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(Hoosier Gazette)   More men are planning financially for their divorces before they even get married   (hoosiergazette.com) divider line
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12037 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2005 at 4:39 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2005-03-15 7:10:01 PM  
Hoosier Gazette articles are drawn from different sources and some are fictitious or satirical. The Hoosier Gazette uses invented names in some stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The reader should suspend belief for the sake of enjoyment.
 
2005-03-15 7:16:51 PM  
Satire or not..the headline is fairly accurate.

Ive been single 12 years. At my age, my choices are women who are DV with small kids and generally emotional basket cases, OR flat out psycho drama queens, OR always hunting for greener pastures (man eaters).

/no offense to the miniscule few (percentagewise) decent wimmins. I do still by lottery tickets on occasion.
 
2005-03-15 7:26:45 PM  
Satire or not, any man who gets married without a pre-nuptial is a fool. No it isn't romantic, but neither is getting screwed out of your home and investments.
 
2005-03-15 7:29:00 PM  
amen eddyatwork...it's only fair to walk away with what you walk in with, period.
 
2005-03-15 7:30:04 PM  
Gary, when I was single, the pool of available men wasn't so great either, so it works both ways. At 34, I finally met the man who became my husband, but I had a lot of difficult and heart breaking relationships before I met him. I am very lucky to be in the relationship I am in, but I never take it for granted and I never forget the lessons I learned from the various jerks that I have known.
 
2005-03-15 7:31:42 PM  
GaryPDX: always hunting for greener pastures (man eaters).

Hey! I resemble that remark!
 
2005-03-15 7:32:51 PM  
A pre-nuptial doesn't necessarily safeguard anything. You still have to go through the pain of divorce, and pay a lawyer to help you enforce the pre-nup. The trick is to communicate with your potential partner, for example:

Boyfriend: Are you a psycho biatch from hell?
Girlfriend: Yes.
Boyfriend: I don't want to marry you. Good bye!
 
2005-03-15 7:33:58 PM  
Hemptastic, good for you..that's extremely rare. So rare..at my age (46)..Ive pretty much given up. Not that that's a bad thing..I just don't care about it anymore.
 
2005-03-15 7:34:32 PM  
eddyatwork:
any man who gets married without a pre-nuptial is a fool

Just marry a woman with more assets and earning potential than you. No pre-nup required ;).

I always told my wife she'd know the marriage was over when she saw the belt-sander flying into the bathtub with her.

/"Officer, I always told her to use an emery board on those calluses...[sniff]."
 
2005-03-15 7:35:01 PM  
Gary, it's not so bad to be single. It's better than being in any unhappy relationship.
 
2005-03-15 7:35:39 PM  
2005-03-15 07:31:42 PM Dom Roark [TotalFark]

GaryPDX: always hunting for greener pastures (man eaters).

Hey! I resemble that remark!


lol..you and my ex would get along just peachy...birds of a feather as it were..hahahahaha
 
2005-03-15 7:37:29 PM  
2005-03-15 07:35:01 PM Hemptastic [TotalFark]

Gary, it's not so bad to be single. It's better than being in any unhappy relationship.


Amen..I'm just fine..no worries here..got what's left all planned out too. AND..I got SOOOOO many toys!!!
 
2005-03-15 7:40:29 PM  
GaryPDX: you and my ex would get along just peachy

Hehe. Actually, my ex would get along with your ex. While he did not leave me for another chick, he seems to have moved on to younger, probably much greener pastures. We were lucky enough to start out with nothing, and we split 50/50 all of the nothing we had at the end.
 
2005-03-15 7:44:05 PM  
Dom I affectionately call my ex..a "Serial Monogamist". She takes what she can get and sets up a new mark. It's methodical and well played. And..ughh..she happens to be the mother of my 2 sons. Four and a half more years and the youngest is 18..I cannot farkin wait when they can make their own decisions.
 
2005-03-15 7:44:38 PM  
No it isn't romantic, but neither is getting screwed out of your home and investments.

Some of us who get married don't have such things, so a prenup is probably kinda pointless.
 
2005-03-15 8:20:22 PM  
Being single, and planning to stay so, I just use what would be my alimony/child support on lots of hookers.
 
2005-03-15 8:46:21 PM  
Considering about all we owned when we got hitched was our computers, a lounge and a few others bit of furniture, and some DVDs and video games, a prenup wasn't really a consideration.

"No, *I'm* keeping Animal Crossing!"
"Well, fine, but I'm keeping the boxed Lord of the Ring movies!"

Seriously, though, I'm pretty sure prenuptial agreements aren't legally binding in my jurisdiction. And property accumulated during the marriage doesn't come under their auspices, so is pretty useless to me and the boy.
 
2005-03-15 8:52:17 PM  
Goddamn!

I got married with every intention of staying with mamrita...what is wrong with this?
 
2005-03-15 8:57:48 PM  
DIA, you should get married with the intention of staying together, but with the knowledge that the strike rate is about 50%.

I would love to be married to the boy for forever and ever, but I also know that odds are pretty even as to whether that happens. That said, of course, you can do a lot to influence the odds in your favour, but divorce is a modern-day reality.
 
2005-03-15 9:21:06 PM  
HagarTheHorrible:

Being single, and planning to stay so, I just use what would be my alimony/child support on lots of hookers.

There's gotta be a happy medium somewhere. Why do hookers have to be so skanky?
 
2005-03-15 11:16:05 PM  
What a bunch of cynics! If anyone goes into marriage thinking they should safe-guard their precious belongings, perhaps they should not get married.

And I'm not being unrealistic here, doesnt' matter what the "stats" show, it's where your heart is.

Sheesh!
 
2005-03-16 12:08:46 AM  
satire? nope.

been there, done that.
 
2005-03-16 12:36:19 AM  
My wife farted on me tonight.
 
2005-03-16 1:01:04 AM  
Or you could... you know... NOT GET MARRIED??

/obvious
 
2005-03-16 4:48:33 AM  
Time for some good marriage jokes:

Marriage is a three ring circus:
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
Suffering

A man is incomplete until he gets married.
Then he's finished.
 
2005-03-16 4:55:42 AM  
hehe nomarriage.com
 
2005-03-16 4:56:58 AM  
 
2005-03-16 4:58:19 AM  
This "forever and ever" crap is pretty foolish and naive. Will I be the exact same person I am now in 20 years? Who knows. I'd never promise that I will be. It'd be best not to marry someone you can't live with, but it's often the very things associated with getting married that bring tensions that didn't exist before. Children are one example, but there are others. Maybe you'll be lucky and have no problem living with the same person until your death. But I wouldn't count on it.
 
2005-03-16 5:00:14 AM  
I would. Even if I loved some woman to bits, I'd still make sure she didn't get a single cent in a divorce, because:

a)it's stupid not to plan for a statistically probable outcome
b)it's just contingency planning. it doesn't have any relevance to the current relationship. it only comes into play when you get divorced so if things stay nice and rosy, then it is never an issue, but if things go south then it actually eventuated and it is the appropriate thing to do in those circumstances.
 
2005-03-16 5:23:57 AM  

This "forever and ever" crap is pretty foolish and naive. Will I be the exact same person I am now in 20 years? Who knows. I'd never promise that I will be. It'd be best not to marry someone you can't live with, but it's often the very things associated with getting married that bring tensions that didn't exist before. Children are one example, but there are others. Maybe you'll be lucky and have no problem living with the same person until your death. But I wouldn't count on it.


That's pretty weak. You talk as if you just randomly change over time and have no controll over it. The man you become is the man you make, so if you fall out of love or whatever you want to call it with your wife it's your own doing.

But then again, I'm one of those "backward" people who belive in values, Sacraments and an invsible guy in the sky. On the plus side so will any woman I marry so I'm not so worried about divorce.
 
2005-03-16 5:27:34 AM  
Unless it's a woman who accepts traditional roles when it comes to marriage (cooks, cleans, and takes care of babies), there is just no point in marriage or interest for me. I especially stay away from single moms.
 
2005-03-16 5:31:08 AM  
Man-eaters suck.

/boohoo
 
2005-03-16 5:32:55 AM  
Hey whaledawg we don't call you backwards anymore. Now we call people who believe in god idiots who have such a pathetic existence they will cling to any lie thrown at them. Stay strong thoug, cause I'm sure you will be rewarded when you die. Lol. No really. You will. I'm not laughing my ass off.
/honest
 
2005-03-16 5:35:45 AM  
[image from imagehost.biz too old to be available]

Phil Hartman says: Don't get F*CKING married! Thank you.
 
2005-03-16 5:42:29 AM  
Or you could just go the route of not having a penny to your name. Problem solved.
 
2005-03-16 5:43:20 AM  
While he did not leave me for another chick, he seems to have moved on to younger, probably much greener pastures.

He left you for another man? You know, that's kinda hot...

Anyway, I don't see the point of getting married if you plan on getting a divorce? If it's a person you can't live with then why make a lifetime commitment? Heck, that's why I insisted on such a long engagement with my ex. It took two or three years to really get to know her, and I'm glad I took the time.

Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if people would let engagements run for more than a few months?

Oh, and no problems dating single moms here. Kids are awesome -- and I don't have that much aganist dating married moms either, come to think of it.
 
2005-03-16 5:45:48 AM  
whaledawg:
You talk as if you just randomly change over time and have no control over it.
Well, I change in ways I did not forsee ahead of time. The person I thought I'd be 10 years ago isn't the man I am today. That's "random" enough for me.
The man you become is the man you make
I agree that one should take responsibility for one's actions. That's why I don't make promises I can't be sure I'll be able to keep.
 
2005-03-16 5:47:34 AM  
CrystalToe

I always told my wife she'd know the marriage was over when she saw the belt-sander flying into the bathtub with her.

It's a good thing I'm here in the office alone...no one to ask me how the keyboard likes Orange Strawberry Banana Burst Tropicana Twister. I can sooooo see my husband poking his head in and yelling "Catch!" as the lights flicker. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh!
 
2005-03-16 6:04:35 AM  
It's not about money, it's about loooooove. Until I stop loving you. Then it's about the money.

Seriously, people have been getting divorced for, hmmm, centuries now. You'd think they'd have found a better solution to the money issue by now. For that matter, for the whole divorce process. It seems sort of lopsided now, especially with so many two income households. Most divorced people I know think they got the shaft - men and women - so you'd think there'd be a way to be fair to both sides.

For what it's worth, they're considering child support reform here.
Pops
 
2005-03-16 6:26:34 AM  
That is some cynism going on here.

In my opinion, if they wanted to defend marriage they should ban prenups not gay marriage.
 
2005-03-16 7:26:09 AM  
Seriously, people have been getting divorced for, hmmm, centuries now. You'd think they'd have found a better solution to the money issue by now.

Well, the "solution" used to be that women were chattel, so they got nothing, and were thrown out in the street penniless. However the whole equal rights thing farked that up but good. The whole problem with divorce is that you don't want anybody ending up screwed - a woman like my mom who was a housewife for many years (she did have a library science degree but quit to raise kids) would have zero marketable skills after a divorce, and no support. You don't want society awash in penniless divorcees. Since this is a rather rare case now, the problem becomes splitting the financial gestalt that is a married couple - Neither would usually have exactly half of what they have together, if they hadn't married. One (not always the man of course) usually brings in more $ than the other. But the other is not a complete dependant. So how do you split it?

Of course the other option is for a married couple to keep separate finances, split all the bills 50/50, and basically act like roommates who have sex. My coworker knew a couple like this once. He couldn't afford to fly home for a relative's funeral, and she wouldn't give him any money, because, well, it's her money. That's no way to live.
 
2005-03-16 7:27:15 AM  
It's not about money, it's about loooooove. Until I stop loving you. Then it's about the money.

You win. Single most valid point here.
 
2005-03-16 7:27:15 AM  
Seventy cents on the dollar is nothing compared to a ruined financial life.
 
2005-03-16 7:44:39 AM  
Yup. Been married, didn't work, lost a mess of stuff. Didn't care so much about the stuff (since it's nothing but... stuff) as I did having absolutely no money to draw from to start making a new home for myself.

It's not about money, it's about loooooove. Until I stop loving you. Then it's about the money.

Nail on the head, right there.

The only thing that really sucked was having to sell my Chapman Stick to cover my divorce costs, all to have that paperwork expire because I couldn't find my ex to get the paperwork served.
 
2005-03-16 7:45:29 AM  
I know many a woman whose only goal is to marry rich. The fact that they don't love the guy is to their advantage. Much easier emotionally to get a divorce, and she still gets the money.

I personally hope they die alone and broke.
 
2005-03-16 7:47:51 AM  
Yup. Been married, didn't work...

Honestly, I'd like to hear how long you knew her before getting married. People looked at me like a freak for wanting to wait five years, but you know what -- it kept me from having to get a divorce, I can tell you that.
 
2005-03-16 7:48:13 AM  
Hiding something in case of divorce? Hell...I don't even think about dating unless I've hidden the good stuff and nailed everything else down.

Your honor she took my stuff.

She says it's her stuff.

But I have the reciepts.

She says they were gifts.

They weren't.

Prove it.
 
2005-03-16 7:50:30 AM  
Damn those gays ruining marriage! We should ammend the Constitution!
 
2005-03-16 8:01:24 AM  
NineInchNader : 3 years.
 
2005-03-16 8:04:42 AM  
Call me jaded.

Call me cynical.

Call me a bitter, bitter man.

But the best advice I have for any man these days is this:

Never do anything with a woman that involves putting both of your names on the same piece of paper.
 
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