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(Abc.net.au)   Jesus Chainsaw Massacre now available with half the spatter   ( abc.net.au) divider line
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21808 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2005 at 9:12 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-02-11 03:47:00 PM  
Wytchocalate

You are really grasping for something, but Im not sure what. Oh yeah, thats right, you are implying that I am hitting on her! YOU BIG SILLY!111!!!111!

No, in all seriousness, I have shared in many debates and flamewars with Karmic. A true intellectual with a better knack at wording her arguments than most anyone I have met.
 
2005-02-11 03:49:16 PM  
Farker_Taint

You are an awesome Xtian :-)
 
2005-02-11 03:49:43 PM  
KarmicHoaxe's picture is an old picture of nicole kidman.
 
2005-02-11 03:49:43 PM  
ArcadianRefugee

Sorry, no I don't recall. It's New Testament. (Ha! Der)

The best I can offer is flipping through my very much highlighted and post-it noted bible when I get home and find the exact verse.
 
2005-02-11 03:50:21 PM  
KarmicHoax:

I seem to recall Revelations stating that there's only enough room in heaven for about 144,000 chosen people.


Thats why I got a penthouse in hell.
/heated pool
 
2005-02-11 03:50:25 PM  
2005-02-11 03:43:46 PM Wytchocolate [TotalFark]
2005-02-11 03:33:54 PM Farker_Taint [TotalFark]
Karmic Hoax
Glad to see you again, its been a while. Your points are right on. Keep up the good fight!
/KarmicHoax fan!

Would you be saying that if you hadn't seen her profile? ;->


Ewww... she looks like mother teresa....
 
2005-02-11 03:51:17 PM  
mister13

Yup. Pre-plastic surgery snafu.
 
2005-02-11 03:51:56 PM  
WalkingCarpet
soporific:
"There are indeed Christians who have decided to put CHRIST back into Christianity, who live by Jesus' creed of love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies, and love whoever's left to love. Those who preach hate are not followers of Christ, no matter how good their sheep costumes are."

That may be but where are they?
All I see are a group of people who are systematically demonizing other groups of people.
They may exist but they are clearly in the minority in my opinion.


Preacher Tony Campolo is one such Christian. He recently co-authored a book called "Adventures in Missing the Point," which basically rakes mainstream Christianity over the coals for many of the reasons you rake it over the coals. It's going to take a while for more Christians like him to come out of the woodwork, so I can believe that you've never seen such Christians.

And sadly, the thoughtful moderates are often shouted down by the intolerant, mentally deranged fundies. And right now, the fundies are winning, as evidenced by Christians who still support President Bush and the hateful policies of his administration.

Perhaps Christians like me ARE in the minority. And I really don't know what to do about it, as it's ahrd to find rational, thoughtful, and Jesus-teaching adhering Christians in the world of "I don't trust the Liberal Media" bumber stickers. Right now, all I can do is post on FARK and try not to be a dick to other people in real life.
 
2005-02-11 03:52:08 PM  
2005-02-11 03:43:56 PM KarmicHoax [TotalFark]
Off topic, I like the Gnostics.



Ever read any Philip K Dick? Especially the later books after his 'vision.'
 
2005-02-11 03:52:27 PM  
2005-02-11 03:46:46 PM Mob Barley

Wytchocolate: Who was the mother of Cain and Abel's children?


Thats one thing I never figured out myself. Must been Eve.
It was a friggin inbred gangbang!


Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that Adam and Eve really existed. I'm helping walkintall understand that the alot of the Old Testament tried to explain what science at that time hadn't. (How the earth and humans came into existence, etc).
 
2005-02-11 03:52:51 PM  
Farker_Taint

Gah!! Ssshhh! You're gonna make me blush AND get really self-conscious! Thank you though.
 
2005-02-11 03:53:13 PM  
2005-02-11 03:18:40 PM F42
Again: Bushies are not christians. They call themselves christians, much like how every politician calls himself honest, but they aren't.

Yeah well until I see Jesus or God or an angel armed with a flaming sword come down and deny it I'll just have to take them at their word and believe that they are Christians.

/I'm not holding my breath waiting. I advise you not to hold your breath waiting, either.
 
2005-02-11 03:53:42 PM  
KarmicHoax: The best I can offer is...

I'd appreciate it. If you locate it, plez email to me (address in profile).

Thanks.
 
2005-02-11 03:53:49 PM  
2005-02-11 01:39:08 PM Holly_Wight


Yes. I believe what I say. I say what I believe, and I state what I know from experience. I was a Christian for a while. I went to Christian schools. I am surrounded by them every day, and I have yet to find one who isn't at least a self-centered, fearful, low-key hate-monger with a smile on their face.

------------------

Damn, girl, you need to change neighborhoods!
 
2005-02-11 03:53:53 PM  
Typical, Won't you defend your belief's Walkingtall and Loveinaction.


I once visited a friend at a christian college. I went to some of his classes with him to get a feel for the general attitudes of ppl. After a while I got giddy and asked a question similar to the one I just asked walkingtall. They wouldn't answer my question. They told me I was not welcome on campus, and told my friend not to invite me to visit again.
When religious types are face with the truth they curl up into a ball and play dead.
 
2005-02-11 03:53:53 PM  
Your sarcasm is merely a clever way of dodging the issue at hand, so bravo!.

Well, at least SOMEONE recognized my sardonic humor (pay attention there, WalkingCarpet) to what I interpreted as an original post requiring nothing more.

Be a good chap, and address the issue.
It's actually been addressed numerous times, old man.

If people dont want to be bothered by *your* religious views, what gives you or others the right to continually force your view down their throat or condemn you to the "fiery pits of hell", which goes against several basic principals of Christianity?

Where exactly are these legions of Xtians grabbing ahold of people? What army of travelling salesmen of the Word are sticking their feet in the collective doors of citizens?

Personally, I can't address any 'fiery pits of hell' accusations, because as you rightfully point out, that's not what the Bible is about.

Gehenna is not a place of tormenting poor souls who had the misfortune of being born in a world controlled by Satan. Anything that gets thrown into the so-called "lake of fire" doesn't retain consciousness.

Indeed, Death itself is tossed in, proving that such 'tossing' is a figurative term for total eradication.

Many sentences can be (and have been) written about it all... but like I say, I have little interest in repeating what has been said on many threads in the past.
 
2005-02-11 03:54:01 PM  
Who was the mother of Cain and Abel's children?

Thats one thing I never figured out myself. Must been Eve.
It was a friggin inbred gangbang!


Dueling Banjos anyone?
 
2005-02-11 03:55:19 PM  
Lollipop165

Thanks, I think! ;)

I dont consider myself a Christian. However, I believe that there is a God. I view the bible as a literary work, which has many good stories and examples of general life and how to live it (dont kill, etc). I don't take it as the be-all-end-all nor do I consider it the infalable word of god. I believe in the basic premise and example of Jesus, he did a lot of good in the world and is a great example to live by.

However, Religion, Christianity for example, is a human concieved device for the controlling of people and to progress a particular agenda. Any concept that suppresses free though, I am totally against and I believe it flys in the face of whatever God that you happen to believe in, be it Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.
 
2005-02-11 03:57:37 PM  
Bukharin

Not yet but he is on my list. I've only started with Gnostic stuff in the past 6 months or so and I can't believe more Christians don't toss the standard belief system and go for the Gnosis.
 
2005-02-11 03:57:48 PM  
Farker_Taint:

However, Religion, Christianity for example, is a human concieved device for the controlling of people and to progress a particular agenda. Any concept that suppresses free though, I am totally against and I believe it flys in the face of whatever God that you happen to believe in, be it Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.

If you get a chance, see the movie: "What the Bleep do we know"
-Its kind of what you just said + quantum physics...
 
2005-02-11 03:57:48 PM  
Getting a little angry there?

Aw, jeez, that was obvious exaggerated irascibility for comic effect on FARK... NOW who's being thick?
 
2005-02-11 03:58:50 PM  
soporific:

Right now, all I can do is post on FARK and try not to be a dick to other people in real life.

Sounds like a good philosophy for life to me.
 
2005-02-11 04:00:13 PM  
All this beating on Mike_71 and Bevets is missing one important point:

Neither of them has demonstrated any sort of comprehensive knowledge of the Bible. They know specific words and phrases, presumably because (as is so often the case) they only read the parts of the Bible that they're told to read by a preacher or priest.

It's very possible that, like most so-called "Christians," neither of them could name who gave the sermon on the mount, nor provide detail as to what was said. It's also quite likely that neither of them can name all four of the so-called "cannonical" gospels.

I can. WITHOUT a Google search. And I'm not a Christian.
 
2005-02-11 04:00:19 PM  
kendi823

"You know, for the people out there like myself, calling "passion" the "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" is actually offensive. Not that I expect anyone to care...."


Boohoo, sorry man but whatever soapbox youre on Im sure youll put a lot of miles on that thing trolling in this thread. I loved Return of the Jedi, if some one made fun of that movie I wouldn't be offended. I'm sorry if people view this movie of Jesus' last hours as a snuff film, Jesus' message was much more important than how he died. If Jesus didnt take offense to the actions of those who killed him Im sure you can find it in your heart to get over it.

"All you haters can say whatever you want, I've heard it all before. But for me, there is great value to this movie. And in the same way that a Holocaust film is important to see (however disturbing or gory), so is this."

Unlike this movie I can prove the Holocaust happened. Sorry I believe in things too but I don't count them as a fact until they are proven...Hitler was real, and God for now is just a theory until we meet him.

// having faith is great but please don't even compare what you think to be true and what is true...
// when did everyone get so goddamn sensitive
// Im sure neither God nor Jesus cares about this damned movie
// saw it thought it was a good movie, though I felt I was being sold Christianity via the Save The Children method = showing me sad images so that I can send money or feel bad or whatever.
 
2005-02-11 04:00:57 PM  
soporific

So while it is true that no one can be good enough to earn their way into God's good graces, the point is that they don't have to. Just like a child can never earn his/her parent's love, or shouldn't have to at least, we don't have to earn God's love. We've already got it. That's the heart of it.

And this is where Christians miss the point. They start seeing themselves as morally superior to everyone else, and they start acting like their salvation was earned or had anything to do with their goodness. Salvation and works are not connected in God's eyes, and our only attitude should be one of humilty. Period. Christians need to get rid of that sinful self-righteousness.

And realize that Jesus was a bleeding heart Liberal and the economics of the New Testament are primarily socialist.


Ummm... based on your posts you are not saying you are a Christian. If you know ANY Christian that sees himself as morally superior to anybody else I challenge you to show him to me. NO true Christian sees themselves as better than anyone else because part of being a Christian is knowing that no matter what you do you cannot get into heaven on works alone. Scripture also says faith without works is dead. Works without faith is dead. The two go hand in hand. If you are a Christian then what denomination? What are your core beliefs? Are you a Bible picker and chooser or do you seek to understand everything?
 
2005-02-11 04:00:58 PM  
Wytchocolate: Who was the mother of Cain and Abel's children?

Well, Abel was never mentioned as having taken a wife, nor of having children. His brothers (Cain and Seth) both were, though.

Not mentioned by name, there are two possibilities. One is that they wed their sisters -- Adam and Eve had many other kids (recall Adam is listed as having lived some 800 years after Seth's birth). The usual argument against inbreeding here is that this close to the original creations, there was no genetic abnormalities -- they were all "perfect" genetically -- and so no chance of the inbreeding resulting in malformations or congenital diseases. It further goes to state that the variations in genetics present now are a result of "multiplicative degeneration" -- the same phenomenon that gives you a perfect copy of the original, but the copy of the copy isn't as good, the copy of the copy of the copy even worse, and so forth. That degeneration is responsible for both the difficulties with inbreeding as well as the genetic variance we see today. Originally, this wasn't a problem.
 
2005-02-11 04:01:01 PM  
God is love.
Love is blind.
Stevie Wonder is blind.
God is Stevie Wonder.

/got nuthin
 
2005-02-11 04:02:29 PM  
LoveInAction:

Where exactly are these legions of Xtians grabbing ahold of people? What army of travelling salesmen of the Word are sticking their feet in the collective doors of citizens?

1. West Hartford CT.
2. Jahovah's Witnesses, Mormans
 
2005-02-11 04:03:55 PM  
Do you believe that the earth does not rotate and is balanced on pillars?

Actually, I heard it was on the back of a big ol' turtle!

Typical, Won't you defend your belief's Walkingtall and Loveinaction.

What on earth are you talking about... this entire thread I've been talking about my beliefs and not letting the blantantly hostile remarks of certain farkers go unchecked.

As far as "defending my beliefs", I merely explain my view on the matter, and (like Joshua) simply tell others to serve the god(s) and/or philosphy(ies) they think are right.

As for me and my house, we will serve Jehovah.
 
2005-02-11 04:04:47 PM  
WalkingCarpet
soporific:
Right now, all I can do is post on FARK and try not to be a dick to other people in real life.

Sounds like a good philosophy for life to me.


My other one is: "Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!"
Which, if you look carefully, is pretty Biblical. Love your neighbor and celebrate the life God has given you.

/where did I leave those keys?
 
2005-02-11 04:05:38 PM  
I really shouldn't click on these threads without a bible handy....

BUT... doesn't the parentage of the wives of Cain and Abel get explained away by the creation of a nearby settlement of another "tribe"?

In Genesis.
 
2005-02-11 04:05:56 PM  
2005-02-11 03:32:57 PM skylabdown

What about the people who don't even know the details of their own religion, and yet expect other people to follow it? Can we make fun of them?
 
2005-02-11 04:06:36 PM  
I'm not sure who it's for, but I like it
[image from evolvefish.com too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 04:07:00 PM  
Walkingtall...If you can't answer it means you don't know about Hummarabi and Sumerian influences in your religion. Your ignorance astounds me, and your cowardice to address this issue is all the more damning.

I throughly encourage all readers to reseach The Hummarabi and Sumerian Culture to see how bullshiat the christian fudies are.

yOUR SILENCE ONLY INDICATE YOUR IGNORANCE.

/this only applys to zealots. reasonable ppl who follow christ teachings as teachings and nothing more I appluad you. too bad dogmatic Phuks like Walking have to ruin things for you.
 
2005-02-11 04:07:15 PM  
KarmicHoax
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/
 
2005-02-11 04:07:33 PM  
I think it bears a mention for all of those who say that the bible is the infallible word of God, please research the history of C., Flavius Valerius Constantinus or Constantine the Great. Much study has been put into his involvement in changing, taking away or adding to what we now call the bible.

It's worth looking into, but if you are sensitive to facts and open debate, dont bother.
 
2005-02-11 04:07:33 PM  
Do you believe that the earth does not rotate and is balanced on pillars?

Actually, I heard it was on the back of a big ol' turtle!


Do not take the name of Great A'Tuin in vain.
 
2005-02-11 04:08:25 PM  
LoveInAction

Missed the part in the Old Testament about the turtle. Did read the part about the pillars though.

You're a little cranky.
 
2005-02-11 04:08:47 PM  
Where exactly are these legions of Xtians grabbing ahold of people? What army of travelling salesmen of the Word are sticking their feet in the collective doors of citizens?


1. West Hartford CT.
2. Jahovah's Witnesses, Mormans


You're just being smarmy now... neither Jehovah's Witnesses nor Mormons will refuse to leave when you tell them to... I've had enough of them in my house to know.

I'll give you CT, though...
 
2005-02-11 04:09:08 PM  
ArcadianRefugee: there are two possibilities

The other is a group of people living nearby that are otherwise unmentioned. While this may sound to be a "convenient" excuse, think of it this way: look at your average TV sitcom -- how often do you see the neighbours in their homes, or what their lives are like? Typically, the only time you see the neighbors at all is when they come over to the home of the main character(s).

This possibility is kinda like that -- these "others" lived nearby, but were not important to the story being related so were never gotten into in depth.
 
2005-02-11 04:10:02 PM  
LoveInAction:

What buried_alive said.

I live in Stamford, CT, a relatively bustling city 40 minutes outside of NYC and once a month it seems like, on Saturday morning I get that wonderful wake up door bell ringing.

Jehovah's Witnesses. No matter how many times I tell them I'm not interested, they comeback.

I'd put up that "no preaching" sign in a second if I knew my townhouse community would tolerate it.
 
2005-02-11 04:11:02 PM  
Everything you really need to know about life it says in the bible,
page 247, paragraph 8, word 4.
"the."
 
2005-02-11 04:12:04 PM  
[image from thiefsden.net too old to be available]
 
2005-02-11 04:12:21 PM  
townhouse community


Sounds like a euphamism for eternal damnation.
Are you sure you are alive?
 
2005-02-11 04:12:44 PM  
Missed the part in the Old Testament about the turtle. Did read the part about the pillars though.

You're a little cranky.


Cranky? I've been cracking jokes! (psst... the turtle thing is a Chinese legend, if I'm not mistaken.)

That's much more fun for everyone, rather than constantly having to explain the symbolism of a book that few here wish to truly understand.
 
2005-02-11 04:13:43 PM  
buried_alive

Where exactly are these legions of Xtians grabbing ahold of people? What army of travelling salesmen of the Word are sticking their feet in the collective doors of citizens?

1. West Hartford CT.
2. Jahovah's Witnesses, Mormans



Theology of cults vs denominations is a very large argument. James Jones claimed to be a Christian and claimed HIS way was the right way and that he spoke for God and he believed his followers were just not wise enough to interpret God's Word. That is where a lot of people get into trouble. That is another argument for another time.
 
2005-02-11 04:13:57 PM  
WalkingCarpet:

I'd put up that "no preaching" sign in a second if I knew my townhouse community would tolerate it.


Put a star of david up on your door.
/works
 
2005-02-11 04:14:06 PM  
rather than constantly having to explain the symbolism of a book that few here wish to truly understand.

Good joke!
 
2005-02-11 04:15:11 PM  
TurnerBrown:

Ahh. The haters are out in force already.

Whahhh. it's too violent.

O.K. here's a version with less violence shown.

Whahhh. you hypocrite, why dont you show it the way it really was.

Face it. You just like bashing christians.


Except that, you know, it's Christians making both complaints.

As a SubGenius, I could give less than a shiat that it's biblically accurate, and the only complaint I have about the violence is that it shows how hypocritical Christians really are. Violence is bad, mmmkay... unless it's Jesus getting beaten and splattered. If "The Passion" was about anybody but Jesus, it'd have gotten an NC-17 rating and no distributor in the world would touch it, and you know it.
 
2005-02-11 04:15:13 PM  
LoveInAction
Where exactly are these legions of Xtians grabbing ahold of people? What army of travelling salesmen of the Word are sticking their feet in the collective doors of citizens?


1. West Hartford CT.
2. Jahovah's Witnesses, Mormans

You're just being smarmy now... neither Jehovah's Witnesses nor Mormons will refuse to leave when you tell them to... I've had enough of them in my house to know.

I'll give you CT, though...


Try Southern Baptists, Pentacostals and even some Christian, Methodist and "Reformed" Baptist. I guess its a geographic issue, but here in Tennessee, its not just the Jehovah's witnesses or Mormons. I have had them tell me that they hoped that God would strike me and my family dead because I told them I wasn't interested and to please leave. Others around the area have had them vandalize garage doors or siding on houses with spraypaint. I know its a small minority thats doing these things and they arent representative of the entire lot, but regardless, its pretty much the same message that drives these people to act out.
 
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