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(Komo)   Children's playground torched. Police are hot on the trail, matching known suspects, and trying to smoke out the inflamous infidels   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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3920 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2005 at 5:32 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

45 Comments     (+0 »)
2005-04-03 05:34:48 PM  
wow #1... but didnt rtfa
2005-04-03 05:35:40 PM  
huh-huh. Fire, Fire, Fire!
2005-04-03 05:35:57 PM  
ok so I read to make it official.
2005-04-03 05:36:01 PM  
2005-04-03 05:37:27 PM  
"Someone... someone... put fires on it," said 6-year-old Lynnishia Larson.

2005-04-03 05:38:42 PM  
I stopped 2 kids from doing this in my neighborhood a couple of years ago, they looked like they were 8 and 12, and already had 3 foot flames from one low platform. I stomped out the flames, the older kid actually tried to get violent with me, and I walked home to report them to the cops. Dopy kids were still there and got caught, and I walked over to ID them.
2005-04-03 05:39:06 PM  
Holy Christ at this quote:

The things children climb up and slide down are now melted and useless.

Slides? Who the fark hired this reporter?
2005-04-03 05:39:31 PM  
"Someone... someone... put fires on it," said 6-year-old Lynnishia Larson.

Nice grammar, dumbass.
2005-04-03 05:39:36 PM  
Come on... inflamous? Christ.
2005-04-03 05:40:45 PM  
This happened to the Playground of Dreams here where I live. They never caught the kids who did it. But it got rebuilt. It felt good to spend a day on that project.
2005-04-03 05:40:53 PM  
What a dumb ass headline.
2005-04-03 05:42:19 PM  
''The district says insurance will likely replace it. But replacing a child's trust may not be as easy.''

More sentimental please.

The two kids look hearthbroken. :(
2005-04-03 05:42:52 PM  
Guess there is a lot to be said for the old school steel slides....little farkers would have a tough time melthing that...
2005-04-03 05:45:13 PM  
... parents don't know how to explain arson to a Kindergartener.

Stand back, folks.


I love the smell of burnt playgrounds in the morning. It smells like... victory.

Thank you.
2005-04-03 05:45:27 PM  
How cool would it be if Marvin(Sin City) woke up drunk next to this playground instead of that broad Goldie.
2005-04-03 05:46:51 PM  
Can anyone say, "Slow news day"
//Seriously hates kids
2005-04-03 05:47:03 PM  
>:| Nice writing.
2005-04-03 05:47:50 PM  
Nice grammar, dumbass.

Although unidiomatic, the six-year-old's sentence was grammatically flawless. Idiot.
2005-04-03 05:48:10 PM  
"Someone... someone... put fires on it," said 6-year-old Lynnishia Larson.

I think the word she was searching for was "sh*thead." And she'd be right.
2005-04-03 05:49:13 PM  
Just kidding.
2005-04-03 05:53:15 PM  
headline blows

but in a good way
2005-04-03 05:53:20 PM  
Sounds like there was a hot time at the ol' playground last night!
2005-04-03 06:07:46 PM  
Yay.. This was the elementary school I went to when I was a kid. Not that anybody cares.. :)
2005-04-03 06:30:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-04-03 06:32:31 PM  
Dammit, go GIS search results for the burning playground in Terminator 2.

This is no way to run an internet.
2005-04-03 06:49:33 PM  
after reading that, am I the only one who thought it sounded an awful lot like something out of "kent's corner" or "bart's people" .. emotional dribble.
2005-04-03 06:50:57 PM  
err, drivel.. sorry, I'm sick, my mind isn't working so good right now.
2005-04-03 06:59:52 PM  
Next thing you know these same people will be taking away our rocks, and we'll have nothing left to wind strings around. Or maybe even my priceless prosthetic forehead!!!
2005-04-03 07:02:52 PM  
Sounds like a Paul Harvey radio headline.
2005-04-03 07:10:29 PM  
Man, this sounds like an article posted on September 12th.
2005-04-03 07:17:04 PM  
Investigators suspect teens who didn't know or didn't care that parents raised the money to build this playground -- and that parents don't know how to explain arson to a Kindergartener.

I read that as:

"Investigators suspect ... that parents don't know how to explain arson to a Kindergartener. "

I thought, "Damn, those investigators are jerks!"
2005-04-03 07:22:49 PM  
dkny: kent's corner

great reference. I've always wanted to watch longer broadcasts of the Springfield tv news.
2005-04-03 07:47:23 PM  

I got it. Vintage TMBG. Nice violin in that song, too.
2005-04-03 08:41:23 PM  
"Someone... someone... put fires on it," said 6-year-old Lynnishia Larson.

Bah! It's a media cover-up! Lynnishia is the child of a government official, so her part in this is being concealed. The real news article was pulled, and replaced by this dreck.

Luckily, the Smoke organization has access to the original article, which you were never meant to see. I will now reproduce the authentic quote, right from the original article.

"Someone... someone... put fires on it," said 6-year-old Lynnishia Larson. "I don't know who... He talks to me, in my head... Someone keeps telling me that he'll burn me next, if I don't do what he says... Someone hated the playground... He wanted it burned. Someone couldn't do it himself, so I... so I..."

At this point, Lynnishia trailed off. Any further attempts at speaking to her were met with harsh, accusing stares from her personal bodyguard.
2005-04-03 08:46:04 PM  
Emotional drivel is the single most widely used smoke-screen the government deploys when pulling a news article. Emotional human interest stories are a dime a dozen; no one ever notices if there are too many, or not enough, and no one is surprised to see one taking up space.

So if you're cutting something out of the news, what better way to replace it? Or, if you want to downplay an event, what better way than to morph it into something people will ignore!?

Luckily, the secret Smoke organization is ready and able to see past the mirrors.

Stay online. Whatever information we release next just might save your lives.
2005-04-03 09:07:11 PM  
The headline sucks because the writer tried WAY WAY to hard.
2005-04-03 09:30:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2005-04-03 10:41:22 PM  
Someone set fire to my school playground when I was in elementary school. We just went and played somewhere else until it was replaced. We knew what arson was, our parents weren't afraid to tell us the truth. Heck, chances are it was one of the younger kids who did it.

/poorest school in the district.
//social services car parked in front every week.
///kids kicking the principal in the crotch and setting off stinkbombs in a portable classroom was common.
////most slashes I've ever used, ever.
2005-04-03 11:20:54 PM  
No definitions were found for inflamous.

2005-04-03 11:47:42 PM  
[image from too old to be available]We suspect rowdy teens!Yeah!
2005-04-04 01:26:43 AM  
Marysville, WA? sounds more like Granite Falls to me...
2005-04-04 03:08:27 AM  
That's why playground stuff should go back to steel, not plastics.
2005-04-04 12:38:34 PM  
Come on - now the kids have no where to play?
If you have even a sliver of pavement, get some spraypaint and you've got four-square, dodgeball, red rover, kickball, etc. And that green stuff is called grass...
Kids have creativity - just because they don't have manmade equipment to play on doesn't mean the parents and teachers can't show these kids how to make something positive outta negative.
On my elem. playground we had a huge concrete tube we used to sit in and climb on. That thing was fun!
2005-04-04 01:36:33 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2005-04-04 01:38:35 PM  
Farkulous: small ones are stupid these days. This one kid I know/despise decided to attack me with plastic knives (they actually make you bleed, come to find out) and was shocked when I told him to either give me the knives or I'd take them by force and have his parents take him home.
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