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(Independent)   New DNA testing methods will allow you to trace your heritage back to the Stone Age.   ( news.independent.co.uk) divider line
    More: Cool  
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4394 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2002 at 9:06 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-03-26 09:09:27 AM  
Anything to help the evolutionary argument.
2002-03-26 09:10:05 AM  
Trace your heritage back to some slavedriver = LAWSUIT.
2002-03-26 09:12:32 AM  
Cause ya gotta know evolution needs all the help it can get.
2002-03-26 09:13:11 AM  
That's like one generation for Fb.
2002-03-26 09:13:43 AM  
"I'm just a caveman; your world frightens me....but I do know that a man who slips on an unshoveled sidewalk deserves certain compensatory damages"
2002-03-26 09:13:57 AM  
When the 1901 census was released online, demand was so great that the system crashed.

Whoopity doo, we manage to FARK several servers a day. Whatever happened to John's Crawlspace BTW?
2002-03-26 09:14:43 AM  
I wonder if this will tell me that my in-laws are in fact still part of the stone age. ;)

2002-03-26 09:16:57 AM  
To 9/10's comment: How would this effect the status of the Reparations argument? Would more or less people claim reparations status. If someone who looked completely white was able to trace their roots back to a slave, how would that effect the argument?

2002-03-26 09:18:47 AM  
Anyway, creationism is a crock, a security blanket for fools.

If you believe in creationism, you probably still put teeth under your pillow, and believe you'll collect Social Security when you get old.

Have a fun flamefest, I gotta go to a frickin' department meeting.
#2 [TotalFark]
2002-03-26 09:19:04 AM  
Evolution, eh? It's all bunk, we evolved in one generation. Here's my Uncle Alan and Great Uncle Fred.
wingnuttoons.comView Full Size
2002-03-26 09:22:47 AM  
Discovering whether you are a Pict or Saxon will be more difficult.

Which reminds me of the song "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict" -- Hey, ya gotta love old Pink Floyd. Classic title. Now pass the spliff...
2002-03-26 09:25:45 AM  
It sounds like a nice way to get people to PAY to have their DNA catalogued, sliced, diced and filed away for future use. "Oh, so there's no DNA evidence at the scene of the crime. Let us handle that."

- The truth is out there, no matter how hard we have to bend it to fit our theories!
2002-03-26 09:26:07 AM  
So where is this "ABC's for trainables"?
2002-03-26 09:27:51 AM  
One [test] has traced the maternal ancestry of almost all Europeans to just seven women who lived in different parts of the continent between 45,000 and 10,000 years ago.
Wow, now that is a group of...um...prolific women!
2002-03-26 09:30:28 AM  
Mattdog: I would think it would increase the number of people making a reparations claim - and not just for slavery, either.

Using the slavery point, if someone can find one direct relation(grandparent, great-grandparent, great-great-grandparent, etc.) who is black even though all of the rest of your relatives are white, the government classifies you as a minority according to the U.S. Census. I can easily see people discovering that and adding their name to the class-action suits being formed against U.S. corporations. I can even see it going as far as war crimes, i.e. suing the grandson of some Nazi death camp guard for reparations because the guard ran a chain gang and the plaintiff's second cousin twice-removed died while in that guard's charge. It sounds ridiculous, but lawyers and greedy people do ridiculous things.
2002-03-26 09:31:49 AM  
One has traced the maternal ancestry of almost all Europeans to just seven women who lived in different parts of the continent between 45,000 and 10,000 years ago.

2002-03-26 09:34:17 AM  
I hope I came from the guy who invented the loincloth. Almost everybody wears underwear, and I need some royalties.
2002-03-26 09:38:45 AM  
Well, my relatives came from Germany, so I'm hoping they invented something to do with beer. My retirement fund could use a healthy infusion of cash. ;-)
2002-03-26 09:40:09 AM  
"Cause ya gotta know evolution needs all the help it can get."

So can that 'proof of God' thing.
2002-03-26 09:44:30 AM  
Where are the fundies to explain away this inconvenient fact that runs directly counter to their myth?
2002-03-26 09:45:26 AM  
I like DNA, it tastes good. Especially with red wine.
2002-03-26 09:46:50 AM  
So at least if you get bombed back to the Stone age you will be able to look up some family!
2002-03-26 09:47:33 AM  
dunno if I'd want to do this... I mean *what if* they found French or English ancestory???

I guess it would be better to know.

I need a beer.
2002-03-26 09:52:59 AM  
This expensive DNA tracing is already available.

2002-03-26 10:03:54 AM  
Crazyeddie - this fact neither is inconvenient nor run against my myth.
Its not that I don't believe in evolution, it just I happen to believe that we evolved directly from sand, and it only took a day. Ofcourse I can't prove it, but that won't stop me :)
2002-03-26 10:06:02 AM  
I guess if I could trace my ancestry back to the Ould Country, the British Government would be paying some serious reparations....
2002-03-26 10:06:32 AM  
...speaking of evolution (to keep this from being off topic)....In case anyone's interested (which I doubt) ESPN has a Baseball Challenge Thingy you can join. Kinda fun. No heavy lifting. Just a couple of auto-completes and your in.

If your interested, give it a shot. I registered a team under Fark.com.

...and now, back to the flame war. When we last left our experts, they were serving and volleying suppositions and conjectures. Let's watch.......
2002-03-26 10:10:44 AM  
Joshua5 I wasn't sure if you were being serious or not, but then I checked out your bio. Thanks for setting me straight. :)

Well, I guess I need some clarification. Are you a Young Earth Creationist (Earth is 6-10,000 years old, as it explains in the bible) or an Old Earth Creationist (Earth is as old as astronomical, geological, biological, and fossil evidence suggests: 4.5 Billion)?

If you are a YEC, I don't see how these findings aren't a smack to your face. I'm willing to listen...
2002-03-26 10:15:16 AM  
DNA is a tool of the devil used to make us turn our backs on God. Just like telescopes, carbon dating, dinosaur bones, pre-homo sapien homonid remains, amd common sense... all tools of the devil!!!
2002-03-26 10:15:23 AM  
DNA is a tool of the devil used to make us turn our backs on God. Just like telescopes, carbon dating, dinosaur bones, pre-homo sapien homonid remains, and common sense... all tools of the devil!!!
2002-03-26 10:15:44 AM  
I'm definitely an old earth creationist. Yep this several billion year old earth was created about 6-14k years ago however. Nothing could survive on a young earth you sillies.
2002-03-26 10:20:20 AM  
??? I'm sorry, Joshua5, I don't follow your reasoning. Are you saying that the Earth is really 6-14K y/o, but was made "old" so that we could survive on it?
2002-03-26 10:24:43 AM  
ya something like that, but I'm open minded to the fact that I could be totally wrong on the whole thing. But that was long ago and doesn't really matter to me. I'm just throwing some ideas out there in a friendly fashion.
2002-03-26 10:32:16 AM  
Fair enough. I just see your reasoning as a little faulty.

Or I guess I could say that your reasoning is as reasonable as the idea that we were all made 48 minutes ago, and that we were created with memories of our past that did not actually occur. Although we might find evidence of our past beyond 48 minutes ago (eg pictures, video, things we remember doing, things we made, wrote, etc), they were all created 48 minutes ago to give the impression of longevity.

Do you see how this idea is identical to yours? Do you see that by ignoring the scientific and empirical evidence in front of you, you have no way of distinguishing from among the infinite possible origins of your existence? Maybe we were all created 5 minutes ago, created fully with memories of our entire lives. Maybe it was last Thursday.

Why are you afraid to believe that reality is consistent with the facts of reality?
2002-03-26 10:34:58 AM  
Do you realize that they came up with the age of the earth was adding up all of the begats and begots? There is nothing actually in the bible that says the earth is about 6K years old. Just another example of some jackass saying something that somehow becomes fact in the retelling. It'll probably be included in the next revision of the Living Bible.

No I won't recant my statement, even if you do lock me away.
2002-03-26 10:35:39 AM  
I don't particularly care about my ancestry.
2002-03-26 10:36:51 AM  
double post = moron
2002-03-26 10:37:48 AM  
I agree with Stevarooni. It sounds like a cost efficient manner for the government to get your DNA makeup on a database. I'm keeping all my DNA to myself. (except for on friday night when a certain biatch will be copping it down the back of her throat.)
2002-03-26 10:38:22 AM  
This is nothing. The Mormons -- with their giant genealogical databases -- are trying to trace humanity back to Adam and Eve. Beat that, EVILutionists! Heheh.
2002-03-26 10:44:14 AM  
Ok say you want to make a terrarium and you want to keep, oh say lizards, a few ferns. You wouldn't just throw cooling magma rock in it. You would use material that would sustain life. You have to understand my point of view, that everything was created by an intelligent being that has our best interest in mind.

I beleive everything can be explained with science and not go against what I believe.
2002-03-26 10:45:23 AM  
Here's the link to tracing your family back to the seven women through DNA...

2002-03-26 10:46:44 AM  
To go off topic, (yet again) I was wondering what scientific breakthrough most interests you. I think micro technology has a lot of potential.
2002-03-26 10:46:50 AM  
"Oh, you can prove anything with facts..."
2002-03-26 10:50:07 AM  
Crazyeddie don't think I'm trying to change the subject, I do see your point.
2002-03-26 10:55:46 AM  
I'd be funny if someone found out they were related to Jeeedus.
2002-03-26 10:58:44 AM  
Sheseala: Do a Google search for "Merovingian Jesus".
2002-03-26 11:00:12 AM  
Well I'm off to work now, those houses woun't evolve into completion by themselfs.
2002-03-26 11:02:10 AM  
Ok Joshua5 I won't try to change your mind if you won't teach in my schools or hold public office, no offense intended. You're entitled to your beliefs, and I'm entitled to mine.

Calis counting 'begats' may be a rough way of doing things...that's why Young Earth Creationists are flexible about the true number being somewhere in between 6000 and 10,000. That extra four THOUSAND years covers all the extremes of the generational possibilities.

That being said, it is still a far cry from 4.5 billion years ago. Even if they are off by a factor of 10 (perhaps people lived to be 1000 back then?) that would only give you 100,000 years. That's only 0.002% of 4.5 billion.

Do you see?
2002-03-26 11:11:13 AM  
...eagerly awaiting the chance to count bevets instead
2002-03-26 11:49:44 AM  
Or rather, for most Americans, right back to last century!
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