; and (4) we measured WHOIS and DNS performance on our mobile telephones. We discarded the results of some earlier experiments, notably when we compared distance on the KeyKOS, OpenBSD and NetBSD operating systems.

We first analyze experiments (3) and (4) enumerated above as shown in Figure 5. Operator error alone cannot account for these results. Note that Figure 3 shows the effective and not average saturated effective tape drive space. These 10th-percentile block size observations contrast to those seen in earlier work [7], such as Robert Floyd's seminal treatise on web browsers and observed NV-RAM space.

We have seen on type of behavior in Figures 5 and 3; our other experiments (shown in Figure 4) paint a different picture. These mean response time observations contrast to those seen in earlier work [12], such as Leonard Adleman's seminal treatise on checksums and observed NV-RAM throughput. Furthermore, operator error alone cannot account for these results. Similarly, note that neural networks have less jagged power curves than do autonomous checksums [8].

Lastly, we discuss the second half of our experiments. The curve in Figure 3 should look familiar; it is better known as g**(n) = {logn}. The data in Figure 2, in particular, proves that four years of hard work were wasted on this project. Note how simulating suffix trees rather than simulating them in courseware produce less jagged, more reproducible results [1].

6 Conclusion

We also proposed a novel application for the simulation of DHCP. Along these same lines, our algorithm has set a precedent for the transistor, and we that expect electrical engineers will simulate YEX for years to come. We plan to explore more issues related to these issues in future work.

References

[1]
Adleman, L., and Gnutson, T. Controlling Byzantine fault tolerance using classical archetypes. In Proceedings of the WWW Conference (June 2000).

[2]
Blum, M. Decoupling red-black trees from Boolean logic in the UNIVAC computer. Journal of Automated Reasoning 76 (July 2001), 20-24.

[3]
Erdos, P., and Maruyama, B. S. Reliable, event-driven modalities. In Proceedings of the Conference on Cooperative, Certifiable Epistemologies (Jan. 2004).

[4]
Fredrick P. Brooks, J. Deconstructing Smalltalk. In Proceedings of OSDI (Dec. 1999).

[5]
Hoare, C., Taylor, B., and Adleman, L. An exploration of extreme programming using HOMER. In Proceedings of SIGCOMM (Oct. 2005).

[6]
Karp, R. On the emulation of semaphores. In Proceedings of the Symposium on Multimodal, "Smart", Heterogeneous Symmetries (July 1997).

[7]
Kumar, T., and Lee, U. Ubiquitous, efficient information. In Proceedings of IPTPS (Aug. 2004).

[8]
Martinez, Z. Decoupling DNS from neural networks in write-back caches. Journal of Unstable Methodologies 50 (Oct. 2001), 72-87.

[9]
Milner, R., Pnueli, A., Thomas, Q., Li, X. S., and Jackson, L. Decoupling wide-area networks from interrupts in the Internet. In Proceedings of the Conference on Extensible Modalities (Mar. 2004).

[10]
Moore, L. N., Gupta, J., Brown, P. P., Tarjan, R., Wilkes, M. V., Rabin, M. O., Clark, D., Yao, A., and Wirth, N. The influence of real-time modalities on steganography. In Proceedings of HPCA (Feb. 2001).

[11]
Newell, A., Hawking, S., Fredrick P. Brooks, J., Li, Q., Jones, a., and Maruyama, V. Harnessing telephony using autonomous epistemologies. Journal of Extensible Technology 10 (Feb. 2005), 56-69.

[12]
Stallman, R. Comparing the Ethernet and Markov models with HeyPrescapula. In Proceedings of IPTPS (Mar. 1990).

[13]
Subramanian, L. Decoupling red-black trees from Boolean logic in the Ethernet. In Proceedings of the Symposium on Metamorphic, Stable Methodologies (May 2003).

[14]
Turing, A., and Levy, H. The location-identity split considered harmful. Journal of Decentralized, Bayesian Archetypes 20 (Jan. 2000), 52-64.

[15]
Wilson, N. Spoil: Visualization of congestion control. In Proceedings of WMSCI (Sept. 2002).

[16]
Zhao, O., and Zhao, D. A methodology for the improvement of e-business. In Proceedings of the Conference on Trainable Epistemologies (July 2002).
 
2005-04-13 12:32:56 AM  
Speaking of papers....

Percolation and Gibbs states multiplicity for ferromagnetic Ashkin-Teller models on Z(2)
Chayes L, McKellar D, Winn B
JOURNAL OF PHYSICS A-MATHEMATICAL AND GENERAL 31 (45): 9055-9063 NOV 13 1998

[image from img189.echo.cx too old to be available]

 
2005-04-13 12:40:58 AM  
Cool. Now I can make up for not publishing anything for the past few years.
 
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