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(I-Mockery)   Best (plausibly deniable) unintentional sexual moments in video game history. And by best, they mean least pixellated 8-bit graphics   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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87835 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2005 at 7:18 AM (17 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2005-03-23 7:54:06 PM  
This article is older than my dead grandmother.

/but funnier than her as well
2005-03-23 7:58:07 PM  
aaand, most of those games are ones i've never played and quite possibly never HEARD of.
The only one I've played was Kung Fu.
2005-03-23 7:59:54 PM  

[image from too old to be available]

2005-03-23 8:02:37 PM  

You've never played Rampage? Seriously? It's a classic, and it was really fun.

I think they covered too many games. Many of them (Ring King, etc) were funny, but some (e.g. TMNT2), had to try too hard to make a weak joke.
2005-03-23 8:09:12 PM  
River City Ransom was great game.
2005-03-23 8:21:54 PM  

I just sprayed huge white pixels all over vaguely sexual flesh-colored dots.
2005-03-23 8:31:01 PM  
Jebus! How long is that article? I gave up after about 20 pages.
2005-03-23 8:34:25 PM  
YouDummy: Jebus! How long is that article? I gave up after about 20 pages.

Like I said, it's been a long-running feature of I-Mockery for years now that they continue to add to every now and then. An entertaining read but so five minutes ago :P
2005-03-23 8:57:36 PM  
Ghosts N' Goblins was an addicting, but very difficult game. We used to sit there for hours getting pissed off at it!

/long live the 8-bit
2005-03-23 9:44:45 PM  
Knights of the Round was awesome. I had never noticed the mad tiger balls. It is now awesomer.
2005-03-23 10:05:06 PM  
This is a dupe from last year.
2005-03-23 11:23:54 PM  
Ya seen this before. Still funny and all.
2005-03-23 11:39:00 PM  
Was it just me, or does this site use the on-click method to bypass popup blocking?
2005-03-24 10:40:06 AM  
Farked? :(
2005-03-24 10:45:21 AM  
Naked smurfette in Smurf Hunt for the ColecoVision. Anyone else remember this one?
2005-03-24 10:47:19 AM  
Link Farked?
2005-03-24 10:48:43 AM  
2005-03-24 10:49:45 AM  
We Farked i-mockery. *hangs head in shame*
2005-03-24 10:50:12 AM  

Remember it well, if it's the one I owned.

Was it the one where you made this single linear trek to the tunes of "Ode To Joy" and had to jump on Gargamel's table to rescue Smurfette?

Ahh...good ole Colecovision.

I am old at 36 :(
2005-03-24 10:52:34 AM  
Coleco was the best, I still have it, and still play it occationally. Never got to see naked Smurfette though. I guess I know what I'm doing tonight, time to dust the old girl off.

/feels old at 23
2005-03-24 10:53:46 AM  
And I-Mockery STILL hasn't included the lesbian love scene in Viewtiful Joe ...
2005-03-24 10:53:57 AM  
Pics are farked.

/oh well
2005-03-24 10:54:10 AM  
goininjury- yep, that would be the one. One the screen that had smurfette, if you walked back to the previous screen and then back to her screen she would have no clothes on. Pathetic I remember that (33 myself).
2005-03-24 10:54:10 AM  
I liked the alternate ending to Nintendo's Castlevania where instead of killing Dracula, you rip his pants down and sodomize him until he gives you the keys to the place and it becomes a sort of Liesure Suit Vampire Killer game with all sorts of hot little daemons running around felating the gargoyles.
2005-03-24 10:54:51 AM  
I remember playing Ring King when I was in middle school. The unintended humor of that game was certainly not lost on us. Ahh, this page brings back memories. Thank God for emulators.

/Goes to fire up MAME.
//Then maybe some Nesticle.
2005-03-24 10:56:30 AM  

Sounds more like "Dorsalveinia" rather than Castlevania.
2005-03-24 10:59:17 AM  
Anyone here playing God Of War?

Topless Greek babes and sex mini-game. A video game geek's wet dream.
2005-03-24 11:00:34 AM  
Hottest graphics had to belong to Zork....
2005-03-24 11:04:35 AM  
In Prince of Persia you could hump the walls.
2005-03-24 11:05:40 AM  
Did anyone see "Spirited Away"?

'No Face' has a real sedate kind of sexual groaning thing going on in the dubbed version.

2005-03-24 11:05:47 AM  
Also, in Zelda 3, did anyone have Link hump his dead uncle in the sewers in the beginning of the game, or was that just me?
2005-03-24 11:08:53 AM  
uncle farker!
2005-03-24 11:09:07 AM  
In Altered Beast for the Genesis you could get some nasty bear-on-bear action, anyone remember that?
2005-03-24 11:12:11 AM  
well in a kind of unrelated sexual thing -

anyone in here ever play gologo 13?

Dude had sex in every chapter.

IT was a bond esq game...good times
2005-03-24 11:12:19 AM  
Hey did you guys know this is OLD AS FARK?
2005-03-24 11:16:03 AM  
oh yay! i-mockery! i wonder the odds of it being farked... oh.. yeah...
2005-03-24 11:20:57 AM  
2005-03-24 11:23:02 AM  
Ah yes, a truly frightening enemy indeed. Woe unto those who wrong the giant urinal and his toilet bodyguards. And not a urinal cake in sight.

Um, that's not a urinal, dude.

[image from too old to be available]

/link is not farked, just slow
2005-03-24 11:38:12 AM  
Anyone else make Yuna sit on Brother's face near the beginning of Final Fantasy X 2?
2005-03-24 11:43:01 AM  
I swear, every time this site is linked to fark, it either gets farked or slows way down.
2005-03-24 11:53:19 AM  
anybody else think starry_eyes82 is a dude?
2005-03-24 11:59:32 AM  
Streets of Rage 3, is a damn fine game. Too bad a buddy of mine never gave it back. Now I'm stuck with II. I remember "going, what the? you can see her panties"... Then running it in slow mo to prove it to my friend.

2005-03-24 12:00:28 PM
2005-03-24 12:34:15 PM  
For those who like those 'bad' reviews of videogames, here's some more links:

If you got any others, please post them. I love to read them.
2005-03-24 12:39:22 PM  
Al Boondy: And I-Mockery STILL hasn't included the lesbian love scene in Viewtiful Joe ...

Where are these pics my friend?
2005-03-24 12:40:02 PM  
The Rampage "DIGITAL WANG!" totally made me laugh my ass off. Now I'm off to pick it back up off the floor..
2005-03-24 12:40:42 PM  
What about the Atari Custer's Last Stand? Maybe NSFW pixels?
2005-03-24 12:43:49 PM  
Or Beat 'em and Eat 'em. NSFW. A real sicky.
2005-03-24 12:54:24 PM  
I had a bunch of people convinced that if you pressed Sonya's finishing move the right way, she'd take off her top and flash her boobies. I printed out a fake magazine article to prove it. It was funny watching them waste all those quarters....
2005-03-24 12:57:11 PM  
How could they forget Metal Gear Solid 3?
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