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(Ephitat)   R.I.P. Write your epitaph as though your whole life revolved around getting a submission greenlit on Fark   ( tinypic.com) divider line
    More: Caption, Contests  
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2734 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2005 at 7:05 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2005-02-18 08:33:51 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
Fark party reminder: 8:00 pm, Friday the 13th, Hell.
2005-02-18 08:38:33 PM  
Asked mods to delete her Boobies
They deleted her Boobies instead

2005-02-18 08:40:14 PM  
Nobody misses him
2005-02-18 08:41:01 PM  
Duke Sucks
2005-02-18 08:42:35 PM  
Here lies Wet Fart
Skid marks at the green light
Belie his delight
For ending right at the start
2005-02-18 08:44:31 PM  
Tracer Bullet - Performed silly research about obvious truth. Proves still no cure for cancer. 1982-2005
2005-02-18 08:46:11 PM  
[image from home.kc.rr.com too old to be available]
2005-02-18 08:52:51 PM  

Found dead, but was then discovered to be not dead, but still assumed to be dead. When she was found to be alive, it was then determined that she was neither alive nor dead, but undead. Undead is icky, so she was re-killed, and now lies here. Dead.

/dead drunk
2005-02-18 08:56:47 PM  
[image from contentvulture.com too old to be available]
2005-02-18 09:01:10 PM  
Here lies yotta.
He didn't get as many
as he otta.
2005-02-18 09:03:28 PM  
He hit it all right.
2005-02-18 09:03:44 PM  
I could care less that nfkiller did not have a link greenlit.

-nfkiller's killer
2005-02-18 09:08:02 PM  
God is the real deal
George Bush is his apostle
Here come the flames, HEL-!
2005-02-18 09:10:27 PM  

(unsolicited body in ground)
2005-02-18 09:27:04 PM  
Here lies Baron-Harkonnen, beloved son.

fb- was the father.
2005-02-18 09:28:43 PM  
[image from big12warzone.com too old to be available]
2005-02-18 09:30:01 PM  
Here lies RobbieFal, I should have tried harder
2005-02-18 09:33:33 PM  
Sad -- plain sad and horrific like a geriatric circumcision.
2005-02-18 09:36:42 PM  
This week's here comes the science hilarity will ensue after ugly assed baby tiger will have hilarity and jailarity ensue. In other news, Duke sucks.
2005-02-18 09:40:10 PM  
Here lies VideoVader.

[image from mit.edu too old to be available]

His only greenlit article sported a headline mocking Hillary Clinton, and the thread developed into a flamewar.
He couldn't have been happier.

/Vader out.

2005-02-18 09:43:34 PM  
[image from crystalinks.com too old to be available]

I've waited a long time for my first green light on fark.

Too bad I'm really dead.
2005-02-18 10:02:05 PM  
What a biatch, two greenlights today for StrikitRi-ach.
2005-02-18 10:04:09 PM  
"Frozen body found mailed to random address."
2005-02-18 10:21:17 PM  
Genetic Mishap

1977 - 2005

Never a submission greenlit, oh well.
She'll still be thinking up lame headlines in hell.

2005-02-18 11:00:36 PM  
Holy jumpin' Jesus! Things are all farked up! Bad kitty!!

This epitaph was already submitted on 2005-02-18 10:36:33 (US/Eastern Time) ... and was listed on Fark on 2005-02-18 20:11:03

Epitaph submission thingee

2005-02-18 11:04:41 PM  
[image from tinypic.com too old to be available]

2005-02-18 11:14:50 PM  
This one actually involves my only Green-Light: that stupid AWOL Marine (*sniffle*, wipes away tear):

[image from tinypic.com too old to be available]
2005-02-18 11:17:02 PM  

I submitted this with a funnier headline

2005-02-18 11:17:31 PM  
Here lies Ayukawa, a man who had a mission
On fark, he tried
On fark, he died
With only one submission.
2005-02-18 11:23:07 PM  
"Jo Momma has died.

Ju are an Orphan

Ju happy now, Yackass?"
2005-02-19 12:12:21 AM  
I died and went to Delaware
2005-02-19 12:19:30 AM  
guinness30030, ???? - 2005, Never Figured Out How People Can Find Articles Worth Farking So Damn Fast...he was also the first to notice that if an article hits fark, 30 minutes later it hits Yahoo's Front Page...he was pretty sure it had something to do with the Freemasons or the Illuminati or somthing sinister like that...
2005-02-19 12:22:40 AM  
Damn, forgot the voting and the closing statement...

There was once a boy named Drue
Who grew up into a perverted man
While clicking through boobies links
He died with his c*ck in his hand

/greenlight, peenlight.
2005-02-19 01:09:48 AM  
[image from mental-pictures.com too old to be available]
/is "late epitaph" an oxymoron?
2005-02-19 01:18:43 AM  
Alas poor Stevedogg
Once he had a greenlight
But the mods giveth and some other mod tooketh away

2005-02-19 01:41:21 AM  
Farkaholic submitted a link,
With a headline that really did stink.
All she got was 'Bad Kitty!'
Made her felt pretty sh*tty,
So she off'd herself quick as a wink.
2005-02-19 04:21:59 AM  
Here lies
It really WAS a trap...

2005-02-19 05:04:28 AM  
This epitaph is useless without pics.
2005-02-19 06:03:45 AM  
2005-02-19 07:57:20 AM  


2005-02-19 09:03:16 AM  
Got his ticket to hell first class.
Now saint Nick's gonna ride his ass.
2005-02-19 12:21:03 PM  

2005-02-19 12:21:55 PM  
Here Lies Abe Bagota Vigoda
/coming soon to this grave
2005-02-19 02:21:16 PM  
[image from photodump.com too old to be available]

2005-02-19 02:31:29 PM  
Here lies LiaLia
I can't even write a funny epitaph
2005-02-19 06:56:16 PM  
[image from rose-hulman.edu too old to be available]

/my roommate...banned last night
2005-02-19 07:07:13 PM  
gruxx (1977-2005) wished Fb- was his father. Here comes the science; hilarity will not ensue.
2005-02-19 09:46:47 PM  
Protect your Scrotum
2005-02-21 12:16:41 PM  
Today is the 20th anniversary of the Jose Maldonado Incident. To mark the occassion, I have commented about this life-altering event often on the Fark comment boards. Here is my entry. It combines increasing awareness of the dreaded spectre of UOJE (Unplanned Overnight Jacket Exchange) with captioning my epitaph re: the non-greenlighting of articles. A vote for me is a vote against Jose Maldonado.

Boy stole my jacket.
Thief? Jose Maldonado.
Bronchial is sad.

Twenty years later
Fark is only salvation
No greenlight for me.
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