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(USA Today)   Geek National Guard proposed   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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6371 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Mar 2002 at 4:23 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

54 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-22 04:24:59 PM  
Geek National Guard? Where do I sign up?
2002-03-22 04:25:33 PM  
i'll enlist if they give us guns.
2002-03-22 04:26:53 PM  
2002-03-22 04:27:15 PM  
What's this, DannyPants, the new version of "I have a computer"? Give it a rest.
2002-03-22 04:27:59 PM  
This will be disbanded after finding out for the six months the Geek guard was together, they downlaoded six Terabytes of .jpeg and .avi pr0n onto Federal servers.
2002-03-22 04:28:08 PM  
And I will be their King.
2002-03-22 04:28:14 PM  
That's a damn good idea. I want to join!
2002-03-22 04:29:57 PM  
Hmm...geeks with guns would be more powerful than tough guys with guns. Geeks have better anger from years of torment, hence are perfect fighters, well that and most play FPS games that mirror real war (except 1337 CS D00dz, they don't count and shouldn't be allowed to vote or fight).
2002-03-22 04:30:00 PM  
I can just see banks and what not hacked from the inside.
2002-03-22 04:30:29 PM  
Dannypants: the password is "ennui"
2002-03-22 04:30:44 PM  
I'm holding out for the Geek Militia.
2002-03-22 04:31:52 PM  
Oh yeah, I'd join, as long as we get to have our own 1.5 (min)Ghz comps (AMD pref) and have unlimited bandwidth...mm, think of the power...oh yeah, and it should only be 6months serving so I can rejoin for more comps for free.
2002-03-22 04:32:14 PM  
2002-03-22 04:34:32 PM  
"Access to this database would enable federal, state and local officials, as well as nongovernmental relief organizations, to locate quickly whatever technology or scientific help they may need,"

*Knock knock*
(You open door)
"Hello Mr. Caffeine-Swiller, the National Database of High Tech Stuff indicates that you have a 'leventy Gigasmurf Pentium XXIV. The terrorists have attacked and our massive army of Everquest players is poised to retaliate. This is a draft notice for your machine. Here is a Palm Pilot for you to use during this emergency."
2002-03-22 04:35:11 PM  
When Gordon is on down time from serving in his "High Tech" guard duty, he' patrolling the streets in his hovercraft.
2002-03-22 04:35:38 PM  
Virion Hmm...geeks with guns would be more powerful than tough guys with guns. Geeks have better anger from years of torment, hence are perfect fighters

That may be, but they will each have to have their 7th grade Gym teacher there yelling, "COME ON YOU CANDY ASSED MOMMA'S BOY!!! CLIMB THAT ROPE OR WE'RE PLAYING BUTTBALL AGAIN!!!"
2002-03-22 04:36:42 PM  
They're just trying to create a database for potential hackers.
2002-03-22 04:37:50 PM  
Did someone say the Greek National Guard?!

I'm SO in for that.

2002-03-22 04:38:18 PM  
Seven(7) government grants of 5,OOO,OOO. Each to set up an emergency network of "Geeks"? Where do I apply?
Simple math 7X5= $35,ooo,ooo. Thirty five million dollars!
They must be serious! Attention all Geeks! There's a bunch 'a bucks (and I don't mean male deer) in it for you.
Jobless rate in silly-con valley going down.
2002-03-22 04:38:37 PM  
why do friday afternoon's rock on so slowly?
2002-03-22 04:39:42 PM  
I can see it now... a section of the defense department all running around in Star Trek uniforms. Dammit Jim! They're trying to modify the hex code!
2002-03-22 04:41:26 PM  
Careful there people, some of you might actually have to go outside.
2002-03-22 04:42:27 PM  
All this talk about Greeks is making me horny.
2002-03-22 04:43:42 PM  
Not so bright an idea, IMHO. Computer geeks would be more useful by electronically protecting the private companies/industries/utilities they work for from 'cyberattack'.
2002-03-22 04:45:58 PM  
If you want a quick raise, just tell your boss you're going to accept a government job that pays more.
2002-03-22 04:49:09 PM  
Saulsa, ever see Water boy? Yeah, kinda like that, but with the geek's worst enemy head on the enemy, heh.
2002-03-22 04:50:53 PM  
Where's Joe Don Baker? He could take care of Dannypants.
2002-03-22 04:50:54 PM  
"Microsoft, AOL Time Warner, Intel and Oracle."

Oh man this thing is going to get haxored so fast.
2002-03-22 04:52:48 PM  
Do we get to wear super hero outfits and names? I'll be the Hard Driver...*gets to work drawing up his outfit*
2002-03-22 04:53:21 PM  
Vexhex, I can see it now, two great armies face off in cyberspace, 1337 H4x0rs vs. T3ch gU4rd5.
2002-03-22 04:53:57 PM  
This is definately a bad idea. Leave this to the security experts at McAfee.

If they do this how will my McAfee stock go up so I can retire one day.
2002-03-22 04:59:52 PM  
The future of the U.S. National Defense relies on these men.
img.fark.netView Full Size

P.S. sorry anbout previous pic being to big, forgot that the site it's on does full size images.
2002-03-22 05:00:27 PM  
Yes Half-Life is the best game on the PC market.
2002-03-22 05:01:46 PM  
Greecian Guard demands Uzuo & Uzis.


*smashes plate*
2002-03-22 05:02:15 PM  
what is this? lets see how many
img.fark.netView Full Size
links in a row we can have?
2002-03-22 05:03:01 PM  
Where's the "France Surrenders" tag?
2002-03-22 05:03:47 PM  
Virion - WHO are these men?
2002-03-22 05:05:38 PM  
EATME, I was just saying that a "geek army" would consist of people that play fps games, the first pic I found was that big sniper army pic in my previous post.
2002-03-22 05:12:22 PM  
The units making up the Geek National Guard would be known as "Goof Patrols", and naturally, they would be armed with cheap Star War lightsabers.
2002-03-22 05:16:36 PM  
Say, that sounds like a real 'life-saving' way to commit WAR. Do all the bloody fighting on a computer! Yes! Make it a game. Let's all play "WAR" and win a bunch of stuff.
2002-03-22 05:18:39 PM  
Can Wheaton be my CO?
img.fark.netView Full Size
status virtually guaranteed
2002-03-22 05:22:47 PM  
I guess I would be in the Kamikazi Division, seeing how often I crash.
2002-03-22 05:33:26 PM  
My beloved OMAR-SHARIF, you made me cry . . . now you make me laugh. Crash me again, baby!
2002-03-22 05:36:01 PM  
$5 million??? For feasibility studies?

Sounds like a bail-out plan for failed internet startups.

Hell, join the National Guard, they may even give you ammunition.
2002-03-22 05:38:56 PM  
Bail out? Who cares! Give us a high pay jobs with perks up the gazzoo!
2002-03-22 05:46:39 PM  
on a serious not it sounds like more big gov't to me. I don't think we need any kind of "High Tech Task Force". If you remember back to Sept 11 the doggone stock exchange was back up and running in a week after a large part if not most of it's high tech infrastructure was demolished along with the WTC, The unfortunate reality here folks is that lawmakers and our president are doing their best to milk the Sept 11 attacks for all their worth.
Remember that those who trade freedom for security deserve neither.
2002-03-22 05:56:13 PM  
Roxtar - Point well made. I hadn't thought about from that angle. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Personaly, I sleep with a loaded .45 as my nightime companion. (Talk about happiness being a 'warm gun', eh.) Now that's security and freedom!
2002-03-22 05:57:37 PM  
"the bill would utilize private industry to create rapid response teams that can offer private-sector expertise and equipment. "

I dont like my public and my private mixing like that.
2002-03-22 06:01:06 PM  
This reminds me of a sign I saw once on a building that read "Greek National Club". But somebody removed the R. :)
2002-03-22 06:32:52 PM  
Heh, Big Brother is watching, and now he has Personifications of Geek to attack you with physically!
[image from scifi.com too old to be available]
Short film: "Me and the Big Guy"
^makes you think, and it's funny...
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