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(BBC)   American company to produce implant chips to "keep tabs on kidnap victims via satellite ." Also, chips that interpret sensations; "..there is no reason why you couldn't make love to your boyfriend across a network"   ( news.bbc.co.uk) divider line
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2694 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2002 at 12:49 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

59 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-24 06:06:25 PM  
"There is no reason why you couldn't shake hands across a network or make love to your boyfriend," said Mr Pearson.

Gee, what possible commercial online applications could there be for this? Anyone have a clue?

As Adrian Zmed said in Bachelor Party, "gentlemen... start your boners."
2002-03-25 12:51:06 AM  
Which day will be boobie day?
2002-03-25 12:51:23 AM  
Why do I get the impression that a 404 Error would be painful, if not fatal?
2002-03-25 12:51:24 AM  
yeah that's what i'm waiting on bob
2002-03-25 12:53:51 AM  
That's all I need. Marlin Perkins and Jim hovering over me in a helicopter so he can shoot me in the butt with a dart so that he can install his GPS device
2002-03-25 12:58:19 AM  
opens up a whole new hack arena. how could you tell?
2002-03-25 01:04:25 AM  
anyone a little worried with the fact that people would know where you were on the globe at all times? i mean...how could you hit up your local hooker or street pharamcist without folks knowing?
2002-03-25 01:04:43 AM  
ooh, this will revolutionize the IRC cybersex arena...
2002-03-25 01:05:44 AM  
Sometimes I like to be where nobody knows where I am. This worries me.
2002-03-25 01:08:22 AM  
The Lo-Jack for people. Maybe the sticker would placed on the forhead?
2002-03-25 01:37:32 AM  
If people were implanted with tracking devices, wouldn't kidnappers simply try to find their victim's device and rip it out? If a satellite can find these doohickeys then surely so can a (properly equipped) person on the ground.

Absolutely no good can come from this.
2002-03-25 01:54:51 AM  
"If people were implanted with tracking devices, wouldn't kidnappers simply try to find their victim's device and rip it out?"

Smart point, another trick is to put the kidnapee (sp?) in a Faraday cage.

PS. Kevin Warwick is a pointless coont (not mentioned in the story but has close links to all this chip implanting crap)
2002-03-25 02:00:51 AM  
"Look at me stick tinfoil in my ass! I'M A CYBORG! WHEEEEEEEEEE!" Just like that family in Florida. Stupid people. This will only bring on Big Brother! DOWN WITH TYRANNY!

Okay. I guess that's enough Firestarters for now. Flame on.
2002-03-25 02:12:26 AM  
Erm, isn't this one of the things mentioned in Revelations? I'd go look it up, but it scares the poo out of me!
2002-03-25 02:16:20 AM  
"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
-Thomas Jefferson
2002-03-25 02:38:54 AM  
For those who complain about constant SPIFFY tags, think on this: we're obviously doing tag theme days now. Sooner or later a day will arrive for BOOBIES. Think on this -- a whole day of FARK with NOTHING but BOOBIES.

Oh, the beauty.
2002-03-25 02:54:08 AM  
The Quote is:
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

And it was Benjamin Franklin that said it.
2002-03-25 03:40:11 AM  
Kane827 Whatever, same thing ;)
2002-03-25 04:55:54 AM  
Yep, Revelations 13:16

He causes all, the small and the great, the rich and the poor, and the free and the slave, to be given marks on their right hands, or on their foreheads;
2002-03-25 06:08:09 AM  
If there was a device that could link you up to the net, I would do that, But I don't know about the whole Lojack for humans, Sure the police could find a kidnapee, But couldn't the bad guys find that same person using the exact same technology? So much for runnning from the bad guys.
2002-03-25 06:30:16 AM  
Chips that monitor blood chemistry are already being made

So now they'll know exactly when and where you do that spliff, bong hit, or line...
2002-03-25 06:34:44 AM  
"There is no reason why you couldn't shake hands across a network or make love to your boyfriend," said Mr Pearson.

That's really bad, sounds like only gay men can benefit from this new technology. Miserable bloody discrimination.
2002-03-25 07:47:09 AM  
Actually, this reminds me of that song by LARD, Can God Fill Teeth?
2002-03-25 08:05:03 AM  
Oh come on people! Why would the government want to track its own people. I am *sure* it will only be used in case of kidnapping.

I bet you people think they have cloned humans also.
2002-03-25 08:05:05 AM  
I bet Richard Pearl's widow is wishing her husband had one of these imbedded in his head before he got his throat slashed.
2002-03-25 08:06:36 AM  
Now, how you going to go and tell people: "We are going to install this GPS chip, to keep you from being kidnapped?"

"You mean you think I'm going to be kidnapped? I just work here man."

"No, really, it's OK. We think of you as a valuable employee and don't want anything bad to happen to you..."

"In that case, transfer me to someplace where kidnapping isn't a problem? How about you send me to Boise? I hear they have cows."

I have to agree with Eraser8, someone goes to the trouble of kidnapping you, they probably don't have a problem cutting an itty-bitty chip out of your ass. This is a much more insidious thing, potentially, than a precaution against kidnapping. Given the current favor that national ID cards seem to running, the current culture of paranoia in Washington, and that the tech could easily be used against a population that allowed themselves to be BRANDED--for the love of Ghod, is anyone actually swallowing this load of crap? Here, it's a chip that will allow anyone in the local power structure to know where you're at all times, it's for your own good. Jesus wept, I had a queasy feeling about a national ID card, now this? New Zealand sounds better all the time. The only good thing is that the chip will be made by government contracters, so you might get a booming business in spoofing the dang things. Just say no to this one kiddies. Hell no.

Of course, you'll have frickin' Everquesters signing up for the chance to have hot, committment free cybersex across the world. BigAl-once it gets out of beta, they might come up with a Het model. That, or it will open up a whole new world for furries... ewww.
2002-03-25 08:39:55 AM  
[image from mediaservice.photoisland.com too old to be available]

You don't need to worry about implant chips.
2002-03-25 09:12:36 AM  
I pass on the implant chip. I know where the fark I am, thank you very much, so why the fark would I want a device implanted in my body that would tell other people where I am? It would totally fark up future games of hide and seek.
2002-03-25 09:17:11 AM  
Not even maybe. Not in a million years. Never will I allow the governemnt to implant a tracking device in my...what? It'll also allow me to experience digital sex? I can have the movies in my head, well, maybe...
Yeah, this can catch on eventually. Scary, but true.
I wonder if jammers will be made to block the signal, and what happens to you if your signal suddenly disappears?
2002-03-25 09:20:51 AM  
SLAYERSWINE: It was Daniel Pearl
2002-03-25 09:20:54 AM  
Um, I would call this scary more than spiffy. What's wrong with you people?

The chip has already been put in a 14 year old kid, voluntarily. Last week they were boasting it was for medical reasons. Now this week they are boasting how they can track kidnap vicitms. Um. Kidnapped victims have to have it in them first. So what's next? Them teling us we have to take the chip so we can be found if lost so they can find us. There's a fine line between this being a useful thing and a tool of big brother. I'm sorry, but anyone who this this is cool or spiffy needs to re-evaluate they're views.

I call this scary.

2002-03-25 09:22:15 AM  
Excuse the spelling. It's early in the morning for me. They're should be their.
2002-03-25 09:22:30 AM  
Sounds painful.
2002-03-25 09:23:18 AM  
It is Monday. I have cobwebs in my head. For all I know the guy's name was Daniel Boone.
I'll take your word on it though.
2002-03-25 09:54:01 AM  
Stupid assholes touting this as a "GOOD" thing are the same type of people screaming about security at all costs. They need to wake the fark up. There is no security anywhere. I'm no militant, gun-carrying survivalist, but I can understand the paranoia.
What's the line? "They can have my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers."
Well they can stick an implant in my body at the cost of my life. Fucl< Big Brother.
2002-03-25 10:18:28 AM  
img.fark.comView Full Size
2002-03-25 10:45:45 AM  
There is no reason why you couldn't shake hands across a network or make love to your boyfriend," said Mr Pearson.

This gives a whole new challenge for hackers. What if I have one of these implanted and get it gets hacked. Can i get gangraped over the network by a bunch of ugly assed hackers?
2002-03-25 10:55:55 AM  
Very scary but with the mood of the general population these days, I can forsee a future law that requires implanting at birth. Hell, right now police agencies encourage people to get their kids photographed and fingerprinted "just in case". Take a look at the 2 girls missing here in OR. The govt will use that as a "See? We could have found them by now if they'd had the implants" and parents will go for it.

The Constitution will shortly be changed to guilty until proven innocent because after all, "why should it matter if you have nothing to hide?" and a large part of the population agrees. About time to head for the hills. Maybe, just maybe, the conspiracy people aren't so far wrong.
2002-03-25 11:25:09 AM  
shove it up your arse
2002-03-25 11:26:58 AM  
I will learn basic surgery and start a business in removing them...no questions asked!
2002-03-25 11:57:37 AM  
Yeah, but consider this...

As a result of this we will also have a whole day with nothing but [WEINERS].
2002-03-25 12:10:09 PM  
Sadly, my room-mate has reminded me that it might be easier to just implant the dang chip in cell phones--seems like dang near everyone has them nowadays, and the kids--those wacky kids--are getting habituated to the whole "I am in in constant contact" thing and will jump at the chance to get a credit card in their thumb... Congratulations kids, we will be the crabby Liberatarians conspiracy nuts...with no mastoid bone cell phones, no DNI hookups, and not running nanoprobes...
2002-03-25 01:09:27 PM  
I'd rather die than have a tracking device stuck into me. Who the hell wants to give Big Brother the ability to track them wherever they go?

Orwell was only off by 18 years, friends...
2002-03-25 01:17:04 PM  
Hubiestubert has a point. Having a tracking device might become a status thing. "I'm so important," says the beautiful rich girl who wouldn't go out with me in highschool (beeatch) "that my daddy had me implanted with The Club brand micro-transponder."

I can just imagine Big Brother preparing his finest meats and cheeses. This is BAD news.
2002-03-25 01:38:03 PM  
True. All the govt has to do is persuade all the little status concious kids that this is a good thing. A little social engineering and anyone without one will be considered odd.
2002-03-25 03:20:34 PM  
I think Ill pass on the implant.
2002-03-25 03:44:35 PM  
My brother just sent me this.

Here are the standard responses of the lifestyle facists:

"Why should you care if you're not doing anything wrong?"
"Where there's smoke there must be fire!"
"The law will protect the truly innocent!"
"The police need this power because the criminals are outgunning
"You have to give up a little liberty because this is different!"

And, of course, my personal favorite ...

"It's for the children!"

Hail the Homeland! (Or else they'll send you to the gulag!)
2002-03-25 04:30:06 PM  
"There is no reason why you couldn't shake hands across a network or make love to your boyfriend," said Mr Pearson.

The dream police, they live inside of my head.
The dream police, they come to me in my bed.
The dream police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no.
2002-03-25 05:01:17 PM  
I dunno....the chip-plant-ees are the souls funding my upcoming vacation to earth....I'm tired of smelling brimstone.....
2002-03-25 07:42:27 PM  
It will begin with an appeal to the safety of your children.

Then it will be to prevent fraud and identity theft.

And then it will ensure the proper functioning of the society, of course.

Finally, we will no longer have the chance to be individuals. Our every action will be monitored in one way or another. Cameras in public places, implanted chips, etc.

Despite being a computer and gadget geek, you will then find me and my family (if applicable) as far from "civilization" as possible.

Freedom is ugly and inefficient. Freedom is scary, because it allows change. Freedom means that some will have, and some will have not. Freedom means that not everyone will do what you expect them to do. Freedom consumes our culture, our history, and our resources for things you'd rather not have. Freedom means that someone who wasn't elected or appointed or even screened will make decisions that will impact your life. Freedom means that Starbucks will fester, that rednecs can still be racist, and that your neighbor (who can barely drive safely) might carry a gun.

You have been warned.
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